Students and teachers are often at odds with one another, but oftentimes, they don't realize they are actually more alike than they think. You never know what a person is going through, and these stories prove that—perhaps if people knew what was going on behind closed doors in each others' homes, they'd be a whole lot kinder (or less sympathetic) towards each other...
1. Midnight Games
I had a kid ask me if it was normal for adults to wrestle every night before going to bed.
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2. Off the Grid
My junior year English teacher loved my high school more than anything. He made it his whole life. After I graduated, our new president/principal combo went through and fired almost all the teachers that students loved, including him. After that, he went missing. His favorite book to teach was Into the Wild and I just know he pulled one of those. He was last spotted leaving church.
Then, a duffel bag with his wallet and phone were found abandoned on a beach two hours from where we lived. He was never heard from again.
3. Swimming in Separate Bedrooms
My friend was teaching an improv class to first graders at camp and asked them to name some "everyday activities." First two examples: "Getting divorced!" and "Resuscitating someone after drowning!"
4. How the Tables Turn
At my former high school, the vice principal recently got fired for breaking into people's houses and stealing prescription pills. The worst part? Every time I got in trouble in high school he said that I should look up to him because he was a respectable adult with a good job.
5. Spilling the “T”
From my wife's pre-K class: "That's daddy's new girlfriend. Mommy says she's a slug."
6. Does This Count as Performance Art?
I’m a speech therapist. For the past two to three months, we’ve had a serial poop artist. Some kid will go down to the bathrooms and take a huge dump, then fish it out and leave it on display. So far, they've created five masterpieces. I'm 28, and I cry-laugh every time.
7. Just Say “No,” Dad
One time in fourth grade, a couple of police officers come into the classroom to teach the kids about drugs as part of the D.A.R.E. program. For some reason, they brought in a bunch of drug paraphernalia to show kids what kind of things to avoid. An officer held up a piece and goes, "This here is a crack pipe." Then one of the kids shouted out, "Hey, my dad has one of those!" Thinking he was making a mistake, one of the students said, "Ryan, do you want your dad to get in trouble!?" Ryan replied: "...kinda."
8. Brings New Meaning to Dress Rehearsal
I remember at our school, to promote the plays the drama club put on, all of the actors had to come to school dressed in costume on the premiere day. When we did The Diary of Anne Frank, we had two embarrassed kids walking around the halls in full SS uniforms that day. I don't know why our program thought that would be a good idea.
9. Trim the Details
I was reading a book to a kid (3 1/2) when he stops me to tell me that, "Mommy doesn't like hair on her vagina so she cuts it." We didn't finish the book.
10. That’s a Twist
A beloved teacher and coach got charged for hooking up with a student. The teacher had a wife. The kicker? The student was a guy.
11. Language Is Slippery
I was walking through the store with my friend's kid when she started singing "KY Jelly is a yummy yummy jelly!" as loud as she possibly could over and over.
12. Pet Shop Boys
A girl came to school one day with five bunnies in her book bag, and by the end of the day had sold every bunny for $25 apiece. Every day, teachers would be stopping kids and looking through book bags and lunchboxes. It was chaos. And the bunnies were still being sold! Occasionally you'd see someone with a lump in their jacket with an ear poking out—bunny. A cracked lunchbox—bunny.
Eventually, this turned into a full black market bunny selling ring. The leader had recruited other sellers, and they had designated bunny-trading spots. Our school is infamous for gangs and dealing, so this was a pleasant surprise to most. Over time, the bunny selling trickled to a stop, but occasionally one still pops up.
13. Unfair Game
A kindergarten teacher I know once had a student who drew a picture of himself and his father hunting deer. His stick figure had a flashlight, and his father had a gun. He had the teacher write at the bottom, "I hold the flashlight while my daddy shoots the deer." For those of you who don't live in Appalachia, shining a flashlight in a deer's eyes immobilizes them and is illegal.
14. Cruel and Unusual Punishment
After two kids were late, one of the coaches made one of them do sit-ups…into the other’s bare butt. As a result, the school got hit with a huge lawsuit.
15. Uber Incorrect
When my son was 3, he told me he wanted to ride a lesbian. I about pissed myself laughing. For the record, he was trying to say limousine.
16. Music of the Heart
A friend of mine does routes for a music company and drops off supplies and picks up instruments that need repairs. A teacher handed him a clarinet that was in a plastic baggie. When he found out why, he was utterly appalled. Apparently, a guy had...pleasured himself with a girl’s clarinet because he liked her.
The student now has to pay for the instrument because the repair guy won't touch it and the school is withholding his diploma until the family can buy a new clarinet.
17. Face the Facts
I'm a counselor at a summer camp. One kid was playing in the mud. When we asked him to stop, he stood up, and smeared it on his face, like battle paint. He proceeds to shout, "MY DADDY SAYS IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU LOOK NICE AS LONG AS YOU LOOK LIKE A BADASS." The kid was 7 years old.
18. I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me
A teacher got walked out by admin yesterday and put on leave. It happened right after his car got stolen by two students who had walked around his desk and grabbed his keys during class. I raised an eyebrow, because why would anyone be put on administrative leave for that? Then I found out the dark truth. It turns out that he had installed surveillance software on his computer and set up a camera to record his room.
When he found out his car had been stolen, he went all vigilante tracking down and threatening the kid who he thought did it.
19. Mistress and Master of Disguise
I had a child tell me that his mom and dad both like to play dress up at home. The description of their "costumes" made it quite clear that this was private time dress up. Made for a few interesting interactions with the parents throughout the year.
20. Sweet Revenge
Last year, a kid shoved a lollipop into some other kid's ear. Not a big deal, right? Well, it busted his eardrum as it started bleeding and supposedly he couldn't hear properly for the rest of the semester.
21. I’ll Drink to That
My little brother is a very articulate and mature little boy. When he was 5 years old, his teacher was telling the class about her dog, who she had to put down. A little later the kids were cutting out pictures from magazines for some project, when my brother walked over to the teacher with a picture of a wine glass he had cut out. He handed it to her and said, "Sorry about your dog."
