People From Around The World Share 'Passive-Aggressive' Stories

December 10, 2019 | Eul Basa

People From Around The World Share 'Passive-Aggressive' Stories


Oh wow, that was so sweet of you. You're always so kind.

I really admire the way you dress too. I think it's so refreshing that you don't ...follow the trends.

And how terribly brave of you to wear that bikini. You just don't care what anyone thinks!

Are you cringing yet? We all deal with passive-aggression all the time. It's what people do when they can't come right out and attack you without causing more trouble than you're worth. It's annoying to be on the receiving end of it, but dishing out passive-aggressive revenge can certainly be therapeutic.

These people from all over the world recently went online to share their best tales of passive-aggressive behaviour. Embrace the meanness!

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62. Could've just said "you look bad"

One time I was hanging out at my sister's house, just killing time. I'm waiting for her and her friend to get ready to go out and I'm eating Doritos when my sisters friend exits the bathroom and asks, "How do I look?" My sister replies with a smile, "Debbie, I love that dress on you. It's like you don't care what anyone thinks." Women are scary, man.

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61. Is the the mom from Everybody Loves Raymond

My mother in law watches my son twice a week. I usually drop him off, but one morning she happened to be running errands in the neighborhood and decided to pick him up. At the time, it was still early and I hadn't brushed his hair yet. Note... she is the most passive-aggressive person I have ever met and she is always making making comments regarding my parenting.

So she looks at my son and in a sweet, fake voice says, "We should brush your hair so people don't think nobody loves you." Witch. I have tons more.

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60. They are chicken

I was taking care of my elderly grandparents and started to defrost chicken for dinner. The phone rang and my grandmother answered the phone. She then called me down because my uncle on the other line wanted to talk to me. I pickup and say hello, and he replies "They don't want chicken for dinner."

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59. Facebook has increased passive-aggression by 10,000%

Probably in college when I saw my roommate's Facebook status about how she "hates when her roommates get sick because they might infect her," and how she "didn't understand why people just don't go to the doctor." I had the flu, and my parent's didn't have insurance. Screw you, Michelle.

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58. Pennies from heaven

In high school a dude started insulting me and making fun of me. That weekend I went to where he worked (a dollar store) and bought some snacks with all pennies. He refused to count my pennies, the manager had to count then for him, and he got fired. Never messed with me again, though.

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57. Stuck on the elevator

I stopped by the hospital to visit my grandma and while walking in this large couple steps in front of me and starts walking really really slowly. I'm not exactly Speedy González myself (dat arthritis), so I just shrugged and slowed my pace a little bit.

Anyway, they got on the elevator and I stepped in behind them. The guy hit the button for the top floor, I hit the button for the second floor. As soon as I do the girl lets out this very loud, very obvious sigh, like she was just sooo put out that they had to stop at my floor on the way to theirs.

I'm used to people acting annoyed when I get on the elevator with them just to go to the next floor, so I just ignored her. But as I was getting off (and I have no idea what in the world compelled me to do this) I reached back and hit every single freaking button for every freaking floor in between mine and theirs and then I hit the door close button so they couldn't say a word to me.

Felt good, man.

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56. Picture imperfect

I was trying to finish up a media project in the computer lab in high school. The door was locked. But I see this girl at one of the monitors through the window slit, so I bang on the door to get her attention and unlock it for me. She looks back at me and nonchalantly goes back to her photo editing.

I bang on the door for a solid 20 minutes before I watch her finish and pack up. She comes out the door and looks at me in disgust for whatever feeble reason she may have. Exasperated and ticked off, I go to her same monitor with intent of messing up her dumb photoshop crap.

It was a portrait of herself doing a ballerina pose. So naturally I put markings all over the photo including a mustache on her face, flatten the image and saved over it.

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55. I love doing this to impatient drivers

Back when I had just learned to drive a stick, I got honked out at the light because some impatient jerk thought I was taking too long going after a green light. I had accidentally put the car in third instead of first, so it took me an extra second or two to get moving.

This guy just lays on his horn for a few seconds, then once we start moving, he changes to the other lane because he expects me to be slower than the car in the other lane.

Turns out the car in the other lane was stupidly slow, going 27, 28 in a 35 zone. So naturally, I drove 27. Then when the guy tries to pass me, illegally, I edge out just enough so he can't pass me, and he had to drive behind us for a solid 10 miles.

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54. A penny for your thoughts

Friend of my mine borrowed my copy of Avengers and I wanted it back but he said he was still watching it. Instead of doing something drastic I pulled the penny prank that I had heard about on the internet. I placed pennies strategically in places he would find them for about two weeks.

On the day when he finally flipped (a penny somehow ended up in his burrito) and started demanding to know who was placing penny's everywhere, I looked him in the eyes and said, "You done with my movie yet?" Got my movie the next day.

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53. That's your mess

When I lived with messy housemates I was sick of having to wash anything I needed to use so I bought 1x fork, knife, spoon, bowl, plate, pan. Used them, washed them, took them back to my room. Let the mess build up to a ridiculous standard until they were sick of it.

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52. I do voodoo

I used to work with a girl who seemed like the nicest person you could meet. After a while of working with her she told me she was hyper-spiritual and whenever someone was mean to her or didn't do what she wanted she'd spend X amount of weeks "sending bad vibes at them" whenever they weren't looking at her.

After she told me I started looking for it and surely enough, any time someone would turn around she'd crunch her face up into a painful shape and just look at that person until they turned back around.

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51. What is it with roommates and dishes?

Last year I lived with three roommates. I provided all of the cookware and cooking utensils, and my only rule for other people using them was that they had to wash them when they were done. Only one of them followed the rule, but it wasn’t super annoying. I just dealt with it.

Then one day, someone used my pan to make a grilled cheese and burnt a bread shape into the bottom of the pan. They didn’t butter the freaking bread first so that was obviously going to happen.

