A family member or friend’s funeral is typically an event where people gather to mourn their loss. Occasionally, completely bizarre or inappropriate things can send these somber events off the rails, whether it's the fault of the priests, the funeral home, or family and friends. From calling the deceased the wrong name to not following funeral instructions, these are the most inappropriate things that have happened at funerals.
At my mom's funeral a couple of years ago, a long-time acquaintance of the family, who was also a top-earning realtor in town, came up to me right before the funeral service and, after offering her condolences, slipped me her business card and asked me to “keep her in mind” when my brother and I got ready to sell my mom's house. The card went in the trash and I gave the listing to a new, young, hard-working realtor who was just starting out.
At my friend's mom's funeral, who by the way, passed in a horrific accident in which her car ran her over in reverse and dragged her down the hill of her driveway while her son was in the passenger seat, the priest said something along the lines of, “Tragedies like these occur because people have to pay for all the sins of mankind.” It was sick. The family was so angry.
At my uncle's funeral a few years ago, my cousin's neighbor spent the entire time following me around and hitting on me. This was despite the fact that I made it adamantly clear that I was living with somebody thousands of miles away and the fact that I was devastated about my uncle's passing.
The preacher at my wife's grandfather's funeral mentioned in the eulogy at least a solid dozen times that the grandfather was poor. He mentioned that he was so very, very poor. That he never had a dime. But, he loved his family. But, he was soooo poor. My wife's brother got so sick of it he actually stood up, in the front row, and just gave everyone a look like, “What is happening?”
At my dad's funeral, my stepmom told all my father’s friends what a brat I was as a kid. Most of them knew me and knew she was just a horrible person. I was rude to her as a kid but she broke up my parent’s marriage and tried to prevent my dad from taking visitations. She was annoyed that I insisted on taking on his flag too. She was going to donate it. I have it in a flag box in the living room and other than some photos, that is all I got.
I was the person. I laughed horribly loudly in the fully enclosed, large marble echo chamber mausoleum where we were having the service for my grandfather. My immediate family mourned after he passed, and by the time the funeral came around, we weren't particularly upset. I did cry before the service, I loved my grandfather, don't get me wrong.
My family has a kind of a dark humor vein that runs through us all, and we were laughing on the way to the cemetery about zombies coming out of the ground at the service. So, the pastor was very over the top to us non-religious people, and he was saying a lot of things that were making us internally chuckle. Then he said something that finally made me crack: "And one day, your loved one will rise from the ground and be alive again. This whole cemetery will rise, dirt will fly everywhere and you will be with your loved one again"
I had no idea how to react and I looked up to my Dad to see his reaction, and he was barely able to keep it in. He was struggling so hard not to laugh. Well, that's what did me in. I started cackling so loud. I hid my face in my hands hoping to make it look like I was crying, my mom came over and gave me a hug to try and disguise my horrible laughter as crying. And it all turned out okay in the end. The look my brother gave me as he struggled not to join me was priceless.
I'm a funeral director. This happened. We brought a man into our care who had passed from AIDS complications in 1999 or so. His parents were immigrants from Eastern Europe who were very conservative and had not known their son was gay. He had moved to Milwaukee from their little town in the sticks about ten years earlier.
Cancer was what his mom and dad were told he passed from. His friends in Milwaukee had their own services that the parents didn't attend, and I worked with the parents on a Mass of Christian Burial and interment in his hometown. The deceased's brother and sister met with the priest and asked him not to mention their brother's "lifestyle" during his homily, and explained why. He agreed.
So, the Mass starts, and the normal rituals get going, and then it's time for the priest to speak at length. A traditional Catholic homily in a conservative church like that one isn't a normal eulogy. Its purpose is to "bring glory to the Father," and if the deceased is spoken of at all, it is about his or her devotion to God and how that was evident from earthly actions.
The priest got to a certain point in his pretty much boilerplate remarks, and then took an audible breath and told everyone that he was feeling moved by the Holy Spirit to speak freely. My stomach dropped—but it was too late to do anything. He spoke about decisions that people make that are contrary to God's Plan, and how that inevitably results in corruption, and you can probably guess the rest of it.