22. Mess Around and Find Out
This was something I witnessed in my grade 10 art class. These two kids enrolled in my school midway through the semester, they both had reputations that followed them. They also made reputations for themselves at this school just doing things that make you disliked. Trash-talking the jocks because they're jocks, messing around with girls, thinking they're cool/better than people, etc.
So they were both in my art class. We sat in a U-shape and I was directly across from them at the ends of the U. One of them is running his mouth like usual when the art teacher gets up from his desk. He's a big dude, 6'2” tall, I'm thinking 200-220lbs. He skulks around his desk and makes his way towards the end of the U-shape.
Then, mid-sentence, he grabs the guy talking trash in a headlock, pulls him over his chair, then plants him on his back and then yells "BOOM THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE!" and walks away. Everyone in the room is just staring speechless at each other and then laughter erupts.
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23. Where There’s Smoke
My nephew apparently told his teacher in kindergarten that his mommy and daddy would have friends over and pass around a cigarette to each other.
24. Those Influencers…
A seventh-grader who already failed once made an announcement about her upcoming abortion debate. This led many to ask the question “Who’s the baby daddy?” Her answer? “Some dude from Instagram.”
25. Treeing Up the Wrong Bark
A second-grade class was planting a tree for Arbor Day. They do it every year with the help of a landscaper. He lets them each take a shovel and move dirt to the tree, so they all have a part in the actual planting. One kid says matter-of-fact, "I've done this before." All proud of himself. The landscaper nods along and says "Oh, really?" The kid goes "YEA, WHEN WE BURIED MY DOG!" Still with a proud attitude. The landscaper replies "Well, I hope this is more fun." The kid agrees. Not the most revealing conversation a kid would have, but I still got a chuckle from it.
26. The First Rule of Student Fight Club Is…
I’m a teacher and one of my coworkers got fired one day. Then, an angry mob of parents turned up to beat the heck out of him on an ordinary, sunny Tuesday. When I found out the reason why, my blood ran cold. It turns out this guy was making his students fight in this sort of tournament. The winners would receive a perfect grade that semester. Some of the kids got hurt really bad.
He'll never be able to teach again and he had to leave town because everyone wanted to hurt him. Rumors say that the videos are online, but I haven't bothered to look.
27. Road Rage
My mom used to babysit a set of twins, a boy and a girl, One day, they were playing together in one of those kiddie car things. They were maybe 4 or 5 years old, and suddenly she shouts at him while he's inside the car "YOU’RE DRIVING IT WRONG, WOMAN!!!!" I’m guessing she picked up the exact phrase from her dad.
28. Forced Out of the Closet
We have a gay male student who was beaten up by a group of the tough jocks for telling all of his friends about having a crush on one of the top sports players in the school. But then, the truth came out. As it turns out, he had been secretly meeting this guy in parking lots and secret locations for months for hookups. After the jock let his friends beat him up for the "rumors," he posted screenshots of their conversations and NSFW pics on all social media platforms for the whole student body to read.
29. Gateway Cuddles
The funniest and slightly sad one that occurred was when I was teaching first grade. One of the little girls in my class—who was absolutely sweet and adorable—got picked up by her dad and his girlfriend. The two adults were doing some serious snogging outside (butt grabbing included) in full view of my class. I went up to them and asked them politely to knock it off. The daughter then says out loud, "But Miss A, at least they aren't naked this time!"
30. The L-Word: High School Edition
My fellow teachers and I noticed that the female students had been highly interested in each other, and we joked with one another that we thought experimentation happened in college. Only later did we find out what was really happening. A parent came in to ask her daughter's teachers, principal, and counselor for advice on what to do with her child.
That’s how we found out that her daughter had not been coming home at night because she and all her friends were hooking up.
31. Jurisprudence from Junior
While discussing how to take care of Legos, a first-grade student chimes in: “And if you steal even one Lego from Ms. So-and-so's room you'll go to juvie, and they'll put pepper spray in your eye, and it will hurt for a week.”
32. Happy Hour
My mom used to make wine and keep it in the pantry while it was sitting or fermenting or whatever it is that wine does. Anyway, she was in the pantry siphoning the wine from one container to the next. The phone rings and I answer it. From the pantry, my mom hears me say "My mom's in the pantry drinking wine, she can't come to the phone."
33. Trial by Fire
At my friend's high school, a first-year teacher had a tile broken over his head. He had students who wanted to "act hard" in class, even though the school was in a fairly well-to-do neighborhood. So they would pull the fire alarms in his class—he was in a small temporary building outside—pour water on his computer, throw desks, etc.
Even with all of that, the principals never did anything for him: They never answered a disciplinary referral and they would never remove the worst kids from his classroom. All they would do is yell at him to "learn to control his class." From what I heard, they're now liable to see legal action since this teacher had multiple stitches in his head and a concussion.
34. A Grab Bag of Wrong
Once in fifth grade, at the YMCA after-school program, a first grader (girl) came from the side of me and grabbed my junk as I was talking with a friend. A counselor witnessed this, told her she was wrong, and asked why she did that. The little girl said, "That's what my mommy does to my daddy before he goes to work."
35. Art Star
Back when I was in high school the most dramatic thing I can remember happening is someone drawing an enormous—like a hundred meters long—dick on our sports field with weed-killer. The field was in a lowered area from the main school buildings; you had to take quite a lot of stairs to get to it, so you got a really good view of the whole thing whenever you were at the school and walking past.
36. Quote Bank
Two quotes from my wife's daycare:
"My daddy has a HUGE penis!"
"My mommy is picking me up because my daddy is in jail!"
37. Don’t Stand So Close to Me
When I was a senior in high school, I noticed that the Latin teacher constantly looked at me like he liked me. I didn't even take Latin. The thing was that he was older, and not remotely attractive. One day I was home at my parents' house on a Sunday. The phone rang—I couldn’t believe it. The old geezer called me. He propositioned me.