The pan was not usable anymore, so I said in our group chat that I needed to be reimbursed for it or the person who did it should buy a new pan. My one roommate responded with: “What you think you deserve isn’t always what you get, sweetheart. It’s called life.”

So I took all of my cookware and utensils and kept them in a laundry basket in my room. Screw that girl. What you think you deserve isn't always what you get.

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50. Throw candy at my face

Worked for a pair of patronizing scumbags at a franchised sandwich shop. Every month they held a mandatory meeting where they would grill us with dozens of basic questions about making sandwiches.

We were required to answer in order to keep our jobs, and they asked each question sloooowwwly... with lots of, okay are you listening? rephrasing, so that our feeble minds could grasp the questions. As incentive, whenever we answered correctly, they would throw us a fun-sized candy.

We stopped catching the candy. Just let it bounce right off our stone-cold faces. For months.

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49. Can't sell it? We'll give it away

Pot is legal now here in Canada but there is still a bit of red tape in some provinces. This meaning in places like Ontario any dispensaries can not operate legally until April 2019.

In my city we had a raid on a dispensary after legalization. Any product they had could not be legally sold. However here you can legally gift someone herb as long as they are above the legal age. So they ran a can and coat drive for local charities and gave away free stuff to people who donated. They literally gave away pounds (to many people) and got so many donations that they were asked not to collect any more coats.

Cops said they couldn't sell their stuff but it was perfectly legal to give away. The best passive-aggressive play I've ever seen.

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48. Rough smoothie

This girl at my current job frequently makes smoothies for everyone in culinary who is on the shift at the time. She won’t make smoothies for people she’s upset with. So there’s times where she’s made smoothies for over five people and casually just doesn’t have one for the cook she has beef with.

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47. Smile at me; or don't

I didn’t have that option. I was her team leader. The rest of the team were fully aware of her hatred for me and I was determined not to allow it to affect me. My position of authority depended on it. I had to carry on as though her efforts to get me fired were wasted on me. For example:

She reported me for not smiling at her when I passed her in the hall. A week later, she reported me for smiling at her as I passed her in the hall.

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46. These lightbulbs are MINE

Had a falling-out with a housemate, asked her to move out. Left to do some shopping -- came back home after nightfall to find she had removed every single lightbulb in the downstairs area (our part of the house, not hers) because "she paid for them." We lived in a remote, rural area with no 24hr stores. We had to live in the dark until morning.

The next day, as I was making breakfast for both my child and my housemate's child (both the same age, in grade school), I had toast cooking in both toasters (mine and hers) to save time. She swept downstairs, took the toast out of her toaster and threw it on the counter, unplugged her toaster, and swept back upstairs with it, without one word.

The day she moved out, we celebrated like we won the lottery.

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45. Seat hogs need to be arrested

I was both the victim and perpetrator of passive aggression at a bus station the other day.

Some old dude had a bag on the only available seat, so I smiled at him and politely asked if the seat was taken. He gave me a death stare and said that it wasn't taken, and so I waited for him to move his bag. He didn't. He then said, "Well, sit there, then!" and I realized that he was so ticked off with me for having the audacity to ask him to move his bag off the seat that he expected me to move it for him. So I sat on the bag.

He snatched it away and I said "oops, sorry!" as sweetly as I could, and then we sat in silence for an hour.

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44. Cold as ice

Girlfriend was upset with me over not cleaning something. I asked her for a glass of water and she brought me a glass of ice and told me to wait.

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43. A passive-aggressive mugging

Something that I am currently doing: I work at a law firm and we live off coffee. I like having cute things around so I bought my own coffee mug that I liked and have been using it for more than a year at my office.

Several months ago, a new paralegal was hired and I started noticing that my mug was missing. Now, I don't mind if someone uses my mug once in a while. All the mugs are kept together in the kitchen. It's an unspoken rule that some people prefer certain mugs and we all tend to know who uses what. There are also a ton of simple mugs that everyone uses.

So, after two weeks without seeing my mug anywhere, I do a little snooping and find out that the new paralegal has been using it. Okay, fine. But even after mentioning how it was my mug that I bought, she still uses it. She's a little on the weird side, but whatever.

I decide that I'll just make coffee a few minutes before she does, so that I'll get the mug before her. That worked for a few days, in which she was very confused and complained to several people that mugs had started going missing. Then she starts getting to work early (by at least 20 minutes!) and making coffee first thing. By the time I got to the office the mug would be long gone.

This weekend I had to go into the office for something. The mug was in the kitchen. I took it. The mug is now in my desk drawer. It will stay in my desk drawer for several weeks, until the paralegal forgets about it and moves on. My pettiness makes me very happy.

I have meanwhile bought a new mug that I've been using that she has yet to attempt to steal.

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42. A sociopath with no cunning whatsoever

When I worked as a tech writer, my company hired a bona fide sociopath (M) who quickly began jockeying to become the boss of me and the other writer there. At one point M suggested she should be the "editor" (i.e. do no real work and just critique ours) and my coworker pointed out I'd been an editor previously, so if anyone should do it I should. Later that day M requested my resume under the pretence that it would help us all become more familiar with each other.

We shut her nonsense down pretty well, but at one point M just up and printed out a document I'd written years ago and marked it up with red pen, apropos of nothing, and came over to my desk to talk about fixing the errors she had found. It was the pettiest behavior I'd ever come across in the work world.

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41. Let me buzz you in -- or not

At my work, for visitors to get into the building, I need to buzz them in. There are big signs saying to ask the front desk for directions to where you're going. Very often people just walk by and expect me to just let them in and walk around the building willy nilly.

Something like 90% of people who are just visiting will get lost, bother the other workers who are trying to work and have no clue where the person who they're looking for is, come back and ask where to go.

When they're being jerks, I'lI just stare at them and wait. They'll usually tug on the door, glance at me, tug again, read the sign, then tug again for the last time. All this time I'll just stare at them.

