Most cheaters know that cheating is wrong, but they still go through with it. Why? The following people reveal their reasons for starting affairs, and whether you agree with them or not, they sure do make for some compelling stories:
My father talks in his sleep, and one night, my mom climbed into bed a bit later than him and he started mumbling another girl's name. My mom asked him if he was cheating on her, and in his sleep, he answered yes. The next day, my mom went to the girl's house, since she recognized the name, and asked her if it was true. The girl confirmed it.
That’s when my mom came up with a plan. While my dad was at work, mom packed up all his stuff and canceled their wedding plans. A few days after kicking him out of the house, she found out she was about eight weeks pregnant with me. My father tried to claim she cheated on him and was trying to baby trap him, but the whole family laughed at him when I was born since I clearly resembled him.
20 years later, I get a phone call from my stepmom saying that she was leaving him as well. She'd given him time to tell everyone himself before she started making calls. She caught him receiving texts from some club dancer at 2 am. I blasted him for the disrespect he showed my mom, my stepmom, and his children. But the cherry on top?
I pointed out that the club dancer he was seeing was my age, which made him a predator. We haven't spoken to him in almost 10 years, and he's never met my kids; that is, his grandchildren. Even his parents have cut him out of their lives.
This is so recent (a week ago). I went to the spot I first took her to on the ship we worked on to surprise her, and she was on top of another dude. They looked me in the face and laughed when they saw me.
I was stuck in a non-physical marriage with a hoarder who didn’t keep up with house repairs. I spent four months drinking bottled water because the well wasn’t safe enough to use. I couldn’t get out because I was 20 kilometers from anywhere and the car that I was given didn’t run. My co-worker usually picked me up for work, or I walked to the closest carpool lot.
I eventually cracked under the stress of loneliness when my coworker told me he found me attractive. Turns out, my ex was really, really closeted. I wasn’t running on all cylinders after all that either. He’s got a roommate now, the house is fixed, I’m still with my co-worker after 10 years. We all get together every so often.
Found out via Facebook a few months after I had broken up with him that he cheated on me. I was still friends with his siblings and parents, and they were tagged in some photos of him. Holding his clearly to-term newborn son. Less than nine months after I broke up with him.
We met at work and we started having fun with my wife. One thing led to another and we started hanging out without her. Thankfully, my wife forgave me and we were able to reconcile. It was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. If you’re considering cheating, let me assure you—you will either get caught or (hopefully) be so consumed with guilt that you will rat yourself out.
I'm not on great terms with my family, so I suggested making a roast chicken for the two of us for Thanksgiving. She opted to go to her roommate's family's place—the roommate who I learned she was sleeping with shortly afterward.
She started telling me about relationship troubles. We grew closer over time, sharing our insecurities with one another and whatnot. Eventually, we developed feelings for each other, on which we could not act...but eventually, those feelings became too strong and we caved. It lasted for one and a half years.
I tried not to commit to this new thing we developed, but I could not completely let go and neither could she. She jumped between me and her partner. Eventually, I realized my commitment to her was unhealthy. And I realized (too late) that I didn't want to be the person that made someone else cheat.
I was at a party with a group of friends. I was standing behind my best friend talking in a group when my friend all of the sudden gets a text. I look at his phone and it's my girlfriend's full name and her asking when he is going to be over. She was supposed to be out of town at her mom's house.
We had been talking through Skype at work over nonsense for a while. One day, the conversation started to get a little intimate and we eventually exchanged numbers to continue the conversation. While still at work, we were texting back and forth and she started telling me things that she could never say at work. A little into the conversation, she started flirting. I still didn’t think much of it—and then I got a major surprise. All of a sudden, we were full-out sending dirty texts to one another.
We spoke in explicit detail, going back and forth on the things we’d do to each other. At the end of the day, as we were trying to conclude things, she suggested that I walk her to her car. That was the beginning of an affair that would end up lasting for two years. We’d go to lunch, then find a spot. Once we got off of work, we'd find a spot again, then head home.
If we stayed late, we'd find a spot, and so on. Being a 22-year-old at the time, I thought this was a great deal. She was also 34 and beautiful, so I never questioned anything. We had this friends-with-benefits thing going on and it was great. Where it started getting weird was when she urged us to start getting hotel rooms.
I thought it was because of my roommates, but it turns out she was trying to keep our arrangement top secret as we worked directly with each other. I guess half of the fun was pretending there was nothing going on between us in front of other people. To me, this really seemed like a really hot fling and that was it. Well I was about to get another surprise. You could imagine my shock when she first mentioned her husband to me...
Still, we kept seeing each other as if nothing changed. One day, I asked her to watch my dog while I went out of town and she said sure. We were to meet up after I got off work as I stayed later than she did. I had my roommate bring my dog to work before leaving so we didn’t have to make an extra trip. We agreed to meet in the building, but I saw her car and decided to just walk to her instead.
The car was still running, so I assumed she was in it; but when I knocked on the window, this guy rolled it down from the passenger's side. I knew who he was before he started speaking. It didn’t help that he knew why I was there, either. She had left to go meet me in the lobby and while we waited for her to return, her husband and I had a conversation. He seemed like a really good guy.
I felt sick the entire time. She came up to the car and things got really awkward between me and her. I handed over my dog and we went on with our days. Things ended there, but we never officially ended it or really talked about it; it kind of just stopped. I eventually ended up leaving that job shortly after, but weirdly enough, she still reaches out from time to time even though it’s been years.
I caught my boyfriend of two years. He had asked me to proofread his paper on his Mac and the text messenger popped up in the right hand. He was sitting in his bed texting some girl "goodnight, I love you" while sitting right next to me in his bed. I deleted his entire paper, wrote "Who's Marissa?" saved it and told him it looks great and left. She was his girlfriend of eight years who lived next to his parents two hours away.
I wasn’t happy in my marriage. One time, I was traveling for work and I was at dinner with someone else who had traveled to the same location. We were the last two in the restaurant and we were just talking. I asked about her family, and she said her husband was a jerk. One thing led to another, and we started an affair for the next two years.
I knew he was cheating when he suddenly became concerned about his looks but didn’t want me to look good. He went on a diet, started wearing contacts, and started shaving his pubic hair, which he wouldn’t do for me. Also became distant, had a lack of interest in sex, spent a lot of time on his phone, had weird mood swings that didn’t relate to our relationship fights/make ups, along with lots of other signs.
I was seeing this girl named Sam for four months. I met her while she was working at a bar downtown. We were practically in a relationship, but never really had the “talk.” We went on a bunch of dates together, and she met my co-workers. One day, I was over at her place drinking with her and the roommates, and towards the end of the night, we decided to go into her room to do the deed.
Suddenly. Sam started acting really strange and quiet. I asked her if she wanted to stop and she said yes. Once we both calmed down, I asked her what was up. She was reluctant to tell me anything, so I decided to just give her some space and talk to her about it later. As I was walking to my car that was parked on the street, I ran into a dude at the end of her driveway. I’ll never forget what happened next.
He looked so familiar. I realized as he got closer that he was Sam’s ex-boyfriend who I’d seen pictures of before on her Instagram. As he walked by me, he threatened me, saying that if I ever came back to her place, he'd end my life. I was a bit of a cocky idiot back then, so I replied, "And why the heck shouldn’t I come back?”
He then told me that he was fully aware that I'd been seeing his girlfriend. I then said, “You guys have been broken up since last summer.” He just kept walking past me even as I said that, so I just left. Turns out, the “ex” was right and I’d been helping her cheat on her boyfriend for the last four months. But the most messed-up part?
Her roommates and friends were in on it the whole time. This woman wanted to meet my daughter too! What a close call.
I was "roommate with benefits" before and somehow I was the other woman. I don't know how he thought he was going to be able to keep the two of us a secret from each other. It's been about five years and when I think about it the emotion that comes back isn't sadness or anger from the betrayal, but amazement that he thought he was going to get away with it.
