When you work in retail, it's almost inevitable that you will have to deal with rude and entitled customers. These "Karens" have no mercy or respect for anyone, and they will stop at nothing to get what they want. Here are some of the worst instances of Karens wreaking havoc in public:
1. Do It Yourself
I work at Jimmy John's. At JJ's, if you've never been, it's mostly self-service; you get your napkins, and if you need a bag, you get them yourself. Our sandwiches are wrapped in a way that you generally don't need one, and everything is made "to go." A lady came in one day and ordered like 4 or 5 sandwiches. As always, I redirect them to the end of the bar to pick up their sandwiches and grab whatever napkins and bags they want.
Now, if someone asks us to bag something FOR them, we will. People generally don't (unless they're really old in which case we'll do it for them regardless) but nobody minds if they do. This lady never asked once for someone to bag her food. She stood at the bar, quiet, bagging all of her sandwiches up and then left. 15 or 20 minutes go by. Then the other shoe drops.
Her husband calls the store and asks to speak to a manager, AKA me. I pick up the phone and the conversation goes like this, mostly verbatim: ME: Hi, how can I help you? GUY: shouting Yeah, since when is it ya'lls policy for people to bag their own food? My wife just came from there and told me she had to bag everything herself! ME: I'm sorry sir, but it's technically always been our policy. Everything is self-service here at Jimmy John's. We certainly would have -- cuts me off GUY: WELL I'M GOING TO BE SURE TO TELL EVERYONE I KNOW ABOUT THE KIND OF SERVICE YOU GUYS OFFER OVER THERE.
ME: Okay, well, thanks, I guess? I mean, it isn't any sort of secret. hangs up
2. Clueless Customer
As a pharmacist, this is a conversation I’ve had with a customer: “I’d like some OxyContin.” “Okay, sure. Who’s your prescribing physician?” “My what?” “Sorry, who’s the doctor that told you needed OxyContin?” “Oh, there wasn’t one.” “Uh. Okay. Do...do you have a prescription?” “No.” “So. You just want some OxyContin?” “Duh. Is there someone smarter than you working?” “Next!”
3. I Wanted To Pan This Nini
I worked in a cafe on the Jersey Shore during the summer. A nice-looking woman, who was obviously one of the “summer people,” came in and asked me about our sandwiches. She wanted to know if they were paninis. I told her that we press them on a panini grill, but the bread is just sub bread, not the kind generally used for a panini.
She asked, "So, it's like a panini?" I said yes...but when she got her sandwich, she surprised me with her next move. She opened it up and threw it at me. She started screaming to speak to a manager. When he came out, she told him that I had lied to her and told her it was a panini, and she refused to pay and wanted me fired. The manager just quietly told her to get out of his store.
4. Up And Down
I stopped to get gas today, and while talking with the cashier I mentioned that she was probably tired of people yelling at her about the price of gas—but that since she is the one standing there she probably gets it a lot. She said that every day someone complains to her, like she can do something about it. A guy then came in and demanded, "Why the heck is gas $3.76 a gallon?'
Without missing a beat, she said, "Because it went down 10 cents this morning." He just looked at her, paid and left.
5. Door Jam
A client bought a car from our dealership and called two days later to say that the back doors were not opening from the inside. I knew exactly what the problem was. I asked him specifically if the child lock was on, but he denied it. He brought the vehicle back to us and one of our salespeople opened the door and deactivated the child lock while getting in.
He opened the door and the client’s mind was blown that the door was suddenly opening.
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6. Fed Up
I used to work at an ice cream shop that gave away free samples on little spoons. I would usually scoop a little of the desired flavor and hand the spoon to the customer. Some freaks, however, took it to another level—they would eat the ice cream off the spoon while I was still holding it. It was as if they were babies and I was feeding it to them! It didn't bother me when kids would do it, but when grown men would, it was just awkward.
7. Playing Games
I worked in electronics at Target. Over at Guest Service one day, I saw a woman with her teenage daughter heatedly speaking to the guy at the counter. After a few moments, he pointed over at me in electronics. The woman's head whirled round, dragon like, toward me. The rest of her body realigned with her head and she stomped in my direction.
When she reached the counter I pleasantly asked, "How can I help you?" She slammed a receipt and PS3 controller on the counter, "I paid 55 dollars for this and I can only return it for 40!" I asked, "May I see your receipt?" She nodded and I picked it up, "See, 55 dollars!" "Yep, I see that," I said, "You bought this last week when the store gave away a 15 dollar gift certificate with the controller."
"So what!" "You would shop at Target again, right?" I asked. "Not if this isn't resolved!" she spat. Her daughter next to her was embarrassed. "Hypothetically, if there wasn't an issue, I'm guessing you would and you would use that 15 dollar gift card on your future purchase. If we let you return this controller for 55 dollars then you would have a free 15 dollars. That is why the return price is 15 dollars less...I can do the return for you over here if you don't want to go back to Guest Service."
"I didn't want to return it, I just wanted to know why the return price was so much less," she said. She picked up her controller and receipt and began to walk off. Her daughter, clearly ashamed of her mother, thanked me and followed her mother out.
8. Skin Deep
We sell organic skincare where I work. A client called saying the seal on her moisturizer she just bought came off too easily and she wanted to return it. I asked her to bring it in so we could exchange it for her. When I checked her product, there was a straight-up finger-shaped hole in the foam seal. When I asked her about it, she said it happened after the fact.
Sure. I told her I would happily exchange it. She didn't seem thrilled but didn't say anything. At this point, I figured it was a case of buyer's remorse and she wanted a refund but was blaming the seal. So I hand her a fresh product. She takes it out of the box in front of me, saying she just wants to check the seal. She proceeds to pull up on the edges of the seal hard enough until it pops off.
She stares at me, I stare at her. She tells me, "See, this one is unsealed too." I told her, "Nope, that one was sealed. That’s an acceptable seal so the product should be just fine for you. Enjoy your day!" She didn't come back, but I put notes on her account in case she called the head company to complain about the so-called "seal" problem.
9. She Thought Her Comment Would Be Lost In Translation
I was working at the box office at a rock show at my college. Many customers were frustrated at how expensive the promoters made the tickets for our venue. The promoters were trying to get us to tell ticket buyers that the cheaper seats were sold out to force people into the near-empty orchestra, which was expensive.
We refused to comply, and the aftermath was ridiculous—we got a whole mess of very angry people. Some lady turned to her husband and called me a crazy thief for how pricey the tickets were, thinking I wouldn't understand the language she was speaking, but I did. I rattled back, "I'm not crazy; go speak to the promoter!" The look of shock was priceless.
10. Citizen’s Shaming
My boss once had a customer snag her shirt on the register counter. She went ballistic in ten seconds flat. She began shrieking about us replacing her shirt, that our counters were unsafe, and that she wanted compensation for her shirt. My boss is a very, very calm man. He apologizes, says he'll have someone from maintenance fix the counter, but the woman isn't satisfied.
She's holding up the entire line and refusing to complete her purchase, and the other customers seem pretty annoyed at her. The woman wouldn't give up, and finally the guy behind her in line has had it. He gets his wallet out, hands her a $20 bill, asks her if this makes her happy, then tells her to please shut up and leave the nice man (my boss) alone.
The woman made some terrible noise, left her items on the counter, and stomped off. The line applauded the man with the $20 (who still had it, the woman didn't take his money), and my boss gave him a hefty discount.
11. Forgot Your Password?
As an IT guy, I once spent 56 minutes on a password reset call with a dude who just could not get it. The new password requirements were simply beyond the limits of his comprehension. Over and over, around and around, we went through the process. I must have reset him half a dozen times. I didn't think it could get worse, but it did.
Finally, after I had long since made peace with the idea of getting fired for simply hanging up on this dude, he exclaims, "Wait a minute! Is that number supposed to be a lowercase or an uppercase one?”
12. Soup Or Salad?
I used to work at a cafe that had this spinach salad with a hot bacon dressing. The dressing was repulsive. It came in a giant tub, and it looked like a spicy, greasy gel that we put in the microwave for about two minutes until it had a nice film on top. Then we would give it to the customer in this side monkey bowl, and they would pour it on their salad.
One day, this HUGE GUY came in and sat at one of my tables. He ordered three cokes off the bat and the spinach salad with hot bacon dressing. I was pretty busy with other tables, so I tried to economize my time by running his dressing over a minute before the cook put his salad in the window. When I swung back to drop off the salad, I noticed the dressing bowl was empty.
I just put the salad down and didn't say anything. As I was walking away, his face turned tomato red. He screamed out loud to me in full volume, "Waitress, where is my dressing?!" I walked back over to him, and I just said, "Sir, you ate it." He retorted, "I thought that was my soup!!" I told him he didn’t order any soup.
He was so angry he was turning red. He screamed, "Well, bring me extra for my salad." I brought it out and later saw him drinking it like soup again.
13. All Hands On Deck
I used to work at Tesco, in England, as a team leader. Basically doing a manager's job, on a bit more than checkout operator’s wage. I wonder why I gave that up to become a teacher...oh yeah. Anyway, at Christmastime, for some reason, we were quite busy. We had a good 35 checkouts in the store, and 35 of those 35 checkouts were open.
Yet there were still lines. Ultimately, if thousands of people decide to do their Christmas shopping terribly late, and you have every single till open, what can you do? Anyway, this woman comes over to complain that she had to wait. I explained that the checkouts were all in use, and we could do nothing. She asked why I wasn't on a checkout.
This was something often asked, with the simple answer being that if I'm the one who has to sort out any problem in case any of the 35 checkouts break, or needs something, or a customer can't walk the five paces to change their broken packet of biscuits—and I'm on a checkout—nothing would be done. Anyway, this woman demanded that everyone should be on the checkouts.
Which they were. "I want to see the store manager!" she demanded, "You need to have more people working on the checkouts. Where can I see the store manager?" "Well," I replied, "He's currently sat on that checkout there, because we are so busy." She shut up. I really don't know what she wanted us to do.
14. Weather Or Not
I worked as a server at a higher-end steakhouse that had a beautiful patio. I was working a lunch shift on a day that was completely overcast, and it looked like it could start pouring rain any minute. Because of this, we didn’t “open up” the patio. The patio always had tables and chairs, but we didn’t open any umbrellas or set any tables.