Then when they come up to me, I ask very innocently if I can help them and when they say the door is locked, I will give them the most sincere, "Oh I can open it for you, why didn't you just say so?"

For the extra special individual, I'll buzz the door while they walk away from my desk, making them run a bit and then I'll let go of the button a second before they reach it causing the inevitable tugging war with the door that will never lose.

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40. Get on your soapbox

My sister accused me of soaping up her toothbrush when we were kids. I didn't, but I felt so offended that she accused me of doing it that I decided I should just do the crime. I scrubbed the heck out of a bar of soap with her toothbrush a few days later. She never confronted me or my parents about it, but she soon started using a different toothbrush for some reason.

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39. Video game addict

I had a roommate that used my computer too much. I thought I’d be nice since it was the 90s and not everybody had a computer or access to the internet, so I set up my computer in the living room and let people use it. She stopped going to class and just played video games all day.

So I wrote a program that would randomly kill a process (except itself) every 15 minutes. I added it to run at startup. So she’d use my computer and it would randomly crash. I’d kill the process when I would use it so I never had any difficulty. She’d complain how unstable my computer was but I’d never see a problem. I think she eventually flunked out and moved on.

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38. Get off my lawn

Our neighbors keep parking their car on our front lawn despite having multiple parking spaces (the front of their house is filled with junk that they can't be bothered cleaning up). On the way back from walks I've been discreetly letting my dog dump next to the car on the driver's side in hopes that they'll step on a turd bomb while getting in/out of their car. Any day now my stealthy work will pay off...

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37. Some say she's still there to this day

I was pulling into the parking lot at the grocery store I used to work at. There were maybe six cars in front of me waiting to turn right. Next to the right lane was a sort of half breakdown lane. The lady in front of me (who was a Mass-hole) thought she could cut the entire line and go right before the other five people in front of her. She pulled into the breakdown lane and instantly realized there was not enough space to cut everyone else in line.

After she pulled into the breakdown lane, I pulled forward and occupied the spot she had been in, so there was no way for her to re-enter the traffic lane. She looked at me and I just smiled back. I don't know how long she was there after I drove off.

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36. Be careful what you wish for

I was working with this girl who kept stabbing me in the back and flirting with our boss trying to get my big clients.

I've just resigned and given her what she wants. My big clients. And the small, demanding ones too. All my clients actually. All 120 of them.

Thanks to intensive lobbying from both of us, my boss decided she was the most capable person to handle all the clients. She now has about 200 accounts and my ex-assistant told me her phone has not stopped ringing. She's getting yelled at nonstop by many big clients for her incompetence (there was a reason she never got them in the first place).

We're taking bets on when she'll finally admit to my boss she can't handle it and/or be fired.

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35. The loser team

I'm a teacher. Throughout the semester I take note of students who are rude, disrespectful, lazy, and entitled -- there's usually 4 or 5 in every class -- and I put them together as a group for their team project. Inevitably, this "loser" team produces a low quality deliverable that gets a low grade because no one wants to step up to the plate and do the work or lead the project.

Bottom line? Think twice before texting your way through class or arguing that your crappy, grammatically impaired paper that you obviously dashed off the morning it was due deserves an A because you're a self-proclaimed "A student" because it will come back to bite you in the butt.

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34. Why can't we just communicate?

One time after I showered I must have accidentally knocked over my housemate's face towel from the rack, because for the next 2 weeks I kept finding my towel on the floor, I brushed it off and assumed it kept falling down.

I found out from my other housemate that she knocked it over intentionally because she thought I threw hers on the ground and she was waiting for me to apologize.

Glad I got out of that living situation.

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33. Get trashed

I had a roommate who created more trash than one person ever should. He was constantly in denial about it. It was never his turn or his trash that was filling the trashcan almost daily. I bought another trashcan and wrote my name on it. I would drag it into the kitchen when I needed it and back to my bathroom, which he did not have access to when I was finished.

He finally got the point about a week and a half in when he realized it was all his trash. It also helped that his new girlfriend came over and commented on the smell. I told her about our little arrangement and how all the trash she saw in the kitchen was his. Never had a problem again.

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32. Share the road

I bike commute daily to the lab I work at on a university campus. I follow traffic laws and am courteous of the cars that I share the road with, and expect the same from them.

A few weeks ago, I was riding onto campus, and a car behind me just sat on their horn. They couldn't be bothered by a silly cyclist, couldn't simply pass me on the left. At the time, there was a passing lane, and I was riding as far right as was safe. Instead of just passing me, they just kept on pressing that horn, as I spun at 20+ mph.

Then, we went through a roundabout and entered a single-lane one-way road that continues for, oh, a few hundred yards. They are still blasting on that horn. At this point, I move to the middle of the road and slowed up a bit. They lost their mind. There was no one behind them, so I felt no guilt whatsoever.

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31. Forbidden love and laundry

I had a roommate who was really romantically interested in my husband. She was the sweetest girl ever when he was around, but when it was just she and I, she was ridiculously rude.

One day, I put a load of laundry into the wash and left to get cat food or something. I was gone for literally a half hour, and as soon as I got home, I went to put my laundry into the dryer. She had thrown my wet laundry all over the basement. Thrown it all like the articles of clothing were flower petals in the breeze. I brushed it off and figured I wouldn't stoop to her level, but wait it out. She'd grow up someday, right? Nope.

Fast forward to the third time she pulled this little stunt with my laundry. I found her laundry in the wash (she had conveniently left the house, and didn't come back until the following morning), put it all into a laundry basket, and brought it to her room. I folded her clothes, soaking wet, and put them on her bed in neat piles. Then I found one of my cats (who liked to roll in soot and make little black cat prints everywhere) and put him in her room for a few hours. All of her work shirts sported little paw prints for about a month afterward.