I met the wife of a guitarist in a relatively famous band from the early 2000s and I was strung along with the "I don't want to be with him" promises. It built me up into a jealous man that I promised I'd never become. It was an absolute trainwreck and the whole thing felt very dirty and degrading. They're not together anymore and she ended up with one of the four guys she was cheating on him with.
She even had a kid with him, but I guess he doesn't know...Or he does, but too much time has passed for him to care. I don't really know him. That entire situation sent me into a spiral of relationship issues that take heavy management. I've been "the other guy" a handful of times, but this one really messed me up for a long time.
Back when Myspace survey quizzes were popular, I was reading one that she posted. A question on the quiz read "Who was the last person you kissed/had sex with?" The answer was not my name...
I was bartending one night. She walked into the bar and I could immediately tell that she was my perfect type—tall, slender, dark hair—just gorgeous. My first thought was, "Please be single, please be single..." Then she sat down next to her husband. They were married for about six months at that point. He was a Wall Street banker and she was a nurse. I got to talking to them at the bar and we hit it off.
Turns out, I had some mutual friends with her husband and we both grew up near the same suburbs outside of Boston. We also went to the same college, but I was older than him by 10 years. Same sports fans, etc. We eventually became friends; all three of us. They kind of had a strange relationship, and they didn't seem to have more than two or three actual friends.
I was one of them. We would do lots of things together (but nothing intimate). She later became pregnant and I became the godfather to her child. I was written in their will and they told me if they both were to leave this world, they wanted ME to raise their kid. Which makes what happened next so much worse. Over the course of eight years, she and I became close while her husband and I were just cordial. She never cheated on him with me physically—it was more an emotional thing.
He was distant and dismissive of her feelings, so I kind of became the surrogate boyfriend. She and I would go out to dinner or do other things together and he was fine with it. He even suggested I take his wife and kid on a vacation so he could get a break from being a dad. I loved her, but I never crossed the line. I always hoped deep down that she would see I was the better guy. I hoped that maybe someday she would leave him.
During the summer of 2020, she told me she was divorcing him. She said she had enough. I'd heard that before from her, but this time, she said she was serious. I kind of brushed it off. She was hanging out with me much more at that point. She couldn't even stand being in the house with him. This went on for three weeks. Eventually, she had a lawyer lined up, but they didn't start the proceedings yet.
Then, one morning, she was working from home and we got to talking. I couldn’t wait any longer. I finally asked her if she was serious about divorcing him and what she thought her post-divorce life might look like. She suggested that I would be the kind of guy she would want to date. That turned into more talking and soon after that, we started having frank discussions about dating each other after she got divorced.
This went on for about two more weeks. We started to text and FaceTime each other more. Physically, we weren't cheating...but we were headed down that road. One morning, she was over at my place before work and we got to talking some more. I leaned in at one point, and she leaned towards me. We kissed. We were stone-cold sober. It was passionate and really hot.
Then we continued talking some more about life after her divorce. Hearing her speak, it seemed to me like she was at a tipping point. The one thing keeping her from free-falling to the other side was...her kid. She loves him, obviously. He was only six years old at the time and she felt super guilty about divorcing her husband and ruining her son's life.
Also, on paper, her life looked amazing. Together with her husband, they had around $500k in combined income. Their net worth was $3 million. It would be hard for anyone to just walk away from that. I myself do well enough, but I'm just a bartender; not some Wall Street banker. I have always been smart with my money. I even own my own home and saved up $700k in a Roth IRA over the years.
Still, our relationship was growing stronger by the day and we wanted more of each other. Did I feel bad? No. I was under the impression that she was just waiting for the pandemic to end so she could divorce him under better circumstances. I'm sure lots of people like me have heard that. I'd known her for years...she couldn't be lying to me. No way.
But I was wrong. The guilt of what we were doing became too much for her. The "affair" lasted about two months, and we slept with each other only a handful of times. I told her that I didn't want it to just be like that. "Get a divorce. Give me a call." That's how I left it. She texted me a bit and even visited me once in December. We only talked a bit. She even told me then that she still wanted to go through with the divorce. I told her to let me know when it happened.
Then she ghosted me. I sent an email to her around Christmas. Never heard back. I tried calling her office a week later. Went straight to voicemail. I waited. Weeks turned to months. Never heard a peep from her. We live in the same area of town, but I never saw her. I didn't push it, since I figured with the pandemic still raging in 2021 that the divorce would happen by summertime. Then I got news that made my blood run ice cold.
I found out in April that she was pregnant. I never spoke to her after that. I'm not sure if it was planned or if he suspected something was going on between us and intentionally put a "bun in the oven," but that doesn't really matter. It's December now, and while I know it's over, I'm still hurting over it. Again, I genuinely felt that she was leaving him for me.
I now get the anger and hate towards people who are in affairs. But when you are the one in the affair, it's hard to just think, "Oh, I'll find someone else." I have dated my entire life and I never met anyone like her. I'm not sure if I will ever again, and I just want some kind of closure. I want to just hear from her what really happened.
I never thought I would be the type of person to do that. If I was dating hundreds of awesome women, then whatever. But when you are in your mid-40s, the dating pool dwindles down; even for NYC bartenders. Tinder can be rough. You get bot accounts or lots of people who don't even compare to her.
Phone bill was three times bigger than it should have been. Over 400 minutes to one number. The kicker was that she also had a company cell phone with unlimited calls that I obviously never would have known about, and the guy was someone she worked with. She literally wanted to get caught because she was too weak to tell me to my face.
It wasn't "my" affair, but I guess I was still a part of it. This was like 12 years ago. I was 19 and she was 24 and married. They were in the process of getting a divorce, but she sort of failed to tell me they were technically still married. The dude was trying to fix the marriage at the time, but I learned that too late. He eventually found out about me and he was rightfully upset, but he was definitely more upset with her than me.
I straight up told him she wears no ring and that she told me she was recently divorced. I felt like garbage, but she really was incredible. Our affair lasted six months and then I got out of that whole scenario completely.
Had been with this chick for about one year. At our school summer camp, a guy from the class above me came up to me and straight up said: "Hey, I hear you’re so and so's new boyfriend, I’m her ex and just wanted to say hello.” I didn't really know what to make of the situation but for some reason, I just asked when they broke up, and he said: "oh like one month ago." Needless to say, that relationship was over quickly.
This is about "my" affair, in the sense it directly affected me, but I was not actually the person having the affair...We were living in New England at the time. My wife had just started a new job, and I was pretty well entrenched in my career there. We'd just bought our first home five years ago and we loved it. Things seemed to be going really well—we were both earning good money, our house was beautiful, and our relationship was solid...or so I thought.
Then she decided she didn't want to live there anymore. She missed her family and she wanted to go home. She wanted me to be with her, just not there. She told me this via text message while sending me a copy of an offer letter for a new job that she had interviewed for secretly and told me she was accepting. The emotional crisis was suddenly in full swing, and I was blind to the lead-up.
My world was totally rocked. All three legs of my milking stool— marriage, career, and home—suddenly kicked out from under me in the blink of an eye. She was going, and if I wanted to stay married, so was I. That meant having to sell our home, quit my job, find a new one, buy a new home, etc...No small feat. She left at the beginning of winter and she decided that I would live alone until the spring when the housing market started back up.
That way, we could get top dollar for our property and have more of a selection to choose from. I had made it clear that I would only go from one home to another home. Getting the first house was reaching a goal I never thought was possible, and I was reluctant to give it up so quickly and go back to renting. I saw that as an absolute crushing failure. Spring was right around the corner, then BOOM, the pandemic showed up, which slowed my plans to join her.
On top of that, my boss—with whom I had been communicating my struggles from the start—didn't want to lose me, and I was working out a way to have him keep me on as a permanent remote worker. This was a time-consuming HR process which only slowed things down more. All-in-all, we were living apart for about 10 months, while I was riding out the winter, navigating the pandemic, working with my employer to keep my job, selling our house, and buying a new one.