I told him to screw off and slammed the phone down. I kinda felt sorry for him because he was probably terrified that I'd get him fired. I never told anybody. A while later, I saw him in a public place pushing his wife, who was in a wheelchair. We locked eyes and kept walking.
38. Don’t Go Too Fast
My wife teaches second grade here are a few from her. One kid couldn’t take a shower one morning because his parents were in there. Another kid said her parents were "racing" in their bed.
39. Spice Up Your Life
Last year we had a girl start randomly pepper-spraying people in the library. It turns out she had snapped after she found out her ex-boyfriend had been hooking up with her mother during and after the relationship—a whole legal bullet was dodged there because he was 18 when it all started. At first, it was just a Twitter beef when she found out.
Then, it escalated to the point where she went to confront him over this, armed with pepper spray, and one way or another had a nervous breakdown, snapped, and then went to pepper spray everyone in the library. I heard that she had been told he was there. She ended up leaving the school after the incident and the guy got suspended, but it was a mess for the school's PR.
I honestly felt bad for her because I'd had a class with her and she was always really nice and it seemed like a super awful situation had just brought the absolute worst in her.
40. Paternal Malpractice
I said, “Trust me, I'm a doctor” to a kid, then all eyes turned to me. They asked, “Are you really a doctor?” I replied, “No it's just a saying.” Then one boy, without looking up from his work, says, “My daddy pretended to be a doctor...he got in trouble.”
41. Twist Ending
I work in IT support for a school. Being as unspecific as possible, but a kid had his school provided tablet rescinded for having DDoSing software, network penetration software, and even software for doxxing on it. This kid is 11 years old. Anyway, he kept coming back into the office asking for his account/tablet back, which was obviously a no. Then he suddenly stopped. We thought he'd just given up.
Nope, turns out he and his family have upped and left to Iraq. Welp. That was both unexpected and terrifying.
42. Treeing Up the Wrong Bark
A second-grade class was planting a tree for Arbor Day. They do it every year with the help of a landscaper. He lets them each take a shovel and move dirt to the tree, so they all have a part in the actual planting. One kid says matter-of-fact, "I've done this before." All proud of himself. The landscaper nods along and says "Oh, really?" The kid goes "YEA, WHEN WE BURIED MY DOG!" Still with a proud attitude. The landscaper replies "Well, I hope this is more fun." The kid agrees. Not the most revealing conversation a kid would have, but I still got a chuckle from it.
43. Party of Two
Earlier this semester, a cafeteria worker who a ton of people loved passed away suddenly, leaving her two kids—one senior and one freshman—with their alcoholic dad. The mom's side of the family, last I heard, are taking care of them. Since then, our entire town has had a ton of fundraisers and still has a fund for them. I barely see the oldest son, who I assume doesn't show up because that's some seriously heavy stuff to deal with during that transition out of school.
44. The Weight of the World Off Her Hips
"Mommy had to miss my camp recital because she was getting surgery to make her more skinny."
45. Disappearing Act
I had a close circle of friends. There was myself, Matt, Mitch, and a girl named Amal. Amal was Muslim, but acted like the polar opposite. Lots of makeup, black metal shirts, pot, and she dated Mitch. Mitch, while a great guy, was not a parent's dream. They dated for a few months, then Mitch texted me out of the blue freaking out.
It turns out that Amal's parents found out about Mitch and were not happy. I messaged her to see if she was okay, and she told me her parents were threatening to take her back to Pakistan. The next day, her Facebook was deleted. She had sent Mitch one last text, telling him how much she loved him, how her parents were kidnapping her, and how scared she was.
Mitch was livid, and called her dad. Mitch said her dad told him to never speak to their family again, and that Amal needed to be punished for dishonoring their family. Mitch tried for months to get a hold of her. None of us ever heard or saw her again. Amal was wonderful, and did not deserve whatever awaited her. I sometimes wonder if I could have done something different, but she was gone in a matter of hours.
46. A Little Suggestion
I'm not a teacher, but this is actually a story about me which my mother loves to tell people. When I was very young, about 4 years old, a woman cut the queue after my mother and I had been waiting for a good bit of time. It was a doctor's office, so the queue was pretty long. Having been raised with manners, I tapped the lady on the back and said we were meant to be in front of her because we were waiting.
She got snotty with my mother and I got annoyed, telling her that my mother was a smart lady. When she asked how she was so smart, I proudly exclaimed, “She can take her teeth out to brush them!” Nobody talks smack about my momma, not now, not then. Another time, a neighbor was cutting our hedges with my father, to return a favor, and I was around four or so again. I came in and told him that he “made a bollocks of them, Daddy said so.” My parents are so proud of me.
47. Create a Diversion!
Our prom turned into a huge debacle. One girl took a pregnancy test at the dance and was confirmed pregnant. She then screamed at her sister for telling everyone and they got into a huge cat fight on the dance floor—but that's just the beginning of the insanity. During the fight, one of the tweakers goes through everyone's purses and jackets and steals credit cards and phones, flushing the SIM cards down the toilet.
No one would've noticed if he hadn't stopped right outside the door and started smoking on school property. The principal called the cops on him and they searched him. The dance ended early with a lot of angry parents and one pregnant girl.
48. Flipping the Bird
I'm a dance teacher, and a little girl once told me she and her family had a pet bird that had recently died. She was very distraught and said, "Daddy was bringing it outside to bury it, and dropped it...and then Mommy accidentally kicked it and it hit a wall." It took everything in my power not to burst out laughing at such a visual.
49. The Mixologist
I had a friend in high school who was convinced he was the first person to ever think of pretending vodka was water, and that it was impossible for him to be caught doing this. He got caught the first day he did it because he filled the bottle up to the top with vodka. He waited until lunch for some reason, bought a carton of orange juice and made an incredibly disgusting screwdriver with it, at like a 10:1 vodka to OJ ratio.
He then chugged the entire thing during lunch, puked everywhere, and passed out. So, yeah. He definitely got caught.
50. He Got Off On a Technicality
I just got done vaguely learning about drugs and alcohol at school, with my newfound knowledge, I vowed to be drug-free. My dad worked for a Heineken at the time, and I knew that was beer, which I was taught is alcohol, which is a drug. Cue sharing time, we're sitting in a circle talking about what our parents do, I was the first one to start.