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30. Butts for bowls

My roommate and I have separate dishes to try and avoid arguments over who's turn it is. Due to him being a slob his dishes are piled next to the sink and mine are clean and in the cupboard.

He asked me earlier today if he could borrow a bowl from me as all his were dirty and he couldn't be bothered cleaning them. I said no immediately but he promised to wash it as soon as he is done. I agreed for some reason and he has since gone to bed, my bowl unwashed.

About 15 minutes ago I got up, sat on his chair bare-butt and farted for at least 10 seconds. Justice is served.

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29. Mom is a savage

My mother had been complaining about the fact that she didn't have any recent pictures of me a couple of years ago, so I finally gave in and got her one. It was me at a wedding where I'd really put the effort in -- dress, makeup, heels, the whole business -- and she took one look at it, took a look back up at me and said, "Oh, what a lovely frame!"

Thanks, mum. I couldn't even be mad at her. It was just savage.

In her defence, she claims she didn't recognize it was me and thought it was a stock photo that came with the frame, because I don't dress up all that often. The fact that she emphasized "... because you don't dress up all that often" was really just kicking me while I was down.

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28. "Enjoy scrubbing my pee into your skin you cow"

I had a roommate who thought bringing a full sized drum set into a shared house and jamming out for hours in the room next to mine starting at midnight was acceptable behavior. She also ruined some of my plates. Didn’t even apologize and just thew them out.

When I confronted her about it apparently it was my fault they weren’t microwave safe and they were “tacky anyway.” She took my clothes out of the washer in the laundry building and left them on the counter because “she had somewhere to be.” When I informed her that I also had somewhere to be she said I was less important. But I still finished my laundry first because I was there first. So she took a pink market and cracked the ink tube open and poured it into my clothes in the dryer then denied it.

She always hogged the bathroom and would stand outside the door when I showered to try to force me to come out sooner. I took to showering at 3am just to avoid her.

But one day she came to the door at 3am and was like, “You’re using all the hot water. You better not be using my body scrub!” I had never even touched her body scrub.

Until that moment. I opened her scrub and peed into it. I mixed it all up, and closed the lid and put it back.

Enjoy scrubbing my pee into your skin you cow.

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27. The dish-unwasher

I have a colleague who is insistent that somebody keeps putting dirty cups back in the cupboard. Everybody keeps telling her she's being stupid because nobody would actually do that and its probably just the dishwasher not cleaning thoroughly....

I can safely say if she wasn't such a miserable negative old witch I wouldn't keep putting dirty cups back in the cupboard.

The best part is we are purchasing more expensive, robust washing tablets to combat the apparent poor job the dishwasher does. That is obviously not working, so 3 weeks from now we are having a new dishwasher put it.

I will not be beaten.... mwah ha ha!

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26. "You putrid vat of slime"

I hated this woman at work, and she was very particular about which pair of scissors she used. One day I snapped and freaking annihilated these scissors man, I stamped on them, bent them out of shape, swiped them through my butt like a credit card, and then just put them back in her drawer.

It occurred to me that evening that putting them back in her drawer, as if some sort of scissor gremlin had visited in the night and destroyed them, was utterly stupid.

I turned up 90 minutes early in the morning to dispose of them, and kept my head down nice and quiet when she realized and flipped out.

Screw you, Barbara, you putrid vat of slime.

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25. Battle of the bands

I worked nights when I was younger. My apartment was for the most part dead quiet during the day as we weren't too far from the local university. So, it was perfect.

Well, until this family moved in next door and their teenager decided they were going to play hip-hop as loud as freaking possible. Even the office had enough after two days of this.

Day 3, even letters from the office didn't work. So, I line up my stereo right next to the adjoining wall and pump bagpipes.

They pounded on the wall for an hour to get me to stop. I didn't give in. They knocked on my door, I finally answered, and they asked me to stop. The apartment manager was just walking up behind the kid when I said, "The manager left notes on your door two days in a row warning you of excessive noise. YOU ARE DISTURBING EVERYONE ELSE WITH YOUR BAD MUSIC. And now you're pleading with me to stop? Nah. YOU GET BACH NOW, IDIORS!"

I slammed the door and for the rest of the day she complained to the manager that she couldn't hear her music over alternating Bach and Bagpipes. I let up after that, but the manager loved the retribution and this 17-year-old kid in her office complaining and never once seeming to get the situation until it finally sank in.

We never heard anything from her again. Ever.

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24. Passive-aggressive uncle revenge

So I'm at my local laundromat and the lady who works there starts to tell me this story about a guy who came in earlier that cussed her out because he tried to wash heavy paint drop clothes soaked in paint and god knows what else and she wouldn't let him.

This was after parking in 3 spots in his big blue van and ranting about his tongue surgery and basically acting condescending to no end.

Anyway, turns out I know that jerk. Matter of fact I work with him and he was in a work truck. He's also my uncle... and yes he acts like that all the time but cant get fired because it's his daddy's company. So I took advantage of the opportunity and gave the nice lady the shop's number without revealing I worked there or I was related to him just so he would catch some flak.

Now he can't drive company vehicles.

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23. A hot tip

I worked as a pizza delivery driver in college.

When the deliveries were in a similar part of town and if they were good to route together we would take double or sometimes triple deliveries.

After a while you end up knowing the repeat customers. The ones who tip well, and especially the ones who don’t tip at all...

If I got a double and I knew one of them didn’t tip at all, I would deliver to the other person first. Even if I had to drive directly past your house to get there.

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22. Politeness is the key

We moved in April and had our condo listed for sale - bought a new home in June and condo still hasn’t sold. We finally got an offer that was well below asking but we were in a pinch and needed to sell.

The buyer ended up being a huge jerk to work with so when it was all done I kept the garage door opener and told them I left it in the unit for them - and mind you it wasn’t a one car garage, it was the opener for an entire subbasement garage and I had spent the whole time we lived there trying to get a second from the property manager with no luck.