A lady came in and asked for a seat on the patio, weird due to the weather but whatever. I walked her out to the patio and set up a table for her, and as I was walking away she asked if she could sit in a sunnier spot. None of the umbrellas were open, and there were no sunny spots because the sun was not out. I just looked at her and told her she could have her pick of any of the tables.
She looked around and it finally dawned on her that this was not patio weather. Years later, and I’m still not sure if she thought I had some magical weather powers or if she thought if she just wanted it to be sunny strongly enough, it would be.
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15. What A Nut!
I used to work at a roadhouse grill in Texas, and we kept full buckets of peanuts on the tables. One night, a family came in five minutes after closing, and my manager sat them in my section. I was okay with it, but I had already swept up the peanuts and cleaned my tables. So, I told them, "I hope y'all don't mind, but I've already swept the peanuts."
The guy flipped out and yelled, "What do you mean we ain't getting no darn peanuts? Why do you think we come to this hole?" To avoid confrontation, I said, "It's not a big deal," but he'd make me soon regret it. He then replied angrily, "You’re darn right it's not." As I walked away, he said, "And bring some of them darn buttered rolls while you're at it.”
The night went on like this until he paid but not before he went off on a tangent about what a terrible server I was. He even went as far as to call me a name. On his way out, he dumped the bucket on the floor, scraped the peanuts over the floor with his feet, cursed at me, and said, "Have fun cleaning that up." Easily the worst guest I ever served.
16. With All The Toppings
I used to work at an amusement park, and between department transfers, I started in food. My stand made funnel cakes and corndogs. The average wait time on a busy day could be upwards of 30 minutes in the sun, which I'll admit sucks. It's not any cooler in the stand standing over a 450 degree fryer. Anyhow...This guy comes up, orders four corndogs.
I ring him up and ask him if he wants any ketchup or mustard brushed on. He declines. I take his money and hand over four corndogs. His little girl bites into one and then tugs on daddy’s arm and says she wants mustard. I politely inform him that since she's already bitten out of her food, we can't brush it on; however if he'd head 50 steps to an adjacent building, he could skip the line and just grab some condiment packets.
Apparently this was unacceptable. Up until this point he was just a normal guy. Then suddenly he changed to a monster. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I WORK FOR?! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?" I tell him no. He then half-chuckles to himself and points out his pregnant wife sitting at a nearby table and then begrudges the time he spent in line. I again reassure him they will give him some mustard packets if he walks next door.
He loses it.
"I'M THE GOSH-DARN REGIONAL REP FOR COKE IN THIS AREA, I WILL BUY AND SELL YOUR BUTT, KID." This self-aggrandizing and demeaning talk towards me lasted a full 60 seconds or so. Then I told him "we only carry Pepsi products.” He was flush with embarrassment and rage, and anyone within earshot is laughing at him. To spite me (really his little girl) he didn't go get mustard packets. He forever was known as MustardMan.
17. Best Before
My co-worker and I work at a deli. One day, a customer came up to them asking why their meat smelled weird. My co-worker asked, “How long have you had it?” and then the customer said, “A few months, why?” The dude never even knew that expiration dates existed. He said that his ex-wife always prepared food for him and he has never cooked for himself.
He pointed at various other foods and asked if they had expiration dates too, so my co-worker had to explain that each food had a different lifespan.
18. Church Chump
A well-dressed older man and his family came in for lunch on a Sunday morning. It was evident that they had just gotten out of the church. I heard yelling, and I asked if I could help since I was both the cook and the manager. He said, "I want to speak to your manager!" I told him, "You're looking at him. What can I do for you?"
He pointed to the waitress and said, "This hussy here is giving me lip and COLD FRIES. I want to speak to your MANAGER!" Apparently, I was too young-looking to be anyone important, so he just blew his top and threatened me. He told me, "I'm going to make you wish you'd never been born. You'd better watch your back!" I had my waitress call the authorities and throw him out.
19. Good Parenting 101
I worked as a lifeguard for my first "real" job. One night, at the indoor water park, a child came up to me. He asked me very quickly where the bathroom was. I pointed him in the right direction and he quickly said, "No I need one closer!" I swore in my head as he pooped himself in front of me, poop running down his leg. I radioed him into first aid and we took him in and paged his parents.
Eventually his dad came in and we chit chatted about his son, no big deal (it happens more often than you think). His dad told us to change and clean him, though, and me and my manager refused. The dad was furious and yelled why not. We replied he's not our son. That shut him up.
20. A Cut Above
A customer in our store cut up a shirt because she couldn’t get it off. She pulled scissors out of her bag and cut up the sleeve and down the side, handed it back to me, and walked off. I called after her and said, “Ma’am, you have to pay for this.” What she said next blew my mind. She said she didn't want it because it was damaged.
I then explained to her that as she was the one who damaged it, and that we can’t sell it, that she has to pay. She just looked at me and said “Well, can’t you just sew it back up?” No, that’s not how it works, lady. In the end, I contacted security and a store manager and she ended up paying for the shirt, which was $160 (it was a rather pricey brand).
21. Take Two
I was working at Wendy's during lunch hour. Usually, I would be on grill or fry duty, but I was on sandwiches this time, which was not my strong suit. An aggressive young businesswoman ordered a junior burger with onions, pickles, and mustard. I made it and was about to put it in the bag when she told me I had made it wrong.
I repeated what she ordered and told her that was what I had made. She told me that I had made something different. I was about to argue with her when my supervisor walked by and stopped me in my tracks. He tossed my sandwich in the trash and rapidly made an identical sandwich. The lady was now finally satisfied.
22. A Helping Hand
I used to work at a video store, and after a while I got pretty desensitized to people throwing little hissy fits about late fees. One day a gentleman tried to rent a movie and I had to let him know he had accumulated some late fees on his account. Cue standard rant about having returned them on time, blah blah blah, "...and I'm just going to cut up my membership card when I get home!!"
I reached under the counter and grabbed a pair of scissors, held them out to him and said, "Well, you can do that here if you like." He gave me a venomous look and left the store in a huff. And it felt so good.
23. Closed Minded
So many times I'll be at work preparing to open before we open, and a customer will walk up and yank on the door without even looking and then stand back in confusion. Then I watch them read the sign that says we're closed and then inspect the sign with our hours that clearly says we don't open for another half hour, and then they start rattling the door and waving at me.
If I have to open the door and tell them to their faces that we aren't open yet, they usually just say "Oh." What is the thought process? What is going on?
24. I Got Shaken Up
I was called into work one day because they were busy and needed help, so I went in the clothes I was wearing at home. When I arrived, they handed me a fistful of tickets for people who needed drinks and ice cream. I immediately started drilling through the list, getting everything as fast as possible so I could return home.
I took a set of shakes out to a family, and upon giving one customer the shake she asked for, she threw a fit and totally raged. She pulled the lid off the cup and threw the shake all over me. I had caramel, hot fudge, milk, and ice cream all over me. I never did food service ever again after that.
25. I’ve Got A Package For You
Working at a shipping store, a customer tried to drop off a package to be shipped back to Clearwire (an internet company). He had the box wrapped in shipping paper and twine. Instead of a prepaid shipping label, he had printed out the directions on how to obtain the shipping label. I tried to explain to him that he needed to go back to his email, click on the link, and print the shipping label.
He was adamant that he did everything correctly and kept saying he was going to leave the package there and that it was our problem. My boss, hearing this, comes from the back and explains that if the customer leaves the package, my boss will throw it out the door. The guy turns around, leaves the package, and says again, "Not my problem." He got exactly what he asked for, and then some.
My boss, true to his word, follows him and throws the package towards the customer. The package bounces a few times on the sidewalk right past the customer and the guy keeps on walking. The package stayed outside for 15 minutes in heavy rain before my boss relents and took the package inside. The package was still under a counter four months later when I left the job.
26. Please Be Specific
Back in the late 90s, I was working retail at a dollar store. One fellow came up to me and asked, and I kid you not, "Do you have the thing with the thing that comes out?" I gave him a second to see if he would realize what he had said and provide some detail. After a beat or two, I said, "I'm sorry, sir, you will have to be a bit more specific. What thing are you looking for?"
He made hand gestures, almost as if he were pulling open a door or something, and said, "You know...one of those things with the thing that comes out." Managing not to lose my temper, I said, "Sir...What does the thing do?" He said, "It makes coffee." I said, "Are you asking if we have coffee makers that have filter baskets that can be pulled completely out?"
"Yes," he said. I replied, "No, sir, we don't have the thing with the thing that comes out, we only have the thing with the thing that swivels out. Sorry." Later, he came up to me. He held up a box of 35-gallon trash bags. He asked me, "Will these fit in that?" and he pointed at a trash can that was marked, "50 Gallons." I said, "No, sir."
He asked, "Why not?" I said, "Because that is a fifty-gallon trash can, and those are thirty-five-gallon bags." He looked at me blankly for a moment. I added, "Thirty-five is less than fifty." "Ah," he said, nodding sagely.
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27. Award Winning Wiseguy
I managed an upscale steakhouse in a resort town. This couple, who had been there before and always caused trouble, walked in. We sat them at a table, but no one wanted to wait on them. I put up an offer to my staff to try and entice them, and my best waiter took the deal. The meal seemed to go without a hitch. The waiter dropped the check, picked up the credit card, and a few minutes later ran it. The couple signed off and left.
The waiter showed me the credit card receipt. Above the signature line, where it says, "Tip", the guy wrote a rather rude statement, and it was completely uncalled for. "YO MAMA!" I congratulated him on doing such a good job with such a lousy customer. I took a copy of the receipt, framed it, and hung it on the office door with a note that said, "Congrats, Steven! You win the Biggest Idiotic Customer Award!"
A week later, the couple came back. They put their name on the list and had a seat at the bar. The bartender, who was a BIG guy, came back and informed me of their presence. I told him to let them know that they were not welcome at our restaurant in no uncertain terms and to get their butts out now. I watched as he told them. The guy turned two shades lighter while his wife got a look of shock on her face. They walked out and were never seen again.
