Truly Deranged Relationship Drama

Truly Deranged Relationship Drama

Nobody wants to be alone—but it has to be better than these psychotic relationships. We’re going to lay off the dating apps for a while after reading these stories.


1. Pulling A Fast One

My ex-girlfriend delivered a baby while I was in the delivery room and turns out it wasn’t mine. She was 16, while I was 15. All along, I was under the impression that the kid was mine and it was time for me to be an adult. I took all the classes, read the books, and worked every night and weekend to save whatever money I could as a 15-year-old.

When I finally got the call that she was in labor, I had somebody rush me to the ER. Luckily for her, it didn’t last long—only about six hours—but there was a complication. The baby came out with the umbilical cord wrapped around its neck. The doctor assured us it was going to be OK, but the nurses were prepping for things to go south. When the baby came out, it was a light shade of purple.

The nurses immediately took the baby and put on the smallest mask they had on it; to help it get the oxygen I guess. I was too panicked to ask a lot of questions. They told us they needed to keep the baby on watch overnight, so I stayed in the room with my ex. The next evening, the baby was back in the room with us and all seemed well. The ex was asleep, and the same nurse from the night before came into the room and beckoned me out.

She told me that at risk of her losing her job, she had to break some harsh news to me. She said that kid was not mine and that, while at this stage it wasn’t obvious, over the next few weeks it would become clear that the kid was mixed. Since both of us were white, there was a high probability that it wasn’t mine. Cue a mixed bag of emotions, and me promptly waking my ex to get a little clarification.

I came to find out that she knew the chances and was just hoping it was mine because it worked better for her. Apparently, her father was old school and bigoted, and she didn’t want to have to deal with that. I left the hospital to collect my thoughts, and a few weeks later, I was served with child support papers. One DNA test and about six weeks later, I was determined to be 0.0% that kid’s father.

Wherever that nurse is now, I hope her life is amazing. I understand that she was not supposed to get involved in the personal side of things, but she saved me a lot of additional headaches.

Nope_Thats_Not_Me

2. Ditched

My ex got custody of our three kids and got 70% of my take-home pay for child support which required me to move into the barracks. Then she immediately moved out of state without telling me, despite the divorce decree requiring my consent. All but guaranteeing I would have no contact with my kids. And that’s not even the crazy part.

The crazy part is that just a few years later she decided she didn’t want to be a mother anymore so she signed up with a carnival and left the girls on their own without telling me or the girls beforehand. She called my oldest daughter a few days after leaving to tell her to call me. They hadn’t called me before that because they had apparently grown accustomed to their mother disappearing for days at a time.

My children are all grown and married now, having their own children. They all learned after coming to live with me that I wasn’t the monster their mother had brainwashed them to believe I was, and they all agreed to be adopted by the light of my life whom I would have never met if I had not been divorced. Only one of my children has any contact with her biological mother.

Keenly_disinterested

3. Who Didn’t Let The Dog Out?

My mom’s friend was getting divorced. She was staying in the house but had left so the husband could gather his things without her being there as he moved out. She never thought that he had a weird revenge plan up his sleeve…While packing, he gave the dog a laxative and locked her in the master bedroom. Poor girl had explosive Malamute diarrhea everywhere.

In fact, the dog was so upset about her accidents that she tried to dig herself through the door. That dog was such a good girl, it broke my heart. Luckily, the wife kept the dog and the husband was convicted of animal maltreatment charges which helped the wife keep custody of the kids. In the end, the joke was on him. Karma’s a real kicker ain’t it.

Barkcuban

Crazy exesUnsplash

4. The Past Is Present

My brother told me this story about a man he used to work with. My brother’s work friend is from an eastern European country and he came to the US many, many moons ago to start his family. One of his sons met a nice girl and they planned to get married, but life happened and the girl got pregnant before they could plan something big together.

Regardless, the whole family was excited about the new baby. The father-to-be was absolutely ecstatic and they had a small ceremony just before the baby was born. When the delivery time came, out popped this little boy who was about 50 shades darker than either parent, and the new dad absolutely lost his mind. In his heartbroken rage, he accused his new bride of cheating on him, disowned the child, and raged right out of the delivery room, leaving the new mom all alone with her mountain of shame.

This guy returned to his family and continued his hate-filled rampage. He exclaimed to his family that his new wife had cheated on him because the baby looked nothing like him. The family was shocked, as they never would have believed this sweet young thing would do that to their son. It was absolute shame and misery all around. Well, sitting in a dark little corner of the room, little tiny grandma chirped up and had a story to tell.

Apparently, back in her glory days, during some conflict or another, she had a great summer fling with a French soldier. A Black French soldier. She got knocked up and due to the times, she had to keep the baby, hoping her family didn’t throttle her before she could abandon it somewhere. She ended up meeting her husband shortly after getting knocked up, and things just progressed as if it was his child.

And wouldn’t you know, the little thing popped out white as snow. She breathed a sigh of relief because that was going to be the easiest lie for her to keep, ever. So this poor guy had been carrying around this super melanin gene his whole life, knocked up his wife, and it decided to all come out on his sweet little boy. Thankfully, the whole family went with him to the hospital.

The grandma had a picture of her old fella as proof, and the husband and wife were reunited.

HumsWhileHePees

5. Oops Baby

I’ve never cheated on my husband, and after our second kid, he had a vasectomy. Cut to a year later—I discovered I was pregnant (and then subsequently lost the pregnancy). I began to freak out because I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, but I was scared everyone else would think I did. Turns out, my husband was embarrassed to do the whole cup thing at his doctor’s, so he never did the sperm count test.

He still had a count and needed further “treatment.” Scariest darned day of my life.

ElleighJae

6. Life’s Better

While we were still married, my ex got pregnant with the guy she was cheating on me with. Fun fact: He’s also married to someone else. She has this idea that he’s going to leave his wife and they’re going to get married. She got a lawyer and filed for divorce. I got a lawyer too. Only thing is that he works for his wife’s father who is setting him up to take over when daddy retires.

He realized that getting a divorce means his cushy career is over, confesses everything to his wife, and begs for her forgiveness. His wife takes him back and he cuts off my wife. Seeing that her dreams of living with her boyfriend are over, she claims that I’m the father, which is impossible because by that time we hadn’t done it for more than a year before conception.

This does not stop her from telling everyone who will listen that it’s my kid. She had her lawyer drop the divorce proceedings. I tell my lawyer to start them with me as the plaintiff and that I want to dispute paternity. I move out and she starts stalking me. She shows up at my job and tries to get in. I work as a civilian in R&D at an army base.

The MPs do not take any of her complaints and wind up detaining her when she tries to run past the gate. She calls me at work to bail her out and I tell her that whatever she’s done it’s not my problem and hang up. I also was able to get a restraining order, which she violated repeatedly. She asked for everything; both cars, the entire house and contents, savings, my retirement account etc. Plus 7 years of spousal support.

I offered no support and half of the assets. If she wanted the house, she’d have to buy me out and refinance in her name only. But it didn’t end there. When the kid was born, she tried to put my name on the birth certificate anyway. But I had already successfully disputed paternity so that didn’t go over well. She had to go after lover boy, who was definitely less than happy to see her.

In the end, we split the assets equally. I sold the house and she got no spousal support. I don’t know if she was able to get money for the kid from her lover or not. She called me a few times after the divorce, wanting to get together and talk. The calls were in violation of the restraining order, but I never reported it.

About 6 months after the divorce was final, I was offered a new job on the other side of the country. I took it and never told anyone outside of my family where I was going. Almost all of our friends believed her when she claimed the baby was mine and made me out to be the asshole so I didn’t really feel the need to tell them anything.

Life is much better now.

Bearlee55

7. Messed Up

This was from when I was a kid and my parents were going through a divorce. My dad was a total sociopath. Manipulative, physically and emotionally abusive, drug dealing, the whole 9 yards. Even though my mom was finally able to get out, he still had visitation rights. His family kept on bugging my sister and me who were still under 10 years old, to try to convince my Mom to talk to him.

She finally did try to talk to him when she came to pick us up at the station from where it was agreed to meet when he had his time with us. They immediately got into an argument, he started throwing one of his temper tantrums, grabbed my mom and tried to beat her. Little did he know, he did this all in front of an officer from the LAPD who stepped in immediately.

He let go of my mom with a look of pure terror on his face. I think that was the day I realized he was sociopathic and didn’t want anything else to do with him and his crazy bible-thumping family.

Ryukin631

8. Chosen Family

My fiancé’s father is almost certainly not his biological dad. His mom was just a genuinely terrible human being who didn’t even try to hide the fact she was cheating. But his dad loved him from the second he was born, and when his mom decided four years later she just didn’t want him anymore, she just gave him to his “dad” and rode off. His dad ended up getting remarried and they tried for kids before finding out his sperm count was too low to ever father children (they ended up adopting many years later). He sat my fiancé down when he was 13 and told him the truth. The dad said that if he wanted to do a test they would, but it was up to him.

My fiancé cried and told him he just wanted him to be his dad, and that was the end of that.

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9. A Different Tuna

We had been together for quite a while—about 6-8 months—and had been living together for at least 2 months when I decided to make tuna salad. I asked him how he liked it. He told me. I came back with two bowls, half the can made his way, and half the can made the way I liked it. He completely freaked out about the two different versions.

He said, “If we can’t agree on how to eat tuna, how will this ever work?!” I said that we don’t have to agree—we can both have it exactly the way we want and be happy. He vehemently disagreed. Then, I started thinking of all of his other controlling behavior and the inability to compromise. It wasn’t that day that we broke up, but it was definitely the day our relationship broke. The cheating didn’t help either.

Tousca

Noped out of relationshipPexels

10. Scam Alert

We went to the mall and stopped by this little kiosk selling cookies. I decided that I would get one cookie. The lady working there said that if I bought two then I would get an extra one free. So, I decided to buy two and get the third one free. My date WENT OFF on this lady, saying that she was trying to scam me, etc. etc. He was legit yelling so loud that it was echoing through the mall.

It was so embarrassing I wanted to die. If you’re rude to people in customer service, you’re not for me.

lotus_flower2419

11. Watching You

I genuinely feared for my safety. I went over, and we got in an argument so I slept on the floor, essentially. I went to the bathroom to text one of my buddies to come pick me up since I thought she had fallen asleep. I suddenly get a text from her saying, “Where are you?” And, of course, my phone made a sound. I froze up and opened the bathroom door.