We saw each other almost every weekend, but those visits were often horrible. I was bitter about the entire situation, and she was angry with me over my bitterness. Six months into our new home, she made a disturbing revelation about the time we were apart. She admitted to me that she had an affair that lasted for nearly our entire time apart. He was a former college professor of hers, and they had maintained a friendship via Facebook ever since.
He was significantly older than her and he was recently divorced. He had begun reaching out to her to talk through his troubles, and she, being angry with me, was talking to him in turn. She later met him at a conference in Boston, on his invitation, to hear him speak. After his presentation, they shared a drink, then went back to his room.
They met up once or twice a week for the 10 months we were apart. While I was hugging my wife's pillow in our empty bed, she was hugging him in his. It worked in his favor that he was a psychology professor who had authored papers on manipulation because he told her she was in the right, and that I was an awful husband who should have dropped everyone and everything on a whim if I didn't want this to be happening.
He told her that because I stayed behind to try to save my job and sell our home, I was likely never going to go with her. Their affair ended when he moved away for a new job. He wanted her to join him and start a new life with him, but she refused. But it gets even more devastating. They got intimate with each other one final time...and he got her pregnant (a feat I had been unsuccessful at despite my best efforts). She got rid of the baby and never told him.
One month later, I joined her in a new home that I had bought for us. I often wish she went with him, or at the very least had the courtesy to tell me about the affair before I sold my home, moved to this wasteland that I now live in, and committed myself to a future of what basically amounts to house arrest. I now stay in my tiny home office, all day long, every day, with no coworkers outside of those I see on ZOOM calls, and no friends outside of the people I meet on games...
The one person I do see every day? My wife.
Right before my ex got caught cheating, I saw his phone laying on the couch like it fell out of his pocket. I picked it up just as he realized he'd dropped it. I swear, he leapt across the room to take it from my hand before I could even say a word. I had already begun suspecting, but that was pretty definitive that I was right.
This was my previous marriage. I caught him constantly seeing other women. We saw a few couples counselors and went to marriage therapy sessions, and one time, someone said something that stuck: "Nobody will ever take care of you, but you. Therefore, nobody will really help you fulfill your self-love as you can, so it’s okay to think about you and be selfish sometimes."
In the context of what he spoke about, it makes sense. It made me realize that my husband will never really do the things I hope. Instead of trying to make him be the person that I want him to be, I chose to be selfish. I found someone else...with my only mistake being that I did so while we were still married.
When I got home from work, she would be going to work and I would be hanging out with our baby. Around the time he was one and a half, she started going to the bar with co-workers. I was fine with it because it wasn't often, maybe one night a week, and she came back home by 12. It quickly got up to coming home between 2:30 am and 4 am, plastered, four to six times a week.
She started mentioning this one co-worker a lot and how cool he was. My paranoia got the better of me and I checked her phone one alcohol-induced coma night and she had been trying to get said co-worker to meet with her at an abandoned gas station a few miles up the road while she was on her way out.
I approached her and asked what she planned to do when he showed up, "just hang out and shoot the s***!" to which I replied, "While you’re drunk, at 2 am, behind an abandoned gas station..." She never admitted to it, but that, a lot of not-even-subtle clues and people I knew seeing her out at the bar gave me all I needed to know.
I had an emotional affair, though I didn't know what that was at the time. I was in an unhappy relationship, but not ready to admit that I wanted to leave. I started spending time with a co-worker and we became instant best friends. There was no initial attraction; we just had a lot of the same interests and the same friends. We also attended the same social and professional events. As I got to know him, I could hardly believe he was a real person.
He was the best person I'd ever met—funny, kind, gentle, fun, and respectful. Other than spending too much time with me, he never crossed a line. I fell so hard, but I denied it even harder. I started lying about spending time with him, even when we were in a group. There were many opportunities for things to turn physical, and even today, I marvel at our restraint. We didn't become physical or even admit feelings to each other until after I left my ex.
I was angry after spending six years begging my ex to spend time with me or show interest in the things I liked. I had been a dedicated and loyal partner for six years, most of which were long-distance. I moved to a new city with him and supported his dreams, which he achieved... to the detriment of our relationship. I was always a side character in his story. So I left him, and a week later, I began the most magical love story I could have imagined.
I bear the burden of having been dishonest, and I know now that I was wrong. I do regret my lies so much and hurting another person. I wish I had been brave enough to leave earlier; although if I had, things might not have worked out the way they did, and I wouldn't risk what I have now for anything...not even the feelings of my ex.
She was having an argument with a housemate and they shouted at her—with me in the room—“At least I'm not cheating on my fiancé!” She moved out less than a week later.
I cheated on my wife for a few months with an exotic dancer. I was driving for a rideshare company at the time and I took her home. She took everything she was wearing off in front of me and we hooked up. We eventually saw each other multiple times in the following three or so months. I knew early on that my wife and I were never supposed to be together. We had met and she got pregnant within 90 days.
We tried to move past my infidelity and our relationship lasted almost three years, but nothing had ever gotten better. We were just incompatible. That’s why I cheated. I felt trapped and was nervous about the future, but since I had a child on the way, I couldn’t bring myself to leave because of the societal hate I’d get being a “deadbeat."
This was around six years ago. Maybe a little longer. I regret my decision to this day. If I could turn back the hands of time, I’d still keep my relationship with my son, but I wouldn’t have stayed with his mom. I would have moved on. She didn’t deserve any of what I did to her. I ghosted the dancer after things got too close for comfort. Deleting messages and lying to my wife got more and more difficult as guilt ate me alive.
Shortly after my son was born, someone I was close to told my wife what I was doing and we were never the same. I hope that the dancer is doing well in her life and that she’s happy. My ex and I are close friends now. She’s remarried with a fourth child on the way now. We have both put the past behind us. Her two older kids have a great relationship with me, and my son does too. As far as my actions, I couldn’t ever do that again...to anyone. I was such a jerk to treat her that way.
I went to her 18th birthday party. I wandered around mingling with all her friends, and then I realized I hadn't seen her anywhere in like 45 minutes. I thought nothing of it at first, but then I went downstairs to use the basement bathroom. It was locked. I knocked and I heard a very breathy female voice say, "Occupied! Go Away!" Since I really had to go, I decided to wait.
GF came stumbling out of the bathroom with some guy about ten minutes later, looking all flustered and stinking. Apparently, the guy bought himself a bathroom quickie with a few hits of a toke. She made some excuse about how they were "just talking" and he was an old friend. I shrugged, actually wanting to believe her.
But when I went in to finally go to the bathroom, the stupid girl had forgotten her panties on the bathroom floor. I handed them to her in front of all her friends upstairs and walked out. "Here. You forgot these in the bathroom downstairs." It was one of those classic zinger moments when you really burned someone, but at the time, I just felt sick and brokenhearted.
My wife cheated on me. I decided to stay with her and try to work things out. It haunts me to this day. Four years later, I still can't let it go. Our relationship is good—I mean, we don't argue as much as we used to; but every time something goes wrong or she changes her habits, I always think she is cheating on me. It is hard to end the relationship now because I said we would work through it.
I truly believe she is not cheating anymore, but I can't let go of this feeling. It drives me crazy almost every day. If I had to make the decision again, I would have ended the relationship when it happened. It just feels wrong to end it now when I know she is really trying. Love really sucks sometimes.
Not so subtle, but my ex was being guarded with his phone, and every time I caught a glimpse of the screen while he was using it, it was the same girl. Asked who she is and it's his friend from "dog-walking club" Yeah right—they actually met on Tinder. He also went through my phone, and not very subtly either, because he accidentally sent random thumbs up to a lot of people on Facebook chat.
Then there was the random message from the above-mentioned girl, who had gone to the effort of looking me up and telling me to"back off her boyfriend." Hahahahahaha. There were a lot of things she didn't know either, apparently.
I joined a gym. She was my instructor. I fell in love with a healthy lifestyle and being around healthy people. I wasn’t getting that at home with my wife. Anyway, our 16-year anniversary is coming up. I’m also a fitness professional now and have been to the Ironman World Championships, Badwater, Boston, Leadville, and a bunch of other extreme and crazy athletic things. And yes, we got it on at the gym.