He never actually mentioned AIDS or sexuality, but it was pretty much right there if you read even a little bit between the lines. He did not go in procession to the cemetery, rather went in his own car and was waiting for us when we all pulled up. I don't think I had even turned off the engine to the hearse when the brother got out of his car, rushed to the front of the line of cars, and got in the priest's face, who then drove away without performing the burial rites.
I was told later that the brother went with, "How dare you?" and the priest countered with, "I follow the Spirit. I had no choice." Honestly surprised the brother didn't lay him out. There are some things that happen at work that you just wish were happening on your very last day on the job.
I worked at a funeral home several years ago. One of the services happened to take place on the day of the Columbia Shuttle disaster, so there was a lot of chatter about it amongst the attendees. A relative of the deceased woman got up in front of everyone during the service and postulated that the shuttle and its crew had been struck from the sky by this lady's soul as she ascended to Heaven.
I had inappropriate comments made about my appearance by the guy driving the funeral car as we drove to bury my uncle. My family was in the car too and it was super uncomfortable. He kept looking at me in the rearview and saying how attractive he found me. Meanwhile, I'm doing my best to ignore him and was also crying because it was already a terrible enough day. It was a true nightmare.
Eventually, my dad had to remind him what we were doing so he'd shut up. It was my dad's brother who passed. I wish I'd said something too but I was so emotional I'd have ended up too angry.
A friend of mine passed in his sleep in his late 20s. They dressed him in leopard print fuzzy shorts and a band t-shirt. They played the music he liked and everyone was leaving bottles of Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew in his casket along with smokes since he used to bum them from us all the time. Then, they showed a video where he lost a dare and had a sign staple-gunned to his bare bum.
It made us laugh through the tears though. It was unusual, to say the least, but it summed up my friend's life perfectly. I guess some people might think it was inappropriate. His family had his cremains mixed with tattoo ink and had tattoos done to commemorate him.
So, I wasn't there for it, but my parents were. One of their friends dated this girl starting in high school. They knew each other since they were six years old and they loved each other madly. They planned their life together, went to the same college, and she wore his family crest ring. They decided after college since they were already living together they should get married. It was true love, which made this story so much more devastating.
He bought her an engagement ring and she wore it next to the one he gave her in high school. It was his father’s before him and his grandfather’s before that. One day, they were driving home and a guy ran the red light hitting the passenger side of the car. He woke up in the hospital, his jaw was wired shut, and one of his friends came in when the doctor said he could.
He told him she didn't make it. She had died instantly. The funeral was a week later when he could leave the hospital and his jaw was still wired shut. He wrote on a piece of paper and gave it to the funeral director telling him to leave the rings on her. She was covered in makeup and my dad noted that her hands were glued shut to look peaceful, but they had an open casket as he wished. Then things took a dark turn.
At the end of the viewing, the director's assistant walked up before people left and she pried her fingers apart to remove the rings. With his jaw wired shut he was mufflingly yelling, "NO, NO" and beginning to cry before, again with his jaw wired shut started screaming at the woman saying, "STOP! LEAVE THEM! THEY ARE HERS," all murmured.
She got the hint at this point as 20 angry Irish men ran over. The worst part? She was using a sharp blade to pry the fingers apart and cut the hand. She told someone that they were in a rush and needed her out. The poor guy lost it. This was the girl he had loved since he was 15 and they were going on 10 years of being together, but this woman was treating her like garbage.
I'm certain if one of the deceased sisters didn't physically remove the woman, knowing this guy's family, someone would have hurt her for sure. From that point on, he was a wreck. He's going on 50 now and that was still the last time he ever proposed to anyone. He had the wedding ring he was going to give her melted into a cross that he still wears. He's dating a widow now who gets it, so that's good.
At my grandma's funeral, there was a woman who had a really bad relationship with my grandma, but one of my aunts invited her to the funeral. She started receiving people as if she was a family member and tried to put herself at the center of everything.
At my great aunt’s funeral in rural Missouri, she had an open casket in a small country church. The pastor says my great aunt’s dying wish was for one more person to embrace the teachings of Jesus Christ and to stand up RIGHT NOW and receive the baptism in front of God and his congregation. Everybody’s head swiveled in my direction except the corpse’s. Nope. I’ll just stare up at the ceiling for a while guys, thanks.