She was already standing there waiting for me in the darkness. She didn’t say a word at all, just stared at me until I walked by. I went back to my spot on the floor and got under the blanket and pretended to be falling asleep until she did. After about 30 minutes, I decided to peek out from under the covers and…she was literally towering over me in total darkness with her eyes wide open the entire time. I got out of there so fast.

GAU8

12. Dancing The Night Away

I met a girl on Tinder, and we went for a coffee date. We shared some of the same music tastes, and she lets me know that one such performer is playing at a local club on Friday. I suggest we go together and do dinner before. When Friday comes, we do a late sushi dinner and head to this club around 10 for the aforementioned show.

The headliner, who we wanted to see, is supposed to go on around midnight. We get to the club, finally get to the bar and order drinks then head to the dance floor. She pounds the drink and says that she is getting another drink. She comes back a few minutes later with a new drink, gives me a kiss on the cheek, and wanders off to the dance floor.

I am not someone who is overly possessive and figure my wanting to be in the back to get a full visual and auditory experience is not her jam. I wasn’t worried. Then, 20 minutes later, I looked across the dance floor—and my stomach dropped. I see her grinding on some dude. Now, mentally, I am already back at my car, but I want to see what happens when she makes eye contact with me. They start making out, and the guy notices me eyeballing them.

She then wanders off to get another drink, and the said guy comes up to me asking if I have a problem. I explain the situation, and he says something to the extent of, “Sucks, bro, she’s with me now. Push off.” I took his advice and did just that. So, I called up a friend and went to his house, and we played Catan till about 2.

Then my phone rings. It’s 2:30am, and she is calling me asking where I went, since my car was clearly missing from the parking lot. I told her that I went home and she was on her own to find a ride. I said something like, “I bet that guy you were making out with could give you a ride,” to which she responded with “which one.” We kissed once and made out zero times. I laughed, hung up, and rolled for more bricks.

OldRuskiNoir

13. Too Close For Comfort

I know a girl who was pregnant with her boyfriend’s best friend’s baby. He found out there was a possibility about a week before she gave birth. I went up to see her once the baby was born and he looked just like the friend, there was no question. I broke the news to her boyfriend and he was absolutely devastated. His parents were also heartbroken and super angry.

They had bought the girl everything she needed, including a $500 car seat and stroller set. She refused to give anything back. She started up a relationship with the friend immediately after having their child, and they’re still together a decade later. There is a cruel twist, however. See, the boyfriend and best friend were next-door neighbors.

She moved into the friend’s house after coming home from the hospital, so her ex-boyfriend and his family had to see them basically every day, raising a child that they had believed to be his for the entire pregnancy. I can’t even imagine.

maybebat

14. It’s What’s Inside That Counts

I had a vasectomy. While chatting with the doctor, he told me about another patient he had. This guy had three kids and came in for the snip-snip because he and his wife decided they were done having children. The doctor opened up his sack…and found nothing to snip. This guy was born without the ability to have any children.

The poor doctor had to explain to him what happened. Imagine finding that out that way.

timing

15. Double Trouble

I worked as a lab tech before I became a nurse. We had a set of twins in the NICU that arrived super early and the mom was still in the OR getting sewed up from the cesarean. I was drawing Baby B’s blood when the mom was wheeled over to Baby A’s isolette. She was crying and said, “Oh, thank the heavens you’re not Black! I have been so worried the last seven months.”

Newborn babies, especially when they’re born early, are very pink; almost red, even. So if a baby was part-Black, their skin isn’t necessarily dark yet. But looking at the babies, I knew the truth. It was obvious they were going to be Black. The shape of the face, the texture of the hair…plus, Baby B had an intense Mongolian spot, which you generally see in African American babies.

A few weeks later, my NICU coworker told me that the babies were now on a “no-info status,” which indicated a security alert. We couldn’t give anyone information about them, refer to them by name, etc. She said there was a huge fight because the mom’s husband (who was a white guy) obviously noticed that the babies were half-Black and he accused the mom of cheating on him.

The real dad, a Black guy, came in and didn’t realize the mom was even married. Those poor babies.

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16. Too Young To Love

I worked in labor and delivery. One day, we had a very young mother come in, accompanied by her parents. She was just 12 years old and the parents looked stuffy. They kept telling her she should’ve had an abortion and that she was too young to be a mother, etc. Her mother was silent for most of the time but leaked tears for her constantly. While she labored, I received a call from a very young boy who said he was her boyfriend.

Her father wouldn’t let him come to the hospital. I explained that I couldn’t give out information, but he could talk to her afterward. I went in, told her he had called, and she showed me a picture of him. He was white with straight red hair and a pimply face—the runt of the litter. About an hour later, her Phys. Ed. teacher stopped by to check on her, which I thought was odd. We didn’t get many teachers checking on students, as you can imagine.

He was the total opposite of the boyfriend: tall and very muscular with a beautiful smile and rich, chocolate brown skin. The girl’s father then accompanied her to the delivery room. Odd again, but OK. The more she pushed, the louder she cried. In between, she kept saying, “Sorry daddy.” Finally, out slid a very beautiful, chocolate brown baby boy.

I thought her father was going to pass the heck out on my delivery room floor. I did my usual “It’s a boy!” and said nothing else. I handed him off to a nursery nurse and got dad a chair. The girl said, “I’m sorry daddy,” over and over again still. Her mom, now frowned up, came to see the baby. She took one look, then started asking God for forgiveness.

I sent her dad home a short bit later, admonishing him to react at home. I set up a time for our counselor to meet with him before I left. After talking to the girl, she admitted her gym teacher had been giving her “special treatment.” I explained intimacy to her and she said she’d only kissed the boyfriend, but had stayed after school to be with her gym teacher.

I’m state-mandated to report child mistreatment, so I did. Two weeks later, with her world shattered—her baby was given up for adoption. I wish her the best. This was in 1989.

WitchyPuddin

17. Crisis Averted

My wife and I are both brown-skinned, dark-haired half-Mexicans, and our moms are both 100% white blondes with blue and green eyes. All this to say, we sort of knew it was going to be a genetic gamble with our baby, but the nurse who was assisting with the delivery had no idea. At one point, she got sort of nervous and called for help. Another nurse, likely more senior in position, came in.

She nodded and came over to talk to me. I thought there was something wrong with the baby as she came over and stumbled through some questions. Then, finally, she asked if either of us happened to be blonde growing up. I said I was and that both the baby’s grandparents are as blonde as they come. This wave of relief went over her and she brought me over to see this blonde as heck crowning baby head.

It’s funny because he looked just like me but with whiter skin. We often get awkward questions about his heritage and my wife always hits them with, “Yeah, we’re not sure if he’s mine.” It’s always funny to see people nod for a moment and then go “Wait, what?”

PM__YOUR__GOOD_NEWS

18. Done And Dusted

I had a college buddy whose fiancée was pregnant. They were the “perfect couple.” They both had great careers starting out, and everything was butterflies and rainbows, etc. Fast forward to the delivery room—they were in there, and out came a very Black baby. He was quite the pale redhead, and she was a blonde, blue-eyed Texas girl. He made sure everyone was OK, waited for her parents to arrive, then left without saying a word.

He moved all his stuff out of the house while she was in the hospital and cut off all communications with her. Just walked out of their lives in the most stone-cold act I’d ever seen. They were together for nine years, and he just left cold turkey. She tried to contact him at his job a few times, but he quickly moved up the ladder and eventually got a job in another city.

He told me once that he took solace in the fact that her family had already dropped about $10k in a wedding that never happened.

tacoscholar

19. Slow News Day

I used to work with a guy whose wife was pregnant. Near the delivery time, everyone at our place of business had a big party with gifts, money, etc. When the big day arrived, her water broke, and they got in the car to go to the hospital. She broke the news to him in a horrific way. She told him the baby was not his and that the kid would be of another race. She also requested that he just drop her off at the hospital and then leave.

He took a few days off work, found a new apartment, moved out, filed for divorce, etc. He called into work and told someone what happened, so the news spread pretty fast. All of the congratulations cards were cleaned up and thrown away. Everyone was very sensitive to his pain. Except, somehow—I don’t know how—I did not get the news.

So on his first day back, I walked into the office he shared with six other guys and said, “Hey hey, Daddio, how’s fatherhood so far? Getting any sleep? Got some pictures? Let’s see the little tyke!” He slowly lifted his head to look at me with a painful gaze. The room was completely silent. One of his workmates stood up, grabbed my arm, and walked me out of the room, shushing me.

“What happened, “ I asked, “Did it pass? What’s the problem?” When he told me everything, I about expired myself. I still feel bad for the dude and it’s been 30 years.

BlueGillMan

20. Calm And Uncollected 

I used to work in the newborn nursery at a hospital. We get the babies right from delivery, clean them up, footprint them, check their vitals, etc. Dads usually came in with the newborns. So one day, this dad came in with this baby. The dad was white, the mom was white, and the baby was very obviously not white. The dad was very quiet standing next to the baby, watching us clean it up.

He said quietly, “I don’t think this is my baby.” You could tell he was absolutely devastated. We advised him not to sign the birth certificate until he was sure. Not sure what happened after we sent the baby back out to the mom, but I felt awful for the guy.

rootberryfloat

21. Dinosaurs? What Dinosaurs?

I matched with this girl on Tinder and we clicked really well. We had great text conversations for several months, but she was busy and I wasn’t trying to be pushy to meet her. Just the conversation was nice. In one such conversation, queue me making a joke and it leading into a conversation about how she thinks the world is only 6,000 years old.

Oh, and also, apparently dinosaurs never existed. She claimed to have reviewed all the evidence for both and had arrived at the conclusion that they’re both false. Instead, she opined that the Bible was a hundred percent accurate. I noped out of that one no thank you. Didn’t bother sticking around to see what other crazy ideas she had.

PiesInMyEyes

22. Switched At Birth

This happened with my husband’s parents. This was 40+ years ago when they took the baby away to be all cleaned up. My husband’s dad looked at the baby and said, “That is not my son!” The nurse says: “Oh, yes it is. Sometimes they just look different after they’re cleaned up.” But he still asserted, “No! That is definitely not my son!”

Then, down the hall, they heard another parent say to his partner, “WHAT THE HECK, THIS BABY IS WHITE! YOU CHEATED ON ME?!” The nurse got wide-eyed and said, “Let me go check on that” and scooped up the baby. Turns out, they accidentally switched the babies. It’s a great story, but wow…Can you imagine if they just hadn’t noticed?!