I technically didn't catch him cheating, because he came clean about it when he broke up with me. I did, however, find out who he cheated with. He told me it was with his friend Natalie, who I had never heard of before, except for the time maybe days earlier when he told me about his "half black" friend Natalie. Ok, at the time I wasn't sure why he shared this detail.
This was ten years ago when we were all fresh out of high school, so I don't remember exactly how the conversation went. Days go by and a coworker asks me if we're still together, because she saw him kissing a girl, and she shares her description as "darker skinned." I tell her we broke up, and that's probably the girl he cheated on me with, it's ok.
Days go by and my good friend Nora's older brother invites me to hang out, totally out of the blue. I take him up on it and we go to a park near his parents' house. Lo, we spot Nora's car. We're walking through the park and there's Nora's parents' dog running around off leash. And there, on a gentle slope, is Nora and my recent ex making out on the grass. Nora and her brother are Egyptian and could easily be described as "half black" or "darker skinned." My ex had made Natalie up.
She came on to me. I knew she was married and I struggled with the morality of it, but I ended up caving because I really liked her. Turns out, she was in a bad relationship—nothing physical, just mental—and she'd been considering divorce for several months. We stayed together after she got divorced and ended up getting married ourselves. It's not something I'm overly proud of, but I wouldn't change anything if I had a chance to do it again.
And to pre-empt those who claim "once a cheater, always a cheater," I think that boils down the complexity of humanity far too much. People cheat for a myriad of reasons. In my case, it was a neglectful husband; in some other people's cases, it's just a slow demise of the relationship, and neither wants the hassle of ending it.
Literally five hours after we broke up, he updated his Facebook relationship status to "engaged" to a girl who I thought he was just friends with. She uploaded a photo showing off the ring with the caption "he finally asked, and I said yes!"
I host trivia. A regular player came most weeks. We got to know each other better with each passing week. Eventually, we started having feelings for one another. We eventually started meeting up at his place every week after trivia before I went home. I completely flew under the radar since I had been hosting trivia for a few years at that point and I was already gone the same night every week.
My husband at the time traveled for work, so we graduated from weekly meetups to daily, either at my place or his, while my husband was away. It's been three years. I still see my affair partner. I am no longer with my husband.
Phone dinged, I checked it, (same phones no case both charging next to each other.) The text said, "I miss you too" and was from a girl he was dating when we were separated. Fast forward a few months to when he deploys. Check his email because at this point I know something is up. Find emails, so I contact the mistress.
She was very transparent with me and told me that basically, they were dating before he even met me, which means he courted me, asked me to marry him, married me then we had a child together all while he was still seeing her. We separate for a year, he dates her exclusively, we get back together, and he maintains a relationship with her. All of this without me knowing.
I found this all out while I was a month away from birthing his second child and he's getting shot at in Afghanistan. We decide to work through it, but I never could get over the fact that he cheated on me for four years and had no problem hiding it from me, and only came clean because I found out, as in, he had no intention of coming clean.
When he returned home he confessed to many other times with other people (thank GOD I never got an STD). After three subsequent years of him refusing to go to counseling so that we can ACTUALLY deal with it, he tells me he wants a divorce (a month before we are supposed to get a permanent change of station to Alaska). Moved back home with the kids, filed for divorce and life is amazingly better now. Screw that guy!
It's simple. My old girlfriend wasn’t doing much for our relationship to grow. She seemed happy with just having a place to stay, but she was contributing zero to the situation or to us. She would come home from work, expect dinner to be there, and just walk off into our room and watch TV. She didn’t want to talk about her day, make plans, or open up to me. All I got were one-liner responses.
She’d get frustrated with me, asking questions about what our plans were or when we’d have a romantic date again. It basically became platonic after the first six months. I was friends with other girls and I started making excuses that I had to work late. Secretly, I was meeting up with some of them. Eventually, one of the girls and I ended up seeing each other as we had a lot of chemistry.
Her personality was much more active and forward thinking. I eventually dropped the news on my girlfriend at the time and told her it was time to end this relationship, as she was doing nothing for me or our situation despite my effort to get something out of her. Of course, she caused a major scene and acted like she was hurt by it.
Truth be told, I felt like she was putting on a show just so she could have a place to stay other than her parents’ house. She was a waitress and occasional bartender, so I covered a lot of the living expenses. I wasn’t having any of her act.
My cousin showed me a picture of her hooking up with the male stripper at her bachelorette party.
My friend was supposed to get married the week following his bachelor party and instead, his wedding became a funeral. No, really. The whole situation messed me up as I was creeping up on 40 and already starting a midlife crisis. I had been with the same person my whole life and we had become friends. I talked to my wife about how I was feeling and she brushed it off as she was busy with her career.
I had a friend die in my arms, and I spent all night drinking and pondering the frailty of life. Then I looked at mine. In a broken state, I made a drastic decision. I decided to get with other people before life got away from me. I made mistakes, hurt people, and lost friends. I don’t have shame around it; instead, I openly tell people about my life decisions in hopes that they can take something away from it.
My ex-wife and I are still good friends. We talk often. It was my path. In the end, we got divorced, and I truly believe this was our path. I blew up my life to find myself in the rubble. I'm a better person for it now.
I caught my dad cheating on my stepmom because he said he wanted to listen to Adele on my headphones. The second he said that, I knew something was up. He would never take me and my sister out for any reason other than personal pleasure and why ask for my headphones. I come to find out after a little bit of snooping on his phone that he was sending Facebook audio messages to girls, so his wife couldn't read the messages. That really changed how I saw my dad.
My ex-husband took advantage of me on my birthday, and I was extremely depressed after the incident. I began to realize that his behavior wasn't new and I just accepted that many of his actions in the past were products of his childhood trauma. I had justified it before, but I had still discussed it with him and asked him to change his behavior.
At some point, a co-worker who I'd become friends with noticed that I was extremely depressed and he sort of looked out for me. He struggled with depression and had it really bad in the past, so he knew that something was horribly wrong and began to check in with me every day. He'd also try to do things to cheer me up. Eventually, he confessed that he had feelings for me, and I confessed that I had feelings for him.
Nothing really came of it immediately afterward, and we didn't even talk outside of work (I only started once I had come to a solid decision I wanted a divorce). But my ex considers it an emotional affair and for the most part, I agree. I strongly think, however, that I may have ended myself if he hadn't shown me he cared. Later on, that coworker and I got together, after I'd separated from my ex and both of us got new jobs.
I am now happily divorced and he and I have been together for a year or so. It's the happiest, most uplifting, caring and loving relationship I've ever been in.
She told me her little cousin (who is mentally handicapped) swallowed something (a battery I think) and was in the hospital in NC and was flying down there. Later, she went and took a nap. I was on the computer, clicked on the favorite place link to Gmail and saw a flight confirmation email to NY. I realized it was her account and not mine.
I sat at the edge of the bed calm as could be and as soon as she woke up I asked her what she was doing in NY. She tried to say she didn't know what I was talking about, but I told her I saw the email. She then said she was going to visit some friends, and I was like oh, is that why you made up this big lie about your cousin?
I was having issues in my relationship. The girl I was with at the time (let’s call her Mary) said that we might be over because she wanted to be with someone who was religious. I went over to my friend's house to talk it out—her name was Kate and she was a good friend of mine. After talking to her about it for a while she convinced me that Mary would leave me and that there was no point in talking to her about it.
I was pretty upset about it, so she offered to hang out with me to distract me from everything because I really was in love with Mary at the time and wanted so badly for her to be the one. When Kate dropped me off later that night, she kissed me and from that moment, our closeness escalated even more over time. I should’ve said no and just tried to talk to Mary about it.
Kate later apologized for manipulating me, but man, I just should never have given in. It was never about Kate just being better than Mary. I loved her so much but I was convinced I’d lose her.
He was in the basement of the house we had JUST BOUGHT TOGETHER having phone sex with her, not realizing that the sound would travel through the vents. It sucked at the time but in hindsight, he did me a huge favor.