I started telling them that my dad worked for a beer company when it dawned on me...my dad was a drug dealer! I started crying and couldn't articulate my words but what I did spit out was "MY DAD SELLS DRUGS." Needless to say, my parents were called to the school and laughs were had all around when they finally got me to calm down enough to explain why I said that.
51. Teen Privilege
My class's valedictorian got away with everything. She had a public relationship with a teacher, cheated on math tests, and was a drunk driver on the weekends when she was a minor. She dropped out of college after the "free" year and shacked up with the teacher, but left him after he became abusive. She's back home with her crazy mom, taking night classes. The years of partying make her look 42 instead of 22.
52. My Mom the Commando
In fourth grade, my mom and teacher were talking about an upcoming class trip, one of those that lasts like three days, and she was asking what she needed to pack for me and he says the usual stuff blah blah. And then my mother decides to try to be funny and say "and lots of underwear, you know how moms love to pack underwear," to which I responded, "but mommy, you don't wear any underwear." My mom practically ran out of there!
53. Forgiven and Forgotten
The high school I used to go to has made the newspaper for something bad nearly every year since it opened. The craziest story was about one of the teachers, who we’ll call Ted, getting caught for repeatedly hooking up with one of his students. Ted was a young very attractive guy. He coached cross country, taught the highest level math, and was loved by pretty much everyone. Long story short, he was sent to jail and the girl transferred—but the story doesn’t end there.
Fast forward three years, I'm at a concert with a big group, including these college girls. Everyone got drunk but me, and I started talking to the college girls. Apparently, one of the girls was actually engaged to Ted. She told me that she had forgiven Ted for hooking up with a student “because he was high at the time.” The reason he wasn’t at the concert with us? He was in jail for possession of illegal substances. What a winner.
54. Let’s Not Play Dress Up
Former Catholic school teacher here. The first-grade teacher at the school I taught at was a nun—Sister Katherine, I believe. She had a particularly naughty little girl in her class one year, prone to tantrums, trouble following directions, hitting others and herself, throwing fits and the like. Apparently, after refusing an instruction given to her and being threatened to call her father, the little girl announced to Sister Katherine with a devilish grin that "My daddy says he'd looOOOoove to see you in a bikini."
55. Falling Out and Falling Down
There are these two girls who were best friends. One girl, Cammy, ditched the other, Carey, to hang out with a dude, and Carey got mad. The next day, Cammy complained of a headache, and Carey told her she had something for her. Instead of ibuprofen or whatever, she gave Cammy two Xanax. When she left class to get water to take them, Carey then planted something illegal in her bag—we don’t know what.
Carey then reported Cammy to the assistant principal—but then her blood pressure dropped from the Xanax and she had to be hospitalized. Carey had told other friends her plan, so she’s now in huge trouble and will likely be expelled.
56. Opening a Cold One With the Boy
I was babysitting a 2-year-old kid and we were playing restaurant. He ordered a salad, a burger with extra fries, and a beer on a napkin. He's gonna be an awesome adult.
57. Emo v Goth: Dawn of Eyeliner
My final year of school the goth thing was pretty much over and the emo thing was at its height. A couple of the senior kids still considered themselves goth and did not like the emo kids. Anyways, there was these three emo girls, who were pretty much universally not liked by anyone. They seemed to be emo for the sake of the attention, and would actually call out other emo kids for not looking as good as them. They were pretty much the mean girls of emo.
As I said, the Goths hated the emos, and the emos hated the emo mean girls. Around Chrismas time, arguments were breaking out in front of everyone. One of the mean girls ended up getting jumped and left the school. She was one of the main reasons why a big group of friends no longer talked to each other anymore.
I think about month before the summer, these two emo mean girls were causing trouble and running their mouths at the goths. The goths got a hold of one of them after school and pretty much beat the living tar out of her. She was actually hospitalized and there was a rumor was she was thrown head first into a wall and had her eye socket knocked out of place. A bunch of goths were expelled from the school, the police were involved.
Of course, all the normal kids collectively said, "What the heck?!" It was all that was talked about during the final few weeks of the year.
58. Trading on Up
I'm not a teacher, but my aunt got remarried and we all went out to eat. My little cousin has the most country redneck accent you will ever hear, and she yells out "We caant fiiind my daddy anywhere, so I got me a new one!" the entire restaurant was in tears from laughing so hard.
59. Some Things You Can’t Unsee
In year 10 media studies, we had to make a short film for assessment. One group of two guys and a girl decide to make a film where the girl gives birth to a live kitten. It was a very graphic depiction and once everyone found out about it, she didn't live it down until she eventually dropped out of school.
60. Something Blue
I was just at a quickly put together wedding last weekend. The niece was passing out bubbles. She'd say, "Instead of throwing things at the bride, we're going to blow bubbles at her." A friend commented that it wouldn't be very nice to throw the bubbles at the bride, it might give her bruises. The niece replied, "The groom has already given her bruises."
61. Side Quest
Recently two people at my high school got into some drama. It ended up with one of them dumping a jar of baby powder that was supposed to resemble an illegal white powdered substance on the other. One of our teachers called the police and got the dogs to sniff around. They very quickly discovered that it was baby powder—but then the dogs made another discovery.
At least 12 other students had illegal substances in their lockers and they all got busted. Just like, 15% of the class in one fell swoop, gone.
62. I Gave You My Mom’s Number
When my mom took my sister shopping when she was young, she would go up to random strangers and proudly tell them my mom’s age. "Hello. My mom is 39!"
63. Hypocrisy in Action
I used to go to a Catholic high school. One day, one of the most beloved guidance counselors was very suddenly suspended without pay and fired. Like one day here, the next day gone. When I found out the reason why she was fired, I was heartbroken. She was let go because she's married to a woman. It turns out her sister-in-law got upset and forwarded some wedding pictures to my school.