Found-potential

23. Tie Her Down

My ex got wasted and drove her car into the middle of the desert. She sent her friend a picture of the GPS and said I didn’t love her so I wouldn’t come and look for her. She wouldn’t answer my calls but kept calling her friend saying I didn’t care. I looked for two hours before going back home because I needed to work in the morning.

She came home and started banging things around and came into our room and threw her phone at me saying I didn’t love her. She punched me in the face multiple times and got taken in by the authorities. After I filed for divorce she completely lost it. CPS wouldn’t let her kids stay at the house because of the DV charge against her so they stayed at her parents.

She purposely stayed at the house so that I couldn’t see my kids. I refused to be alone with her for the fear that she would hurt herself and blame me so I always went to the house with someone if I needed anything. She got tired of this and decided to just remove everything from the house while I was at work. Everything that wasn’t in my kids’ bedrooms she literally carted out of the house.

Curtains, ceiling fans, and all of the furniture minus the dining table that I don’t think she had room for. I thought—well this sucks—but at least she’s gone, so I can change the locks. She broke in and took the locks the next day while I was at work and left nothing but the holes in the doors to swing open in the wind. But her path of destruction only intensified.

She took the window locks and cut the power cord to the garage door opener. She also took the blender that I borrowed from my mom and popped the air mattress that I borrowed to sleep on. Then she flipped off the main breaker to the house. Then swore in court to the judge that someone else must have done it. She’s the wildest woman I’ve ever met.

EarlyOpportunity4671

Crazy exesUnsplash

24. Unwanted Sugarbaby

My ex went through my wallet when I was asleep one night, and copied my credit card numbers. At about the same time he took a check from my checking book and made a bunch of similar checks using an online program. Then he went on a three-day shopping spree while he was in another city, before I realized what was happening and tried to stop the money hemorrhage.

He caused huge financial damage, bounced checks, violation of credit limits. It required weeks of recovery, claims, and negotiations with banks and credit card companies to recover the stolen funds and get new accounts set. Total carnage.

Reueltidhar

25. They Love Me, They Love Me Not

I was dating a guy for not even 6 months when a family member in another province in Canada unexpectedly passed. My mom and aunties were going to go alone to deal with everything, but I knew there would be a lot of heavy lifting with his belongings, and I didn’t want them to do everything alone. It might have been too much.

I used to do weight training and can do a lot of heavy lifting, so me being there would help with that. So, I went and did most of the moving of my late uncle’s belongings. I got everything organized and sorted, packed his truck, and drove it back to our home city, which was an 8-hour drive. On top of that, I dealt with all the paperwork, since I have a long history of admin experience.

I’m also a part-time Ordained Minister and was asked to do the eulogy for the funeral/cremation. No problem, that’s my job and it’s an honor to serve my family. During this time, the dude I’m with won’t stop blowing up my phone. He tries to tell me I’m cheating on him. He even messages my brother on Facebook saying that there’s an emergency and he needs to talk to me right away.

The emergency was that he’s afraid my uncle’s passing made me unlove him. I cut ties as soon as I got back in the city, but he still stalked me.

unrealcrocodiletears

26. Kidnapper

My ex kidnapped the kids during their weekend visit and moved to a small town in the next state over. It took me two years to get them back. She eventually burned all her bridges in the town she moved to and went home to her parents’ house. Since her parents were not pleased with her choices and were on my side during the whole deal they called me to let me know where she was. I went and got them.

This was over 20 years ago and they have both grown up just fine. I’ve since remarried and my second wife has been a wonderful mother to them. It took a lot of work to fix all the damage but it’s mostly ok. But one lasting scar remains. My son has a distrust of authoritative women and my daughter’s afraid to have children because she’s worried she’ll turn out just like her mom.

Atypical_lemur

27. Looking For the Pre-Ball Cinderella

I was seeing this guy for a couple of weeks, and hadn’t met his 2 young kids yet because that was his choice. He tells me that he’s fighting for his kids. According to him, the mom took them in the breakup, but doesn’t really want them. She is living at her parents’ and doesn’t have to do anything if she has the kids. So, one night I’m over and he tells me the following:

If we were to get serious, I’d move into his apartment. I’d take care of his kids and clean his apartment while he’s at work and he’d expect dinner to be ready when he gets home from work. He told me to think about it for a few days. He said if I couldn’t do this, then we could have a purely physical relationship until he met someone else.

Then he would straight up cut me off. Why was he doing this? Because his kids NEED A MOM and they need stability. I hadn’t even met his kids! I ended up telling him no and I’m glad I did.

cryingstlfan

28. Looking For You

Back in my “hound dog” days I met a girl through an acquaintance. We seemed to hit it off. One day I had to work late, it being a last-minute notice kind of thing. When I did get home, later than normal naturally, I found out she had come by my apartment and scratched “where are you” with a knife right into my front door!

This was before cell phones, so she couldn’t just call, but I grabbed an overnight bag and spent a few days at a buddy’s house. Luckily, I never saw her again.

Worried-Cow5238

29. Warnings Galore

There were so many things that should have been red flags but I was too naive to recognize them. They left notes on my car windshield when I was at work/a friend’s house/the store. It seemed sweet, but I realized later that was my SO keeping tabs on me, even when I didn’t say where I was. They let me know how much a hitman cost and that it was “cheaper than you’d expect.”

They would tell me something, and then later say that was a lie or a test, as though I should have figured that out instead of expecting the truth. They expected me to answer every call, and would get angry if I wanted to end the call first. They also complained about my friends and family all the time. All of them. Apparently, everyone I knew was manipulative and/or rude. I didn’t figure out this was an attempt to isolate me until after we broke up.

BitwiseB

30. Balancing It Out

It was a couple of little things combined which gave me complete clarity. His birthday was a month before mine. I had planned the entire day from hotel, to visiting a zoo (which was on discount since I had purchased a Groupon coupon), to cake and dinner. A couple of days after that, we were making plans for my birthday.

And, as we were doing this, he found out that the zoo visit was on discount and I hadn’t paid the full price. That’s when things went off the rails. He actually took out his phone and started calculating how much I EXACTLY spent on his birthday and told me that since you spent x amount of money on me, I will also be spending the exact same amount and to not expect him to pay anything more.

I thought the whole thing was extremely shallow. It’s not about how much he wanted to spend, but he did the calculation of how much I spent on him right in front of me…which according to me was quite…C.H.E.A.P.

Mayaaa_1992

31. Sweet As Lemons

I wouldn’t really call it a relationship as it was only 3 dates, but I had met this girl at a wedding. She was a friend of a friend and we shared numbers that night. We texted for a while and then had a date. First date was probably a big red flag, but I shrugged it off. We had connected on Facebook and she noticed that she went to college with a girl I went to high school with.

No big deal, until I found out she had been messaging that girl and asking her all these questions about me in high school—who did I date, what car I drove, etc. Anyway, the third date rolls around. I wasn’t really sure how long we would be together so typically I wouldn’t have taken her to a really nice restaurant so early in a relationship, but I was in the mood for steak so I took her to a pretty high-end steakhouse.

I have never been more embarrassed by someone’s behavior in public in my life, and I have a 6- and 3-year-old at home now. She sent 3 martinis back because they weren’t made correctly while being extremely insulting and rude about it. She ordered a medium steak and then got annoyed because she insisted that she had ordered it medium-rare.

Both the waiter and I told her she had ordered medium. She was also making comments about what other women in the restaurant were wearing, and not very subtly. Then, despite me trying to get out of there without buying her dessert, she got a dessert menu and expected them to make her something that they didn’t have on the menu.

They had cheesecake and she wanted chocolate cheesecake. So, another outburst at the staff. On the way out the door she made a point to stop and complain to someone loud enough that the other customers could hear. When we got into my car, I was so embarrassed I pretended I had left my credit card on the table so I could go back in.

I gave the waiter an extra twenty dollars and also apologized to him, telling him that I was dumping her as soon as I got to her place. He laughed and told me he wished he could be there to see it. I didn’t really give her a chance to say much. She called me a loser and stormed off. I haven’t seen or heard from her since.

StyrofoamCueball

32. Solemates

His mom wanted to put his socks on for him. And he let her! This fully capable, adult male actually sat there grinning at me quite happily while his 50 something-year-old mother knelt before him as if he was a demigod. She then proceeded to lovingly roll his socks onto each of his feet! Noped outta there? I’m still running!

ApartLocksmith1

33. Free And Clear

A friend of mine got pregnant in high school. She claimed it was our local doctor’s son’s kid, so he agreed to deliver his grandchild for free. Well, when the child was delivered, it was obviously half African-American, and the doctor’s son and the girl were both white. I think he still delivered it for free, as he was relieved his 14-year-old son wasn’t a dad.

Dramaqueen_069

34. Protect The Kids

My ex kidnapped my three boys from my house when I went on my first post-divorce date. Our loved and trusted babysitter was with them. I had left dinner ready and the kids bathed and ready in their jammies. I left for the movie theater when I got a text from my babysitter that she was sorry for not doing the dishes after dinner.

So I texted back, “That’s ok, I can do dishes later, but you’ve got a couple of hours as well, the movie hasn’t started yet.” She was at home as my ex-husband had shown up and lied saying that he was supposed to have the boys that night and that I had said it was okay. I was livid. I knew he was a bit crazy, but I had no idea he was capable of this.

I stepped out of the theater, called him and he said, “If you are going to be dating strangers and endangering the lives of my kids, I will take them.” So I called the authorities and they did a report. We went to court and he was found in contempt for violating our parenting plan.

Ronsinblush

35. Like A Drama Series

So after we got divorced, my ex immediately started dating a bald dude who was part of a larger white supremacy group. I will give him credit where it’s due, he asked for my permission to date her since we were still married but separated which caught me off guard. He got my full blessing ending with us discussing her red flags so we shared a laugh over that with a parting, “She’s your problem now.”

Well, fast forward about four years later and she calls me crying her eyes out. Now, I had changed phone numbers twice since then, so I had no idea how she was able to call me. She tried to explain to me, between breaths from crying, how she screwed up and needed me back, which was a first for me to hear. At that time I was very happy living with my then-girlfriend who treated me like a king and I had a life that I only thought was a fantasy back when I was married.

Her voice brought back a whole lot of memories and all I could say was, “I’m sorry, I can’t”. Fast forward two more years and my then-girlfriend and I had gone our own ways, as amicably as possible. The guy who was with my ex-wife contacted me on Facebook, which I use to keep up with old friends and family, asking me if I had a minute and walked me through his current torment.