28. Paying The Price
We had a building where I ran a family sewing factory with a small store attached, which my mom ran. One day a guy comes in to deliver some rolls of fabric and this woman decides to park in the middle of the lot. Not even in a parking spot...she just turned off her car wherever and got out. Then she went shopping elsewhere. The trucker had to leave, so I had the car towed so he could get out and back on the road.
The next day I hear a very loud voice demanding to see a manager. He shoves a ticket in my office manager's face and says, "You're paying for this." I walk in and ask what the problem is (I'm 6'6"). He tries to get all up in my face and asks sarcastically, "Who's paying this ticket?" I got loud and replied, "You mean where I had to tow a car because they were too cheap to put a quarter in a parking meter on the street and parked in the middle of my lot?”
I was a good 10" bigger than he was...he left. Then I called the authorities and made a complaint against him for threatening behavior to my employees, just in case he tried anything funny.
29. Weak Signals
I have had to explain to a shocking number of people that cellular signals can be blocked by structures and garages and that large buildings are well known for blocking cellular signals. I have also had to explain to a shocking number of people that battery life will vary based on usage. It will drain faster while you use it and slower while it's doing nothing.
And even more surprising is that I have to explain signal performance to people who lived through having to step outside to make a call because there was no signal inside.
30. I Wanted To Throw The Book At Her
When I was in high school, I worked in the children's room of my local library. The library had an amnesty month every year. People could return overdue books for one month with no fines or fees. Of course, on the last day of amnesty month, the library was packed. People were coming in and returning bags and boxes full of books. It was an absolute mess.
I was scanning books when the phone rang. A woman called and asked if I could renew her books over the phone. If the library wasn’t crowded, I would've been able to. However, the library was packed, and people just kept dumping books on the counter, so I didn't have time to renew her books over the phone. At the time, the computer system wasn't capable of renewing a bunch of books all at once.
Therefore, if you didn't have the physical book, you had to manually enter each book's title, author, or ISBN number. I told the woman that I just didn't have time to return her books over the phone. She started yelling about how it was amnesty month, how she couldn't afford to pay her fines, and how I had to renew the books for her because she couldn't come in.
I was getting frustrated but tried to remain calm and polite. She kept yelling and cursing at me and finally said, "If you don't renew my books, I'm never coming back! You'll lose a valued customer!" To which I replied in the most epic way possible: "You're not a paying customer. The library is free. If you want your books renewed, you have to come in yourself." And then I hung up. Later, I got yelled at by my supervisor, but it was worth it.
31. I Know You Are But What Am I
My roommates and I decided to go grab some subway before we went out one Friday night. One of them is half-Ecuadorian, and the Subway employees were both Hispanic. While I was in the process of ordering my sandwich, the two workers were speaking to each other in Spanish. When it was my friend’s turn, he ordered in Spanish, which I thought was simply a gesture.
I couldn't figure out why both employees looked like ghosts and stammered their way through the entire ordering process. When I got back in the car, my friend told me the real story. He said that the two workers said, "Look at this pretty boy, pretending to be cultured. What a loser, he doesn't even know the language." At which point my friend decided to place his entire order in Spanish, and thank them at the end of the transaction.
32. Caught In A Jam
I used to work in a pancake restaurant. One day I was serving a customer, and he didn't even bother to read the menu. He asked for pancakes with some specific jam. I told him that we do not have that jam on the menu. His answer was eyebrow-raising. He said that I should go to the nearby shop and get some for him because he doesn't want to eat pancakes with anything else.
Yes, I needed to explain to an adult man that that's not how restaurants work.
33. Motherboard Mangler
I worked for a company that made computer gaming cases and accessories. A guy claimed that one of the internal fans in one of our cases caused his motherboard to explode. He shouted at me, demanding a refund for all the components he purchased. I was cool-headed and didn't yell back. I tried to understand his situation as best I could with his bad temper.
He called himself a "computer god" and said he knew our fan somehow caused it to explode. After about half an hour of putting up with his excessive shouting, he yelled at me that he was coming to our office since he lived nearby. We thought he was joking, but we were so, so wrong. A half-hour later, he stormed into our lobby and slammed his burnt-up computer on our receptionist's desk.
We noticed that it was not our computer case or fan, there were pencil shards inside the power supply, and the PCI-E power cord was jammed into the motherboard’s four-pin power port. There was also goop seeping into a few of the pin ports. We attempted to explain to him that what he brought in was not one of our products.
However, he was stubborn and insisted that it was. We even pointed out the manufacturer's website that matched the logo on his case and fan, but he still refused to believe it. After an hour or so of him shouting nonsense, we had to call the authorities. When officers arrived, the guy quieted down. They took him outside to question him about the situation, and things took another turn.
The guy immediately became furious again and started shouting complaints to the officer. After five minutes of questioning, we showed the officer that this wasn’t our product. The officer already knew the guy wasn’t exactly "stable," so he warned him to go away and not bother us anymore. The guy shouted threats and eventually drove off.
34. Checking It Twice
I was working in food service at a cash register. A customer came up and placed an order, I rang it up, and she wasn't happy with how much it cost. She started whining and being a real witch. My co-worker came up and stood next to me, looked over what I did, and just kind of stood there polishing a counter. She squawked, "Get me your manager!" I say, "Ok sure, but ma'am this is the correct price."
Co-worker standing next to me is actually the manager. He looks at the woman and goes, "Yup," and continues polishing the counter. "Buh... wha... uh... ok fine!" shouts the woman and walks away. The two of us crack up laughing.
35. Comical Explanation
I worked in a coffee-shop/bookstore. We specialized in manga and comic books, and you could either buy them or take a drink and read for as long as you wanted. Like, we didn't have any restrictions; you could read for eight hours by buying a coffee. However, I still had to explain multiple times a day that yes, you must order and pay for a drink if you want to sit and read.
There was a good library where you could go to read for free, but we were a business and needed to make money. I've had people insulting me because of this.
36. I Got Tipped Off
When I was in college, I worked at an Italian restaurant. A family of five came in and ordered appetizers, some drinks, and food. When I brought out the bill, the wife took it and paid in cash, leaving me a tip of $3 and some change on an $80 bill. The service was good, so I was pretty angry about the tip. A minute later, I noticed the husband and kids standing by the front door.
They were waiting for the wife to use the restroom. I walked up to the man, said, "Excuse me, sir, you forgot your change," and held out the $3. The husband looked at me and took me by surprise. He said, "Is that all that woman left you?" He then reached in his pocket, pulled out $30, and said, "There you go, sorry about that."
37. A Case Of Mistaken Identity
I used to work in the main office for a large chain of furniture stores in the UK. I worked in the evenings, phoning customers to let them know their furniture was in, and arranging a delivery date. One night I phoned and asked for Mr. or Mrs. Jones. The guy on the phone starts ranting to me about people phoning up his elderly parents trying to sell things.
He went on and on and on and wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise. I think he may have even used the toilet while he was ranting at me. When he finally wound down, I said, "Are you finished now sir? This is ---- Furniture and I'm phoning to arrange a delivery date for your parents’ new three-piece suite." Yup, that one shut him up completely.
38. Making A Case
I worked at an electronics store, and some lady came in to buy a charging case for her iPhone. The case has a battery that can charge your phone a couple of times. Well, she was asking what the cable inside the box was for, which was a micro USB cable. I explained that it's to charge the battery in the case. She didn't understand.
I explained that the case has a battery in it and that you need to charge up that battery. Then, your phone goes in the case and if your phone battery is low and you are out and about, you can turn on the case and it'll recharge your phone. It has enough battery capacity to charge your phone usually once. There was a long pause as I anticipated what she would say next.
She goes, "Wait so you have to charge up the case?" I say, "Yeah." She responds "Oh well, that's stupid.” So I ask, "What's stupid about that?" She says, "Well that's stupid that you have to charge it, you shouldn't need to do that." So I say: "Ma'am, if the manufacturer figured out the global solution for unlimited electricity I don't think they'd be selling phone cases."
She gave me a super-angry expression, you know the one where she thinks she's still right and stormed off.
39. He Was Bad Till The Last Drop
I went to clear a guy's glass that had about seven atoms of booze left in it. I grabbed the glass and he called me a slur and screamed. I had already moved past him when he bellowed at me again. As I began to turn around and return the drink to him, he was glaring, his face red, and he was clenching and unclenching his fist.
As I always do in this situation, I returned the glass to him and watched him pretend to "drain" it into his mouth even though there was nothing more than a microscopic patina of fluid left within it. When he held up the glass, having "finished" it, I pointedly turned away from him without taking it. That's when things immediately escalated—the glass clipped my shoulder and smashed into the wall in front of me.
The guy had just hurled the glass at me, full strength, for having the audacity not to grovel in response to his rudeness. The glass shattered with incredible force against the wall in front of me, and shards of glass went everywhere. It was a crowded balcony, and it was an absolute miracle that no one even got a minor cut. Security wrestled him out.
40. The Best Man For The Job
I was working at CompUSA a few years before they closed. A well-to-do looking gentleman and his high school-age son approached the counter and ask to return a 2.5" hard drive enclosure. I overhear him telling the girl that the enclosure was defective because his drive will not fit in it. She says that sounds unusual because we sell a lot of them and hadn't seen any returned.
Upon hearing this, he tells her in a very condescending tone that he "is an engineer and his son attends (insert expensive private school) and they could not get it to work so it must be defective." The customer service girl calls me over since she didn't really know much about computers and would rather have an "expert" look at it.
When I come over he has the drive enclosure and his hard drive sitting on the counter. I immediately notice that he never removed the OEM bracket from the original drive and that was why it wouldn't fit. I say, "I think I know what the problem is and just need to grab a screw driver." To which he responds, "If neither me or my son can figure it out, I doubt you'll be able to."
I proceed to take the bracket off and slide the drive into the enclosure in about 10 seconds all with a grin on my face. He picked it up and hurried out without saying anything or making eye contact.
41. A Server’s Regret
I’ll always regret that I made my manager do this because I honestly didn’t know what to do. An old woman came in, she didn’t look too old, probably in her early 70s, and she comes in with her daughter and grandkids. I seat them at the only open section with the only waitress who is on at the moment. That waitress happens to be Black.