They fired her because it "went against Catholic morals" or something like that. But, the guidance counselor is now suing my school for discrimination, not because they fired her for being gay, but because they haven’t fired any other teachers for "going against Catholic morals." There were divorced teachers, another gay teacher, a few who had kids out of wedlock, and one who got her naked pics leaked.
As a result, the president and principal were suspended by the archdiocese. The case is on its way to trial.
64. Cut Out for the Classroom
I was in fourth grade. The teacher asked, “What do we call the distance all the way around the outside of the circle?” The class began yelling out a bunch of wrong answers. That’s when I yelled “CIRCUMCISION!” And of course, I was the only one who actually raised my hand and got the teacher's attention before answering.
65. Double Life
I had this girl start at my high school and joined up with our clique pretty quickly, named Fatima. She'd been in Australia for eight years, originally from Lebanon. Absolutely stunning girl—truth be told 16-year-old me was infatuated with her—and her younger sister Semra was a looker too. She always shied away from dating though, as did her sister, saying her old man was pretty strict. Not uncommon for the area I grew up in, very high concentration of Fundamentalist Muslims, so we left it at that.
What we didn't know at first was that Semra and Fatima would get to school uber early—dropped off by her father—go into the ladies’ toilets, remove her hijab and chuck her makeup on. We didn't think much of it, although we knew that was pretty taboo. We were just the stoners that hung out behind the gym, y'know? Anyway, one day we see her having a huge screaming match at recess with a bloke a year up from us.
He's stormed off as we came up. She was visibly shaken, it turns out the bloke recognized her from the local mosque and was incensed she didn't have her traditional kit on. Then lunchtime, I go to our regular spot just in time to see the drama. Fatima's dad is dragging Fatima to his car by the hair kicking and screaming. We never saw her again after he threw her in the car. Semra attended for another week, with her hijab on, before she disappeared too.
She wouldn't tell us what happened to Fatima, and this was long before Internet was readily available. I still think about what happened to her on occasion, and where she was now.
66. Hangovers With Grandma
When I was 4 or 5 years old I went to spend the weekend at my grandmother's house. One thing my grandmother and I did every day was have a "cocktail" (what my grandmother calls grape juice mixed with ginger ale) and lay down for a nap together on the couch. Apparently, I had no idea what a cocktail really was, so the next day when I went to daycare, we were sitting in a circle saying what we did on the weekend. My innocent 4/5-year-old self told the daycare workers that I had a cocktail with my grandmother and then we laid down for a long nap.
67. The Moment of Truth
There was this kid a year behind me who wanted to fight me for some reason. He'd come at me in the halls, at lunch break, etc. and try to start stuff. I avoided him as long as I could, but one day he pushed me up against a wall and wouldn't back down. So, without even dropping my books, I clocked him across the jaw. Hard.
He stormed off, talking smack. One of my friends said he may have been crying. Later that day, I was in shop class. One of the baddest kids in school was in the class. He came up and tapped me on the shoulder. What he said made my blood run cold. He told me: "I heard you punched out my little brother today."
Oh no. "Yeah," I stammered..."I kinda did." His reply blew my mind. He said: "Good...the little jerk deserved it."
68. The Burned Book
Not a teacher...but this daycare that my cousin's daughter used to go to put together this cookbook to sell as a fundraiser. It was all the kids' favorite recipes; not written down and brought from home but in their own words. A bunch of the recipes had steps like "then you put it in the microwave because Mommy doesn't like to use the oven" or "then you play in your room until it's time to eat because Mommy doesn't like to be bothered when her friends are over." They were pretty funny.
69. DIY Renovations
I work at an alternative high school in the inner city. My school is surrounded by eight abandoned houses/warehouses and a burnt down church. We serve 100% at-risk students in a 14-26 program, and at one point several students were older than me. My first year teaching our preschool program was shot up in a drive by, and to this day they still have to cover the bullet holes in the concrete with book shelves because the school won't pay to have them fixed.
You can see clear daylight through them.
70. Thanks for the Character Summary
Not a teacher but my uncle’s son (my cousin) said that "Daddy is unemployed and drinks beer."
71. Hit List
He was a really strange guy, I didn't really know who he was before the whole thing went off, but people were always cracking jokes about him being autistic and a very open supporter of really bad, problematic stuff. He left school after completing his basic qualifications and nobody thought of him once he'd gone.
A year or so later, the news surfaced that he'd been found the woods with a machete. When police went back and searched his home they found a diary of really detailed revenge plans for the school, including which order he'd take out the teachers and students. There were also weapons and materials to make explosives.
Videos of him throwing Molotov cocktails in the woods surfaced later on. This was all classified info because he was a minor but everyone found out about it through acquaintances and neighbors since he lived near to the school. There was a super injunction to protect his identity, so we used to talk about him in class and make sick jokes about it to wind up the teachers.
It was pretty funny to see the color drain out of their faces when you said his name, but I guess we were trying to make what could have been a horrible possibility seem less heavy. My terrible school should have looked after him better. If they had intervened, it might not have gone as far as it did.
72. A Matter of Taste
I'm sure my parents must have hated me as a kid. In school, I was in a head-start/preschool type deal. Somehow, when I told the teachers about my mom’s smoking cigarettes, I got my words mixed up and told them she did drugs. She was not impressed. Then there was the time we had to write a little fact sheet about our family. Including favorite foods. The only food I could at that age recall my father getting excited about was this thing his hunter friend brought to work. It was a type of animal he had never eaten before. Beaver. So as a kid, I told my teachers and my class my father's favorite food was beaver.
73. It’s Raining Chairs, Hallelujah
My school has a huge blacktop, and the second floor overlooks the whole blacktop. One day two girls were arguing. One of the girls was on the second floor, and the other was on the blacktop. I’m not sure what they were arguing about, I think it was Facebook beef over a boyfriend or something. In the middle of the argument the girl on the second floor paused and went into the nearest classroom and grabbed a chair.
She then chucked the chair over the second floor railing, aiming for the girl she was arguing with, but things quickly spun out of control. She missed and hit some guy walking by instead. I heard the guy who got hit had to go to the hospital and ended up suing the school. As for the two girls, they were expelled.