He ended up having two kids with her and she waited until they were both old enough to walk, then literally kidnapped them and fled to a different state. I only knew the latter part when she reached out to me a while after she fled but she was smart enough to leave out exactly where she was. She wanted help with what I assume was money and general security given that she made terrible choices and had a coordinated gang actively hunting her down.

Since I was no longer a complete moron, I politely declined and wished her luck. I have no idea what came of all that since her Facebook account is gone. It was fun for me knowing just how big of a bullet I dodged and it’s like a drama show where the last season that was aired ended abruptly, dangling me in suspense. It was one of those situations that I really want to know what happened but I don’t want to get even remotely involved.

I don’t even know who to root for because I don’t know what really went down or what would happen if he caught up to her. The best situation in this is that the kids are okay and that they are taken care of. But being stuck between two crazies tells me that’s more hopeful than realistic. This experience taught me that it’s perfectly okay to look at a situation and truthfully say, “You know what, this is neither my fault nor my problem.” and walk away.

KellyBelly916

36. All That For Flattery

The divorce was fairly amicable, but my ex met a woman on the internet and moved her into his apartment a month later. She hated seeing me because I had hurt him but was also still in love with him apparently. She decided that getting my son removed from my custody would solve all her problems. So she called my work and made ridiculously false allegations to my administrator about my conduct with students but sounded wasted and wouldn’t leave a name or contact information.

The admin pulled her number from the caller ID and my ex confirmed that it was that heifer’s Oregon phone number. I had to get a temporary protective order for her, so my ex had her move out. And then she did something unforgivable: She slashed my tires on Mother’s Day. And he kept dating her for another year even though he knew about everything! My therapist at the time told me that my ex probably found her behavior flattering.

Geekchcidemdownsouth

37. Unhappy Birthday

Labor and delivery nurse here. Black babies are usually a lot lighter at birth. Not everyone is aware of this, so I’ve had a few dramatic deliveries where the father looks at the baby and accuses the mom of cheating because the baby isn’t as dark. There’s always a lot of drama, but if the father is accusing the mother of cheating right after the delivery of their child, then their relationship dynamic might not be the best, to begin with.

tina_bean02

38. Order Up

I work in anesthesia. One of my colleagues had someone deliver a baby with “Steve’s Lunchbox” tattooed above the, er, “birth canal.” Not really thinking, the OB-GYN said to the father after the delivery: “Congratulations, Steve.” The guy replied that his name was indeed not Steve. I think the doctor felt like a bit of a fool after that one.

passing_gas

39. That’s That, Brittany

I worked in the army hospital in Fort Lewis. A woman came in for belly pain and we found out that she was 10 weeks pregnant. The husband at her bedside started laughing, then he grabbed his coat and left the room. When he explained the situation to us, everything made sense—he said he had been in Afghanistan until three weeks prior. He looked back and her and just said, “Well, that’s that, Brittany.”

I always liked how classily he left her while she just silently stared off into space.

Mrjrfrankburns

40. The Sound Of Music

I was dating a girl in college that I was really into. We both loved going to watch concerts for smaller emo-type bands. Anyway, I took her to Dallas with my sister—who happened to be dating the lead singer of one of the bands at the show—and a couple of other friends. The show was at a venue called Trees and it had a really cool almost cellar like feel.

Well after the show was over, we were all hanging out with a lot of the band members in the cellar-like bar area. We were all laughing and having a good conversation when my girlfriend says, out of the blue, “This seems like a really good place to screech.” So, confused as we are, one of the guys from the band says, “Screech?” Oh god, I wish he hadn’t asked.

And, then my girlfriend immediately lets out this high-pitched, godawful, screech that had everyone in the venue turn around to see what was causing this terrible sound. My sister looked at my girlfriend and then back at me as if to say, “Why in the world would she do that?” The guys from the band just stared at her for what seemed like forever before simply saying, “OooooooK.”

And that was the first and only time that I knew the exact moment that I was done with a relationship…The second we got back to town, I got out of the car and said, “Well, it’s been fun, but this relationship just isn’t going to work for me.” And that, as they say, was that. That was the last time I ever heard from her.

wsawyer12

41. The Proof Is In The Pudding

When I was born, the Indian doctor told my very, very white parents: “Oh, she looks like an ethnic baby!” It became a funny story years later, but I imagine that it wasn’t so funny when my brunette mother had to explain to my blonde dad that yes, the baby with a full head of long, jet-black hair was actually his child. I always wondered if my dad had some doubts about me during the first few months of my life before my hair turned blonde.

PretentiousPiehole

42. Caught Red-Handed

I’m a nurse in a Level 4 neonatal ICU. We service the sickest of the sick from our state and the surrounding states, so we see it all. One time, we had a baby that was sick as snot. Lo and behold, we discovered its blood, spinal fluid, etc. was completely septic with herpes. In most babies, we avoid this by treating herpes while the mom is pregnant.

In this case, however, the mom didn’t even know she was a carrier. So where did it come from? This is the awkward and sickening moment when everyone in the room learned the truth. Turns out, the father had an affair and contracted the virus from his lover. So yeah, while the woman’s baby was on the verge of passing, she also found out her husband had been cheating on her. His cheatin’ heart is the reason their baby was sick.

ravenousbutterfly

43. Getting My Priorities Straight

I had a very long and toxic relationship with an ex. I had wanted to leave for years, but he would threaten to end himself and I would end up staying. I, finally, got the courage to walk away when I was diagnosed with several benign liver tumors and was told by the doctor that it was very important with this type of tumor to immediately and permanently stop taking hormonal birth control.

I researched it on my own and confirmed the single most important thing I could do to avoid further complications was to stop taking hormonal birth control for good. I told my then-husband about the appointment and he said, oh so calmly, “Well that’s going to be a problem.” I was like, “What do you mean? I’ll go to the gynecologist as soon as I can get an appointment and we can just use condoms until then.”

Nope. According to him, condoms were unacceptable because we were married. And not being intimate until I got to go to the gynecologist was also unacceptable. And that’s not even the part that really made my blood run cold. That was when he suggested that I should continue to take birth control as normal and just not tell the doctor. “He’ll never know,” he said.

Then he went on to suggest that maybe I could go on and off birth control so I’d be off of it before any follow-up appointments with this doctor, to ensure that he’d never know. I was totally stunned and I just looked at him and said, “You understand this could kill me? This isn’t about placating a doctor; this is about my life.”

He just shrugged and said he wasn’t using condoms and I needed to “figure it out.” I did figure it out. I left him more than a decade ago and have never been happier.

SharMarali

Noped out of relationshipPexels

44. Up And Outta Here

My best friend was dating a girl and he knocked her up. They got engaged, then planned to get married right after the baby was born. There were about 10 of us in the waiting room waiting for her to crank out the baby. It was essentially her parents, some of her friends, and some of ours. After we were sitting there for about two hours, he walked out with a smirk on his face.

He said, “Let’s go.” We all thought something horrible had happened. Her friends asked him how the baby was, and he said, “Fine, but Black.” He motioned for us to go, so we followed him. In the parking garage, he told us to follow him to his apartment, then he sent me a text asking if I could put him up for a while. We literally moved him out of his apartment and into my spare bedroom in like an hour, tops.

Her parents didn’t know who to be mad at. The confusion on their faces when he told them the baby was Black was priceless.

Goyteamsix

45. Look At What I Have!

Lady stayed the night for the first time then started taking pictures of my house the next morning and posting them on social media. She put my bedroom, living room, and master bath on and I was like…what are you doing. She said, “I want everyone to see your place.” I said, “Uhh, let me take you home.” I also told her I didn’t like that she did what she had done.

What she took away from this became obvious pretty soon. She complained on social media how I was so petty for not liking her posting my house. Then she called me up to go out again! I was just astonished that she thought I would be like “post my house, speak ill of me, and come on back.” That was one night…NOPE.

Cannotakema

Noped out of relationshipUnsplash

46. Lost In Translation

I am a nurse working in labor and delivery. Most of the time, if the mom thinks the baby may not be her boyfriend’s or husband’s, they will just have their friend, sister, mom, or whoever is with them there for the delivery and have the dad come to the hospital room after they’ve seen the baby. There are no guarantees because babies can change a lot over a couple of weeks.

Many African American babies have very light skin when they are born and it eventually gets darker. I have had a patient’s husband get upset about the baby being too light (they were both Black) until his mom smacked him and told him that’s what he looked like when he was born. Recently, I had something interesting happen that was along the same lines.

This girl came to the hospital in labor with her boyfriend, sister, and friend. The boyfriend didn’t seem too engaged during the process, but that was not uncommon. The baby was born and is fine, and the sister sent the dad to get some stuff. Keep in mind: all of the people involved were Hispanic and only spoke Spanish. My Spanish just so happened to be pretty decent.

As soon as the dad left, the sister was like, “I have a question for you” and then proceeded to say something I couldn’t understand at all. I asked her to clarify, but I was just not getting it, so I offered to go get the translator. She was like, “No! I don’t want it to be official.” She then whipped out her phone and through Google translate asked me, “How can we get a paternity test in the hospital?”

I then had to explain that we really didn’t do that, but she could get one at CVS. They told me that the baby didn’t look like the couple’s other child and that it might be someone else’s, but they want to check before telling him. I just apologized and told them how they could get a DNA test at CVS. This wasn’t the first time I’d been asked about paternity testing; I just had no idea how to say it in Spanish.

Some hospitals used to offer paternity testing, but many no longer do because it is not usually seen as medically necessary. Also, they usually aren’t covered by Medicaid or insurance, so the hospital ends up eating the cost. You don’t know anyone else’s life circumstances, so it is best to reserve judgment about the choices they have made because not every situation is cut and dry.

Plenty of biological fathers leave and do not support their children, and women are not all lying villains. Life is very gray, just treat people with respect and compassion.

companionquandary

47. Irish Twins

My professor was a labor and delivery nurse, and she once saw a man running between two delivery rooms. See, both the women he had impregnated went into labor and gave birth on the same day. Supposedly, the one he was married to was angry because the woman he cheated on her with was impregnated after the wife, but had her kid 10 minutes before her.

Labor and delivery is apparently the most drama-filled section of hospitals. My significant other is planning to be a nurse and he’s going to work in labor and delivery as well as neonatal this year. I’m excited to hear all the dramatic stories.