Our agent contacted us a week later and told me they were having no luck finding it and were having a hard time dealing with the property manager - felt so good.

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21. Girl gets back on a mega creep

I called it The Great Passive Aggression. It was retaliatory.

A couple years ago a guy in one of my college classes would not stop aggressively hitting on me; not after he met my boyfriend, not after I told him I wasn't interested. My life on campus became underscored by a fear of running into him and having to deal with his creepy comments about my body and what he would do to me, and him putting his hands on me. I even had to stop going to group study sessions, and my grades and ability to interact with my classmates suffered.

This semester I was single (no risk of hurting an SOs feelings by interacting with a guy who had been hitting on me), and he was in a class with me again at my new school. After the discomfort he put me through previously I decided to mess with him as hard as possible.

I sat behind him at first and kicked his chair for the entirety of class. When he wised up and put his back to the wall, I sat in front of him and blocked his view as best I could. I befriended and monopolized every female he spoke to in class (and he only spoke to the females, never interacted with the males).

I like to think I made him feel as freaked out and isolated as he made me feel, and perhaps made him reflect on how crappy it feels when someone won't stop invading your space and your life.

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20. Dogs can be passive-aggressive too

I have a medical alert dog. Just a disclaimer before I say what I'm about to say; the vast majority of people are AWESOME and ignore us, compliment my dog's behavior, or tell their kids why they can't pet and how she has a job to do (go awesome parents!).

And then there's people who don't and ignore the 4 patches on my dog's vest that identify her as a service dog, say you can't pet her. As well as icons that say no touch, no talk, no eye contact, and no photos. I've had people try to call her, pet her, even try to FEED her while I was sitting at a table, etc. Sometimes they don't get that even though she's the cutest girl on the planet, she has a very important job to do.

So one time after I had enough of people calling her, etc I decided to teach her the word "ignore". She knows leave it, which if for some reason her nose wanders she looks back up to me. So I taught her to do the same thing with a different word.

Anyways, to my story. I was checking out at a local craft store and my dog was to my right. Nothing crazy, just a usual weekend running errands and all that jazz.

This woman gets in the line behind us and instantly notices her, then tries to call her. I told her that my dog was working, and to please not distract my dog as she's a medical alert dog. Maybe thirty seconds pass and she calls her again with the whole "hey cute doggie" routine.

This time I told my dog to lay in front of me in an attempt to get the woman to stop. She continued with something along the lines, of "Oh, your mommy doesn't like it when I talk to you", and my dog broke focus and looked at her.

I then sternly told my dog to ignore in a kind of loud voice, which she responded to by snapping her focus back to me. The woman switched lines (and finally stopped), and that's probably the most proud I've ever been of my dog.

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19. At least you realized you were the bad guy

This was about ten years ago, living with roommates, two brothers/friends of mine. I was extremely socially awkward then and fresh out of high school. First time trying to strike it out on my own as an adult.

I couldn't find a job for the life of me and yet, they allowed me to live with them rent free. I did my best to keep costs down and minimize my presence in the house the longer my unemployment went on. I didn't even have a car and relied on one of them to give me rides to the dollar store for my own food (couldn't even afford the regular grocery store).

Despite everything, tensions understandably rose between us and we spoke less and less.

I started placing a series of post-its on the fridge, saying things like "Need to go to store soon," "Almost out of food," "Out of food, need store NOW" etc. I was simply aghast my notes were going un-responded to.

Finally, one day I noticed a different colored post it placed over mine, that said "IF SOMEONE NEEDS A RIDE TO THE STORE, SOMEONE NEEDS TO ASK LIKE AN ADULT."

Oh, yes. I was the passive-aggressive jerk, and I had no idea. I felt terrible. I still don't know why I thought the notes were a better idea than just asking. Pride, I guess.

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18. Beware a jealous mother

My best friend and his girlfriend worked 3rd shifts, and had just had a baby, so asked if I could stay with them, and watch their newborn who is now my god daughter. Didn't know the girlfriend that well at first, and she would hide certain foods like I was about to eat them, small things like that at first. I had my own money for my own food, and I didn't like what she was hiding anyway.

4 months of watching their baby from 7am to around 5pm, then from 7pm to 7am every day but Saturday, the little spawn of satan became pretty attached to me. The mom started doing little things like stepping on my foot if the baby started crying when she saw me, or if the mom was holding her, and she reached out for me, it usually got me a comment like, "Shouldn't you be doing the dishes. Or whatever."

She was just a stressed out mom though, and we became best friends as well, and I like to make jokes about the foot stomping now. So it wasn't that big of a deal, but at the time it really made me wonder what her deal was.

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17. Don't rock the boat

Me and my Boy Scout troop were canoeing across a lake. Me and this kid, let's call him Alan, were in the same boat. I took the rear position because I knew how to steer (I had been on a boat with this kid before and he sucked at it).

Well, he wanted to steer despite being in the front and he accused me of being a control freak that has to have everything his way. He told me to just provide power and that he would steer. At this point I began paddling with the strength and force of god and him being in the front couldn't steer so we started doing donuts in the lake while he was screaming at me to stop.

After a minute or two I stopped and he didn't ask to steer again the entire trip.

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16. Passive-aggressive wedding toasts

Several years back, my buddy married his high school sweetheart and they had a nice private ceremony at a beautiful spot on the lake. Neither were religious so they were married earlier that day by the justice of the peace and the ceremony was just for the rest of the wedding stuff.

The groom's mom mentioned god like 15 times in her 5 minute speech and even made a crappy remark about having a "sort-of wedding" outside instead of "in the house of the lord."

The father of the bride started his speech a minute later and passive aggressively tore her a new one. He made little remarks about how most people have respected the religious beliefs of the couple and how great it is that they could do their own thing their own way instead of being forced to have the wedding someone else wanted. He even jabbed at her about the area at the lake being "god's country."