For months afterward, there was a lot of rainy weather, and everyone made jokes about bringing an umbrella to school to avoid falling chairs.
74. Girls Night In
My wife's a teacher. One of her students: "My mom's nasty, she sleeps with girls in her bed."
75. Call the Exorcist
One time a girl's head suddenly fell back over while we were watching a movie. She was growling half loud, but we couldn't make it out because of the movie. I saw it first but brushed it off as her doing a "whatever" roll with her head—but then I realized something was horribly wrong. Her head didn't go back to a normal position.
It just stayed there. None of the other girls sitting next to her noticed. Her eyes and mouth were open and staring, but somehow focused at nothing. Her moans/growls got louder and now everyone else noticed. I even got scared and stood up, so my chair backed out with a loud screech. Of course, being my immature self I knew just sitting and staring wouldn't help, but I didn’t know what else to do.
The teacher "took" her out of class and the teacher’s aide told us to stay seated and watch the movie, that all was under control. I know now that was garbage, but I just accepted it and let the day go on. Later they brushed it off as her not eating/drinking enough. I find it difficult to believe as she didn't pass out. She was awake, eyes moving but without anyone being home. She said she doesn't remember anything, as if she just fell asleep and woke up later on.
76. When Toys Aren’t for Kids
We were talking about the difference between men and women, men have penises and women don't, blah blah blah. That one boy goes “My mum has a penis too,” and we are going “Oh no sweetie she doesn't,” but he insists, and it starts becoming uncomfortable. After a while he says, “my mum HAS a penis, only it is not attached to her body, she keeps it in the drawer by the bed.” Kid-logic is so precious.
77. Occam’s Razor
We had a teacher just disappear one day. Like, all his stuff was removed from the classroom and they had a sub ready to replace him. Leading theories included disastrous divorce, that he took his own life, and cancer. You know, all the stupid bizarre theories that kids come up with when something like this happens. Later, the dark truth came out.
What had actually happened was that he had an inappropriate relationship with a student. He was respected enough that they let him quietly "resign" instead of making a big deal out of it. He was a really good teacher, wouldn't be surprised if he got another job right quick.
78. A Critical Hit
When I was about 3 or 4 years old, my dad would take me to class with him. He was enrolled in a graduate program in psychology. I'd sit at or under the desks and color. One day, they were discussing spanking. My dad announced to the class, "I don't spank my daughter." From the back of the room, little me sing-songed, "OH YES YOU DO!" The truth is, he had done it a couple of times in my life but did not resort to that as a rule.
79. Hitting Every Possible Phase
In seventh grade there was this girl who apparently couldn't feel pain, so she was pretty successful as our goalie during our soccer unit in gym class. Just a few weeks later, she started to tell everyone she was pregnant. I'm not exactly sure how, but within a few days everyone found out she was lying about it.
The day after the truth broke out, she returned to school with part of her head shaved and part dyed blue, refusing to talk to anyone. If anyone approached her she'd respond by threatening to be their "worst nightmare."
80. This Impression Doesn’t Hold Water
My little brother once went to nursery and told his teachers about how his dad acts at home. To demonstrate, he pretended to drink from a bottle, loudly said "glug, glug, glug" then fell over backward. My step-dad isn't at all an alcoholic, and hardly ever drinks, especially not at home.
Pixabay
81. Mixed Nuts
My best friend in high school was very conservative Christian girl but I was also fairly close friends with a gay dude. I was bi and at the time, was out to my guy friend but no one else in the school. Well anyway, this dude lets it spill to some friends that I'm bi and have a crush on a girl named Alicia. Most people didn't care, but it got back to my best friend and she freaked out about me hiding it from her—while claiming I wasn't going to get into heaven.
She was hysterically asking about who Alicia was and why didn't I tell her about it, etc. But the twist is, there was no Alicia. When I questioned my guy friend about it, he swore I'd confessed my feelings for a girl named Alicia and that he remembered it clearly, then got mad at me for "lying" by denying that I was in love with this girl, while my best friend kept harassing me about it too but in a prejudiced way. Both of these two friends of mine also hated each other. What a mess.
82. Sharing Is Caring a Lot
Our second-grade teacher had her class say something about their family. One of the little boys described the details of his parents swinging lifestyle with another family in the town who had a few kids of their own. He was blissfully ignorant of exactly what he was describing. Apparently out of the 5 kids total between the families (3 / 2 split) no one is really sure who is whose father. So they all are the other family's “half-brothers and sisters.” After revealing all of this to the class, his “half-sister” who is in the same class says, "You weren't supposed to tell anyone!"
83. A Black and White Issue
I went to a small high school—like, about 60 people in each class small. So everyone knew everyone's business. Anyway, I played football and at the end of each season you could purchase your jersey if you wanted. The one guy, Mike, bought both the home jersey (black) and away (white). Sometimes the girls would wear their boyfriend’s jersey.
This always caused some awesome drama‚ but one year was the craziest by far. One Friday were allowed to dress down. Two girls showed up, both wearing Mike's jersey. One had the black jersey, the other girl had the white one. There was always the talk about which one he was dating because he bounced between the two.
They both knew about the other, but drama always ensued about who the "main" girl was. Well, jersey day settled it. At lunch, the girl in the white jersey fought the girl in the black jersey, because she got to wear the home jersey—apparently it meant more.
84. Silly Rabbit, Tricks Are for Kids
I was 15 or 16 and teaching the 2- and 3-year-olds at church. It was Easter, and one little boy comes in crying up a storm. Nothing that my friend and I do can console him. About halfway through he stops and just sniffles. At the end when the parents come and pick them up, he sees his dad and starts crying again, telling his dad that he doesn't want anything to do with him. His mom comes and gets him, and my friend and I tell her about her son. She was trying SO HARD not to laugh and told us why. The boy’s dad hit a rabbit on the way to church this morning, and the boy started to cry, thinking it was the Easter Bunny.