ThrowDiscoAway

48. Almost Got Away With It

My grandmother was a nurse back in her day. Once, she was assisting with delivering a baby and the ostensible father commented that the child looked “good for a premature baby.” Without thinking, my blunt, upfront grandmother told the truth sharply: “That baby is not premature.” So I guess I know where I get my social obliviousness from now.

tornado28

49. Hungry For More

I start dating a girl who does this to me not only on the first date but several afterward. Initially, I assume she overestimates our appetites. On our first date, when we meet at the restaurant-bar, she suggests some appetizers which I was all for because this place makes great ones, but they are big. She picks about 4 appetizers.

I like them so I say, “Sure.” Then the bartender asks if we want a main course too. She immediately orders a steak dinner. I am hesitant but still order fish and chips so as not to make her feel gluttonous. So, the big appetizers come out; we are sharing them and talking. After about twenty minutes, I’m full already and we haven’t even put a dent in them.

The server brings the main courses out as she’s nibbling at a blooming onion. She says she’s not hungry anymore. I say, “I’m stuffed.” She calls the bartender and asks for takeout boxes. They oblige us. We now have 5 styrofoam boxes stacked beside us in two bags and have another couple of drinks.

We’d been there 1-hour max when she says her mom is expecting her to pick up her five-year-old at 10pm. We had previously discussed the babysitting situation. The bartender asks if we are done and brings back the tab and slaps it down between us. I had gone into this fully expecting to cover whatever the cost of the meal and drinks.

However, she just stares into space as the bartender walks away. I see her going in her handbag and pulling out her phone and hear her saying, “Yes, ok I’ll be there shortly. How was he?” To avoid any awkwardness, I reach for the tab. It is around $150 before tip; she’s still on the phone glancing at me but not offering anything.

I start filling out the tab and make it for $190, since we had about 4 drinks each as well. He takes the tab and my debit card and returns smiling, thanking us. Having ended her call, she says she’s gotta run. She grabs both the to-go bags and asks if I want anything from in there. I wouldn’t have minded having my untouched fish and chips but had no idea which box within the bags was which.

So, I told her no. She says, “Thank you. Mikey and I will enjoy these tomorrow.” She also thanks me for the date and says she’ll call me the next day or that I could call her if I want so we could “do this again or catch a movie.” Believe it or not, I actually go on another date with her at a Tiki bar on the beach a week later. She does almost the same thing again. I just shrug my shoulders. I should have noped out right there—but the worst was yet to come.

Then, she says, “Why don’t we have the next date at my apartment in a few days?” I, as someone who likes to go out, agreed. On the evening of the Netflix and Chill at her place, she texted her address. Right as I’m about to leave my place, she calls me and asks if I’d mind stopping by a specific store and grabbing her a specific bottle of red wine for us and also grab a pack of microwave popcorn for ‘Mikey.’

Like a chump I say, I bring her wine, popcorn, and a 6 pack for myself. At her place, I go to put the beer in the fridge and grab one and see the cleanest, emptiest fridge I’ve ever seen. Except for some juice boxes, there is nothing at all in there. We start watching some movie she picked for her son since it wasn’t his bedtime yet.

She eats most of the popcorn and then suggests ordering Chinese food from one of the more upscale places. I agree, assuming since she had invited me, that she probably was going to get the food she suggested. Eh nope. I end up paying. When the food arrives, she rushes to the door. There was so much food we could have fed five adults.

She makes him a little plate with like an egg roll, etc. He’s still watching his movie and we attempt to eat whatever we could. Again, we hardly put a dent in it and into the fridge it goes “for tomorrow.” It’s about 9pm now and she says goes to put her son to bed in his room. She, later, joins me on the balcony where we take a few puffs and I’m enjoying the buzz.

Then, she hides the bag up in a hanging plant and tells me that her dad pays half the rent and she can’t get caught with ashtrays or empty beverage bottles as he has a key and is known to show up at any time. I thought this was odd coming from a 28-year-old independent woman but whatever. 30 minutes later her son is back outside.

She goes to put him to sleep and asks me to wait. I wait a half hour. Then, I open the sliding glass door quietly to get the last of my drinks from the fridge and pass the kid’s room. The door is half open, and I hear nothing so I lean in and see that she is passed out on her son’s bed. Her son is sleeping too. Bored and tired, I lay down clothed on the couch, shoes off, and pull this tiny kids’ sheet over me. I didn’t want to risk driving after the 6 pack.

The next morning, she wakes me up and apologizes for passing out, surprised that I hadn’t gone home. I told her I didn’t want to drive after drinking and assumed she meant it when she asked me to wait for her. She actually has coffee and makes it. We have it out on the balcony again while her son is watching cartoons.

She goes to get another cup and exclaims as she bends down to where she’d been standing the night before. She picks up a pea-sized piece of what she had offered me last night off the carpet, comes back out and, holding the crumb, asks, “How did this get there on the carpet?” I’m confused about why she’s asking me and say it may have fallen out when she packed the bowl the previous night.

She hems and haws, acting as though she thinks that I helped myself. I am insulted and tell her I’m no thief. I am about to go and she concedes that she may be wrong and that she sometimes jumps to conclusions. I tell her that she definitely jumped to an insulting conclusion and that I am not impressed with the accusation.

The UNBELIEVABLE next part. I stand up, grab my keys to go when she comes out with, “I thought maybe you and I and Mikey would spend the day at the park today since it’s Saturday!” No apology, no thanks for the excessive meals, drinks, and movies. She actually goes from accusing me of theft to saying she thought I’d want to spend the day with her and her kid.

I realized I was dealing with some kind of greedy narcissistic nut and told her, “Enjoy your day.” I am noping outta there for good. She follows me to the door and says, “Call me later, babe?” Yeah right! As if that would happen. She texted me saying that she hoped to see me again, and that it was a misunderstanding yet did not apologize.

Before the “Grand Finale” event at the end, we had gone on a few more similar dates, and I noticed that in every bar-restaurant that we went to the staff would grin at her and clearly knew her. This was probably her modus operandi.

Multitrak

Noped out of relationshipShutterstock

50. You Can’t Pick And Choose

I have to give my friend credit for doing something I don’t think I could ever do. After being married for years and having a three- and one-year-old with his wife, he discovered that she had been cheating on him. Multiple times, and with multiple men. Anyway, when he found that there was the chance that neither of the kids was his, he bought two paternity tests.

He brought them home, but then the horrible conclusion hit him. He was prepared if they were his. He was prepared if they weren’t. He had NO freaking idea what he would do if one was and one wasn’t. So he threw the tests away. They divorced, she keeps seeing people for short times, and he is now remarried to a fantastic person.

KMApok

51. Stepping Up To The Plate

I had a paternity test done on my son when he was about seven months old. The baby momma constantly told me he wasn’t mine, but then came after me for child support. So I got the test done, and he was mine. When my kid was 11 months old, DHS did a random substance test on her and she failed. I then started a two-year battle in juvenile court to not allow the state to “reunify” my child with the mother.

I finally got the juvenile court to release my case to the district court, where we fought for actual custody. During our district court battle, she took my son for a visit, and I got a call from the authorities in a city an hour away that she had been detained in a domestic dispute with her boyfriend at a hotel. They searched her and found all sorts of paraphernalia.

That was the last time she had him unsupervised. We went about two years of her barely calling, seeing him once a month for 10 to 20 minutes, until she finally got detained on “attempt to distribute.” She spent three years behind bars and has been out about eight months now. She appears to be clean, and just gave me an extra $100 for child support yesterday.

So we’re giving her a shot, but she will remain on supervised visits for a long time. The whole fiasco has been such a blur; it’s hard to remember exactly what, when, or where it happened, especially after years of really not having to deal with her. At the time, it was horrific. She punched me a couple of times, lied under oath, sent me threats, inappropriate photos of her with other men, the list goes on and on.

I’ve really tried to put a lot of it behind me, and forget about as much of it as I can so she can at least be somewhat a part of my kid’s life because that’s what HE wants. I just watch her like a hawk now.

Permalink

52. Daddy Issues

A distant cousin of mine definitely has children that don’t belong to the father…My cousin was adopted as an infant. She struggled with some developmental issues and has a low IQ compared to most, but can still live on her own with little to no issues. She eventually married a dark-skinned Latino guy several years ago, and they had a son together who has dark hair, dark skin, and dark eyes.

He is easily identified as their son. The real trouble happened years later. Her husband, who we’ll call Javier, has some IQ issues of his own. He’s just a little slow when it comes to tasks and reasoning. Anyway, Javier was in the army and got deployed internationally for about six months. When he came home, his wife was four months pregnant…you do the math.

He somehow still believes the baby is his own, even after it was born with pale skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. If that wasn’t bad enough, it happened AGAIN two years later with another baby—the same blonde hair and blue eyes. Everyone knows she slept with a different man (it was actually her high school boyfriend), but Javier still thinks the children are his.

It’s kind of sad, but at this point, there’s not much we can do. He has raised the kids as his own.

brickwallwaterfall

53. Punishing You

We had been married for six years. I started out thinking that she just struggled with depression and anxiety sometimes, but things kept escalating. I walked away when she started threatening to stab me in my sleep. We had already tried several couples’ therapists and individual therapists, but she refused to consider medication.

I called her to meet up and try to find some closure, but she cut me off by telling me that I wasn’t allowed to leave her, and that, as a punishment, she was sleeping with two other guys. At that point, I just ignored her number and filed for divorce. I hope she’s doing well, but I am glad to not be afraid for my life!

QuestionableKoala

54.  That Girl Crazy

My ex would stalk my Reddit account and angrily text me if she didn’t like my posts talking about how she’d brutally cheated on me (which she was totally guilty of). I remember finding out in the worst way possible. I’d just come home from seeing my grandmother on her deathbed when I caught wind of my girlfriend’s infidelity. Worst. Day. Ever. But it didn’t end there.

Since then, she keeps texting me accusatory messages about my sabotaging her attempts to get a job that requires a security clearance. Apparently it was my fault and not the fact she had already been denied a security clearance for mental instability.

Pigenshoes

55. On A Clock

My brother came to visit me. After I spent the whole day with my girlfriend, it was time to see my brother because we had not seen each other for a long time. We prepared some snacks and were about to start Lord of the Rings because both of us love Lord of the Rings. She called me and started a long conversation on the phone.

