When Your Friend’s House Is Totally Weird
Going to a friend’s house for the first time is always a mystery. Sometimes the home perfectly reflects its owner, and other it times it has you questioning whether you ever knew them at all. From hoarding disasters to familial oddities, these traumatized Redditors came face-to-face with the weird and the wonderful (but mostly weird).
1. That’s Not A Basement
I helped a buddy pull an engine, load it onto his truck, and then move it from his truck into his garage. His garage smelled awful. While moving the engine, I happened to slip and fall, noticing something terrifying in the process. His garage was essentially his basement, on dirt, no concrete or anything. His main sewage pipes were suspended under the house by twine.
There was a large hole dug in the ground and one pipe went straight down into the hole, but ended about 3′ down. I asked him what was going on, and he told me that’s how the house was when he bought it. Apparently, the house was built long before the city put in sewers, and there was no septic tank either. The previous owner had dug a tunnel under the house leading to a storm drain.
How this passed inspection is beyond me. Maybe the inspector assumed there was a septic tank down there or something. But, that didn’t explain the big hole around the pipe. Apparently, it would get clogged up with toilet paper and they had to dig it out with shovels.
2. Quite The Sight
I went over to a neighbour’s house in the 90s, a few months after we moved into the neighbourhood. They had a son who was a year younger than me and a daughter who was four years younger than her brother. We were hanging out in the garage shooting/passing a hockey puck around when we decided to take a break and have a slight snack.
The brother was eating a chocolate bar of some kind and was finishing his last mouthful when his sister walked in the garage and wanted some of the candy, even though it was basically gone. This is where it gets weird. Her brother jokingly sticks out a portion of chewed up chocolate bar and asks her if she still wants some.
She replies with a serious, “yes,” and he precedes to transfer some of his pre-chewed chocolate bar directly into his sister’s mouth like a bird! To this day, I have a hard time not visualizing them french kissing a chewed up chocolate bar when I see them at their parents house visiting.
3. House Comes With A Map
My childhood friend’s house had a series of tunnels, secret passages and hidden rooms. He thought it was perfectly normal and couldn’t explain why his parents had turned his average looking home into a maze. For a visitor, finding a bathroom or even the kitchen was frustrating. The owners were amused by it though. So weird.
4. Dirty Doesn’t Begin To Describe It
My best friend’s parents never cleaned the house. All the cleaning that ever happened in that house was when the children were doing their chores, which the parents paid them for. There were crumbs, dust bunnies, stains and general dirt everywhere. There was cutlery lying in random places on the floor of the house. No one ever did laundry and there were dirty clothes piles all over the place. But that wasn’t all.
They had a cat and a dog at the time so there was also a lot of hair and cat litter, as well as crumbs from their dry food all across the floors. There were three bedrooms, and this family consisted of a mom and a dad and their six children, two of which had moved out. One of the bedrooms didn’t have a door because it had broken and no one bothered fixing it.
There were two bathrooms, but out of the two bathrooms, only one was functioning and the door wasn’t lockable. The one that wasn’t functioning, well, it was just sitting there. They could’ve at least turned the non bathroom into a storage or something. The beds didn’t have clean sheets, and all the pillows and blankets were old and lumpy.
I hated visiting my best friend for all these reasons but she didn’t seem to understand why I never wanted to come over. The few times I actually went to her house it always felt like something stuck to your socks every step you took. The floor always seemed to be moist or something and the dishes were piling up in the kitchen, despite then having a dishwasher. That house was gross. I hated it.
5. Get A Room
Back when I was a senior in high school, I had all of my required credits so I had an early release where I got to leave school a period early. I convinced my best friend to cut her last class and come hang out with me. She wanted to go home to change before we went out, so I drove her home and we walked into her house. I’ll never forget what we saw next.
As we entered, we found her dad on the family computer watching a live webcam girl and pleasuring himself. This was back when most families had one computer in a neutral area for the whole family. Considering that guy was basically my second dad, it was even worse. We just ran straight up the stairs and shouted “Hey, we’re home early!”
I couldn’t look him in the eyes for years after. She was understandably embarrassed but like I said, this was my second family so she just went into denial mode and it was never talked about again.
6. Sad Reality
I initially thought it was awesome that there was no furniture at my best friend’s house in middle school, just mattresses on the floor and one dining room table with chairs. Nothing else. In the 1980’s, a toy called a disc launcher was popular, which would shoot out a spinning piece of plastic about the size of a nickel.
No furniture or really much of anything in the apartment meant we couldn’t lose the discs. In reality, it was that my friend’s mom had lost her life in an accidental shooting and his father was so depressed he had trouble caring for the family. They moved regularly and had no furniture.
7. Almighty Jennifer Garner
I was hanging out with this girl at her house for the first time. Huge, lovely house that she lived in with a couple of roommates. But then I saw something truly weird. Her one roommate was apparently obsessed with the actress Jennifer Garner and above the fireplace on the mantle was this really strange Jennifer Garner shrine.