85. Flipper
There were many rumors floating around about me in high school. No idea why. But my absolute favorite had to be that I had webbed toes. Of all the things to lie about honestly I have no idea what that person was thinking when they made it up. At first, I attempted to dispel it by showing people who asked, but after while I decided to let people think whatever they want about my feet.
86. In a Hurry
Kid in seventh grade sees bomb threat on a stall door. Runs down the hall with his pants down screaming to his teacher.
87. The Long And Winding Road
I became very sad and depressed when a kid in one of my classes casually told me that he and his little brother were living alone because both of their parents had been sent back to their home country over an immigration paperwork issue. Their childhoods have been totally disrupted by something that was never their fault.
88. A Load of…
When my crush and I were dissecting a frog and he told me he liked my best friend. As a result, I squeezed the frog’s poop bag by accident. Worst day ever.
89. Teaching The Real Lesson
I had a teacher back in high school who on the first day told us, in fact almost begged us, to talk to him if we ever needed help. He basically told the class that there were at least five kids in our class living in poverty and probably more dealing with some kind of awful circumstance. He said that each of our lives is more important than anything he needs to teach from the social studies textbook.
He also added that he doesn’t want to see any more kids flunk classes because you’re “too busy watching your mom and making sure she doesn’t overdose,” or “going to work after school because your family can’t pay the bills.” I’ll never forget the shock on the class’ faces because the area I lived in had half the kids driving BMWs to school and the other half waiting in line at the food bank to eat.
I remember little from school, but I never forgot that man's words. Luckily, I ran into him recently at a restaurant. I politely and discreetly thanked him for that lesson, then paid for his and his partner’s meals discreetly. I will continue to take his words to heart by taking a little deeper of a look at the people I meet and remembering that there’s always two sides to every story.
90. Holding Out for a Hero
There was a teacher at my high school who was having relationship problems with his wife. So he hired/convinced some students to break into his house and bind up his wife while he was out for a walk. The idea was that he would arrive home and be the hero of the situation. He ended up going to jail.
91. Harsh Circumstances
I taught in an area with a lot of gang fighting. My first-grade student was telling me about his family and said, “My daddy got shot.” Another kid heard him from across the table and said, “My daddy got shot too!” These were two of the smartest first graders I’ve ever met, and it devastated me to think of their future as children of color in a gang-ridden impoverished city.
92. What Lies Beneath
Just last year, I had a girl in my 11th grade class. Very bright, studious, had two other girls she usually was with, but overall not very noticeable. The thing is, she was absent a lot, to the point where she was only at school for a day a week or less. It was quite troublesome, as her parents didn’t ever send a mail or write a note for why she had been gone from school, but as stated earlier, she was pretty smart, so her grades didn't suffer that much.
I used to talk to her after classes to ask her what was going on, but she would usually just apologize politely and promise she would do better. Fast forward to around Christmas time and she hadn’t been to school for two weeks. That month was exam month, and she was missing out on a lot of prep days she needed to be present at. Fed up, I marched to the principal's office and told him her absence was really ruining for her, and that I should call the parents and inform them of the consequences, as is norm in the situation.
To my surprise, the principal was completely against it. That’s when he told me the dark truth. As it turns out, her parents had arranged for the girl to be married away to a man from her homeland against her will. The reason she had been gone those two weeks was because she had been picked up by child services and had been moved to a safe location. Shortly after it was revealed she had been absent all those days because her parents wanted her to stay home and take care of them, not because she was sick.
She was abused by her parents, and she was constantly monitored so she couldn't stay at school after hours or do other activities like hang out with friends. She didn't realize any of this was wrong until her friends at school talked to her about it. So this wasn't really drama, but it was quite a shock for me and all her teachers when we were told.
It’s been a year now and she's doing great. She got a restraining order against her parents and she got a little dog she saved from a shelter. But its safe to say that she'll never have the life a normal 16-year-old is supposed to have, and that makes my blood boil, but she is very grateful for her new life it seems and she's safe, and that's all that matters.
93. Getting Answers
When I was in sex-ed class in the seventh grade, during a Question and Answer session with the teacher, a girl once asked a question that made us realize her dad was assaulting her. He ended up behind bars over it, but you could tell that it was a super awkward moment for the teacher considering the whole class found out about it at the same time.
94. Journalistic Responsibility
One of our teachers was sending spicy texts to a student and had a photo of her on his phone—she was 18. One student stole his phone and saw the photo and reported it. The high school was in a high class area, so everything had to be perfect and without blemish on their reputation. This was a pretty darn big blemish.
The teacher got notified by one of his buddies that he was under review, and he left that night. He drove to his hometown and told his parents about what had happened. By this time, his face was already published and that he was on the run. The details of what he did with his parents aren't there, but he shot himself a few hours later.
The police and some other law school and enforcement came to the school and kept all of the girls in the class after school for questioning. Now here's where it gets pretty crazy, and this is from my point of view. I was the "video anchor" for our schools’ announcements. We had a news-like setup, so reporting the news was something I have been doing for at least two years before then.
I saw everyone was sharing the link to news articles, but I decided to take it a step further. Since the articles were all over the place and you didn't know which ones were legit, I put the legit ones in one Facebook post and also put a summary of the article under each post. I kept updating the post and it became the central source for information.
Then all of a sudden, to everyone else, it just disappeared. I got called down to the room where we recorded the news, and my teacher, all of the principles, and the campus police all were there telling me what I was doing was "immoral" and "unethical" and "what if the family sees it." I replied with "If [family name] messages me I will remove it." I had done my research and found out who the girl was.
This went on and on. In the end, I was basically forced to delete my post, which was replaced with this one: "Sorry to everyone I offended with my post. I didn't mean to cause harm. The post was taken down by request of [school name here]." I think it was a nice passive aggressive response. And that was that.
I had said teacher’s class next, so I followed her to the room and she gave a very passive aggressive speech about not talking about what happened in class or we will get sent to the assistant principal. The entire time she didn't glance at me once, but most of the class knew it was about me.
I want to reiterate that this was the teacher who was teaching me to become a news anchor as my career, who reports on worse things daily. She later quit her intern news anchor job because she didn't want to report a dog dying. Fun days. So glad it's over.