I said my brother was waiting for me, and she said that I could not spend my time with anyone else because it belonged to her. It was the last talk between the two of us.

vtoken6

56. Sister Act

The guy came up with the gem, “Not like you’re not pretty, but you would be so much more attractive if you looked like [insert his baby sister’s name].” To which I said, “you mean 15 years younger (and a minor), 6′, blonde, and a size 2?” He said it in front of his friends, and everything went completely silent. You could hear a pin drop.

His best friend punched his arm and told him he was being inconsiderate. I got up and walked out. His sister called later to apologize for him being a terrible guy, and told me his entire family was furious with him. Worst part? He genuinely didn’t think he did anything wrong.

schroedingersnewcat

57. Gloves Off

Her father recently got into a brawl with a date’s teenage kid. I was concerned and asked questions. She then explained how the teen had it coming because they didn’t know their place. Feeling confused, I asked her to elaborate again. It turned out that a grown man punched a mentally disabled autistic teen, rather than simply walk away.

I told her that I refuse to date people who are cool with domestic violence. She was immediately remorseful, but then defended her father’s outburst against a child a few moments later. Do not date people who think that an adult ought to beat mentally disabled children. That is not and never will be acceptable.

AdeptlyDisconnected

58. Almost Got Away With It…

A good friend of mine was out of the country on an emergency task and I ended up bringing his wife to the ER. We are very close, and all of us went to high school together. I was in the delivery room as she didn’t want to be without anyone there. The baby came out…straight-up Asian. I knew and the doctor knew.

I just walked out of the room right then and there. I had no idea his wife was being unfaithful. All I could hear was her wailing, saying her marriage was over. The nurses quickly picked up on why she was crying. Meanwhile, I called him and told him the news. He explained to his work that a true emergency was at home, so they chartered him a flight.

He filed for divorce right then and there. Only, it got so much worse. During the divorce, it came out that out of their three kids, none of them were my friend’s kids. It didn’t just mess him up, it messed the kids up as well because they knew him as “daddy.” The court tried to make my friend pay child support for those kids that weren’t his because “they became accustomed” to him as their father.

They claimed he was abandoning them when he had zero biological attachment. Family courts are so biased against men. My friend spent a fortune fighting it out of principle and eventually won. It emotionally ruined him and now he doesn’t trust women. He won’t go on dates or anything because of it. I can’t say I blame him because that is beyond messed up.

Permalink

59. Down To The Wire

My brother’s friend was in the army and had a short-and-sweet wedding with a woman he had been dating for a few months. She’s white American and he’s white Hispanic, and the baby came out Black. Until the paternity results came in, she was adamant that the baby was his. She even went to the extent of claiming he was a bad father because he wouldn’t claim “his” child.

The results came back and revealed she was a liar. And she thought she was going to stay with him for that army money.

lolalaughed

60. Stay-At-Home Scandal

A co-worker’s aunt just found out her dad wasn’t actually her biological dad. She was really big into genealogy and had mapped out her family tree as far as she could go. She also took one of those ancestry DNA tests about two months ago, and her father’s side didn’t line up with what she was expecting. In fact, she didn’t recognize a single name that she was matched with paternally.

She casually asked her dad if he knew any of the names, and he recognized the surname of the maintenance man at the apartment complex where he and his wife lived shortly after they had gotten married. He claimed he was a lousy repairman who always flirted with his wife, etc. The wife had passed a few years ago, so she decided to not tell her dad the news or why she knew those names.

Kjwells94

61. Outplayed

I told my ex-husband I wanted a divorce. The next day when I went to work he packed our entire house into a U-Haul and put it in storage. Even with a court order he refused to give my stuff back. I left my marriage with the clothes on my back. Years later, he decided he was above the courts because he managed to get away with that.

He took our son across the country telling me that he was moving with one day’s notice. He told me I couldn’t do anything about it. Of course, I promptly hired a lawyer and we went back to court. He lost joint custody of our son but it took a year of fighting, chasing him down, and not seeing my son. He made my life miserable for years, and now I’m finally free of him.

Ymisoqt

62. Sporting Spirit

I dated a guy back in high school. I thought he was pretty awesome—he was one of the first guys that I dated that didn’t dump me after a week. Well, after about 3 months of dating I, finally, went over to his house to spend time with him—it took a while to convince my mom to let me—and we were playing Super Smash Brothers.

I had already told him I was pretty decent at the game since I grew up with two older brothers and played it with them all the time. I beat this dude ONE TIME and I swear I’ve never seen a dude act like such a toddler. He screamed, threw his controller at the ground, and started cussing at me and the game. I grabbed my things and got out of there and never looked back.

Cupcake_Octopus

63. Survival Of The Fittest

She microwaved her travel coffee cup in my microwave and nearly set my kitchen on fire. It was clearly made of non-microwavable plastic and stainless steel. Lightning was forming in that microwave, as was pitch black smoke which began to pour out. She got annoyed at me for being upset by this and I then realized that this woman, despite being very attractive, kind, and usually good-hearted, lacked a survivable IQ and common sense.

Previous actions contributed to this final judgment but this action and lack of response to it sealed the deal for me.

Belisar002

64. Going Great Lengths For Girls

While we were separated and working on our divorce, my ex would come and whine to me about relationship issues he was having with my cousin, whom he’d had an affair with and for whom he had left me. He had moved in with, not just her, but her common-law husband as well. And then he was upset by how many other boyfriends she had.

This is my cousin who has had more baby daddies than she has had babies. Two of her offspring are simultaneously half-brothers and cousins. She has never been known for her monogamy, but my ex claimed to have been in love with her since they were children and this was magically supposed to make her return his affections. It was a recipe for disaster.

Among the best witnessed-from-a-distance bits of this nonsense were him getting jealous of her visiting her husband. One time, he even ran her off the road in his work van. Overall, he spent so much time screwing her that it derailed his entire career. After spending only a year at one job, his employers invited him to resign or be fired.

Then there was the time he went on a first date with a woman, and it went horribly wrong. Are we surprised? No. He brought our kids with him on the date, and then expected the woman to invite all of them over to stay the night. His date was rightly horrified at the whole thing. But what really took the cake was his next “relationship.”

One day, he drove a company vehicle to this woman’s house and ended up threatening her with a pistol. This resulted in a firing, a restraining order, and loss of his right to carry a weapon. After that, there were even more crummy dalliances. One girlfriend insisted that if he really loved her, he would move into the homeless shelter with her. So, he fabricated being kicked out of his parents’ house and spent the next month sleeping outside on the shelter’s patio before intake.

He’s currently trying desperately to find another girlfriend to move in with as the current one is throwing him out to move to Virginia with a new boyfriend of her own and naturally blaming me for the fact that his two oldest children both refuse to talk to him at all. Two of my shortcomings as a wife, as said by him, were being too classy and not providing the drama he felt requisite in a relationship.

Grave_Girl

65. Oh, Baby

I was blood typing a newborn once. The mom was an O+,  and the baby was AB+… which is more or less not possible. I immediately panicked, because I thought they had mixed up the babies. “Someone has the wrong baby; we’re gonna get sued; they’re gonna have to give genetic tests the entire nursery; what if they subpoena me for being the idiot who discovered the problem?” All of those thoughts raced through my mind.

After repeating the test three times and getting the same results, I called the floor and told them that they’d either drawn the wrong baby’s blood, or they’d switched babies because the mom couldn’t be the baby’s mother. Nope, it was a donor egg. The redraw matched fine, and everyone was where they were supposed to be. Oh God, my heart, though!

WishIWereHere

66. Not Me…This Time

First off, my dad wasn’t exactly the most faithful man. One of the women he slept with was claiming the child she had was his. There was just one issue: The child was mixed, and both my father and the woman were white as the day is long. It got so heated that their case actually went to The Trisha Show (which is kind of like the Jeremy Kyle Show, but older).

The test results came out, and shockingly enough, he wasn’t the father. At one moment during the show, Trisha asked my dad: “Do you have any other kids?” and he just smirked. We never really found out how many women he got pregnant in that time, and it’s likely I went to school with my brothers and sisters, but neither of us knew we had the same dad.

I never really found out what happened to the woman or to the baby either, but I truly do hope it grew up healthy and happy. I also hope the mother found peace with herself.

egliseerosee

67. Cutting You Off

I realized he was trying to cut me off from my support network. It started off innocuous enough. He didn’t like my two closest friends and would make remarks like, “Do we have to hang out with them? Can’t we see some of your other friends,” and I figured whatever, he doesn’t have to like everyone. Then I realized, he liked anyone if I wasn’t really close to them.

I also realized that he had started to act rude and crass around my closest friends but was nice and charming with other people. One night I told him I was going to hang out with my best friend alone and he went off and said she was a dog, she was trash, and I shouldn’t waste my time. I told him he was a terrible person.

He threatened to break up with me if I didn’t end my friendship with her, and I said that it sounded like a good idea. He went to my mom’s house that night and poured some kind of sob story out to her to make her think I was a cold-hearted person who had broken up with him for no reason and to help him convince me to get back with him.

I told him I didn’t need someone to control my life and I certainly didn’t need him.

osassafras

68. Pandora’s Box

A friend of mine and his girlfriend were on again and off again, but she still got pregnant at some point. She swore it was his, but he wanted a paternity test. He moved in with her and her mom, then she had the baby and they took the test. The test took a while to come back, but he and his family were over the moon with the baby, and they kind of started to forget about it.

Then, one day he mentioned it to the girlfriend’s mom and she said, “Oh yeah, she didn’t tell you? It came back a while ago, it’s totally your baby!” Awesome, right? Well, a few months later, they were moving out and he found the test in a box…It was not his baby. He left, but he did try to stay in the baby’s life in the meantime. Sadly, she wouldn’t let him.

LeafsChick

69. A Real Man

Nurse here. I once had a couple come in for delivery. The father was Black and the mother was white. The father was so involved and so ecstatic about becoming a father for the second time with this woman. Nothing really seemed off…until she started pushing. The baby girl came out completely white, with dark hair and blue eyes.

Usually, Black babies come out a little pale, but this one was just straight-out white. We had to escort the father out for fear of him becoming manic, but he just sat outside the room, on the ground, with his face in his hands. That was one of the saddest moments I think I’ve ever seen with a father, besides stillbirth. The odd thing after, though, was that the mom didn’t want the baby and wanted nothing to do with the biological father; probably out of guilt.

So she left the responsibility of this baby and their other two-year-old boy to this man who didn’t even question taking on the child.