If looks could kill, the bride's entire family would have burst into flames.

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15. The old man and the tools

I was on a crew when I was a younger man and our job involved using a few tools to keep our machines running. Third year there they hire a guy because he was a ticketed mechanic at one time and he could help us with the aging machinery.

Old dude took everything to his head and suddenly he’s ‘the mechanic’ and the tools are his responsibility. He takes to giving people crap for using them etc. I mention it to the supervisor that dude is trying to flex on the full time crew and our boss told me to try and ignore the guy because he wasn’t working out and was ticking off management too.

Next day or so I grab a simple pair of pliers to tighten a thing and this old dude starts dressing me down overusing ‘his tools’ and if I touch them again he’s gonna have a talk with the boss. I just slowly walk inside the shop and calmly start dumping ‘his tools’ onto the concrete floor. Loud as thunder.

He turns and books it for the offices. He didn’t finish the day, was fired basically immediately.

Once I heard the news I simply cleaned up the mess (sorta) and acted like I had no idea what was going on. Everyone thought I tossed a tool on the floor or just dropped what I was using, dude was so irate. No one believed that I actually dumped all tools out and they thought the guy snapped because I dropped a pair of pliers.

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14. Inconsequential yet infuriating

I'm a little late, but my roommate situation last year was just CONSTANT passive aggressive BS. Most of it was just annoying, but my absolute favorite happened between the two girls in the lower floors, “E” and “A”.

A always kept her TV volume too high, which was something E whined about all year. Oftentimes, E would text A asking her to turn it down, but she never did. (A later told me she thought it was “too immature” for E to be texting her instead of asking in person, so she refused to do what E asked. At no point did A explain this to E.)

So the last month of the semester comes, with both A and E moving out soon. At this point, both were slowly giving up on any pretence of tolerating each other, which was incredible to watch

One night, A refuses to turn her TV down again. so what does E do, you ask?

She... put A’s toaster on the floor of the kitchen. No damage, no nothing -- just unplugged it and set it on the floor.

A was losing her mind for DAYS because she was so steamed. “She's so weird!! Omfg!!! What if it was broken!!!” Meanwhile, me and my other roommate couldn't stop laughing at the sheer genius of doing something so inconsequential, yet infuriating.

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13. A wedding is a great time to bring up the past

Two of my best friends are getting married, we're at the rehearsal dinner. The mother of the groom gets up and grabs the mic. To set the scene, the bride and I dated in high school, so a lot of people are super uncomfortable with the idea me being in the wedding party. But I was assured it would be fine.

I was a jerk in high school, so the mother basically goes over the story of how the two met and that the bride was dating this other guy, but her son was just far more charming and attractive, which he obviously got from her. The bride is petrified, everyone turns to stare at me, and I reactively choked on my drink.

The bride also introduced me to my last two girlfriends, the current one I'm going to marry, and we're their son's god parents. The mom is still mean to me, though. I'm pretty sure I'm going to hold that grudge forever.

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12. The disabled parking space

My husband, who is not normally that type of person, did something yesterday that was the most passive aggressive thing I have seen in my life.

I'm currently recovering from a brutal knee surgery and I have a disabled parking placard. Our apartment building has one disabled parking place and we are the only ones who have a permit to use it. It's one of those extra large parking spaces for a larger vehicle that can carry a wheelchair (am I painting this picture well enough?).

Anyways, we have neighbours that have been (poorly) parking their vehicles over the line and taking up half the disabled parking spot (I need to be able to open the car door all the way to get out because I have a huge brace). Sometimes parking so far over the line that we couldn't even park our vehicle there.

We tried speaking with the landlord, but he's less than helpful. So, yesterday, they parked the same way, leaving virtually no space for us to get in. My husband lets me out by the apartment doors and proceeds to park as close as he possibly can to their vehicles driver's side without touching it. There must have been mere millimetres between the side mirrors.

We watched gleefully later that day as they had to climb over to the driver's side from the passenger door.

They haven't parked anywhere near us all day today, so I guess they learned their lesson.

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11. Finally one where the neat freak is the bad guy

My roommate in college was a super neat freak and was very passive aggressive regarding what I did to pitch in. He would arrange furniture a certain way to make sure I noticed he vacuumed, and I'd move things back. He'd leave open the entryway closet so that I saw that he hung all jackets and Winter scarves, etc.

My favorite was when he would leave the kitchen trash can in the middle of the kitchen but without putting in a new trash bag, he wanted me to put in a new bag so I would be aware that he took the trash out. I didn't find it necessary to take out the trash every day and I found that a waste of trash bags. So, I went out one day and bought a new trash can and put it in the trash cupboard, leaving the other one in the middle of the kitchen.

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10. The boyfriend is here to stay

A little backstory; a friend and I decided to move in together for college and be roommates. Well, a week in she decided to move her boyfriend in, wherein they split her half of the rent. So I paid half, they each paid a quarter. They both worked, I paid my half with my student loan and very careful budgeting.

After a few months the tension skyrockets. It's rent day and I have a migraine, so I send her my half of the rent. Then she tells me I have to walk to the bank and get the money, PLUS cover an extra $50 on their end cause they couldn't afford that month's rent. She told me I could either do that or wait and still pay an extra $50 for the late fee, because it was my fault for not lending her the money.

This led to a blowout fight, where my roommate told me, "We decided if there was no money coming in by Christmas, one of us will have to move out." Implying that they were planning to kick me out. Instead of letting that happen, I had my parents come get me and moved myself and my cat back in with them.

It's important to note at this point that we took all of our laundry to my mother's house in our home town every weekend, since one of us was always going back anyway. This fight happened on a day when I was going back, which meant I had all the laundry... including every towel we owned.

So a few days go by and I drop of all of their clothes. A few days after that...

RM: Where are all the towels?

Me: ...Maybe you shouldn't have tried to kick out the person who does all the laundry. Hope you can afford more!