I haven't had an affair, but I am the product of one. My mom married her first husband back in 1992. She was 22, and he was in his 40s. My mom, when she was younger, was a sucker for tall, dark, and handsome men, and older men, and this guy was both. Anyway, things were fine at first, but eventually, my mom was ready to settle down and start a family.
Her husband wasn't, even though he told her he was. He still went out partying and drinking all the time. About a year after they got married, my mom got pregnant with his baby, but the constant stress and drama of their arguing about his partying and drinking took an absolutely brutal toll. Sadly, she miscarried. Afterward, things continued to get volatile.
Her husband started an affair with a woman they both knew, but he denied it up and down. Then, during one particular argument, he actually pinned my mom to the wall by her throat. She pushed him off of her, screamed and cursed him out, and told him it was the last time he'd ever lay hands on her. A while later, on one fateful night, she met this army guy, who would eventually become my biological father.
They dated for a while, and after several months, my mom got pregnant with me. My biological dad wanted to marry my mom and have her move to Michigan with him, but she didn't want to, so they split. But that’s not the whole truth. The truth is, my mom only had an affair because she wanted to have a baby, and she knew it would never happen with her first husband.
She was upfront with her husband about the whole situation and told him everything. He said he would clean up, love, and raise me as his own. Needless to say, he didn't do that, and my mom took me and left him when I was only a year old. And she worked to take care of me all on her own, until nearly three years later when she met my stepfather. And the story doesn’t end there.
Later, I did meet my biological dad. It was when I was 13. After I spent a week with him and his family, he never talked to me again. That was something he promised my mom he wouldn't do when she was arranging for us to meet.
My girlfriend started working with and talking about this girl and inviting the girl and her GF to go to dinner with us. We went on a double date with this couple a few times over the course of three weeks and I noticed every time we were all four out, my girlfriend would drink much more heavily than usual. It was weird.
We were having them over for dinner one Sunday, but had an adult sports game before (which usually involved light drinking) and she was acting super weird about making sure we were home on time and had dinner ready, etc. That night, after they left, she passed out on the couch next to me. Her Apple watch buzzed, and I glanced over and saw a selfie of this girl.
This was enough to get me to look at her phone (for the first time ever) where I find texts with sexting and details about their hookup. I took screenshots of all of it and sent it to my phone.I got dressed, texted a friend, packed a backpack, and woke her up by throwing her phone (with those messages open) at her and walking out the door.
She groggily sorted it all out and attempted to contact me all night and eventually texted the other girl's GF those screenshots, which I thought was pretty cruddy. Sort of an "if I'm going down, you're going down with me."
I can tell you how my ex-wife’s affair started. A guy she knew was dumped by his girlfriend. He just needed someone to talk to and he confided in her. She told me I “didn’t need to worry about him” because he was fat and older, so she wouldn't be attracted to him. Suddenly, she stopped communicating with me and eventually started lying about being at his house.
I should point out she had cheated on me before, but this was her first affair. It was all really downhill from there. The funny thing is, I remember meeting the guy a couple of years earlier and I thought he was creepy a heck. I didn’t like him one bit. Turns out, that feeling was right. He's a creep.
My first GF, that I had lost my virginity to, banged some dude from high school that allowed her to wear his letterman jacket home since it was cold. He came to her house to get it back and said it just felt right. All while I was at work. The worst part was she told me on AIM when I got home!
I had an affair because I was a jerk who kept making excuses to do what I wanted to do. I didn't realize that the relationship I was in was not healthy at the time and I found another guy to have real, genuine fun with. I was telling myself that it wouldn't hurt anyone if no one found out and that I was just experimenting with being polyamorous.
The reality is that I cheated, plain and simple. It took me a long time after the relationship ended to realize what I had done and I feel terrible about it to this day.
He has a longtime friend of his (who happened to be female) who was staying the night. She was sleeping in the basement bedroom and we were upstairs. Well, he slipped out of bed in the middle of the night and woke me up. When he noticed, he told me he had to go to the bathroom. I guess I already had my suspicions, because I lay there and listened to him walk down the hall, then past the bathroom, and down the stairs.
So, I followed. And caught him in the basement getting ready to have sex with her. Oh. I was not a happy puppy. Was stupid and tried to salvage our engagement, but I wasn't "fun anymore" and he left.
I spent more than a decade being completely used by my wife due to my naivete and sheltered upbringing. By the time I figured out it was okay to have my own needs and desires, I had a whole family that was completely dependent on me in every way with no support whatsoever from my wife. Everything you might suggest that I try to improve the relationship, I tried.
Multiple times, too. So I had a choice: 1) Live the rest of my life without my needs being considered and much less met 2) Divorce my wife and basically support her for the next 15 to 20 years, robbing my children of the opportunities I had spent a lifetime working for, or 3) Discreetly get my needs met by someone in the exact same situation.
I chose #3. I know that it's morally wrong. I wrestle with guilt and shame. But in my situation, it was the least bad option I had in my judgment.
My ex worked a night shift and I worked day shift, so I'd wait for her to come home (so kids wouldn't be sleeping alone) and one night she just didn't show up...Pulled up Find my iPhone to find out she's at her ex’s house. She came home a little later after texting/calling her constantly with some extra news: he got her pregnant...What a wonderful day.
My ex had an affair. She ran an in-home daycare. One of the dads of kids was going through a divorce, and my ex, who was my wife at the time, helped him through it more than I knew. One day, she told me that she wanted a divorce. It seemed out of the blue to me...until I saw the two of them together when I followed her to her work one day.
I had let her borrow my car while I took the bus to work, my friend called me at work to say that my girl was making out with some guy in my car. So I got a taxi over there and yup, there she was. I knocked on the window guy jumped out. I was going to start beating his ass, but I told him to just leave, this might not be your fault.
She started making excuses, I just asked her to step out of the car. Got my keys and drove away a mess, she screwed me up for a long time. She made me lose trust in women and messed up my concept of relationships for a long time.
I came back from Afghanistan with undiagnosed PTSD. My wife told me to "fix myself," so I did. I found someone who cared for me more than I could ever imagine. I regret the way I went about it, but now I have a three-year-old, a one-year-old, and an amazing 16-year-old stepson. We have all been together for ten years.
When I was at college we had this campus Twitter account that people would post pictures of random people caught making out at parties to. I blacked out one Saturday night and woke up to a few angry texts…
A lot of people meet on Craigslist for affairs that end up being ongoing. My friend hooked up with a guy on Craigslist who turned out to be married with kids. My friend told him that he wanted to stop because he felt bad for his wife, and his response was: "Why? It's not like you know her personally." So I guess what my friend learned is that the world is full of people who won't think twice about cheating on their wives.
When I was 14/15 years old and at band camp, my best friend (let's call her Emma) and I were dating two boys who were best friends. Typical, right? So, one day Emma and I get out of rehearsal and we go to meet up with our boyfriends, who are nowhere to be found. So we look harder, we're wandering around campus, and we hear low voices behind a ledge.
Lo and behold, our precious boyfriends were there...MAKING OUT WITH EACH OTHER. Emma immediately started crying, which caused the boys to pull apart with a suctiony schluuurp. I suppose I wasn't as in love with Boyfriend as I thought, because my reaction was to laugh hysterically. I had never seen two boys make out before. It wasn't bad.
I was the other woman. I ended up befriending him and his wife. She and I went to lunch one day and I spoke with her about open relationships. I told her she should try to date other people outside of her marriage if she wasn't happy...and she did. She left him a few months after I left him. Both of us did so because he treated us so poorly.
She told me in gratuitous detail the name, body type and acts she performed with like ten different dudes—ranging from making out to intercourse with "only" two dudes. She thought I would forgive her and it’d bring us closer and like it’d be good, so we could talk about those experiences together. After this, she moved for an "open" relationship—which made it all okay because she'd get to retroactively apply our "open" status.
