“Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be around. Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t respect, appreciate, and value you. Spend your life with people who make you smile, laugh, and feel loved.”—Roy T. Bennett.
Respect is a fundamental part of life and sometimes it feels like there isn’t enough of it in humanity. However, as important as it is, there are some people who take advantage of others and in doing so, lose the respect of those around them. Here are some examples of times when people quickly destroyed what little respect they might have gotten from the rest of us, shared by the users of Reddit.
Had a boss who approved my vacation for Christmas week. When I returned he asked me how my trip was and I told him it was fun. Said that my family had taken a vacation to Disneyland and spent time together (four of us work 50+ hours a week so time is tough to find) and he instantly backlashes and tells me that if he knew I was going there, my time off would have instantly been denied and I would have to work extra to make up for lost sales time. I'm sorry that where I go during my time off changes whether or not it is allowed.
Working at a restaurant. My boss charged a colleague for a table's bill because that table had left without paying and were seated in her section, thus being her responsibility. The bill was 75 pounds. We're paid 6.95 an hour. This was on Christmas day.
One sentence: "I can't believe he's not over his dad's death yet!"
The kid's dad had died barely two months ago at the time.
New boss told me he wanted me "Overworked and underpaid." Yes, I totally want to work for you now. When can I apply for a permanent change of station?
Treating someone badly because "everyone else was already doing it."
Any conversation which goes like this:
Them (someone from outside the UK): "Where are you from?"
Me (I'm brown): "UK"
"Ok, but where are you originally from?"
"I mean, where did your parents come from?"
"Also England, born and raised."
"If you're asking for my ethnicity, I have distant roots in Asia. But that isn't really what you asked for."
"Yeah, you didn't look British, I knew you must be from Asia."
"... I'm not. I'm from the UK."
It's 2017, yet some people still can't accept the concept of being fully British, whilst not being white.
Told me a story about how he helped his friend cheat on his girlfriend. Not a great way to impress a woman, guys...
A year or so after I met my father-in-law he proceeds to brag to me that he can still "function" at 70. Then tells me about the girlfriends he has around town. I was about 50 at the time, and told him I didn't think cheating on your wife was something to brag about. Needless to say, we're not close.
Told me that I was "betraying my black brothers and sisters" by dating a white man.
I'm half-white and half-black, and he's still a racist asshole.
I love my boyfriend, regardless of skin color.
Kinda late to the party, but here's my story: I went to a smallish high school with about 400 students. Basically, the only thing anyone cared about was football, which was normal, so no big deal. Anyway, the coach's son was voted on Homecoming court, which is also kind of a big deal. However, this kid was failing some of his classes, which meant according to school policy, he wouldn't be able to walk for Homecoming court.
When his dad heard about this, he marched into the principal's office and started cussing out the principal and threatening to quit in the middle of the season if his son couldn't walk. Of course, the attitude about football being what it was, the principal wimps out and makes an exception. When I heard about this, I immediately lost any shred of respect that I had for the coach.
From what I had heard, he always talked about how important it was that his players keep up with their grades and have integrity in every aspect of their lives. I guess that doesn't include him or his son. He ended up quitting the next year anyway for some other reason.
My manager doing what I just told a customer we can't do because of policy.
"I want to return this gift card, it doesn't work."
"We can't do that, we do not do returns on gift cards because we can not verify the balance. If there is an issue with the gift card you need to contact Visa and have them solve the issue."
My computer system is even set up so that if you try to return it like you are supposed to, it'll tell you to screw off. Customer asks for manager and manager just gives her the value of card plus the fee by returning it as a "Non-taxable Item."
The reason it's policy is because it's a scam and they want to double dip. They used the card and they want to see if they can get the cash they just spent back again.
And of, course the customer came back two more times and asked to return the card again and again. In total, she got $615 because my manager is such a wuss and so scared of getting negative reviews.
A baby was admitted to the hospital because it had cancer (amongst other things).
Lady says "It got what it deserves, everything happens for a reason."