At my dad's funeral, one of my cousins said something that I thought was incredibly insensitive. At the time, my cousin was late teens/early 20s, had recently "come out" as an atheist and libertarian, and I had a hard time being around him for more than a few minutes. We left the church, where the funeral service was held, and went to the luncheon-type thing after.
I heard it through the grapevine that my cousin was going around telling people that “passing doesn't matter. Heaven and the underworld aren't real. You're mourning for nothing. It's showing weakness." I'm an atheist. I don't care about people's beliefs, as long as those beliefs aren't harming others, and I certainly don't think it's appropriate to express any of my beliefs to anyone who does not ask.
Almost my entire family is Christian, and they believe in Heaven. My cousin was a giant tool that day, almost four years ago, and I haven't seen him since. I don't really want to. He was rude, inconsiderate, and he pushed his beliefs on people who didn't ask, which is something he claimed he was against.
At my grandma's funeral, my mom's boyfriend's mother pulled me aside and loudly demanded that I be nicer to her son. The boyfriend, by the way, was a 19-year-old high school dropout and only a couple of years older than me. Listen, witch, my mom and I are having a hard time right now. I don’t care about your jerkwad of a son at the moment. You want to talk to me about how much I hate him? Fine. But not at a funeral. Ugh. I still get angry about it.
My grandma was like the Steve Irwin of turtles in California, was president of turtle clubs, was pretty well known in the turtle enthusiast community, and owned over 200 turtles in her outdoor pond area. At her funeral, as family members were finishing their speeches, this Asian man no one knows comes up with a bag and starts ranting in broken English.
No one stopped him, and after about five minutes of constructing something with materials in the bag, it became apparent that he was talking about/building a turtle mating nest or whatever. He informs everyone that my grandma had thought of a new way to promote turtles mating and it changed turtle breeding. I thought this was cool, until he then informs us that this nest is his own new-and-improved idea, and thinking there would be lots of turtle enthusiasts there, he opens himself up for business to sell them…
I'm the worst when it comes to people’s passing and funerals. I have several dumb stories to tell, but this one is the dumbest by far. My coworker's teenage daughter passed unexpectedly. It was obviously awful. I was stressing about it so much. I had written a heartfelt card with all of this meaningful stuff in it. So, I endure the wake, leave the card and go home.
I'm exhausted from sobbing. I'm going through the pile of mail on my kitchen table and lo and behold, there's the card I had written for my coworker. Now, I know I left a card at the wake. As it turns out, I got two cards mixed up and gave my coworker my husband's birthday card from my parents...complete with a $50 Home Depot gift card.
I've been to many funerals, weddings, and baptisms in my day for both family and friends, and have played many, many funerals as a musician. The most memorable is when the brother of the deceased took a shot of liquor during his eulogy. During a church service. I don't know if he cleared it with the minister at the time, but it surprised me.
People handle grief differently. Some cry. Some just stare blankly. Some use their cell phones, texting or whatever. Some sing. Some people need to keep busy organizing, and making sure the "event" rolls smoothly. I usually just do my thing as a musician and go home. After you've been to a few funerals, you learn not even to cry anymore.
One of the best funerals was for a retired Royal Canadian Military Police officer. It's really difficult to play the organ when you have six fully uniformed officers standing behind and one singing right in your ear. It was a nice service. There were lots of retired officers and officials that day.
At my great aunt's funeral, a cousin of mine came into the service 30 minutes late. He then proceeded to make a ton of noise at the holy water fountain as he blessed his dog, then himself, and then walked to the front of the church and sat down for 15 minutes before leaving again. He called someone outside the church, but it was quiet enough that everyone could hear him.
My mom's funeral took place when I was 28 and after my mom had passed at 56 from cancer after three years. My grade school friend, who had been in and out of lockup and rehab, tried to ask me to hang out and "kick it" sometime while I was greeting guests after the service. Her mom and my mom were close, and I told her mom to keep her away from me. But she wasn't finished with me.