I was young, in love, and heartbroken so I said yes because I was desperate to hang on to her. Then she broke up with me when I hooked up with someone else after like four months of "open" status and her having like a primary friend-with-benefits because I "liked her too much."
They were polyamorous. I was with both of them on a physical level. He eventually became jealous of the connection that she shared with me. He wanted things to go back to platonic friendship, but she ended up leaving him for me. Yikes.
Was dating a girl in college and didn't think she was cheating. Another guy she was dating thought she was. He found my info in her phone and texts me about it. He wants to confront her. We both meet up at her place while she isn't home. He's a nice guy and we honestly got along pretty well for the half hour we talked before she arrived.
She saw us both as she drove up and the look on her face was shock. By the time she got out of her car she was crying but didn't say a word to us. We went in her apartment and her roommate acted as the mediator but it didn't really get anywhere. Me and the other guy were pissed and wanted answers. We weren't getting any so we both gave her some choice words and rolled out.
My affair resulted from a manic episode within a raging case of undiagnosed bipolar disorder. I felt like I had “so much love to give” that I couldn’t possibly bestow it all upon only one person. I wasn’t sleeping much, so 21 hours a day was open for courting. I pretty much ruined my marriage and my own life.
A friend in college cheated on his girlfriend because she told him he had to stop eating pop tarts so he could lose weight, and he didn't know how to break up with her. When she found out, he straight up told her to her face that he couldn't give up pop tarts. I wish that was a lie, those things are pretty darn high in calories.
I'm a paramedic. After sending a patient to the hospital, my co-worker and I stayed in the parked ambulance while the rest of the crew went to eat their lunch. We had worked with each other quite often and were quite close. He and I were chilling at the back and we just started talking. He told me, "Isn't it sad that the inside of the ambulance has only seen the loss of life but never the creation of one?" I thought it was a joke—but it was so much more.
I laughed and that's when he did it—he kissed me. I had a boyfriend at the time, but we still kept seeing each other. No matter how undeniable the sparks were, I still feel like a total jerk for giving into my co-worker's temptation.
My GF was getting ready for work one day and I noticed she was wearing makeup which she hadn't done in a very long time. I sarcastically asked her, "Is Neal working tonight with you?" to which she said, “no, I just wanted to look nice today.” I dropped her off at work and who was there? Neal, that dirty rat. Like in other stories, sometimes it's the abrupt change in a subtle thing about a person that sets off the warning bells.
My affair started after he told me I was a spineless worm for not standing up to my roommate. So I went and made out with a guy who had been interested in me for a while, then called my boyfriend back. I informed him that he wasn't going to want to visit me the following weekend because I had cheated on him. I lived a wild and wonderful single life for a while after that.
I've never been able to explain it, but I saw my ex cheating on me in a dream. I saw everything. I told her about it and she freaked out. (To be fair, I described the dude's bedspread, fish-tank, and his room. I have never been there).
I cheated on my ex not too long ago with a supervisor from work. I never really thought much about her except that she was cute. She invited me to her Halloween party. I was tipsy, but I’m not the type to use that as an excuse. She denies it, but I felt like the whole night was set up for her and me to hook up together. I noticed she kept bumping into me and I finally decided to follow up on my suspicions by subtly rubbing her back.
She kept trying to get some of us to watch a movie. She and I finally did and we didn’t take long to get to her room. We hung out the entire next day together at her place. I fessed up to my girlfriend and after a week or so, I decided to choose my supervisor over her. But there’s one thing that still haunts me. I'm still not sure if I made the wrong choice. Sometimes it still feels like I did...I keep wanting to call my ex because I miss her.
I was 17 and he was my first boyfriend. I wasn't going to sleep with him and told him as much, so he was having sex with a girl who I knew from church youth group in his car before he would come hang out with me. She wanted him all to herself, so she showed me the messages—I was dumb and didn't believe her because this wasn't the first time she had stirred up drama like this.
Sure enough, his car was outside the church in the back corner of the parking lot and he was waiting for her. Although, TBH, I was mostly just dating him because I hadn't been kissed yet and was tired of waiting for someone I could see myself falling in love with. I was angrier over the humiliation of being cheated on more than because I loved him.
We worked together and spent many innocent late nights on projects, with oodles of tension between us. She went away for holiday with her husband to Egypt and I put a bunch of dayglo stars on her office ceiling. That blew her mind and somehow, she ended up back at my place. I fell in love...but in the end, she broke my heart.
She's still with him, and her husband still doesn't know she cheated on him with me.
My ex was very into astrology. She cheated on me, and blamed it on the timing of the great American eclipse of August 2017.
I’ve been the “other woman” more than once. So many married men come to me for carefree adventures and relief. They’re usually more than seven years into their marriage and their wives punish them with a non-physical relationship. I don’t pretend to understand the pain either side feels, but to me, affairs stem from the need for passion and excitement.
Once you resign yourself to having lost being “in love” versus loving someone, a spark is gone. And once you find someone to reignite it, it’s intoxicating.
Ex-girlfriend. Woke up one morning and it was plastered all over her Snapchat story of her making out with her ex at some Christmas party. This was the day after a very intense romantic evening with her...Was a tough day to get through for sure. She decided to completely drop contact with me after with no answers as to what happened, but thank goodness I'm out of that train wreck now though...One month on and I'm doing much better.
I started flirting with people on Facebook when I didn't get the attention I so desperately needed from my partner at the time. He was actually so inattentive that I fooled around with this one guy almost every afternoon for about three months and he never knew. I was very young and inexperienced, and I know better now.
We are not together anymore—this happened about ten years ago, I don’t even speak to either one of them anymore. It’s not my proudest moment, but I can’t change it. I’ve made peace with the decision and I’m taking it to the grave.
When my husband and his mistress got caught, they tried to invoke an evolution argument and convince me that "humans aren't meant to be monogamous." I'm like, "if you don't believe in monogamy, why did you even marry in the first place? You could have joined a free love hippie commune at any time if you wanted to. But that's not what you did."
We met at work. We knew each other for 10 years before we started anything. Both of our marriages fell apart around the same time. There had always been a strong attraction between us and it just came together. We ended up living together for 12 years after that. We bought a house together, helped raise each other's kids, and remained close friends. It was totally the opposite of my first marriage.
I remember I was brushing my teeth and looking at myself in the mirror, and I thought to myself, "I finally feel like I can trust her! I don't think she has been unfaithful at all to me. That's a good feeling!" I went back to the computer where we had a Skype session going, and I told her my mirror thoughts. I was so proud of myself because I can have trust issues.
She immediately went silent and started biting her lip. I was like "ooooofff course.." She ended up telling me that things got rekindled with her ex, and they started hooking up again. It was just the worst because we were in a long distance stint of our relationship. We broke up, and she got back together with him, and then wanted me back, and then wanted him back. I'm not even sure where it all stands now, but we don't communicate.
My ex-husband cheated on me multiple times. I had resigned myself into thinking this was just how life was. After 11 years, I finally thought to myself, "Let me just see if it’s really me who's void inside or if he's the cause of that empty feeling." I made a profile on a cheating site and within 24 hours, this one guy messaged.
He and I had an instant connection—very similar interests, personalities, backgrounds, etc. I was able to feel things again and I decided I couldn’t live such an empty life. So I asked for a divorce. The guy I had the affair with was amazing and while it didn’t work out romantically, he is still my best friend. We have talked daily for the past two years and I’m currently dating a sweet guy who also gives me the feels.
I will say, in no way do I regret my affair. It was honestly the best thing for me and it helped me get out of my horrible situation.
My dad told me. 5 years later. On the morning of my wedding to another woman. After I dumped the cheater for unrelated reasons. And my entire family pushed for me to get back together with her. AND THEY KNEW SHE WAS CHEATING.
I had been cheated on in two of my past relationships. Both girls left me completely devastated and they each went on to date the guy they cheated on me with. After that, I started seeing relationships as more of a casual thing and I figured my heart wouldn't be broken if I had someone else for when my own relationships inevitably fell apart.