Right, this person who is barely a few months olds was such an evil person that God thought it deserved cancer.
A couple people I know have done this lately: made a gofundme for some trivial garbage. I'm not going to give details on the specific fundraisers just in case but take my word for it: it's the most poorly disguised, pathetic attempt to beg for money I've ever seen from someone who absolutely doesn't need it.
A "buddy" of mine in high school once told a girl I had a crush on that I had scabies. She stopped even associating with me after that. I then found out he did that so he could try and court her. For the record, no, I did not have scabies.
My RA freshman year of college: she had just lost a board game and threw a fit. At first I thought she was joking, but soon realized she was completely serious. A 20-year old having a tantrum over Ticket to Ride. In front of her friends and residents. Thinking it made her seem "scary" rather than juvenile. Never could respect her after that.
When I was an RA I had a resident who got really drunk and started spouting off a lot of homophobic stuff in the middle of the hall, making another resident cry. Later on, another resident whom I had a lot of respect for, class president, triple major, pretty much came from nothing, came up talking to me telling me I shouldn't write the drunk person up because she was just spouting off the truth about "Them." Never looked at her the same way again.
I took my son to work with me, while I was on holiday, to pick up a paycheck. I met our shipper and introduced my son who has a slight speech impediment. My son said "Hello" and stammered on the "H." The shipper started to laugh at him. I took my son's hand and we walked away. Didn't speak to the shipper again.
Friend was upset his ex didn't pay him for "babysitting" his kids. Not much more to say there...
My girlfriend's mum has MS and is now struggling with mobility. At a recent Christian concert, a friend of my girlfriend's who has been a brilliant friend for twenty years said: "if she came to church and followed the Lord this wouldn't have happened to her." 20 years of friendship gone in a sentence.
Ex-girlfriend found someone's ATM card left in the machine. Promptly went on a shopping spree. I was so furious. People like her are the reason I have a panic attack when I can't find my wallet. Just a straight up scummy thing to do.
Littering. I was out with a guy, we stopped at Taco Bell and were walking with a couple of tacos. He finished his first one and let the wrapper flutter to the ground. I'm typically non-confrontational but kind of knee-jerked a shocked reaction. He blew it off and I thought maybe he was just embarrassed. But after the next taco, he doubled down and dropped that wrapper too. Lost all respect for him in that moment.
Another time I was walking with some co-workers when one flicked a cigarette butt onto the sidewalk. Someone else said something and her response was, "but it's so small and New York is so dirty anyway." Ugh, go home.
I was crossing a street intersection and someone in a car waiting for the green light threw a plastic bag full of garbage on the side of the road. It was so infuriating that I picked it up and threw it back into the car making sure that the garbage flew all over inside his car. It was a great feeling walking past him and hearing him scream.
Supervisor kept giving me additional work that wasn't my responsibility (I was less than two weeks into a new job in a warehouse) and eventually another supervisor asked what I was doing, so I told them, and they cussed the other supervisor out for putting myself and other people in danger when I had not been trained how to offload trucks and navigate the docks. Ever since then, when this first supervisor tells me to do work, I ask someone else first.
When I was in grad school, I went into a competitive but very social lab. One postdoc, in particular, went out of his way to make me feel welcome and that he was a good friend of mine. He let me stay with him while I was looking for an apartment, showed me around for the good lunch places, let me tag along to some social events. This is a big deal to a new PhD student at the bottom of the social ladder in a big new place that can be pretty lonely. It was great to have one good friend.
One Friday, I stopped by his office to see if he wanted to hang out that night, just generally see what was going on. He said that he was going out with a fellow postdoc, let's call him Bob, and some other folks in the lab. Then he said, chuckling, "but you can't come, Bob doesn't like women." He just laughed in that nudge-and-wink, "you know what I mean, some people are just like that" way. Everyone else in the lab was a man, and invited, but I was the only one not allowed to go out with them. I couldn't believe that he wouldn't stand up for me at least a little bit in that situation. Many other times after that he was sweet as pie with me to my face and I later found out he had said bad things about me. I'm not even sure what he said about Bob was true (though he was sort of a piece of work). We remained friendly, but I no longer respected him.