Idkjill

70. Clearing The Air

My husband and I were visiting our friends who’d just had a baby. We are the godparents. Anyway, we were standing in the hallway talking to both sets of grandparents. Well, apparently, the hospital has a rule that only five visitors may be present in the hallway, but the security guard had let all six of us in for some reason and we didn’t realize it.

This nasty nurse came up to us, noted that there were six of us, told us someone would have to leave immediately, and then turned to my husband and said, “Oh, are you the daddy?” He had the perfect reply. Without missing a beat, my husband said, “That’s what we’re all trying to figure out here.” She got a look of horror on her face and backed away.

Permalink

71. Back To Square One

I know of a related court case that made it to the state’s highest court. So, this Black guy and this white woman who were married ended up separating and they both moved out of the state. Later on, the guy got a phone call from a friend and a relative of his ex, saying that his ex was pregnant and ready to give birth any day now.

The guy drove across the country so he could be there for the delivery. The baby came out white with blue eyes and red hair. The mom said it “must be a trick’s baby.” Seeing as the guy is Black, he understandably peaced out. Later on, the mom’s parental rights were terminated as it was determined she was unfit to be a mother, and the state went about trying to find the biological dad to notify him before the kid could be adopted.

Since the dude was still her husband at the time the child was born, he was legally the presumptive father. The state performed genetic testing and there was a huge twist. Turns out, HE IS THE FATHER. For an extra kick in the pants, the state ended up terminating his parental rights for abandonment. Not a happy ending.

tardersauced

72. Buzzer Beater

A doctor I know was doing his OB-GYN rotation and was training in a very rural and conservative part of the country. It was his first time assisting with delivery. He told me, “I don’t know nothin’ about birthing no babies, but the attending says, ‘Get in there and learn.’” The birth was about to happen, and the woman wanted her husband to leave the room. She insisted.

So the doctor told the husband that he couldn’t stay. Plus, medically, we needed to calm the patient to focus on birthing, and she was all angsty with her husband in the room. So the husband left. The birth then completed normally and the first thing the woman asked was, “What color is it?” All the doctor said in reply was, The important thing is that the baby is healthy.”

The woman said, “You have to talk to my husband and explain it somehow.” At that point, the doctor said, ‘” I’m sorry, but that is totally not my job. My job was to get the baby out of you and it is out.” He then quickly left the room as the husband was on his way in. This lady really was playing the cheating game all the way to the buzzer.

inskeep1

73. All Mine

I was going through some stuff in my early twenties and was pretty desperate for any kind of affection, which is the only reason I took a couple weeks to back out of this. The second time I ever met this girl, she told me to delete every other girl’s number from my phone—sister included. She then came over to my place, saw I had a full bookshelf, and ridiculed me for being a reader.

In the same breath, she announced that she loved using a specific substance so much and wanted me to try it. I, finally, escaped, but by then she was already sleeping with two of my friends—who are obviously no longer my friends. The good news is, I’ve now been happily married for five years and consider myself so incredibly lucky.

ResponsibleShape9336

74. Curtailed Celebrations

She came to stay for the first time. It was the night before New Year’s Eve and we were planning to go out drinking for the said New Year’s Eve. I had just worked a 12-hour shift. I am a carpet fitter so I do manual labor. I was, of course, exhausted. After coming over, she had a few drinks and started to get aggressive. The reason? Because I wanted to just relax that night but she wanted to go out for more drinking.

We broke up three days later. My father was an aggressive drinker when I was a kid so I could see how it would go…If you know you’re an aggressive drinker, get off the drink, man.

ChewwyStick

75. Toyed With

He didn’t have a car so I’d help him with rides to work. He worked the third shift at Toys R Us where he stocked shelves. I picked him up one night and he was so hammered he could barely stand. I made some comment about how he wasn’t going to be able to work that night. He started throwing things at me in the parking lot.

I threw his things on the ground and left him there. Cut to 5 years later, he is now sober and getting married this year! So good for him!

elmsa517

76. A Dog’s Life

My ex euthanized our dog, then lied that it was natural causes. The dog was old and blind and she had pleaded that she wanted a weekend with him. Then the next night she sent me a fake text saying that he passed during the night because he coughed and then just stopped breathing. That stuff wasn’t true at all.

I found out later after finding and calling the vet she brought him to that she bad-mouthed me and said that the dog was suffering and needed to be put to sleep because he was in agony and I was supposedly letting him suffer. She had him put to sleep like the day she took him home. Never got to say goodbye due to that witch.

Flaky_Plastic_3407

77. They Were Fake

My coworker finally got divorced after two years of trying to work it out with her hubby. She had a disabled child that her ex refused to help with and pay child support. She decided to sell her engagement ring, diamond wedding band, and several pieces of jewelry her ex gave her over the years and that she was able to keep after the divorce. But that’s when the dark truth came out…

Every gem in her rings was fake! Her jeweler told her that the gems had been recently swapped out for fakes. So the two years she was working it out with her ex, he was replacing all her jewelry with fakes.

Borgqueen-

78. Telling On Yourself

My mother used to work in a medical lab many decades ago. One day, another woman who worked in the building was visiting the lab, and during the conversation, she mentioned that she was blood type X, her husband was type Y, and their child was type Z (I don’t remember the specific types). One of the younger lab techs blurted out, “That’s impossible.”

The doctor in the lab just stared daggers at him. Luckily, the visitor didn’t notice or didn’t care, and moved along shortly after. My mom still remembers it as one of the most awkward moments she’d ever been privy to.

fuzzus628

79. Off The Wagon

I had a huge crush on her for a while but never had the opportunity to talk to her given our weird work schedules. Then a friend from work sets us up; I am elated. First date goes really well and we hit it off. We start spending as much time as we can around each other—talking on the phone every night, and all the other special things you do when you’re starting a new relationship.

Then she starts coming over more often unannounced. At first, she would stay for a couple nights. This then became a week, then two weeks. Then things got truly dark. I would come home from work and she would be in my house, sometimes hammered. Thing was she had almost been fired for an incident involving drinking before and was lying to them about her sobriety.

She would have a few too many and then go off about her family or how I wasn’t taking our two-month relationship “seriously enough.” The final straw dropped on Valentine’s Day this year. She gets annihilated to the point of not being able to walk on her own. After I refuse her hammered advances, she completely flips out.

What followed was a couple hours of her threatening to drive home in that state and sitting outside so the cold weather would freeze her to death, laying in my bed and wailing my name till she was hoarse, and alternating between manic laughter and crying. Two days later, once she was sobered up, I told her to kick rocks. We dated for just around 3 months. Quickest turnaround ever for me in a relationship.

Blabernathy

80. Holier Than Thou

One of my cousins just did a 23andMe test with her dad and discovered that they were not biologically related at all. It was especially horrible because my aunt, her mother, is one of the most ridiculously zealous and judgmental people I have ever met. She screams at the baby cousins when they don’t behave perfectly, and she literally threw a pocket Bible at a woman in a grocery store after the woman cursed while on the phone.

She also likes to send me long, unsolicited letters about “God’s plan” for my life. Surprisingly, her husband is the most fun and laid-back person I’ve ever met. He did not deserve this, nor did she.

toss_my_potatoes

81. Russian Roulette

This was my great-grandmother’s story. She grew up and in a very bad and poor area of a city near an army base around WWII and WWII. In order to make ends meet, she met up with various men. Our understanding is that she was very good at her job and therefore very popular with all the men around. She did not care what you looked like or your skin color, as long as you paid.

Her first husband finally figured out that she was the infamous “town favorite” when her first kid came out very obviously mixed. They got divorced and she found a second husband who didn’t mind…at first. One white child and two mixed babies later, they divorced. Repeat with two out of 11 known living kids being 100% white.

A total of five husbands, as well as several boyfriends and fiancés, walked out on her. The hospital staff apparently used to make bets on how soon she’d be back and what mix the kid would be the next time.

RedRaven27

82. What You Don’t Know Won’t Hurt You

My sister got pregnant in high school and later met her now-husband when she was five months pregnant. She is white and her boyfriend is black. The baby daddy, however, was white but not in the picture. At the delivery, I was with our entire family, including my now brother-in-law, visiting the baby. My sister was still in recovery from her C-section.

The brother-in-law picked up my niece, and the nurse looked at him and said, “She should darken up in a few days.” We all had a laugh. We knew he wasn’t the father, but she didn’t. I always wondered if she felt bad or assumed adultery. They have two more girls together and he was able to officially adopt the first baby three years later.

MetalPixie311

83. Family Resemblance

I’m too young to have witnessed it, but back in the late 1950s or 1960s, my uncle had an affair with a woman who later divorced her husband and became his wife. She had two children with her first husband—or at least, that was the official story that everyone maintained for a good long while. However, it was extremely obvious, based on appearance, that the second of my aunt’s two children was my uncle’s biological child.

This girl looked nothing like my aunt’s first husband or her older half-brother, but she looked exactly like my uncle. As the years went by, the pretense was dropped and was never mentioned again.

Lycanthrowrug

84. Cut And Run

My biological father is Greek with very pale skin, and my mom is a white western European mutt. When I was born, I had very dark skin and a full head of thick, black hair. My dad didn’t seem concerned but his mother freaked out. She called my mother and grandmother not-so-nice names and eventually left our lives. My father ended up splitting on us when I was about three weeks old with no explanation.

A couple of months later, my skin lightened, all of my black hair fell, and it turned out he was the father. We’ve never tried to reach back out to his family because, in that first year of my life, they went through a lot of drama including rehab stays, drive-by shootings, an affair followed by a divorce, another baby momma my mother didn’t know about, and so on.

My father and I tried to form a relationship when I was in high school. It went okay at first, and then he got weird very quickly. He urged me to call him dad, insisted on “regular visitation,” and routinely showed up at my friends’ and boyfriends’ houses causing a scene. He also pressured me into getting family pictures taken with his new lady and his five other kids.

By the way, none of us have the same mother, and this is not including the baby he had and ditched before he got together with my mom. I regret ever trying at all. He and his family are still trashy hot messes, and I’m glad my family decided to keep me away from them. The cherry on top—he was working for my husband’s parents when my husband and I first met.

Once my husband’s parents found out who he was and what had happened, they fired him so I would never have to run into him at their business. He had it coming anyway.

juliatheplant

85. Parental Supervision

I was at his house on our third date and his dog wanted me to throw the ball. I did. On the second time that it hit the wall he raised his voice and told me if I did it one more time, I was repainting the wall (You are not my father!). He was already on tenuous ground because of the way our second date had gone. To be clear, it wasn’t that great.