At one point, I was dating two girls and getting intimate with four others at the same time. I know it sounds terrible, but I don't really regret it. It gave me confidence knowing I had a backup plan. I moved to a new city with a clean slate and married the first person I dated there. I never cheated on her, but I also learned not to be too much of a pushover.
My best friend was in the hospital having emergency surgery, during which she almost died. Her family told her boyfriend, Sam, about her situation. He never responded or showed up to see or ask how she was doing. He then proceeded to cheat on her with some girl from high school, claiming, “She didn’t answer my texts for two whole days!!” Yeah, because she was nearly dead, you jerk!
I'd like to think it started in the cramped lunchroom. With an extremely embarrassing moment. My co-worker needed to get past me and, this being in the morning, I was struggling with...well, that embarrassing thing that happens to guys in the morning. I leaned back as far as I could to make way for her to pass, but we still made unintentional contact with each other as there was no avoiding it.
We laughed it off and went our own ways. Then, seven months later, we had a group meeting and we laughed about our incident. Two weeks after that, we got tipsy and we shared an intimate moment at a party. We got together that night and while it was amazing, I immediately regretted it. All of that happened while I was still with my wife, and she did nothing to deserve that.
I was gone for a week for work. Got back to my building after a flight home and had no ride. She forgot to come pick me up. I finally got a hold of her, came to pick me up half drunk, went back to our house, I was unpacking and turned around and she had her hair and makeup done and just said "I'm going out, see ya" and left. This was after I had been gone for a week.
The next day was Friday, she had got home after I went to bed and left for work before me. I got home, and she was already gone, and had texted me and said she was going to her friend's house to hang out for a house party for the weekend. I didn't hear from her again for two days despite calling and texting her. She got home late Sunday night and told me she "lost her phone in the couch.”
I told her this wasn't working, and she needed to leave. She packed a bag while I cracked a beer on the couch. A couple days later, my friend emailed me a boatload of pictures from the weekend she disappeared, all of her and the guy she was cheating on me with. He had posted them on his Myspace that Sunday evening. She actually continued to mess up things for me for quite a while after this, financially mostly, but eventually, I got free of that disaster and moved on happily.
I was the other guy to a married woman. I won't go into details, but her marriage wasn't that great. We were friends at work and she was always flirty; just her nature. One day, she got piercings and she told me about them. Then she sent me pictures, completely out of the blue, and later showed me in person. It was all downhill from there.
I broke it off after a couple of months because I wasn't comfortable seeing her while she was married.
She kept deleting all her texts... I got suspicious and told her I had a cool program on my PC that picks up all texts wirelessly. Confronted her saying I had seen them on my PC, she admitted it without me seeing a thing.
I cheated on my girlfriend in college with an old fling when I thought we were breaking up. As time went on, my old fling and I fell even more in love with each other. I got so sick with guilt and anxiety that I had to tell my girlfriend about what I was up to (which, I guess, was even more selfish of me). We tried to work it out and even got married.
Obviously, things didn't go as well after. I'm almost 40 now and I still regret it. I still get anxious about it sometimes. Not worth it. At all.
One morning, I went to brush my teeth and my toothbrush was wet. I found that odd, so I asked my girlfriend if she had used the blue toothbrush, and she said “yeah” all casual. I said that the pink toothbrush was hers, and she played it off like she didn’t know. I suddenly realized that we had been using the same toothbrush for a few weeks, and it kind of grossed me out. That started a very small argument. I went to work, as did she, but she didn’t come home that night. The next morning, I called her out and she admitted that she slept with another guy who "didn’t think she was gross."
I was stuck in a relationship I hated, and I met the other girl in a club. It was awesome initially because the new girl was everything my girlfriend wasn't. She was passionate, fun, and spontaneous. I couldn't see a future with my girlfriend, so I decided to end it with her. I liked the new one too much to not tell her what I did, so I did.
She didn't want to be a part of the emotional baggage, and we parted ways somewhat amicably.
My sister was unwittingly the other woman—and she found out in the worst way possible. It was when she went on vacation with the guy and his wife called his phone. The wife informed her that he was married with four kids. That was bad enough, but to add to the creep factor, his wife had just recently given birth and he named the child after our younger sister!
My husband’s affair started shortly after we got married. We lived in an apartment complex and all the mailboxes were in the lobby area. I checked the mail while he was at work like I always did. I opened a card, not paying attention to who it was addressed to. Its contents were shocking. But the front of the card read: “I miss you in the morning, I miss you in the evening…” and the inside of the card read, “…but I especially miss you at night!”
There was also a drawing of a woman in bed wearing a negligée. And it was signed, “I miss you and love you,” with a woman’s name. When I saw it was addressed to my husband, my heart dropped. We had only been married for three months. So I immediately gathered all of his items and threw them into the hallway. He came home and tried to come into the door, but I had the chain lock on it. He was like, “What the heck is going on?”
I said, “Your girlfriend misses you. We’re over and you can go stay with her.” and I opened the door wide enough to throw the card and envelope into the hall. About 15 minutes later, there was a knock at my door. It was my next-door neighbor. I had seen him around, but we hadn’t made formal introductions yet. Well, I was in for an even bigger shock.
I opened the door and my husband was standing down the hallway. The neighbor said, “Hi, you accidentally got my mail today. MY NEIGHBOR HAD THE EXACT FIRST AND LAST NAME AS MY HUSBAND. He said, “My wife has been out of town on a business trip, she sent the card to me.” I said, “Nuh-uh, I don't believe it!” and shut the door on him.
Five minutes later, there was another knock at my door. I looked to see my next-door neighbor again, but this time, he was holding up his driver’s license and the card envelope. His license showed that he has the exact name as my husband, and the card envelope has their apartment number on it.
I was really into reading romantic stories online for my daily self-improvement. I wrote a few myself and would even chat on the discussion boards. There was an older woman in her late 30s with whom I chatted, and I found out she worked near my apartment. We arranged to meet during her lunch break and I went to pick her up.
She was like, "Let's skip lunch and go back to your place." We did this a few times a week for a few months—until I found out the truth about her. She was married. Not happily, but still married. She eventually stopped calling me or messaging me for lunch dates, which was fine because I was not about to arrange any more of them for us anyway.
In high school, I had a girlfriend who was as sweet as can be. I cheated on her with one of the popular girls at my school. I thought it was going to be a new relationship, but I was so wrong. It was just a fling. The popular girl ended up using me and then moved on. I ended up confessing to my girlfriend and her heart was broken.
Her mom yelled at me. I couldn't even talk to her after I broke her down. The feeling of being THAT guy was painful. I hated it and I never want to be that again. Nowadays, I'm too empathetic to betray someone I truly like. Her pain hurt me so much that it is a lesson I will never forget. I have been cheated on since, so I guess that's my karma.
Instead of revenge cheating, I just end the relationship right there.
My co-worker introduced me to her single friend, and I eventually married her. But the entire time, I was hiding something. I was more interested in my co-worker. At some point, I let her know that, and we started an affair. It went on for a few years. Hotels, training rooms, quiet rooms, vehicles...it was amazing. But as time went on, I started feeling pretty guilty.
The pandemic ended up coming at a good time because it forced me and my co-worker to separate from each other for a little while. My wife still doesn't know.
My story is like something out of Black Mirror: Girlfriend of six years went out of town with a couple of her girlfriends for a weekend. I decided to check her Facebook profile to see if she posted any new pics or whatever and noticed that this one guy liked almost every status she posted. He never commented.
I was just curious about who he was because she never mentioned him. His profile was mostly private, but he had a couple pictures and statuses that I could view. Just figured it was a classmate or something (she's in law school) until I scrolled upon a picture that stood out: It was a pic of his parked car that a hit and run driver smacked into overnight while street parked.
I almost kept scrolling when something hit me—the background of picture gave me a weird feeling. His car was parked on the street that I recognized because of the brick roads that we have downtown. Upon closer inspection, the reason I recognized it was because it was right outside my girlfriend's house. When she got back I talked to her about it.