A family member of mine recently found out she had been infected with Zika, she was six months pregnant. After trying to get pregnant for years with no luck, she had given up hope of ever having a baby but by some miracle was able to conceive. When she told her mother-in-law the news that horrible woman said to her "I should have known this would happen when I first met you and saw the way you were dressed" implying that because she wore short-shorts and wore tank tops, she wasn't a worthy mother. Poor girl was devastated and blamed herself for getting Zika even though no one knew it was in the area at that time. Still, she decided that she would carry the baby to term. He was born two weeks ago. No microcephaly. No health issues of any kind. Also, and this is the real kicker, he tested negative for exposure to the virus.
I knew a guy in my freshmen year of college, he was an aspiring musician and was very depressed about his recent ex-girlfriend. He would frequently complain that women only like stupid muscular guys and how he never got laid because of that. I would go home almost every weekend and sometimes I would come back to hear about how he got drunk and got laid, but then would just complain a few days later about how he never got laid.
Finally, toward the end of the second semester a friend of mine had a girl up for the weekend (I was home) he and the girl hit it off and they ended up sleeping together a few times that night. The girl liked him and suggested that they maybe start talking and possibly go on a date. He tells her no and that "this isn't going past right now" the girl becomes noticeably bummed out so he asks my other friends if they can drive her home. Context, it's 2 am my school was in NH and she lived in Maine. My friends said no initially, but he said they could drop her at a halfway point so they agreed. They drop her off at a McDonalds at about 4 am and head back. He tells my friends that her dad or friend will be there to get her soon.
I come back on Monday and he tells me in private the whole story, when he gets to the part about the McDonald’s he admits that there was nobody coming for her and he lied to my other two friends in order to "get rid of her" Worst part is that he's LAUGHING as he says all this and expected me to laugh too. Couldn't be in the same room with him after that.
Guys who feel the need to make sexual comments about girls at every turn. You're not being alpha, you're not proving how manly you are. You sound like a dirty old perv and you make me not want to hang around with you.
For your information, I’m a dude.
Dude squeezed my then-girlfriend's breast right in front of me then tried to laugh it off because he's gay and "would rather play with this guy's big dong" (referring to a random guy standing within earshot).
I still can't believe I had to explain to this guy that being gay doesn't entitle you to touch other people's bodies without permission. I don't go around grabbing people's penises and saying "it's okay, I'm straight," then harass some stranger to try and prove it.
Anyone who sells pyramid scheme products. I met a nice girl at work, she had bachelors in biology and seemed very level-headed yet a few weeks later she messaged me asking if I could use more energy in my life because she has found this GREAT new product by Level called Thrive!
Had a friend of 10+ years who totaled his car (with me in it), ran away on foot, and proceeded to falsify a police report saying it was stolen. Then he told his family the same Grand Theft Auto story. He got off scot-free, then his grandma bought him a new car (and she is not a wealthy person). He played the victim when it was his fault, lied to the law, and more importantly, to everyone he loved most. Yeah, bailed out of that friendship with the quickness.
My boyfriend's brother and wife. She has a bad case of baby fever but can't conceive and has had several miscarriages. There have been two instances where she wants a puppy to calm her "baby fever" so she gets her husband to get her a puppy. A few months later, she gets pregnant and lo and behold, they can't keep the dog anymore because "we're having a baby."
Instead of taking the dog to the shelter, they abandon it in someone's backyard. My boyfriend confronted him about it but he just shrugged it off and said "he had no choice." Yes, you did, you just decided to be an asshole. A couple weeks later, she miscarries. Then they get ANOTHER dog after that because she's depressed. A couple months later, they for some reason can't take of it anymore so they abandon it at my boyfriend's parents and the woman still has the nerve to call it her "baby." She is not your baby, you decided to abandon her for whatever crazy reason and then you still get another dog. This dog they've kept the longest but now they're talking about giving it up again because he "poops and pees everywhere." Then house train it, you people...