There was a giant, 5-foot tall poster of Jennifer above the mantle. There were also tons of candles, small pictures, autographs, and trinkets on the mantle itself. I don’t think it was anything too weird, but who in the world is praying to Jennifer Garner everyday?
8. Tight Fit
I went to visit this friend for the first time and she gave me a house tour. I remember there was a hallway with two standard size doors for her and her sister’s room, respectively, and a purple mini door at the end of the hallway, it reached just about my mid thigh. She didn’t open that door but just told me it was her parents’ bedroom.
However, later that day, I saw her parents in the living room and they were regular-sized people. To this day, I ask myself how and why.
9. Crusty Corner
I went over to a guy’s house and there was about a four foot area of the carpet that was kind of white and crunchy with some splatters around the perimeter. There was a smell as well. I just casually observed that he should probably clean up milk when he spills it instead of leaving it to just dry because it is kind of gross. But the truth was even grosser than I thought.
Dude goes slowly red and I realized it was a giant cum stain. No idea how long he’d been just letting it fly onto the floor and leaving it there for it to grow to that size.
10. Put Some Clothes On!
Oh man, this brings back a memory of when I went to my buddy’s house to see if he wanted to hang out. This was pre-cell phones, so you would just ring someone’s doorbell to ask. I rang and no one answered but I waited for a couple moments. I then saw my friend’s dad run butt naked past the door and up the stairs. I still chuckle about that to this day.
11. More Of A Bath Family
I was at an old friend’s house years ago. I was also friends with her parents who were amazing artists and professors at a local university. I’d never gone in their family bathroom upstairs. Their house was never dirty or anything, just a really lived-in farmhouse with clutter. There were books piled everywhere but that’s fine, even interesting.
I wasn’t prepared for their bathroom though. Most of the bathroom was pretty normal, maybe a little messy. But it was their shower that caught my eye. The curtain was pulled back and I could see the whole thing. It didn’t look like it had ever been cleaned! It was so bad that I would never, under any circumstances, be willing to attempt to shower in it.
I would sooner hose myself off in the backyard. I’d rather shower at a truck stop. Disgusting. It was so bad that if you had to clean it, you’d have to start with a large putty knife or something to scrape the dirt and hair out.
12. A Bit Much
One time I slept over at my friend’s house and I got to borrow his sister’s room to sleep in, since she was away for the weekend. It was very dark when I went to sleep, so I didn’t really see anything in there. But when I woke up in the morning, I was in for a surprise. I could see that the room was completely plastered with posters and pictures of Leonardo Dicaprio.
There was not a single piece of the room that was untouched by his presence, and they were all looking at me passionately and seductively. This happened some time in 1998, so pictures of Dicaprio in a young girls room wasn’t surprising at all. However, waking up to this as an 11-year-old boy was quite a weird experience.
Whenever I see a picture or video or hear the name of that guy, I can only think of this room.
13. Literally Monkeying Around
Back in high school, we would cut class and head to my classmate/friend’s house to smoke while his parents were at work. Nice upper middle class home with a fully relocated basement perfect for hanging out to watch TV or listen to music. The weird part is that one of the family pets was a spider monkey who happened to live in the basement.
My friend who lived in the house always told visitors that the monkey was chill and there was no need to worry, however, even though the monkey did not bite or scratch, it did like to choose someone’s head to latch on to. It would then proceed to just hold on for dear life, hang there for the entire visit and yell the entire time.
Of course, my friend thought this was hilarious and would do little to encourage the monkey to let go. So yeah, if you cut class and went to this guy’s house and hung in the basement, there was a good chance you would be doing it with a spider monkey strapped to your head. And yes, the house was located in NYC, so we didn’t have a lot of exposure to monkeys other than the zoo.
14. Strict House
I went to a friend of a friends house in the ninth grade and she had a beautiful home, super nice furniture and tons of snacks in sparkly containers. We were only staying for a few minutes and she was super nervous that her parents would find out, so we left quickly. That’s when she told us that she wasn’t allowed to touch anything in the home without asking.
She couldn’t make a meal, turn the TV on, sit on the couch, or get a drink without asking. She said she sat in her room and read until her parents got home. If she got hungry, she would have to call her mom at work for permission to use the sink, microwave and dishes. At the time, I don’t know how I classified this information.
And not wanting to be a jerk, I shrugged it off and never mentioned it again. It was super weird. She was a good kid and I’m not sure why her parents treated her like that. I wonder what happened to her.
15. Makeshift Safari
At this one friend’s house, the mother had turned the front room into a jungle. It was a very large room, probably at least 1,400 square feet. The house itself was two stories, but this room did not have the second story above it, so it was like 20 feet tall. She had tons of indoor plants in pots as well, along with a bunch of other stuff.
In addition, she also had a lot of taxidermy stuff. She had cougars, bobcats, hawks, all sorts of random stuff positioned in various spots in the jungle. It was weird.
16. Next Level Innovation
At one friend’s house, there was a microwave on top of the toilet. You couldn’t enter the kitchen due to the amount of hoarding, so if they were hungry they would plug the microwave in, place it on the toilet and microwave some food. There were also lots and lots of empty boxes, stacked in every corner of the house, in case they ever had to return items.