After I seat them with her a few minutes later, the old lady comes up to me and asks for a non-Black waitress. As a teen, I had no clue what to do and just got my manager. Now I wish I told her how awful she was.
42. I Checked Out After This
I worked at a home improvement store. One night I found myself with a line of five or six customers, each with a sizable order. There were no more available cashiers. I was busting my butt to get everyone checked out quickly. When I got to the last person in line, I relaxed slightly and proceeded to scan all of their items.
When the lady tried to pay, she wrote out a check that had obviously been printed at home. It wasn't necessarily fake, but we had a policy not to accept computer-printed checks. I told the lady such, and she threw a fit. She started yelling at me. She told me that she had to leave because she was already 30 minutes late to pick her children up in a town that was 30 minutes away.
She accused me of deliberately slowing down and scanning her items as slowly as possible. I tried to calm her down. She didn't. She was absolutely raging. She said, "Don't you know who I am? You'll never work in this town again!" She yelled at me to get my manager because I still wouldn't accept her check. The newer assistant manager came up and told me to go ahead and take the check.
I tried to remind her of the store's policy. She then talked to the lady in front of the store for another five minutes or so. After that, the manager came back, gave me a look, and went back to her office. She promptly came back with a slip telling me that she had written me up. I quit not long after.
43. Too Good To Be True
A well-dressed business passenger bought a plane ticket on Continental from Indianapolis to Manchester. There are no direct flights, so he would have to connect in Newark, New Jersey. After arriving, he strolls over to the Manchester gate and sees a small 50 pax regional jet parked outside. He thinks nothing of it and boards the airplane a while later.
After taking his seat, and just prior to the boarding door being closed, the flight attendant makes an announcement: "Welcome aboard flight #### service to Manchester, NEW HAMPSHIRE!" This guy goes completely wild. He starts scrambling to get his things and get off the plane, all the while yelling at the flight attendant, gate agent, pilots, and other passengers.
He was trying to go to Manchester in the UK (airport code of MAN) and he bought a ticket for MHT. The gate agent was getting completely verbally harassed by the guy at the podium as she tried to rebook him to the proper destination. She took it all in stride and was really trying to help the guy even though he was being a complete jerk and going on and on about how it was a mistake in the computer.
And then she saw how much he paid for the ticket. Her exact words were: "You only paid 300 dollars for your ticket and you really thought that was going to get you to England?" He was quiet after that.
44. Smoke Signals
I had to explain to a customer that toilet paper rolls shouldn't be returned to a store because it was not a decent thing to do. Oh, but it got grosser. She had used them all. I also had to explain to this same woman that the disabled staff member who couldn't talk didn't intend to scare or offend her by making noises at her and smiling.
45. Girls Gone Wild
Back in high school, I was delivering pizza. I got this delivery about an hour before closing. I pulled up to this house, and four girls answered the door. They were about 14 to 16 years old, and I had just turned 18 at the time. They started flirting with me. I was pretty shy back then, so I just smiled, handed them their pizza, and waited for them to get their money.
They came back with a check but no tip. One of the girls said, “Wait, let us get your tip.” They came back with a huge jar of change, and what they did next completely disgusted me. Three of the girls took out a handful of change; the fourth one grabbed my belt and started to pull me in the door while the other three put change into my pockets and down my shorts.
I broke loose from the one holding my belt, and they just started grabbing at my shorts. They were all giggling, change was going everywhere, and I heard a man's voice say, “What are you girls doing?” One of them said, “Nothing, daddy.” I freaked out, ripped their hands off of me, and ran back to my car. However, my shorts started falling off due to the weight of the change.
I got in my car when I saw the dad was walking towards my car. I got out of there ASAP. On the way back I called my manager, to warn him about what had just happened. He ended up having to give these people free pizza due to my supposed harassment of the girls. He also had to tell the guy I would be fired.
46. Ironing Out The Details
I work at Ikea in Customer Service. On a daily basis, we have customers come in with items that have been used, broken, old, without their receipt, some even not Ikea products, and they are DEMANDING a refund. But the couple that really takes the cake tried to return to me a broken and rusty ironing board. It was obviously used and without a receipt I'm limited with my options.
We can only offer store credit if the item can be returned to stock in original packaging. Obviously, it wasn't. With a receipt you have 90 days to return your item in any condition. After I refused the return, they asked for my manager. My manager offered to look up their receipt, couldn't find it so we couldn't take it back. They then asked for her manager.
Every time they got a “no” they asked for the manager above. Eventually it got to our store manager. They quickly found out they’d messed with the wrong guy. This manager is a BOSSS, 6'5", hulk-like, and Swedish; he started as a cashier and made his way up literally from the bottom to owning the store. He came on down to the belligerent couple who were causing a scene because our customer service was apparently SOOOO poor.
After inspecting the item and removing their iron cover (which none of us did before, the item was that appalling we really didn't want to touch it) he finds the date stamp. It was from 2002. The couple got real silent because the entire time they said they've had it for less than three months. Our store manager said in the calmest voice I have ever heard in my life, "I think it's about time you leave my store."
47. Key Conspiracy
I live in France. Here we use AZERTY keyboards instead of QWERTY. That's just how it is and it's been like that for decades. I had to explain to some foreign dude that no, unfortunately, we did not have any QWERTY keyboards in stock, but he could order one online and that no, it wasn't a conspiracy. He started shouting in the store that this was an attack on human rights and brainwashing.
48. He Sang The Wrong Tune
I worked at a small electronics retail store when I was in high school. A guy had come in asking me to give him a quote for a couple of different karaoke players. One was $249, and the other was $374. I gave him both a printed and verbal price quote. He came in the next day with his family and talked to one of my co-workers, who proceeded to tell him the same thing I told him the day before.
His eyes widened, and he blew into this raging fit. I was stocking CDs when he pointed at me and shouted, "HE SAID IT WAS $249 and $274 YESTERDAY! HOW CAN YOU FORGET THE DARN PRICE! IT'S NOT LIKE YOU SELL MANY THINGS IN THIS DARN STORE. I WORK AT COMCAST, AND I GET MY PRICES RIGHT ALL THE TIME! IT'S NOT RIGHT!" My manager knew I could not have made such a stupid mistake, and the written quote proved it.
She still told the guy that "people make mistakes" and "maybe one of us misheard each other." The guy kept going on about how staff should be properly trained in a store with such little inventory. At that point, his wife was mouthing apologies to my manager. My manager quietly told him to take his business elsewhere, and he stormed out.
49. Too Big For His Britches
I worked at the local CVS for a summer back in college. I was at the register one night when a lanky teenager came up carrying four different boxes of condoms. He put them on the counter, produced a receipt, and asked for a refund. I noticed that each of the boxes had been opened. I told him we couldn't refund the items given that he had opened them.
He looked me straight in the eyes and said seriously that he had tried one condom from each of the boxes and that none of them fit because they were too big. I didn't know what to say to that except that we definitely could not give him a refund. Without any embarrassment he scooped up the boxes and left. They were all "XXL," "magnum," and "plus-size" brands of condoms.
50. That’s A Stretch
I had to explain to an adult woman that the rubber bands that were accidentally left on her lobster's claws were indeed not edible. I had assured her that they were safe for the food, you just couldn’t eat them. Not a minute later, I was called back after she attempted to eat said bands. Her teenage child just stared at her like she had three heads.
51. She Was No Bed of Roses
I worked at a small, family-owned pizza place in the suburbs that was fairly popular. For some reason, Mother's Day was a BIG day for this place, and as a thank you to the moms, we were supposed to give every mother, grandmother, or special woman a rose with their dinner.
One Mother’s Day, I opened the restaurant with only one other server, two cooks, and no highchairs or tablecloths because a sister restaurant had borrowed them.
I hadn’t had a food break, so by the end of my seven-hour shift, I was pretty beat. I had a table of two adults, who seemed totally pleasant and lovely...until I brought them their check. The woman looked at me and asked why so many people had roses. I explained the whole Mother's Day thing, and she got a look of total rage on her face. Her response was totally unexpected: "How rude of you to assume we don't have kids!"
It had honestly slipped my mind to ask. She continued, "I can't believe you would be so horrible! I want to talk to your manager." At that point, she started yelling loudly, and people were staring. I apologized to her and got my manager. He tried to appease her, but she started yelling how she wanted their meal comped.
My boss wouldn't comp anyone's meal short of it coming out on fire or something extreme, so he politely refused. He offered to comp their drinks, but that's it since I had apologized and didn't mean to be so thoughtless. I brought her a rose and apologized again, but she just wouldn't let go of her hatred. She proceeded to throw it back at me and declared she didn’t want it. She said that they were leaving and never coming back.
She stormed out, leaving her husband behind to pay the bill. He paid it and left me no tip, pointedly telling me that I had completely ruined Mother's Day for his wife. He said he hoped I was happy being a worthless person and that he would call the owner and tell him just what a horrible waitress I was. I spent the rest of my shift crying in the back hallway between serving tables, convinced I was going to be fired.
52. That Took A Turn
I used to be a low level manager in a call centre, it paid the bills…anyway, a customer had called us and been perfectly pleasant, giving us his account details, and business got underway. At the end of the call, he asked for one more thing that we couldn't have done, and was informed of this. He immediately got extremely aggressive with my member of staff.
At this point her hand shot up in the air (cue me) and she handed over the headset and chair so I could view the details. I was called a bunch of names, and then we got down to the grand finale. The threat. I'm paraphrasing but here's how it went: Him: “Listen, I can see your company's address on your website, I'm going to come down there and mess you up.”
Me: “Good, you gave my colleague your name and address details first then, I'll make sure to hand them over to the authorities somewhere in the few hours it's going to take you to drive down here. We'll be waiting.” Dial tone
53. Future Karen?
I worked furniture retail over 20 years ago before we had a name for "Karen," but they certainly existed. I had to explain, slowly like I was talking to a child, to a grown woman that she could not return her glass-top patio table that she left out all winter. The glass top was smashed, swept up, and put into a box that was now in front of me.
She couldn't fathom why I was saying no. She had kids with her watching this behavior. Future Karens.