On that date, he went with me to my daughter’s recital. And, on the way home, said daughter was all excited and talking. He looked at her and said, “Do you ever be quiet?” Not gonna work out buddy.

JRich61

86. Business As Usual

She got unreasonably aggressive and angry over a game of monopoly. I dislike the game anyway but went along with it because it was something she wanted to do, but I didn’t really know the rules. She shouted at me when I did anything ‘wrong’ in the game, or anything she didn’t think made sense, to the point where I said, “Is this supposed to be fun?”

She said, “Yeah, it’s a great game.” So, I shot back, “No, I meant this relationship.” It had only been a month or so, so it was an easy out.

FisherPrice_Hair

87. What Is This Cleaning That You Speak Of?

We dated for a few months. The first time that I went to his place, I saw that he lived like a teenager. No real dishes, couches that people had put on curbs (one had holes where you would sit), tons of Mountain Dew, etc. He was not broke, as I knew, so I didn’t understand why he had everything that was pretty much garbage.

I went to his bathroom to take a shower and you could tell that he had not cleaned it in the three years that he had lived there. I was completely grossed out and out of there.

paps2977

88. In The Pink

I was doing epidurals in residency and this Caucasian couple came in. They were from a more rural part of the country and they didn’t look or sound particularly educated. Anyhow, the wife was particularly antsy. She was asking when she could go home even though the baby wasn’t out yet. Her husband looked bored and uninterested like he’d been there a whole bunch of times.

I usually don’t stay in the rooms during delivery, but I just happened to be nearby for this one to give more of the epidural because of a tear immediately after delivery. When I got to the room, the wife was holding her eyes shut and didn’t want to see the baby. I looked at the baby and he was obviously Black. Now the husband was paying attention, and he saw what I did.

He kept repeating, “When is that baby gonna pink up?” Louder and louder. The doctor tried to diffuse things by reminding everyone that the moment was critical. He suggested that the baby be taken to the resuscitation area in the NICU and that the father should step out while they repaired the laceration. We called the social worker, then I was called elsewhere, so I don’t know what happened afterward…but I can’t imagine it was good.

drleeisinsurgery

89. Third Time’s The Charm

Long story short, I do marketing for a housing company, and this entails getting testimonials from residents at our properties. This one couple I talked to were probably in their 40s. They told us that their kids were finally out of the house so they decided to downsize. After the formal part of the interview was over, the couple was still talking to us.

They said something like, “Yeah, we couldn’t wait to get on with this part of life but…then we accidentally had a third kid. Despite what they say, those dang vasectomies don’t work ’cause I still knocked her up!” The wife’s eyes were wide and she was looking at us with a panicked expression on her face. My own expression had changed from a smile to pure confusion, but I honestly couldn’t help it.

Still not sure if they were telling us the truth or if that guy had actually been raising someone else’s kid for 18 years.

DustedGrooveMark

90. His Own Mother Wouldn’t Love Him

When I was born, I had to be taken away due to a medical issue. My mother only saw me for a split second. When I finally came back, I was quite tanned because my dad’s side of the family is, but my own mother didn’t even recognize me. She apparently made a big fuss, saying, “This isn’t my child, this baby is Black!” Labor really can mess up your head.

SecretlyMorbid2008

91. Hidden Depths

So this Black couple gave birth to a white baby. Suddenly, the grandma on the mom’s side walked in and saw the dad with the baby. Without skipping a beat, the grandmother started talking about how her grandmother was actually white and it involved forbidden love—they met while he was deployed, etc. Turns out, the Black dad was just holding a white family friend’s relatively newborn baby who came to visit.

The actual newborn, who was clearly a Black baby, was getting cleaned up in the other room. The couple just laughed it off and the grandma changed the subject, never to speak of the non-existent white grandma again.

LawfulnessDefiant

92. Blood Is Thicker Than Water

My fiancé’s mom is a labor and delivery nurse. One time, she had a patient whose parents were present during her stay at the hospital. The staff there has a whiteboard with some general information about the patients like blood type, time spent in the wing, and how far along. This information is nameless for HIPAA reasons and instead has a patient’s number.

So this patient happened to be the only one in the wing at the time. Her father was walking back from the cafeteria at one point and he noticed the board. He stopped one of the nurses and asked if the blood type for the patient on the board was correct since he knew his daughter was the only patient there. It was B+. The nurse confirmed it was correct.

Turns out, he knew his and his wife’s blood type. He was O+ and his wife was A-. This combination will never yield a B+ baby. He brought his wife out and just pointed at the board—a look of shock just washed over her.

ljb423

93. Never A Dull Moment

My wife is a registered nurse as well as a hospital supervisor. “Code Yellow” is the code over the intercom for security and/or large male nurses needed. It rarely ever happens, but every now and then, over the speakers, you hear a “Code Yellow to Labor and Delivery.” You know the reason.

TheLegend5

94. It Doesn’t Add Up

My aunt is a nurse in the maternity ward. She had a couple come in and they were both very Black. Well, the lady had a baby and it was white as heck. Like, totally pale with no trace of any pigment. They put the baby on her mom and the mom started yelling about how it wasn’t her baby and they must have taken hers away. In all fairness, women can get very confused after delivery.

She was sobbing and freaking out while the father was just sitting there looking very confused. Even he realized that if she did cheat, there was no way the baby would be THAT white. The doctor and nurses were trying to assure her that it indeed was her baby and that the skin would darken later. But it was something else entirely. It was the mother-in-law who solved the puzzle.

When the guy called his mom, she pointed out that they had a second cousin who was albino and maybe the baby got that gene. Turns out, that’s exactly what happened—the baby was albino.

Beachy5313

95. Caught Red-Handed

My then boyfriend had let me use his iPad to watch a movie on Netflix. He had his messenger account linked to both his tablet and his phone, and messages kept popping up on it while I was watching without him realizing I could see. I got to watch in real time as he got his best friend’s wife to agree to sleep with him over the coming holiday weekend; with the promise that he’d get rid of me for that weekend so they could get intimate in our bed.

hoocares

Notifications facts | Humaverse

96. Bringing Down the House

I tried to get my ex-wife served with divorce papers, only to learn she had vandalized and abandoned our former home in response to my leaving. I went over to find almost all of my clothes had been bleached, along with our new living room set. The new dining room table and chairs had been gouged. Weeks worth of trash and raw food had been left out.

The refrigerator had been turned off, leaving hundreds of dollars worth of food to rot. The whole place smelled like death. She had also taken all of the electronics (probably to hawk), my passport with stamps in it from around the world, and the painting I had inherited from my beloved grandfather who had passed (she knew this would hurt me the most).

All said and done, there was $7,000 in property damage and another $1,500 in stolen property. I filed a police report but sadly, not much was done about it.

IntlMysteryMan

97. Family Friends With Benefits

I have a regular breakfast place that I had been frequenting on the weekends for about a good five or six years. One day I went into work later because of a doctor’s appointment, so I decided to pick up some breakfast at my regular place. I walk in and I take a look around to find a spot to sit at and I see my dad.

He’s sitting in a corner spot with some woman I don’t recognize. He looked shocked and I decided to walk over. He stands up and gives me a kiss/hug and introduces her as a coworker. It was the most awkward introduction of my life. My dad was an AC Repairman and was strictly on the road. No women in his office.

I pretended like I believed him, said hello and sat down on my own. Definitely one of the most awkward moments of my life that will stand out for a long time. More background: My mom and dad haven’t been together since before I was born however, he was married to another woman when this took place.

The waitresses were all my friends and a couple of days later when I went for breakfast, they proceeded to tell me how he met that lady there every week. I never brought it up to him and pretended it never happened. That was about 14 years ago…I still go to that breakfast place and the girls told me after that day he never came back to that restaurant.

In a couple of weeks, it will be one year since he passed. I’m glad I got this opportunity to think and talk about him.

StumpedatUserName

98. Missed Encounters

At a wedding of a college friend of my husband’s, we learned that the bride (his old friend) had been in love with him for over a decade. We learned this from the women at our table at the reception. We introduced ourselves while we waited for the bride and groom to arrive. They were horrified that we were there—and extremely worried.

My husband had NO idea that she had feelings for him. She bee-lined right for our table after the “introducing Mr & Mrs” thing—ignoring her family and leaving her husband standing alone. She clung to my husband and sobbed—lifting her head to glare at me. She had to be pulled off of him.

She repaired herself, then followed us as we tried to leave quietly—her parting shot was to stare at my chest and say, “Well I guess I know what I was missing all along!” Her new husband was in shock and my husband was horrified and embarrassed—he was completely clueless and would never have gone to the wedding if he’d know she was obsessed with him. It was bizarre.

streamstroller

99. The Worst Kind Of Deja Vu

A year and change ago, I had just gotten out of a bad relationship that I had broken off. I’m a driven person, and my work is what drives me. The relationship wasn’t great, so I wasn’t that torn up about having to end it. Several of my friends who don’t know me that well assumed that I was super depressed, because I wasn’t partying and going out as much as I normally do.

In reality, I just had a HUGE grant proposal to work on, which is a real pain in the butt and takes a lot of time. The relationship I had been in wasn’t serious, and it was only for a month-ish “unofficially” so it really wasn’t a big deal. She’s a weird one, so I was in the middle of introducing her to my extended friend circle when things broke off.

My friends came up with this whole plan of meeting me somewhere and then not showing up, only to have me find out it was a blind date. So they did this, and called me right when I was outside the sushi joint to let me know. After getting angry, I figured what the heck, why not go in and share a meal with a stranger, what could happen, right?

Imagine my surprise…when the girl I had just broken up with was sitting there waiting for me.

jachreja

100. Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey

Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court is incredible. My favorite case was one where the woman spent almost the entire 25 minutes going over all this “proof” that the kid was this guy’s kid. She used facial similarities and even brought in a witness to attest that she was of good character and wouldn’t cheat. She also tried insulting the guy, saying how awful it was that he denied his child.

Through all of this, the guy just stood there quietly; not saying a word, not defending himself, nothing. Finally, the judge asked if he has anything to say or if he would like to plead his case. He motioned to the only thing on the desk: A manila folder. The plaintiff took it to the judge, and she opened it. Its contents changed the whole case. She read it for a minute, then dismissed the case in the favor of the guy.

Turns out, he had been deployed overseas in Afghanistan during the year before, which was when the pregnancy and birth occurred. He came home after four years and was introduced to “his” two-year-old child.

unlimitednerd

Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8