Afterward, I was Facebook messaged many times, being called a "miserable witch" and selfish because I didn't want to talk to her while she was all cracked out on whatever. It was the saddest day of my life. I'm not making plans with a tweaker.
This one guy stood on the perimeter of the graveyard, sipping on a long neck drink, an American 40 ounce, while everyone else was gathered as his friend was buried. As everyone left, he walked up to the grave and poured the remainder of his drink on it. I guess he was pouring some out for his lost homie. We are Australian, by the way.
At my grandpa's funeral in 2006, a random intoxicated woman that no one in our family knew stumbled in and started singing show tunes, then cried until she was escorted out.
At my great uncle's funeral, my crazy uncle grabbed roses from one of the bouquets and pretended to be The Bachelor. This great uncle was awesome and had a great sense of humor. He may not have minded. But, it was still mega inappropriate.
At my paternal grandmother's funeral, my maternal grandmother, who is 90 years old, senile, pretty much deaf, and screams everything, greeted me by saying, "Listen you little witch, why don't you ever call me?" She then proceeded to go through all of the floral arrangements to find the one she sent and moved it to the front so everyone could see it.
My own kids, boys ages 10 and eight, were acting incredibly inappropriate at their great-grandfather's wake. They got a chair and moved it to the casket and started making his mouth into a smiley face. They were laughing the whole time. I was absolutely horrified. When me and their grandfather, my father-in-law, saw it, I immediately pulled them away and told them they shouldn't do that.
Their grandpa laughed and said, "It's fine, he would have really loved that they did that." We later found out that the great-grandfather had asked the funeral home ahead of time to put a sign in his hand that said, "Thanks for coming," but they refused!
My Aunt Charlotte hit one of the guys who worked for the funeral home with her car during her brother's funeral. When the procession took off from the funeral home heading to the graveyard, workers from the funeral home blocked the intersection in front of the funeral home so the procession wouldn't get broken up by red lights.
We had to make a right turn there, and somehow Charlotte managed to fully hit this dude with her car. She was only going maybe a couple miles per hour, but the guy was in his 60s, and he hit his head on the road. She, and the rest of the procession, stopped until the guy got up, bleeding from his head, and waved us to keep going.
My uncle, not that I'm proud of this relation, served corn nuts he pulled out of the trash to the group of people who came over after my grandmother's funeral. My sister threw them away because the bag had been chewed open by rats. We knew it was the same bag because he had no money to buy new ones and no way to get to the store to buy them.
I had one of my cousins die tragically in a motorcycle accident while riding with his group. At the funeral service, every one of his riding buddies showed up in full leather gear on bikes and filled the Mormon meeting house. After the conclusion of the service, all the riders did a proper send off to their friend and my cousin. It was a loud, large display of motorcycle respect for one of the kindest people I ever knew. It sure as heck wasn't appropriate for a Mormon funeral but I have so much respect for those riders. Rest easy Todd!
I went to my stepmother's mother's funeral. They are both black and I'm white. It was at a very religious born-again Baptist-style church with lots of preaching and praying and saving. In the middle of it, the preacher stopped and stared right at me and my dad, the only two white Jews there, and told everyone how someone in the family needed to be saved and how my grandmother's soul was there wanting to convert us.
This was super awkward and it went on for 10 minutes. My stepmom, who was not religious at all, was super upset. I basically started to stand up and go get saved so we could all get out of there, but my stepmom hissed at me to "sit my butt down." The pastor eventually gave up.
One woman stood up and recited a poem about the affair she'd had with the deceased. The poem started with a description of their lovemaking. Oh yes, and the wife of the deceased was sitting in the front row. At least one person got up and left in disgust. Weirdly, though, the wife had zero reaction. To this day, I'm not sure whether she thought the poem was a metaphor for something, or just wasn't paying attention.
My ex was really inappropriate at his grandfather's funeral. We'd been dating for about four months at the time. We go inside and pay our respects. Afterward, we go out and decide to get some air and get away from people. The dude starts asking if I have a ring in my purse anywhere, I say no, he gets down on one knee and I can see he's about to try to propose. Yeah, no. I shut that down quickly and stopped him.