54. Petty Princesses
Three girls came in a few hours before our dining area was about to close. They were all in their 20s and they looked prissy. Even though I had just finished a long day, I toiled for a good two hours, getting them food and drinks. I was kind to them, tried to crack a few jokes, and made them feel at home. It was rearing down to the last half hour, so I let them know that our dining area was closed, but they could feel free to move to the bar.
A half an hour later, I realized that they had no intention of doing so, so as the cook left and the lights were dimmed, it was just me watching these girls and bringing them drinks. At this point, it was about 11:30 pm, and I was tired. However, we are expected to stay and serve until the last group lets out. The three girls were joined by their two friends, who promptly ordered drinks even though we had already closed the dining area.
They finally called me over to let me know they were ready to pay. This is when they really got on my nerves. Their bill was over $50, and they paid with a credit card. When I got the receipt back from them, next to the tip was written $0.45. I was so furious I wanted to smack them all. I expect that kind of behavior from kids who only have a few quarters in their pockets, but not from five 20-somethings with credit cards and designer purses.
55. Getting To Know You
My folks used to own a Tastee Freez in South Carolina and I worked in it most summers as a teenager. Since it was a small town, everyone knew each other and most went to the same church. One Sunday night, one of the ladies from church called in at about five minutes after 10:00 and tried to order a 20 piece chicken nugget, and when I informed her that we closed at 10:00 and the grill and fryers were already cleaned and closed for the night, she got irate with me.
She started yelling in my ear about how she knew the owners of the place and she was going to get me fired and did she know who I was talking to. I calmly replied that yes, Mrs. Greene, I knew exactly who I was talking to, since my parents and I lived right across the street from her and she had asked us in church that morning what time we closed for the night.
We were never on speaking terms again.
56. On Thin Ice
I teach kids to ice skate. Parents are asked out of the rink once the kids are ready. A parent of a two-year-old insists that they cannot leave their child alone. I explained that the coaches are here to help and look after the child, but the parent just kept repeating, “I will not be leaving him, he is unable to walk.”
Come on! Why do you sign up your two-year-old for skating if your child is unable to walk on normal land, let alone with skates on? I didn’t think I’d have to have this conversation with an adult. Multiple times.
57. Their Attitudes Were Out Of Focus
I used to work at a camera store. I had customers who would come in, listen to my assessment of their camera's problems, and then ask to speak to a male salesperson instead. The men would then tell them exactly the same thing I said. I guess it's just easier to believe a man knows how cameras work than a silly little woman.
58. The Honey Trap
I used to work in a Deli restaurant, and this lady comes in and rudely orders her food. I told her that everything should come out all right and that I will double check for her to make sure her order would be correct. She insisted on getting LOTS of honey mustard on her sandwich. I typed in extra honey mustard on the ticket. Sure enough her order comes out and there seemed to be plenty of honey mustard there.
But when I deliver it she yells at me for not having the extra honey mustard I promised her and told me to "get a ton more honey mustard" for her. I go to the back of the store, get an entire new gallon jug of honey mustard, and plop it on her table. Her friends were laughing and she was steaming mad. She complained to the manager, who thought it was hilarious and actually laughed in her face.
59. Loonies, No Greenbacks
That this is Canada and we do not take US cash in exchange for goods at our store, despite being a US-based multinational brand. I never thought someone would scream so hard and so close to my face that my hair blew back. It was a surprising exchange that I still think about 15 years later. Ma'am, we are a different country entirely.
60. What’s Wrong With My Money-Eh?
I was working the register during a fairly normal Sunday morning. After ringing up this guy's subs, he tried to pay with Canadian money, while the shop we were in was in the United States. I refused the foreign currency, and the guy threw a hissy fit. I tried to calm him down, and he started ranting about everything that could be ranted about. He knocked over the cookie rack and left. The other customer in the line left me a few dollars as a tip and made sure to tell me it was the correct currency.
61. The Human Touch
I used to work as a croupier at clubs, and during a shift change my colleague accidentally made a wrong payment to a playing customer. Gamblers being what they are, the complaining that ensued was pretty awkward and no matter how much my colleague said he was sorry, the customer kept on wining. Finally, I just had to take over the situation with the perfect reply.
I said: "Sir, people make mistakes, we are not robots. If you want to play with machines, there are slot machines in the other bar." He shut up and the other players seemed relieved.
62. “Don’t Throw A Fit”
That when I tell you we are out of stock, it means there is zero inventory. There isn’t some magical special inventory we keep for special customers who complain and dance around the subject. No matter how much you try to weasel it out of me, we don’t have it! So tired of having to explain to adults, you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.
63. This Customer Got Served
I worked as a supervisor for a company that sold party stuff and costumes. A lady called in, and the call escalated to me. While I was on the phone with her, she told her kids to get a good education so they wouldn’t end up working in customer service. I handled this in the pettiest way I knew how to—by conducting the entire rest of the conversation using the highest vocabulary level I was capable of. She wasn't exceptionally bright and could not understand what I was saying.
It wasn't too extreme. Probably the most complicated term I used was “fiduciary capacity.” She explained that she was confused by the words I was using. So, I suddenly went from being extremely patronizing and asked her. “Is perhaps someone there that might be better able to understand the nuances of returning an order, like perhaps your husband or a parent? Do you have any neighbors that might be able to explain things to you, or perhaps a social worker?" She was mortified.
64. They Grow Up So Fast
I worked in electronics at Target at the time, although it wasn't the customer who suddenly shut up, it was me. This was around 2004, when GTA: San Andreas just came out. An older woman walks up to the electronics desk and addresses me. Customer: “I’d like to buy Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.” Me: “Is this a gift for someone?” Customer: “Yes, this is for my 4-year-old grandson.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, just to let you know, this game has been rated ‘M’ for Mature, and has a lot of violence, profanity, drug use, and other adult content.” Customer: “That’s okay, he’s already been exposed to all that…”
65. Bad Vibes
While I worked at Wal-Mart, a middle-aged couple danced around me in the aisle I was stocking for a good five minutes before the guy just straight-up asked me where he could find the batteries for his vibrator. His wife was hiding around the corner. I calmly asked, well what kind of batteries does it take? He looked at me with shame and told me he didn't know.
I then asked if they had brought the vibrator with them so we could take the batteries out to see. For my sake, they hadn't brought it in with them. I suggested they go home and open it and find out what kind it needed. I also suggested maybe a hearing aid battery or watch battery because I had never used a vibrator before and didn't know what they needed.
They went away yelling at each other for not opening it up to see what it needed.
66. She Was Half-Baked
When I was in high school, I worked at a supermarket bakery. A woman came in and started looking at the pastry case. I came over and asked if she needed help, and she looked at me and smiled. Then her smile changed to a look of pure horror. I got scared that maybe there was a spider on my face or something and asked, "What?"
She demanded that someone else help her. I thought, fine; she is just kooky, and I'll get someone else. After she got her pastries, she walked right over to the store manager, and I could see her pointing at me. After a few minutes, she left, and the manager came over to me. I knew I was in trouble. He said the woman had told her that I walked right up to her and said, "What do you want?" in an angry tone.
She also said that I refused to help her and insulted her children and her parenting skills. The manager let me know that he knew I hadn't done that because SHE DIDN'T HAVE KIDS WITH HER. Of course, she had demanded I be fired, and when the manager said he wouldn't fire me, he had to appease her with free merchandise and coupons.
67. Out Of Pocket
I worked at a pharmacy as a technician. This patient brings in a prescription for a very expensive, name brand only drug, but has good insurance. I fill it and the patient causes a scene at the cash register because the copayment is 30 dollars instead of the usual 10 that the patient pays for generic drugs. The patient whines and moans about the "broken healthcare system" and “those insurance companies."
I inform the patient that, without insurance, the drug would cost her thousands of dollars every year out of pocket. Patient then proceeds to shut up.
68. Mean Business
Too many times I need to explain the basics of business to grown adults. For example, to process a return, you need either the receipt or the physical product with you. Realistically, you should have both. If it’s just the receipt, you could have just kept the “defective” item. If it’s just the item, you could have stolen it or bought an identical thing at a cheaper retailer.
Most stores are fairly lenient with this because they don’t want trouble, and most customers are at least 60% honest. You can’t just go up to a register and say, “I bought some produce here and they went bad too fast. I don’t know what they’re called or how much I paid, I want a refund.” Beyond that, people think that the absolute basics of a business are a “scam” when they first start figuring out that what we charge for items is more than what we pay the farmer or factory or artist.
When customers at stores or restaurants “do the math” themselves, they are constantly thinking things like, “I can make this dish for $5 at home if I also use my existing pantry staples, why is it $22 at the fancy gastropub?” or “I can get yarn at JoAnn’s for $7, why does this sweater cost $40?” They usually come to the extremely wrong conclusion “You just want to make money!”
Yeah, we do. In addition to the 900 other things that create higher costs for consumer goods other than raw materials, yes, businesses want to make a profit. And it’s impossible to explain that to an infuriated customer in a polite way. Once a customer starts saying that “big businesses only want to make money,” the only way to answer their questions is both involved and extremely condescending. Turns out the response is not to answer their concerns at all.
69. No Cents In Figuring This Out
I was serving a table with two people—one was a woman, and the other was a person whose gender I couldn’t quite determine. I took the woman's order and turned to the person of indeterminate gender, and they said nothing. Not a word. I asked, “And what can I get for you?” I waited, but there was no answer. I figured I had a 50/50 shot, so I said, “Sir?”
That was a huge mistake on my part—it was a woman, and now she was angry. She proceeded to tell me just how awful a person I was. They stayed for the whole meal, saying terrible things to me the entire time. They tipped me six cents—in pennies. The girl I was working with that night had been into Wal-Mart and told me that the same woman worked there in the women’s clothing section. So, we went, took clothes off the hangers, and put the six pennies she left me on her fitting room desk.
70. A Taste Of Their Own Medicine
Once upon a time, I worked at a Kinko's, which is famous for having irate customers. But we had a secret weapon to deal with jerks. We had a guy on our shift with honest to goodness Tourette's where he would tic and swear loudly, then continue the conversation. We found that if we told the irate customer that he'd have to "talk to the supervisor," then send up Mr. Tourette, they'd be shut up by having someone swear in their face.
