Walking into a new relationship is an incomparable feeling. Butterflies form, we want to spend all our time with them, and fireworks go off every time you see them. With all of these experiences happening at once, who wouldn’t think they have everything set in life? Well, when the initial feelings fade, you’re left with a loving, long-term relationship… hopefully.
Not everyone is left with a healthy relationship. There are some glaring signs to look out for that will let you know you’re dating the wrong person.
First of all, your partner should be comfortable with who you are. They knew what they were getting into when they entered into a relationship with you. Similarly, you knew about them as well. While it’s natural to hide a few things in the beginning, that’s supposed to end the longer you’re together.
Your partner should be the one person you share everything with. They should accept you and vice versa. Additionally, you also shouldn’t have to put on a show in front of them. If you recognize that your demeanor is completely different around them, there’s a problem.
Partners communicate with each other. If you find yourself talking to your significant other about what bothers you and nothing changes, there’s an issue. Partners shouldn’t compromise who they are entirely just to please you, but they need to take your feelings into consideration. Not to mention, sometimes people have little quirks or behaviors that are more damaging than they realize. If you bring it to their attention and they fluff you off, they’re not really listening to you.
Long-term relationships are certainly comfortable. They should be! Really, what’s better than sitting with your partner after a long day, binge-watching a show? But, there’s a difference between being comfortable and staying solely for comfort. If you stay for financial security or because you’re too scared to start from scratch, reevaluate your situation.
Additionally, think about your life. Have you put your dreams on hold for the relationship? Do you often daydream about breaking free from them? Do you tell yourself that your situation is “fine” and ignore glaring red flags? Really assess your comfort level and what you want from life. Don’t hang around with the wrong person simply because it’ll be “too hard” to restart.
A little arguing in relationships is normal. No two people agree on everything; it’s actually kind of unhealthy to not argue with your partner. However, that doesn’t mean you should be at each other’s throats every waking moment. If you realize that you guys fight all the time, start thinking about why.
Also, pay attention to what you argue about. Does your partner freak out when you leave dirty dishes in the sink? Do you get upset over little things as well? If so, it could be a sign that you’re harboring some resentment. As opposed to communicating in a healthy way, you’ve bottled up emotions and now any little thing sets either one of you off. In any case, it’s not a good way to go about a relationship.
Through thick and thin, we’re usually happy to see our partners. Sometimes, seeing them at the end of a draining day is the only thing that gets us by. But, if you roll your eyes at the thought of seeing them, things are obviously wrong. That said, if you also put up a front when you’re with them, that can get exhausting. So, if you find that you can’t ever really relax or be yourself around them, you may be with the wrong person.
Being with the wrong person doesn’t have to be the end of the road. Consider going to couple’s therapy to work out any kinks in the relationship. However, if nothing seems to help, look into parting ways. Starting anew could open new possibilities, it doesn’t have to be scary. Do what’s best for you!
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