The preacher at my grandfather's funeral referred to him as "Clarence" the entire service. His name was Robert. Also, a particular Elvis song was supposed to be played at the end of the service and they chose the live version with a good 10 seconds of rousing applause at the end. The whole front row of my grandma, aunts, and uncles were trying not to giggle through the entire thing. Grandpa would have thought it was hilarious too.
When I was four years old, I was attending the funeral of the husband of a family friend. After the service, I quite boldly asked his widow, "When are you going to get a new boyfriend?" Sounds like a bad joke, I know. I wish it was.
My friend's maternal grandmother passed. She was really close to this grandma. Her paternal grandma is very insensitive and always has to one-up everyone else. When her paternal grandmother came to the funeral to show "support," she said to her daughter-in-law, "I know how you feel. I lost my mother too. It's much harder for me though because she was around much longer than your Mother."
My elderly neighbor went to the funeral of someone she had worked with before she retired. The lady that passed lived with her brother, and I think they were both a similar age to my neighbor in their early 70s. The brother may have been younger. During the actual funeral service, she said everything was fine. But at the burial, the brother went absolutely mad.
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground, he tried to throw himself onto it. He had to be physically restrained by the other mourners at the graveside. My neighbor said it was the most uncomfortable situation, as he ended up being taken home kicking and screaming by another family member.
My friend's father passed while we were in college. His girlfriend came to the funeral and got upset that he wasn't paying enough attention to her. She pulled him aside and started berating him. He just looked at her and said, "I'm going to go bury my father now. You should leave." He officially broke up with her the next day.
I recently went to a funeral for a gay friend of mine. The guy leading the service opened up with, "I met him on Grindr and boy did we have some good times." Maybe it's just me, but if the only thing people can talk about was the intercourse we had, I'd be so embarrassed.
My brother passed from a cardiac issue. He had been known to hang out with the wrong crowd. Everyone was convinced he passed from a drug overdose. An autopsy confirmed it was not. At the wake, at least 20 different people essentially demanded to know the cause of his passing because they wanted to confirm gossip. I started intercepting these from my parents and politely told these people to leave.
My wife's grandmother passed suddenly. Now, my wife wasn't the “Golden Child” by any stretch, but her cousin is. The Golden Child had a baby with some cracked-out loser while she was cracked out then ended up in lockup a couple times. My wife was the “Black Sheep” for dying her hair and piercing her nose. I married such a badass.
When the Golden Child found out about her grandma's passing, she threw a total freaking hissy fit over the phone from lockup about how embarrassing it'll be to show up in shackles…As if there's something anyone who's not a judge can do to change that. The Golden Child decided that she just won't show. Well, the day of the service comes and we hear the distinct clanking of shackles coming in.
Here comes the Golden Child in shackles and guards and sits right in front of us. She then has her kid who was about three years old playing all in the pews. The kid wouldn't shut up and the cracked-out mom wouldn't do anything. This dynamic duo wrecked the moment of silence, the prayers, the eulogy, and the procession. So, in short, don't do crack and show up to a funeral in shackles. It'll embarrass even the prison guards.
I was a pallbearer at my best friend's funeral. Two of the other pallbearers, who were big wrestling fans, were talking rather loudly during the graveside service about how my best friend Brian would come back and chokeslam them like the Undertaker.
At my grandpa's funeral, when everybody was going up to the casket to pay their respects, one of my cousins who was 30 years old picked up the tie my dead grandfather was wearing. He held it in his hands for a little bit and then asked my grandma where he bought it from. He wanted to get something similar. Keep in mind, he did this during the funeral, in public, while my grandma was standing next to him and her dead husband.
My half-brother contacted my grieving dad about what insurance money my mom might have left him after her passing. The money was used to pay for her funeral. He continued to argue with my dad. I thought it was rude as heck.
At my grandfather's funeral, his brother, and my uncle, received a phone call. He proceeded to answer it and casually scheduled his next doctor's appointment. This was right in the middle of the service.
Our roommate in college passed and we all went to the funeral together. About eight of us lived together. One roommate parked right in front of the garage of our building as the parking lot was full. It was clearly a place you wouldn't normally park, but it was full and he figured nobody would bother him. He regularly did abnormal social stuff and would assure us it was ok.