I think it just shocked them out of their panties-in-a-bunch state. Worked great.
71. Taking The Temperature
I never thought anybody would need to be told “Yes, the ice cream cake, made only of ice cream, has to be kept in the freezer. No, the refrigerator won’t suffice. It will melt.” This has happened many times over the years.
Unsplash
72. The Calm Before The Storm
I was a cashier at Walmart, working the late shift. It was around midnight, and the store was pretty empty. An Amish family came through my line. They bought a lot of groceries, and the total was well over $200. When it was time to pay, his credit card was rejected. Upset, he asked me to try it again, so I did. No dice. At that point, he started taking out his frustration...on me. the guy started yelling at me, telling me that I must be doing something wrong.
My manager, who had been watching the whole thing unfold, stepped over to the man and tried to calm him down. The guy wasn't having any of it, and I just stood there helplessly as I watched him get angrier. He was in my manager's face screaming at him and calling us all idiots. The next thing I knew, this Amish dude punched my manager right in the face.
They started brawling, and his wife and daughters were horrified, screaming at their dad to stop, one of them began crying. My manager's glasses flew off his face at one point. Finally, security came and broke it up. They held down the guy until he was tired of fighting. The authorities showed up not too long after. A stocker had to come and put all of those groceries away.
73. Don’t Keep Me Hanging
I worked at a hotel front desk in a ski resort in Lake Tahoe. People would call (with disturbing frequency) several MONTHS in advance of their reservation to ask: "Is it going to be SNOWING the day I drive up on April 5th?" The best solution was to say, "Hold on, let me check" and then the staff would take cockfight-style bets on how long the customer would sit on hold before they gave up. Sometimes it would be like 15 minutes.
74. When Pigs, And Buffalo, Fly
No madam, the buffalo wings are not real buffalo.
75. In-Flight Meal
I used to work at a Papa John’s Pizza. One day, this crazy lady came in and ordered a pizza. When asked if she wanted another one for half price, she flat out refused, paid, and left to go to the shop next door. I thought that was the end of it, but I was wrong—Ten minutes later, she was back, moaning that she didn't get a second pizza. She said that she had ordered one, which she hadn't. I was chopping a pizza on the table when a pizza box came flying through the air. It opened up mid-flight, and I got a whole scalding hot pizza down my front.
76. Sticker Shock
I work at CVS. Items are usually marked up higher than places like Target or any supermarket. One customer comes in and buys some useless item. When she sees that it's $10.99 or something similar, she goes off at me. "YOU CAN'T LIE TO ME ABOUT THAT PRICE. THAT IS $6.99 AT TARGET THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN TELL ME THAT'S $10.99!" All I could say was, "Well if you really want to pay $6.99 for it, then go to Target." She got the heck out of there.
77. In A Puddle
A customer once stood in a puddle that was outside our store and asked me what I was going to do about it. I had to explain to him that I do not control the weather and I can’t make it stop raining or get rid of the puddle.
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78. This Woman Needs To Get Carted Out
When I was a kid, I worked at a local grocery store. I had to bag groceries and help people take them to their cars. This notoriously rude woman would always come into our store and treat everyone like trash. One day, I had to help her take out her groceries. It was pouring rain out, so she ran to her car, jumped inside, and popped her trunk without saying a word to me.
So, I loaded up her car while getting soaking wet, and I brought the buggy back to the lock-up. I figured she had left by that point, so I pocketed the quarter from the cart like I always did. As I walked back into the store, I heard a car horn BLARING behind me. I turned around and saw the woman still parked there, honking her horn and flashing her lights.
Once she had my attention, she stuck her hand out her car window with her palm facing the sky, wanting her quarterback. So I took the quarter out of my pocket and tossed it as hard as I could right at her windshield, and went back inside. I was shocked she didn't come back inside to chew me out. She had made a few cashiers cry in the past.
79. Crossing A Line
I work at Best Buy in the warehouse, and we cover breaks for the guys working the cameras up front. A co-worker was covering a break when this guy came up to one of the front lane registers. There was a bit of a line and we only had two lanes open. One of the front lane guys is handicapped. It doesn't affect his job, it just takes him longer to walk around.
The customer finally made his way to the front of the line and paid with a credit card. The front lane rep needed to see the last 4 digits of the credit card and asked to see his card "real quick." The customer FLIPPED OUT. He said, "Oh NOW you want to do something real quick." Then he muttered just loud enough for everyone to hear: "I should have known not to get in the short bus line."
My co-worker who was observing the cameras saw everything and was not very happy. He walked up to the customer, grabbed all his merchandise, and said, "Nope, you're not buying anything today. You can leave." Never been so proud of him.
80. Top Three
Here are my top three retail experiences: 1) Yes, the can of Crisco has a picture of crispy fried chicken on it. No, the can does not contain crispy fried chicken. 2) No, birth control pills are not 100% effective. This was explained to a woman quite near her delivery. And 3) No, we don't have fans that only blow cold air. I'm sure I could come up with lots more, but these are the first three that come to mind.
81. Can’t Touch This
I used to work the late shift at a bar on Friday and Saturday nights. I had several tattoos, one being on my chest. This guy came in with his girlfriend. I walked up to the table to get their drink orders, and he noticed the tattoo on my chest. He asked me what it was, but before I could even say anything, he did the most abhorrent thing—he sat up and proceeded to try and rip my shirt open!
I jumped back and told him if he touched me again, he would be out of there. I stood about five feet back from that table for the rest of the night.
82. Can’t Defy Physics
I work at Toys R Us. That should be bad enough. But for a specific story, I worked the back of house. Those are the guys who bring down bicycles, power wheels, and other large items that are purchased from the back of the store up front to the customer. This one time, this man purchased a large power wheel (Barbie Jammin' Jeep '08 model I believe).
When I brought it out, I see the customer standing next to his car. A small, two-door Nissan. I immediately inform the man that the box will not fit in his car, and that we can hold it for him if he wished to come back later with a larger vehicle. He said that wouldn't work; he had to get the jeep now because he's been searching for weeks for it. I again tell him how the box is larger than his car and it will not fit.
He tells me that's bull and has me attempt to load the car into the trunk, then the front seat. After 20 failed minutes, I tell the man I can no longer spend time on this. I tell him I can write down his information, put the jeep on hold, and wait for him to return with a different car. He says he's going to continue to try and put it in his car. I leave him be and resume my work.
About a half hour later, I get a call from the customer service desk that I have to bring a returned jeep back to the storage area.
83. Sob Story
In a couple of different lines of business, I've had women start to give me the "I'm a single mom" sob story. I have the perfect response. I say enthusiastically "I am, too!" and you can see the wind go right out of their sails. Yeah, I'm not going to cut them a deal out of pity.
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84. Blockbuster Blowout
I worked at a small Blockbuster Video, so we knew the regulars pretty well. One busy night, we had a large group of thug-looking guys show up who I had never seen before. Luckily, as the manager, I had to deal with them. They were incredibly loud and obnoxious. They were the type of customer you knew would be a problem before they even utter a sound.
They cut to the front of the line to say they wanted to rent a bunch of movies. Fine. The account wasn’t in any of their names, but we could work around that. None of them had any sort of ID. I informed them that to rent, especially on an account that is not theirs, they have to have some kind of valid ID. I told them that I would hold their movies for them if they wanted to grab some ID.
They freaked out and puffed out their chests, looking for a fight. As luck would have it, the salesperson next to me was letting an old lady rent on her daughter's account without the old lady having any ID. The guys picked up on this, and it set them off even more. They began yelling and screaming at all of us, telling us how discriminatory we were.
I informed them that the sales rep had made a mistake and should not have rented to the lady, but it was too late, and I would not let them rent. After threatening to call the authorities, they left the store. Minutes later, as the same sales rep was pulling movies out of the dropbox, the plate glass in the front of the store by the dropbox shattered.
Glass flew all over the checkout desk. The sales rep got cut up to the point where his hands were bleeding steadily. We looked out the window and saw the guys piling into a truck and leaving the parking lot. At this point, I began a search and saw that nothing had entered the store, so whatever broke the window was still outside.
After getting things settled, we closed the store and waited for the authorities. While waiting, I looked outside. There was a well-kept lawn with no rocks or loose objects. The shape of the hole in the glass made it look like something hit it straight on, leading me to think that the guy who broke the glass more than likely did it with his fist.
85. A Little Sunday Shopping
I used to work at Home Depot over the summer as a cashier. The very best was the woman who came up to my line with a cart that had only a single small box of nails. Odd, I thought, but maybe she just didn't find what she needed the cart for. So I ring her up and she says, "Well what about the rest of my order? I need 800 lbs of Quickcrete, 50 10' 2x4s, ten 8' 4x4s...”
She starts reading off all of the ingredients she needs to make a massive deck, or a dock, or something. She then asks me sweetly if I'll help her get them while she waits in line, holding up the 10 people behind her while I pull an entire back yard's worth of lumber and concrete out for her. I told her we couldn't do that, and gave her the number to call to have her order pulled.
She freaked out. Spent about 20 minutes screaming at me, even after I called the head cashier and had him handle her. See, she would run over to my lane while I was with other customers to tell me how "unprofessional" I was being, and that this is why everyone goes to Lowe's nowadays, because there they care about the customer.
86. Tough To Swallow
I once picked up my prescription for an anti-emetic and the pharmacist gave me suppositories. My prescription was for pills. The pharmacist insisted that's what my doctor ordered. I pointed to the label that specified to take one by mouth every four hours as needed. She still insisted she was correct and my doctor intended for me to swallow a suppository every four hours.
87. She Was A Whiner
I worked a 13-hour shift catering to more than 6,000 people—all bankers and their families. Towards the end of my shift, I was going around collecting all the glasses from the tables. I reached forward and picked up the glass sitting in front of an unhappy-looking granny figure. Her head snapped up, and she started shouting that she hadn't finished her drink.
When I offered it back to her, she claimed that I had touched it with my fingers, so I offered to get her another glass of red. She agreed. So I brought it over and set it down in front of her, smiling amicably. But no smile could appease her—she started shouting again, this time that I had taken too long to get her drink and that she wanted to talk to my supervisor.