She always pines that she wants a baby, but I honestly hope they never do because they are just selfish people.
After listening to my manager praise a friend of mine at work for his hard work, she decided to have a hearty laugh about how she hoped he didn't think he was going to be working here much longer-as layoffs were coming after the holidays. Being insensitive is just so ridiculously annoying to me.
Anyone who tries to "one-up" me in the presence of others/friends/family just so they can feel validated and get their ego puffed up.
A college girl I worked with on campus bragged about how she told off a manager who politely asked her to order or leave at a restaurant downtown where she was studying and not buying anything. She told him that the whole town is her library, the only reason he had a job was because of students like her (college town), and that she was going to college to do something meaningful with her life and make a difference so she wouldn't end up a sad restaurant manager like himself.
I was so stunned I couldn't say anything. I have never heard anything more bratty and self-entitled in my life.
Not owning up to a little mistake. The failure to assume liability. Some of the time it can appear like such a minor thing in setting, yet it uncovers a HUGE character imperfection that doubtlessly stretches out into each part of a man's life.
A friend once stole my Ritalin and every other friend of mine just watched him do it. I found out weeks later and asked them why the hell they didn't tell me. They gave some bull about it not being their problem, and they thought I knew, and they didn't want to ruin my friendship with that guy... it was a wake-up call moment that I couldn't trust any one of them.
One of my best friends at the time got inebriated and ended up stealing quite a bit of absolutely useless—like 110% useless to him, hair curlers and straightening sprays and crap—things. Got caught with them trying to leave a party where everyone knows everyone.
The person he was stealing from was a single mother, hosting the party.
Looking for a student house, a letting agent was taking us on viewings and was spouting off about how reasonable and trustworthy their company was. When asked about how viewings work once we live in a house they tell us, "We'll always give you 24 hours notice minimum, ask you to clean up a bit. If we don't contact you then you have every right to turn us away."
They'd shown us some nice houses at decent prices, but at the end of the tour they say there's one more they could show, the only problem being they haven’t contacted the tenants. Rock up on their door to check if they're ok with it, and the agent starts lying to and manipulating the tenant saying that he'd definitely told them about this and although no one in the house knew about the viewing would it be ok to look around. Suddenly I felt a lot less safe about being in a contract with this agent.
A couple of years after my mom died, my dad kind of randomly told me I was lucky I was born. I knew my mom had a couple miscarriages between my older sister and me, but then my dad proceeds to brag about how mom had caught him cheating with some hairdresser. He said, "She would just come over every lunch break and we'd drive out in the desert and screw." Lost a lot of respect that day.
There used to be a homeless man that would sleep outside of the pizza place I used to work at. Never bothered anyone, never asked for food, though we did offer him some when we had leftover pies. Middle of winter, he stopped coming around. Couple of weeks later, a coworker tells me him and his friends dumped water on the poor guy while he was sleeping for fun, thinking I would think it was funny. Yeah, no.
When our 26-day-old daughter died my wife and I hunkered down and quit showing up to church for a while. A friend from there finally touched base with me months later, and I asked him why no one had come looking for us or tried to help after the funeral. He said, "I've known people who have had miscarriages before, and it didn't take this long to get over it. When are you going to get over it?" This conversation was almost six years ago and my blood still boils when I think about these words.
I went over to my girlfriend's house one night with the plan to break up with her. We started having the conversation and she gets emotional and started crying and we were going through the whole breakup thing. Her little dog jumped into her lap and she basically threw it across the room because she was being a child and didn't want it on her right then. I have never hit a woman before but I came close.
I loved that dog more than I liked her by a huge margin. It made the rest of the breakup pretty easy because I told her how awful she was and left right then. No more conversation because she just proved to me she was exactly what I thought she was. There is never an excuse to take your anger out on something so innocent.
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