In the middle of the funeral and at the worst time, someone comes on the speaker and has to ask the person with the big black truck with Florida plates to move their vehicle as soon as possible. We couldn't stop laughing about it and our roommate was too.
My step-grandmother passed a few months before the Borat movie came out. So, everyone was in full-blown Borat mode. Someone's phone went off and their ringtone was Throw The Jew Down The Well. She, as well as most of the people attending the funeral, were all Jewish.
It was my grandfather's funeral and somehow that one family member…you know the type…found out about it. To give a little background, he's been an alcoholic for decades and it has definitely damaged his brain. I'm sure he was very nice before but I've only ever known him in this way. Now to the fun part…He showed up in jean shorts and a tee-shirt with a bald eagle and American flag on it.
He also started clapping about two minutes into the service at the church during total silence. His interaction with the ushers went something like this, "Sir you have to stop clapping," "Wooo," with more furious clapping. "Sir you must stop, you're disrupting everyone and it's disrespectful," "Well I think it's really respectful." The usher was so baffled he just walked away. But he was just getting started...
During the bagpipes, he tried to dance. While we were driving to the graveyard, he began to play the banjo which was visible through his open window, veered to try and hit a soccer ball that rolled into the street, and then forgot he was in a procession and got out of line and sped away. He started singing during the burial and the priest had to reprimand him. Twice.
My personal favorite thing that he did was throw the rose on the casket while screaming, "HERE YA GO YA WIZARD." We can only assume because my grandfather was a science teacher. He got cut off at the wake so went to get his 12 pack out of his truck. He got angry with my mother for cutting him off so he barked at her like a feral dog.
The room fell silent and my tall mother stared at this short little man and told him to, "Sit down and shut the heck up or get out." It was honestly one of the most hilarious funerals I've ever been too and I take comfort in the fact that it is 100% what my grandfather would have wanted, believe it or not.
Honestly, we were all so angry that this one woman showed up at all. The dead guy hated her. She showed up wearing a Little Mermaid t-shirt and Pikachu hat. While the priest spoke, she stood up and paced in front of him a few times, then sat next to the dead guy's grieving fiance and told her, "No one is more upset about this than me."
Someone discreetly pulled her away and sat her down three rows back where she loudly sobbed, wailed, sniffed, and professed her grief. When the service ended, she stood up in front of the casket and invited everyone in the room to a party she was hosting that night.
This happened at my father's funeral. A neighbor we don't see very much approached my mother and asked if she was planning to sell my parent's house now that she was alone. He wanted to move his mother in from out of state. He then asked if she could stop by sometime and identify the owner of the garbage that was blowing into his property. He did all of this while holding up the condolences line.
This didn’t occur exactly at the funeral, but it was at a memorial service to spread the ashes of the deceased. Two of his closest friends and a few close relatives each spoke of a brief memory about the man and then spooned out some of the remains and scattered them. When his best friend takes his turn, he says, "This is how much I loved Jeremy." What he did next shocked everyone. He proceeds to EAT the spoonful of ashes.
There was a very audible gasp from nearly everyone. Then, the deceased man's brother yells, "Did you just eat part of my brother?" He then tried to punch him while the friend was held back by three other relatives. It ended the service abruptly, with everyone walking quickly back to their cars to leave. It certainly made a lasting memory.
When I was little, I went to a funeral for a man who had been killed during a home invasion. My family knew the guy relatively well since my dad was on his bowling team. During the funeral, we sat in the balcony area of the church right above the guy's widow and his five kids. As the funeral progressed, the dead guy's daughter, who was about 12 years old at the time, started to cry, as did her younger brother who was seven.
Their mother, who was decked out in the typical grieving widow outfit, reached over and smacked both of them across the face and told them to stop crying. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I told my mom what happened and she said she saw it as well. I may have been young, but I knew something was wrong. As it turns out, the "grieving widow” killed her husband and intended on taking out her kids too, all to be with her new lover. But, the house didn't go up in flames like she hoped, so her kids survived and her new hopes and dreams disappeared.
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