I walked around to look for one, but they were all busy working. Hence, I came back and told her that they would come and see her as soon as they could. Without a word of warning, the old woman threw the contents of her glass at me.
88. Dedicated To The Game
I was working in an indie model/wargame/TCG shop. A group of kids around 13 years old turn up after school to play Yu-Gi-Oh inside. As their game drags on, one kid asks us where the toilets are. We direct him to the bus station, but he complains about the 30-second walk. He remains playing. Suddenly, we hear laughter from this kid and a pool of moisture forming down his trouser leg and onto our carpet.
My boss and I stare in utter disbelief as this kid shakes his leg, and remains playing his card game. Boss goes crazy and forces the kid to clean the carpet before banning him for a week. Kid returns next week to the nickname Wazzers.
89. Any Port In A Storm
Customer: "The package carrier says they delayed my package due to a hurricane! I paid for overnight shipping! Your company is trash." Me: “Sir, we didn't delay your package. The carrier is a different company. And there is a literal hurricane over the distribution center.”
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90. He Was A Dog-Gone Pain
I used to work at an office that had an obnoxious guy come in. We openly advertise that we offer free water and coffee/tea to our customers, as we have a huge fridge at the reception and a coffee machine just behind it. He walked in demanding to speak with the most senior person. Unfortunately, that was me. He sat down, and I came over to introduce myself.
He straightaway handed me his coat to hang up without even saying anything. That was his first strike. Then, as I went to go behind the reception desk to hang up his jacket, I heard a whistle. I didn’t think too much of it as I was trying to make room for his coat. Then I heard it again, along with a click of his fingers.
I turned around and saw this guy beckoning me over, and now he had my attention. He said, “Oh, and I wouldn't mind a cappuccino while you're up.” I stormed over, gave him back his coat, and ushered him out the front door. He demanded to know what was going on, so I told him, “If you are looking for your dog, you ain't gonna find it here.”
The look on his face was priceless. The complaint that came in afterward was hilarious, and my telling him off was completely worth it.
91. Extra, Extra, Read All About It
During high school, I worked at a Burger King. There was this one woman who would always come into drive thru during the afternoon and ask for a Whopper Jr with extra onions. And I mean, a LOT of extra onions. And no matter how many we put in, she always came into the store and complained that there weren't enough. Still, this was in the middle of the afternoon, so we didn't care.
However, one day, we had four buses full of US Army enlistees at the store at the same time. Convoys of chartered buses would go by periodically, and they usually stopped at our store because the bus drivers knew my boss. Now, these people were always the nicest, most respectful people you can possibly imagine, which was a welcome change after dealing with jerks the whole day.
They also always ordered a ton of food—all king-size, tons of double and triple whoppers, the whole nine yards. My boss would always have me give them the "senior discount" (15% off), and they enjoyed that immensely, because it said that they were getting a senior discount on their receipts. Anyways, nice as they were, they strained our store to the limit because they ordered so much food.
So we were almost literally going hammer and tongs to keep up, and then the worst happens. Onion woman comes into drive thru. My boss told me to just grab two handfuls of onions and put them on the sandwich, because she didn't need a scene when we were as far behind as we were. I could barely close the burger because of the onions, but I managed it and we gave it to her.
Now remember, the store is completely full of US Army enlistees. They probably have not had fast food for weeks (I think they were going from boot camp to get their first assignments). And the line was out the door. So onion woman pushes her way past all of these people, rudely shoving them out of her way, and comes up to the counter screaming that she didn't have enough onions.
My boss is angry, so she takes the sandwich, hands it to me, and tells me to do whatever I want with it. I knew just what to do. I dumped the ENTIRE TUB of onions on this (probably about 1.5 LITERS of onions), and wrapped it up really, REALLY tight, and taped it shut (Note that the wrappers were somewhat elastic...). My boss hands it to the woman, and she opens it right on the counter to "make sure we have enough" even though it's like six times bigger than normal.
The thing EXPLODED ALL OVER. SO freaking awesome. All the guys trying not to laugh. One of their officers (a quite young 1st Lt.) was waiting by the counter for his food, and finally he just gave up and started laughing his butt off. The men took this as a cue, and she had about 250 men dying laughing at her.
One of the best days of my high school life. She didn't come back for a month, and she never, EVER complained about not having enough onions.
92. A Pain In The Rear
As a pharmacist, I had to explain to a man that you need to take the suppositories out of their foil packaging before you use them. He complained that they didn't work and were uncomfortable. I bet they were.
93. This Was Not A Barrel Of Laughs
There were two gay guys who worked at a Cracker Barrel in the deep South with me. None of the staff had any problem with them; they were just ordinary guys who happened to be attracted to other men. The managers were sort of prejudiced, though, and didn't like them. One day, two regulars came in to eat.
These regulars were notorious for requesting a million things before the meal even got there. They were annoying, but at least they tipped decently. One of the gay guys accidentally told the regulars something about his boyfriend. They went ballistic and asked him if he was gay. He told them he was. Then, one of the two regulars grabbed his hand and forced him to sit at the table. They then crossed the line—they proceeded to lecture him for about a half-hour about how he was going to the underworld for eternity.
I was watching this from another dining room and could not help him out because we were swamped. So, I got my girlfriend to help cover his tables because every time he told them he had to go, the man would grab his arm and physically force him to stay put. I finally got the manager, who simply said, “Well, he needs to hear this stuff anyway." and refused to do anything about it.
Eventually, after about a half-hour, once the regulars realized they couldn't convince him to give up his "sinful" ways, they said, "Well, we're going to need back every tip we ever gave you. It's okay if you can't remember exactly how much; just give us back an approximate amount. I think $200 should cover it. We can't be supporting the gays."
94. Wet And Wild
I used to work in Best Buy services. It was sort of like Geek Squad before Geek Squad and it dealt with everything like TVs and VCRs and junk. One day we had a guy come in and complain about his little video camera not working. I agree to take a look at it even though there's not much I can do but send it back to the manufacturer for him.
It will take some time, but that was 90% of the problem people had with services. Naturally, this guy wants a new one on the spot and he starts getting REALLY loud about it. So I call the manager. While I'm waiting for them to come up, I'm still tinkering with the camera in the back. I get some tools out and, hey, look I got the thing open for the guy. When I saw what was on it, I knew we had him.
A minute or so later I come back out when the manager gets there. The manager is talking to the guy as I move a computer up to the counter. I jump in and say, "Hey, I don't think we should give this guy a new unit." The guy gives me dagger eyes and the manager is like, "Oh? why's that?" Then I play the footage of what is unmistakably someone running around a pool, dropping the camera, which tumbles into the pool.
He had taken out the tape but it was recorded to the memory stick. Guy takes his camera and quietly leaves the store.
95. No Book Smarts
No, the library does not stock every book in existence.
96. He Was A Regular Creep
I had a repeat customer who started watching me for hours at a time as I worked. He walked over to me one day, told me how beautiful I was, and asked about my love life. I decided to transfer to another store when he started asking me to come over to his place for the weekend because he would be alone. When he found out I was leaving, he did something I'll never forget—he grabbed my hair and started to cry.
97. If The Shoe Doesn’t Fit…
I work in a shoe shop. One of the services we supply is to check how well school shoes fit on our younger customers. Once a staff member has signed to say they are a good fit, the customer is able to bring them back if there are any problems. This one time, a mother came back in with her son a week after being fitted with a pair, loudly mouthing off that the shoes were too tight and causing blisters.
Even though she was being a psycho about it, we offered to get her a new pair. Once back in the kids department, she spotted the girl who fitted the original shoes and went crazy at her, demanding that the girl should be there while a better pair was fitted so she wouldn't make the same mistake again. Despite the mom saying some pretty degrading stuff about her, the girl agreed to sit in on the re-fit in an attempt to help out.
She remembered the customer, even to the point of remembering the child’s name, and was visibly upset about doing a bad job. Returning to the till, the fitter offered to put the exchange through as a final gesture of goodwill. She then froze, realization dawning on her. "These aren't your sons shoes" she said to the customer. They have a name tag inside saying Tommy, and your son’s name is Billy.
Turns out the kid had swapped his shoes with another boy in his class. Laughed that witch out of the shop.
98. No Connection
A very grumpy high-society woman came to the store saying her brand new 3,000-dollar Microsoft surface bought by her husband was defective because she could not get internet when she was on the move. I quickly realized she was talking about Wi-Fi, so I tried explaining to her how Wi-Fi actually works. Boy, was that a mistake!
I told her that she could not use her Wi-Fi outside her house, but that she could share her smartphone internet connection. She would have none of it. She said I was lying to her and making fun of her. She even asked to speak to my manager, who then proceeded to tell her the exact same thing, almost to the word. She left screaming.
99. What A Hot Head
I was working at a restaurant when a nice-looking family of four came in. The parents ordered a sizzling fajita plate for two. When I brought out the fajitas on the skillet, they were sizzling like they are supposed to be. That wasn't hot enough for them. They asked me to go back and make them hotter. So, I took it back to the kitchen where the kitchen manager decided to pull out a blow torch.
He heated the iron skillet up to burning red, then threw the fajitas back on the skillet and sent me back out with them to the table. The father at the table was not very pleased with the profuse amounts of smoke billowing from the plate, and his next move was absolutely appalling—he decided to throw the thing at me. Luckily he had bad aim and missed me. He just broke a window. The manager got his information, told him to get out, and we would be contacting him about replacing the window he broke.
100. The Old Switcharoo
When I was a server, I was that server that everyone claims they would always be if they did one day become a server in a restaurant. I filled up glasses when they needed to be refilled without asking, I brought out a bowl of lemons if you asked for lemons; if you wanted extra ice, you got a whole extra glass full of ice. Heck, I was even careful enough to write down every order even though I could easily memorize it and get it right.
One particularly busy night, I’m working a party of about 20 people. It’s a Friday night and the kitchen is slammed. Everything was going smooth, I thought—until I bring out the drinks and salads. There is one idiot that starts off saying I didn’t bring her anything right (wrong dressing, drink had a lemon, too much ice, etc.). I play the gracious and apologetic server correcting the issue despite knowing she is wrong.