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9. Go ahead, have a drink

My daughter was notorious for not doing her chores which included washing the dishes and feeding the (her) cat. One day while she was on the computer I asked her if she was thirsty, would she maybe like some water? She enthusiastically said yes, not even wondering why I was being so accommodating. So I took a dirty glass and picked up the cat's water dish that was near her and which was slimy and poured that water into it while she watched and gave it to her.

She figured it out.

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8. Nothing hurts like getting fired by a 13-year-old

I used to take piano lessons. I was 13ish in my 3rd-4th year, and that year I decided I wanted to take a break over the summer. We give two weeks notice, and on the last lesson for the summer, my teacher asks, "So, what makes you want to stop?"(Or something like that.)

Okay, fair question. So I explain how I just want time to myself over the summer to relax, stay with family/friends, etc. So he replies with, "But Summer vacation's only for school. What, do you think of this as school?" I wasn't sure what to say, so I just kinda shrugged.

He continues, "Well, I was just wondering because you're the first student to ever want time off. None of my other students have ever asked me about something like that before." I was a shy, quiet kid, and I'm at a loss of what I should say... I'm sorry, I guess..?

He then tells me, "You know, I've been taking music lessons since I was your age (he was in his 60's), and I never felt like I needed time off. I always went every single week, and I still do. Oh, except for that time when my children were born. So I guess I took 2 days off during my lessons. But hey, that's just me... "

If anything that just made me want to quit more than I already did at the time.

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7. Snotty cheerleaders get what's coming to them

My mother does event services and deals with groups that book the venue. One time she had a cheerleading competition and the girls were really mean. After one group yelled at my mom and talked down to her because she told them they couldn't leave their things in the hallway unattended, they then proceeded to walk off and told my mom to go to [bleep] herself.

This was about 3 hours before they performed. My mom's job has a strict "unattended bag" policy. My mom calls it in: bomb squad and bomb sniffing dogs come. These girls had items they needed for competition in the bags. After the all-clear was given, all the bags were confiscated and brought to security.

Girls show back up for the bags - they are all gone. (They have an hour left until they perform at this point) So of course they start freaking out.

Now my mom is really well-liked in her job. This matters because the whole of the staff know what the girls said before my mom called it in. These girls might have performed on time if they could've gotten their stuff from the security office. However, what ensued was every single staff member giving these girls the runaround trying to find security.

After about 50 minutes they finally found it and got to meet some officers waiting to have a talk with the girls and their chaperones. They did not make it to their performance.

It was a good day.

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6. That's the best revenge I've ever heard

I work on commission, and at work somebody blatantly lied and stole a $1,200 commission from me. I confronted him and told him to pay me, but he only offered me $100. I told him until he paid me the amount I was owed, I was going to make sure I cost him $12,000.

From that point on he hit quite a dry spell and made about half of what he normally does for the month. Customers flaked on him or whittled his commissions down to nothing. For months nothing went quite right. He'd fly into rages about how much I was costing him (but still wouldn't make things right and pay me what he stole). He'd curse me every chance he got, and hasn't dared cross me since.

Funny thing was, I never did a thing. I just let him think it was me. I wanted him to believe I really did cost him 10x what he stole. Every customer that bailed on him, every deal that went bad, he was sure I caused it to collect on my imaginary debt. As far as I know, he believes it to this day.

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5. Cheater gets what she deserves

I have a buddy who started dating a girl who was engaged to another guy. After a couple of weeks of dating (i.e serious, heavy duty boning), she broke up with her fiance and started dating my buddy exclusively.

A few months later they moved in together and shared an apartment for 9 months. Then one day my buddy came home from work and found all of his stuff by the front door and his mom pulling up in her minivan to help him move home. That's right, his mom knew it was over before he did.

This was my friend's first serious relationship (he was 20 at the time) and he went off the deep end. For about 2 weeks he called her constantly before giving up.

Not surprisingly, his ex got back together with her fiance. Unfortunately for her, she didn't remember which lies she had told her fiance before they broke up. So after about a year the fiance spent a week calling everyone he knew trying to get my friend's phone number. He eventually succeeded and asked my friend about what really happened and on what dates. I was at my friend's house when the fiance called and my buddy was very matter of fact about what happened. The fiance thanked him and hung up.

My friend told me who had called and what the call was about. We then wondered what would happen next when the phone rang again. It was his ex-girlfriend, screaming at him asking him what she had told her fiance. My friend calmly replied that because of the way she broke up with him, he didn't owe her anything and he certainly wasn't going to lie for her. She then began to scream at him so more and he promptly hung up the phone.

My friend then instructed his 10 year old sister to screen his calls (this was before cell phones and caller ID). It was hilarious to hear her say "Umm... my brother doesn't want to talk to you." Good times.

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4. How cold is 10 degrees?

My housemates and I got into a thermostat war. I’d turn it to 20C to be comfortable in my own home. They (a couple) would turn it to 10C to save on the heating bills.

I gave up with the passive aggressive, unspoken war and rewired the thermostat. It stayed at 10C for the rest of the year (which I’d wired to be 20C).

I’d love to see what happens when they move into their own place and expect 10C to be as warm as our place!

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3. Group work is a nightmare

In high school, I was one of the top kids in this class, and so were my 3 other group work partners. We were put together by the teacher so that the slackers would be forced to pull their own weight, and we would get a fair share.

So anyway, me and 2 of the guys in my group are tight. The 4th is a total know-it-all, one-ups everyone, insults the whole group's intelligence, even though we're all about equal. Anyway, this project is BIG, and is supposed to take 3 months.

Me and my 3 friends do our shares and he starts criticizing it, it's not up to par, fix this, fix that... so we say we'll fix it but bottom line, our work is fine. His work is great too, but he can't be satisfied unless he does it himself.