Of course, she at first came up with a BS story about how some friends from school crashed at her place because she lives near downtown and they couldn't drive. I'm not an idiot though because I know she'd tell me if somebody hit her friend's car outside her house. Eventually she broke down and confessed she'd been cheating for a year. It turned my life inside out.
We had plans to move in a week after I found out and I was going to propose on our anniversary a few weeks after that. I got out of the relationship, even though she is still begging to this day for forgiveness... It's just so weird because of the coincidence I came across this pic, that the pic was even public, and the fact that if the picture was taken a foot closer to the damage, I'd have never known. I just got such a weird feeling from the small amount details I could make out in the background.
Go to the gym, no headphones! That’s cool, house is five minutes away. Pull up in front of my house and see work buddie’s car out front. Walk in house through open garage. Son coloring at kitchen table. Ask him “Hey bud, where’s your mom?” He points at the stairs. Walk to stairs to hear moans and movement. Up to this point I had suspected the worst but never had proof. Knew I had to go look and catch her or she would say I was overreacting and tell me it wasn’t what I thought.
Walk upstairs and hear them in the spare bedroom. Walk in the room and say “well this is awkward.” They freak out and try to grab clothes and tell me nothing is happening. I walk out to my car and have ex-buddy chase me out and tell me to hit him. I go to my command (I’m in the military) the next day. Report him and have the command force him to call his wife that day and let her know. I am now divorced and much happier!
My ex-wife, the mother of my three kids: “My boss offered me a higher position in his new company if I slept with him. I had no choice!”
Brother of mine caught his wife cheating. Her phone would always be going off and she would hide it. He got curious, looked into it, and found some guy had been texting her for a few months. She said she was going to stay home because she had to catch up on homework over the weekend. My brother and I went on our hunting trip and he told me about it.
We never left the city, we went to my house and stayed there till it got dark, then drove back to his neighborhood in my neighbor’s car. She sent him a picture of her at home saying she was going to go to bed early that night. Well, we snuck close to the house after a car parked down the street and a guy walked to the house and let himself in.
My brother was fuming at this point and wanted to beat the crap out of the guy. I settled him down and told him to think about the long run. We snuck up to the house and using the night vision camera got video of them bumping uglies in the living room. My brother wanted to confront this guy at this point so... I did something messed up and called the cops. I said I heard a lot of yelling from the house and asked if they could go check. It kept my brother from messing with the dude (a coworker of hers).
Cops show up, take statements. We leave and the next day he pulls her iMessages off the email account and talks to a lawyer. We give the lawyer the messages and when we show up five days later from our "hunting trip," he calls her and says he got something wild and wants her to come out and see it.
When she comes out he gives her divorce papers and kicks her out of the house. She had the police do a civil stand by while she got her stuff a few days later. House was his before they got married so all she got to keep was some stuff they bought together and her car. No kids and the prenup nullified the alimony she could have gotten as he made way more money than her.
The guy she was sleeping with had a record. We saw her a few months later, she tried talking to my wife and said she missed my brother and she was sorry, the guy and her broke up shortly after the divorce.
I knew my ex wife was cheating but didn’t tell her that I knew. Took her out to dinner and I casually asked questions about who she had been spending time with while I was at sea, she barely worked so she had to spend her time doing something. She failed to mention the guy that had been staying at my house for nearly 2 months, the guy she had to call the cops on just to get to leave because I was coming home in 2 days...soooo I slid her a copy of the police report that was filed for the incident and watched as she crumbled over the fact she had been caught, and I didn’t have to say a word.
I was pregnant with my oldest daughter and had extreme pain one day, so I came home early from work. When I get home I see two purses that I knew weren't mine sitting on the stand. I head to my room to see if my then boyfriend could explain the purses; I'm hearing noises coming from our room. I opened the door to peek in and he is having a threesome. I close the door and just go back into the living room. I was shocked.
I was supposed to be on bedrest, but I was the only one who had a job, so I was going to school and working while he got to stay home all day. I was livid, but what was scary is that I was so furious that I remained calm. I went into the living room, sat on the couch and waited for them to come out; when they finally did I asked them if they had fun? I told them they needed to get out of my apartment.
He tried to talk to me, but I told him he needed to get out. I calmly packed off of his stuff up, had a friend come over because I couldn't do heavy lifting being 7 months pregnant and dropped his stuff off at his parents' house that night. It's still shocking to me that I remained so calm being that angry.
I may or may not have carried a heavily intoxicated girlfriend and a large amount of substances out of my boss's house (CEO of a very large company) while she was covered in her own filth so his wife wouldn't catch him as she arrived home from her sister's house a day early. How did this happen, you ask?
My old boss regularly cheated on his wife with any number of women. Well, he calls me one day, because we are friends away from work, and asks me to come to his apartment ASAP. I drive over there, and he's blitzed, and this chick is laying naked in her own filth mumbling about something. He says he has to shower and clean up because his wife is ten minutes away so please "Get that out of here."
I grab the girl and help her to her feet and cover her up with a t-shirt. As I'm walking her out, he yells for me to grab the party bag. The only bag is a Dopp kit. I grab it, jump in my car and drive off. This girl is blasted! She doesn't know where she lives and is sure she's having a heart attack. So, I calm her down somewhat and reach in her purse and find her ID.
Luckily, she has her current address on it, and I take her home. I drive back to my house and pull into the driveway and remember the Dopp kit. I open it up and there's a LOT of illegal substances in there. I got a steak dinner and a few beers later that week from the boss. Needless to say, I no longer work there.
My ex cheated on me while I was deployed. She wound up getting engaged to the guy. Before I changed duty stations, she reached out to say goodbye. We hooked up. While she was asleep, I found his underwear drawer and left a note that said, “Cheaters cheat. By the way, I didn’t use protection.” I signed it. Hard not to think fondly on that memory…
Ex girlfriend told me she was going to a "girls only" pool party with some of her fellow waitresses from the restaurant she worked at.
I had felt something weird going on for a bit and had put a lot of effort into making that night a surprise "date night." I worked that morning, while she worked in the evening. While she was at work I cleaned the whole apartment (that we shared), cooked a fancy surf and turf dinner with filet mignon, lobster tails, butter pasta, expensive wine, etc. Also rented a few movies I knew she would like. So when after dinner she suddenly told me she was going to this pool party at around 10 pm (!!!) and I couldn't come I was pretty exasperated and knew something was not right.
Noticed she was putting her phone face down every time she received a text about this party. While she is putting on her sexiest bikini to wear under her clothes on her way over to this party I decide to look at the phone and it's some dude from her work (under the name Angela in her phone), telling her he can't wait to see her, can't stop thinking about the other night, etc. Scroll down a bit and they even said they loved each other. There's not really a worse feeling in the world when you are in love with someone and they do that to you.
She comes back into the room and queue one of the worst nights I've ever had as she blames all of this on me not proposing to her quickly enough (we were 22, relatively poor, and in college and I did want very much to marry her). She trashes the apartment, breaks the screen off of my laptop, cuts up a few of my favorite shirts, and breaks MY phone after going through it looking for some sort of justification for her actions and finding none by throwing it at the wall and stomping on it. But hey...it was satisfying knowing that I wasn't going crazy and I learned some valuable life lessons.
We had been married for a few years and it was great, but once we had a baby, he panicked. All of a sudden he didn’t know what he wanted. Eventually, he asked me for space. We still spoke but he wasn’t involved with our baby or fixing our marriage. Ten months later, I added a new Amazon Echo to our family Prime account and I noticed a device I didn’t recognize.
I figured out that the device was set up at the place where he was currently living. Since it was linked to our account, I was able to go through voice requests and play them back. One recording sent chills up my spine. It was my husband saying, “Alexa, play beautiful love songs” while in the background I can hear intimate noises. Turns out, he was having an affair with a colleague.
They’d been having an affair since at least the birth of our daughter, but lots of clues say it started before. It was easier to end it considering how long he had already been gone. When I originally shared this on social media, it got picked up by a tabloid newspaper with the headline ‘Amazon Slimeball’ which is now what he is saved as in my contacts forever.
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