95. Needing Acceptance
A student once informed me that he had been kicked out of his parents’ house for being gay, and that he was now living with an older gay couple that made him do their chores in his underwear. He cried and I didn’t know what to do. This was in college, though, so he was technically an adult and the law would not be able to help him. I feel terrible that he is stuck in that situation.
96. Some People Don’t Know When to Give Up
I went to a small high school, graduating class of about 60. In school, I had two close guy friends, and one of them had a drama queen ex-girlfriend named Stacia. She was convinced that the problems in her relationship weren’t her fault, they were mine. She tried to call the cops and say that me and my guy friends smelled like weed.
They didn’t really care, so she tried the same lie on the vice principal. Well, the thing is, the vice principal is my cousin. So he kind of just forgot about my name, but he still had to search my friends’ cars, and he actually found some pot. They were instantly suspended. I was stuck alone at school with Stacia the Psychopath.
I’m in the cafeteria one day, and my hair is up in a high messy bun. I heard her talking behind me, but I tell myself to ignore her. When I think of what happened next, I still can’t believe it. I could tell she was right behind me, and all of a sudden, I felt a weight on my head. The friend who I was talking to changes his expression. His eyes widen and he mouths “ASSSSSS” to me.
All of a sudden, I scream out the vice principal’s name and yell “Could you kind ask Stacia to get her butt of my hair?” He spins around, confused, and makes eye contact with her. Stacia very slowly moves forward, until her poo-caked-behind is no longer resting on my messy bun. Unfortunately, Stacia was not finished with her reign of terror, not even after being hauled to the office and subsequently sent home for “assault” of my person.
The very moment Stacia arrived at her home, she made a phone call to the state police. alleging that myself and my two guy friends, both of whom were home on suspension themselves, I might remind you, had followed her grandfather's Buick from the school to her house, flashing the headlights and honking.
Then, we allegedly did some mean Dukes of Hazzard moves to slide down her driveway and block her entrance to her house. Then we threw rocks at her. Then the guys assaulted her and I spit on her. Then we threw rocks at her again, and left. When she mentioned the alleged assault, the police sprang into action.
Less than 90 minutes after the original altercation where she put her butt on my head, the police were at the school to interrogate me. Well, I was more than happy to share what I know: my friend Alex's parents had confiscated his CAR BATTERY (more effective than taking keys) when he got busted with the weed. So he couldn’t have been at Stacia’s.
As for my friend David? He had no access to a vehicle and was under house arrest 22 miles from Stacia's house. The outcome? Stacia was charged with filing a false police report and the backlash against her for lying was so severe from the rest of the school, that she only lasted three days before transferring when she returned.
97. Without A Song
One teenage girl in my class once told me that she was sad and feeling ashamed because she wanted to sing in the shower and she couldn't. Her parents were religious fundamentalists with negative views about music. This really stuck with me. It was so surreal to see a child be deprived of such a simple and innocent pleasure.
98. Meet the Parents
I always knew my girlfriend’s parents were teachers, but we go to different schools. Anyway, last week I met them for the first time. When I walked into their house, my blood ran cold. Not only is her dad my science teacher—he 100% hates me with a pure passion. That dinner was awkward.
99. No Time To Rest
Sara was my best student. She was clever and hardworking—but when I learned her dark secret, I couldn’t see her the same way. Both of her parents had cancer and couldn’t work. The family was falling into debt, so Sara got a job to support her sick parents and her four younger siblings. That poor girl spent all her time caring for others—and here I was, thinking she was just an average high schooler. You really don’t know the story of someone’s life.
100. Behind Closed Doors
I had a girl in my class as a sub that was a complete nightmare. She basically told me that she wouldn't do work, she didn't care, etc. She was oppositional to everything I said for no reason and at one point she was up writing on the whiteboard and wouldn't sit down. The whole lesson was her distracting other students, just generally being a jerk, and enjoying that she had a sub she could infuriate.
I gave her detention for lunchtime the next day and she just laughed and said, “As if I'm going to come.” For some reason, she got to me more than students usually do—last period on a Friday, probably. I was stupidly angry at her, mostly internally. After class finished I went to add a behavior incident for her on the school system we use for disciplinary things.
The way it works is you can see the student’s history of incidents and refer your incident to head teacher, welfare teacher, deputy etc. When I found out what was happening to her, I was stunned. It turns out she had recently had a bad breakup and her ex was now harassing her, her family, and her friends. This includes turning up at her house with a gang in the middle of the night and threatening her with various things. The police were even involved.
I honestly just closed the classroom door and cried at the hopelessness of the whole thing and I didn't even end up writing the incident. I felt guilty for being so angry, completely lost that this was a reality for a 15-year-old kid, and terrified for what the future is going to hold for this girl. It's depressingly likely that she will end up a domestic violence statistic and there is nothing I can do to intervene.
101. Food For Thought
My dad was a teacher. Before school, he would routinely pack an extra lunch for himself. Later, I discovered the tragic reason why. He told me that he kept having this kid come to class and sleep during the first period. He thought it meant the kid was bored, until one day, he made pancakes for the class as a treat. That day, the kid didn’t sleep. They ended up staying up and ate six pancakes. Later, the kid told my dad they often don’t eat breakfast because their parents simply don’t buy food. When they have extra money, it goes directly to buying drinks for themselves.
After hearing that, my dad started regularly buying breakfast foods for my class and leaving them out for anyone to take. The kid didn’t sleep in class anymore after that. It was really an unbelievable situation and it made my dad very sad, but he said he was glad he could help in a small way. To clarify, the parents didn’t qualify for food stamps or any kind of government help, because they made too much money.
At least it looked like they did on paper, but really they didn’t. We lived in the Bay Area at the time and, even though they made a lot, most of the money went towards rent and other basic living expenses. My dad also said that these people generally seemed to make bad choices. He tried not to judge them, since he can’t possibly know their full story, but it seemed like their kids came last in their decision-making process very often.
Sources: Reddit, , , , ,
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