The meal comes out. It goes from bad to worse. She explodes about how I can’t seem to do anything right and what a screw up I am. I proceed to congratulate her on the fine example she is setting for the kids at the table on how to treat another human being, and what classy language she was using. I then proceeded to show her where I wrote down everything she asked for.
The type of salad, the dressing she wanted, how she wanted it on the side, pulled the straw I gave her from under her bread plate and told her that I did give her one. I also talked about how I heard when her sister had ordered another dish, that she told her sister that she wanted that dish instead, and advised that she maybe should have simply asked for me to change the order instead of trying to play it off as if I was truly a “screw up” as she claimed.
I said maybe next time she would do a better job of making sure the server was not in earshot when she says something like that. I then told her that I would go and have the kitchen fix the meal she really wanted, instead of the one she ordered, and that it would take about 10 minutes before it was ready. Needless to say, the whole table was quiet. Then came the most glorious moment.
Her father piped up and simply said, "Honey, It's about time someone called you out on your antics.” The old man gave me a $100.00 tip when he paid for the meal, strong handshake, and a thanks.
101. Prime Prejudice
I was waiting tables at a popular steakhouse when I got a party of six seated in my section. There was an older couple, who sat nearest me, and two younger couples. The older gentleman requested an eight oz. prime rib. I asked him how he would like it cooked, and he gave the most shocking reply: "I want it your color." His wife gleefully laughed as if it was the joke of the century, but I was taken aback.
My immediate response was, "So you don't want any pink on it?" I informed my manager of this offensive remark, and he asked if I wanted to kick them all out. I told him that I would bite the bullet this time, but I wasn't too happy to serve anyone who would think that was an acceptable answer. I believe they knew they offended me because they ended up leaving me a 30% tip. I guess taking the high road was the best road in this case.
102. Life Is A Box Of Chocolates
This conversation ended with a customer throwing a large bag of Lay’s Sour Cream and Onion potato chips at my head. It was a woman who came into the store looking to buy a box of chocolates. But there was one huge problem. She didn’t have any money. So this customer proposed that she take the chocolates now and come back later to pay when she had money.
“Do you expect me to go all the way home and bring back the money?” she asked. I said, “Yes, because other than that it’s called shoplifting and we will call security.” “But I need these,” she pleaded. I just said no. That’s when the chips started flying.
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103. Fast Food Frenzy
Witnessed a complete and total mental breakdown at McDonald's. An employee got overwhelmed by lunch hour traffic and started screaming and yelling and swearing in front of kids and an officer. The employee even pushed an elderly employee who fell down and she was promptly taken away by the officer. All of it went down in less than a minute.
104. Smile! You’re on Camera
Many many many years ago I worked at a retailer in the UK. A grimy-looking family came in and started acting shifty, having over exaggerated discussions on washing machines, asking ridiculous questions about our returns policy. They bought a reasonably expensive Hotpoint washing machine from us, and wanted to take it with them that day, which we were happy to do.
They paid cash. They took their washing machine, loaded it into the back of their van, and we watched them drive over to the McDonald's on the other side of the trading park. About an hour later they drove back and said that we'd sold them the wrong machine. They'd gotten it home, unwrapped it, and it was the wrong machine.
We told them to bring it on in and we'd sort it out. They went out to their van and brought in a CLEARLY DIFFERENT, DIRTY, OBVIOUSLY SECOND-HAND WASHING MACHINE. Oh, and they didn't want an exchange. Just a refund. With every alarm bell ringing, my boss and I had a quick scan through the security cameras.
Sure enough, they had driven to McDonald's, and come straight back. Whilst I was "running the refund through," my boss called the police, who turned up, had a little look in the back of their van where, unsurprisingly, there was a brand new Hotpoint washer, still in its wrap. They were carted off by the cops. Didn't get charged, unfortunately, but it was a definite get out moment.
If they'd only been more patient and less greedy and gone home for a few hours first, they probably would've gotten away with it, knowing how much my boss would adhere to the “customer is always right” principle.
105. Every Office Needs An Otis
A while back I was working in an office that allowed dogs. It was an open floor plan and since customers never came into the office, we kept the dog food and water bowls right by the front door, just because it was the most convenient space and no one else would see them but us who worked there. Of the six of us who worked in the main office area, I was the only one who didn’t have a dog and I always felt horribly left out.
To make matters worse, across the way was a doggie daycare. One day, a very frantic woman came in and she had an absolutely massive Basset Hound with her. Usually, the only people who came into the office were associates who had appointments with someone working there, but it was rare they brought their dogs. She ran up to me and said, “Do you work here?”
I said, “Yes, how can I help you?” And she said, “I wasn’t sure if you took walk ins but I read online I could just drop him off? I tried to call but no answer.” I didn’t know what she was talking about at that point and I said, “Come again? Who did you call exactly?” Thinking if I could just saddle her off to whoever she came to see, I wouldn’t have to decipher her problem.
She said, “Well it doesn’t matter now. Look, something urgent has come up and I really need to leave him here. Here’s his food he likes and I’ll be back in a few hours and—" At this point I wasn’t thinking of the doggie daycare. I thought maybe she was a friend of someone here. I said, “Well alright, can I get your name please?” And she said her name and then asked if I needed her to sign anything.
I was so confused at this point I just said, “Why would I need you to sign something?” And she left almost immediately. So I took Otis (the dog) to the back and showed him to my coworkers and no one knew the woman or dog. I was worried she wouldn’t come back, but at the same time, my wish for an office dog had been granted! And Otis was supremely chill.
All he did all day was lie around and drool onto his own ears. I just freshened him up every now and then, took him out every couple hours, and he was happy as a clam on a big cushy dog bed we thankfully had an extra of. He just loved attention from anywhere he could get it. At the end of the day the woman, thank God, came back. She said, “Thanks, you’re a lifesaver. How was he?”
I said, “He was a champ.” And was about to say “But why is he here” when she said, “That’s a relief. Most kennels say he gets anxious around other dogs. I heard you operated at a much higher capacity, I was thrilled to see you had so few clients in the room at one time. So, how much do I owe?” It honestly took me this long to realize what had happened.
She thought we were the dog daycare. Now, I probably should’ve corrected her. But I loved my day with the office dog and I did want to get paid for supervising this strange dog all day. I just threw out the number that sounded fair and appropriate “That’ll be $20.” I said. She replied “Reaalllly?!” In this very high tone, and I couldn’t tell if I’d overshot or undershot.
But she paid me and left. My coworkers were laughing hysterically when they realized what had happened and we thought it would just be a good story for the future. Wrong. The next week...she came back! She said we were so much more affordable and less overcrowded than her other place, and that she was happy to use us. I was glad for the company so just took him.
I didn’t think there was any way she couldn’t have at least some idea we weren’t a dog daycare. The whole ordeal was so strange I just figured, “don’t question a good thing.” I was much younger and dumber then. Not long after, Otis started getting dropped off two, sometimes even three or four days a week. I was in heaven. He was such a love. And he made fast friends with the delivery guys and visitors.
One day, we took our office Christmas card photo and Otis was over that day, so we included him. In a Santa hat. It was pretty great. But it turns out Otis’ owner was friends with one of our clients who I guess happened to have the card out on her table or was kind enough to display it alongside her other holiday cards. Because one day, Otis’ owner came in holding the card and walked up to me and said, “I can’t even believe I’m asking this but... is that my dog in this photo? This isn’t a dog daycare at all. This is just an office, isn’t it.” I froze in my tracks.
She said it with a note of surprise, as though she was looking around and putting it all together for the first time. No coincidence that this was the first time she wasn’t in some crazy rush either. She was like, “Then who are all these other dogs?!” And I explained. I was terrified she was going to demand her money back, or worse, take some sort of action against us for misrepresenting ourselves as a dog care business, or complain to corporate.
Instead, she basically said, “Why didn’t you ever say anything!” And I explained we just really liked having Otis around. She stopped for a minute and seemed to be thinking and said, “Is that right?” And I said yes and told the story of how I was the only one in the office without a dog so loved the company. She seemed a little flummoxed or hesitant, understandably, because the whole thing was so weird.
She turned to my coworker and asked if I was telling the whole truth. I don’t know why she thought my coworker, also a stranger to her, was any more trustworthy than me, but hey. Strange times. Coworker backed me up. So she said, “Well, I wish you’d said something sooner. Could’ve saved me a lot of embarrassment with my friend back there. Alright, I have to get going. See you at 4:00.” And she left Otis!
I couldn’t believe it! I said, “So he can stay?!” And she replied, “Where else could I find someone to watch him one on one all day for $20?” And off she went. Otis stayed my office dog until his family moved away, luckily right around the same time I took a new job.
106. Hotel Havoc
I used to work as a front desk agent at a boutique hotel. A guy who was obviously very full of himself came in with an online reservation that he had booked at a shockingly cheap nightly rate. He proceeded to give me a hard time about EVERYTHING, from telling me he shouldn't have to give me his credit card info since he had prepaid his reservation, to telling me "Um yeah, I'm pretty sure I can find the elevators, I'm not stupid."
He was just being an all-around jerk. About 10 minutes after checking him in, he came down and demanded that we give him a bigger room with a king bed and a view, even though he had booked a standard queen bed online. I complied, as we had extra king beds available. 10 minutes later, he came down again to complain about the size of the room.
He told me, "I'm only going to give you one more chance to make me happy," and asked for the general manager. After much arguing between him and my manager, we ended up giving him our nicest suite AND free parking since we had "Given him trouble." He got all this for a way cheaper rate, like $40 per night! Oh, but he outdid himself.
Get this: He informed us shortly after the ordeal, while on his way out to dinner, that he was not even going to be in the room for the majority of his stay, as he was visiting friends and would be staying at their home. What the heck! So I made it my personal mission to make his life a living nightmare from that point on.
I reset his room keys every time I saw him leave the hotel—which was quite frequently, 3-4 times a day. It was particularly funny when he came back tired from a night out and had to come all the way down to the front desk to get his keys fixed. Needless to say, he was very frustrated by the end of his stay. I doubt he'll be staying with us again.
Sources: Reddit, , , . ,
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