We wait until two weeks before the project is due, and show him our work, it's pretty much complete, but done our way not his. He flips, so we back off and say he can do it himself if he wants. He agrees, and the three of us collaborate and make up his part behind his back.

The week of our presentation comes, he comes up to us and begs for us to share our work. He absolutely physically cannot possibly do this without us. We give him the cold shoulder and totally ignore him, we're pretending we can't hear him. He is absent the rest of the week, and comes in the day of the project.

The teacher calls our group up and only he stands. We tell the teacher he insulted us, was extremely controlling, demanding, and threatened bodily harm. (All true.) Teacher sees this kid's true colors and lets it fly. His project is good, but only about 35% done. He breaks down crying and runs out. In the end he fails the project, we get a 95% with a couple points off for teamwork. For the rest of the year, we pretend we can't hear him.

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2. Maybe you should care more about your kids than WoW

I used to know this guy named Adam. To make a long story short, Adam was a POS.

Anyway, he was living with his brother (we will call him Jess), his other half brother, Jess' mother and my now husband who was living with them at the time. He acted entitled over everything and enjoyed treating people like they were beneath him. He was also nasty towards his love interests and neglectful of his kids.

One particular time, Adam took some left over pizza that my husband was saving for dinner and threw it away because "If I can't have pizza then why should anyone else in this freaking house have it?" My husband was going to kick his butt and I was going to curse him out, but we both didn't want to bring drama towards him and didn't want to disrespect Jess' mother.

So we let our anger bottle up. We decided that it was a great idea to wait until Adam went to the movies with his girlfriend to act out our need for revenge.

You see... they had this nice setup in the basement. It was an entertainment area with several computers lined up next to a TV and game console set up. My husband's computer was on the left. Adam's in the middle and Jess' on the right.

Adam LOVED World Of Warcraft. He was the type of WOW player that put the game first before his responsibilities. Shortly after he left for the theater, we put our plan into motion. We stripped all of Adam's characters of their items. Emptied the auction house, sold some items, deleted other items, gave items and thousands of gold to random players, and split the rest of the loot amongst ourselves.

The best part is when he came back home. I was on the couch watching a movie. My husband and Jess were on their computers playing a game. We all got quiet when Adam came downstairs. We heard the WOW log in music play in the background and tried not to look at his screen. He was quiet at first then started muttering "What the...?" repeatedly. Then he shouted "What the [BLEEP]?"

My husband was the first to speak and asked him what was wrong. Adam showed us all his characters stripped of their items and yelled "SOMEONE HACKED MY ACCOUNT!"

We all looked at his screen and acted shocked. My husband finally spoke up after this moment and said, "Wow, that's really messed up."

Adam then grabbed a phone and ran upstairs to call Blizzard customer support.

When he slammed the door we all burst out laughing.

So good.

So good we did it several months later when he ticked us off. Then one more time when he tried to steal Jess' mother's credit card. After that Adam got one of those authenticators to prevent himself from getting hacked AGAIN.

Fun ruined. Thanks Blizzard.

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1. Don't mess with someone who has all your information

This is pretty bad... I actually don't know if I should be posting this at all, but here it goes.

I used to work in a Verizon store. I'd been there for about a month or so before I had the pleasure of dealing with an infamous eternally cranky woman that would come in every so often. Since she's an actual person out there in the real world, we'll call her Nadine.

Nadine is a very petite lady with fifty kids, she's in her early-mid 30s, and always has this temper that is ridiculous. She stormed in the store, and demanded that my manager help her set up her brand new iPhone. From what I could gather from the situation and the conversation going on, she actually managed to harass the Verizon reps over the phone so much that they replaced her broken droid with a brand new iPhone 4.

So while my manager is setting up her phone for her, he asks me to show her a few cases. She gets snippy with me and insists she doesn't need a case at all. Her droid was pretty solid (until she broke it obviously). I tried to explain to her that the iPhone is made of glass and if dropped it will shatter. "Ma'am (I'm 22. I am not a ma'am.) I do NOT need a case." So I said "fine then. Suit yourself." She was kind of taken aback by my response.

She returned a few months later to pay her phone bill, complaining the entire time that she just HATED her iPhone. When I told her the total for her bill, she went ape.

"WHY IS MY BILL SO HIGH. YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME." "Let me run an account analysis on your account and fi-" "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT. I HAVE KIDS IN THE CAR." "Um, okay." -did all the payment protocol and printed her two receipts- "I REALLY just don't understand why my bill is so FREAKING high. This is BS." "Um... I can find out for you if you..." "Yeah, I already TOLD you, I don't have TIME." She storms out and I scream "HAVE A GREAT EVENING" at the back of her big dumb head.

She comes back about a month later to pay her bill again. She was under the assumption that she didn't have to even pay that month's bill (then why come in?) so, as with a lot of our customers, they assumed we personally ran the company and it was thus MY fault she had an outstanding balance.

I tried to explain to her that she did, in fact, have a bill for this month and it was x amount of dollars. She tried to argue that, because she paid last month, she didn't have to pay this month. (Yeah... I don't know). I was civil and courteous until she personally insulted me. Saying I wasn't a professional, that I was a "[bleeping] liar", etc. so I had had it. "Look, I don't need you talking to me like that. I'm just relaying to you that your bill is overdue and you do in fact have to pay it this month." "THIS IS BS. YOU ARE A DIRTY LIAR."

At this point my coworker gets involved and pretends to be the store manager. This woman continues to verbally harass me and insist I'm a liar and I'm full of crap. She also insists that I be fired on the spot. My coworker finishes out the transaction for me, as this woman SERIOUSLY insisted that I was not allowed to even look at her.

As Verizon reps, we have access to all account info that has been provided by the customer. Address, email, employer, discounts, etc. So later that day I signed her email up for about a dozen or so truly offensive adult website newsletters. I also signed her address up for a free sampler of some random adult magazine. I also quit that month.

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