I can somewhat understand that mentality but when you’ve used that item for years, return policies don’t apply anymore.
17. Is That As Loud As It Goes?
Years ago, every morning on my way to high school, I’d stop at my friend’s house and we’d walk together to school. Now, we had been friends for many years, and they were cool with me knocking on the door and letting myself in. His family was nice and always happy to see me. There really was nothing weird about it or even them.
One morning, it started off routine as usual. I knocked and let myself in, but inside there’s a super loud alarm going off. So loud that my ears hurt. I’m immediately wondering what is happening. No one’s home, but maybe it’s the fire alarm? I checked the living room, kitchen, and checked the backyard, and there’s no one.
I went upstairs and checked the bedrooms. The parents room was empty, and so was the brother’s room. I checked my friend’s room and this was clearly where the sound was coming from. It was so loud. I could see a silhouette of someone in the bed so I yelled my friend’s name and he woke up. He was somehow sleeping to the loudest alarm I ever heard.
He turned it off and apologized for being late. He explained his family was out of town and he stayed up late last night. I didn’t even care, as my main concern was the alarm, and he explained he has trouble waking up, so he McGuyvered his alarm clock and hooked it to a fire alarm, which was one of those old school iron bells with a hammer.
I was still in awe that he somehow managed to sleep through it, as my ears were still ringing and I wasn’t even in the same room with it.
18. Funny But Mean
My best friend in junior high lived with her grandmother, and granny collected dolls. She had an entire room upstairs full of them. One of them was life size and it laid on the bed in that room. It was creepy if you didn’t know what was going on in there, so naturally, anytime any other friends joined us at her house we told them it was her dead aunt that they had taken to a taxidermist.
Then we would shove that other friend in the room with no lights on and shut the door.
19. Privacy, Who Needs It?
Not what I saw, but the actual house itself. In the early 2000s, I had a friend who moved from another state—Michigan, I think—and her parents had a brand new house, custom built. The weird part is that there were no doors inside. Literally, no doors anywhere. No doors on the bedrooms, no doors on the bathrooms, just extra large open doorways.
All of the bedrooms, including the parents’ room, were along one hallway, which was open to the living room, so literally no privacy. You could sit on the couch and see into every bedroom. The doorless bathroom was at the end of the hall. There was a tiny three foot wall blocking the toilet from view, but that was it, nothing else.
The parents had a bathroom attached to their room as well, and it too had no door. I’ve always wondered if the utter lack of privacy was a Michigan thing, or they were just weird people
20. Dirty Motto To Live By
In highschool, my close group of four friends, including myself, would regularly spend time at each other’s houses, but we never went to my friend Jen’s house. Finally one day, we decided to go to her place, and it was a nice house in a really good neighborhood. But then she opened the door, and there was junk everywhere.
Stuff piled four feet high over every inch of floor space, except for little 12″ wide pathways through the house. The garbage bin was full and stuff had been piled an extra two feet on top of it. Every inch of counter space had dishes with nasty food stuck to it. We went to the unfinished basement to use the computer and there were balls of dog hair the size of soccer balls rolling around.
There was even dog poop in a few spots. I guess she saw the look on our faces because she casually said, “my parents think life’s too short to spend all their free time cleaning.” Ok, cool, I get that, but like, taking out the trash takes like two minutes! The weirdest part was walking into her room and her sister’s room and both were spotless.
A friend from school was the son of a vicar, so their house was provided by the church. There was a downstairs toilet at the end of a hall under the stairs. But you could open the cupboard under the stairs and there was a handy window to view into the toilet, which always seemed very weird.
22. Ferret About It!
I was at a fourth grade classmate’s house for a Girl Scout meeting and the house smelled really bad/strange, like a rundown pet store. I assumed maybe there were hamster cages somewhere or they had a few cats or something. But boy was I wrong. I went to go sit on the couch and what I thought was just part of the throw blankets tossed on the couch were loose ferrets.
30 loose ferrets, to be exact, and they were just chilling around the room.
23. All Around Bad Idea
They had bought a goat to keep the grass down as they had a big backyard, but this was in the days before pool fencing was a requirement and we found it drowned in the pool when we went outside to play. It was shocking and weird to experience that, as I was only 10, and it was a friendly goat, which made it even sadder at the time.
24. He Came With The Place
One day we left a party and a friend called us to stay at his house. The house was nice, big, and spacious. The boy said, “hey, do you want to see something weird?” and he took us to a room where they had memories and photos of a man. Then out of nowhere, he pulls out the skeleton of his uncle, who was the previous owner of the house.
25. Home Office
Growing up, when my friend’s mom would go to the bathroom, she would set up a card table with her smokes, ashtray, crossword puzzle book, pen, and Halls menthol throat lozenges—she ate them like candy. There was also a rubber bag with a hose that hung over the side of the shower. When I grew up, I realized what that actually was.
It was her literal douchebag. It also possibly could have been an enema, given the whole setting up office in the bathroom thing. Regardless, she was a riot and I adored her. She’d announce it was time to go set up shop in the bathroom.
26. That’s One Way To Clean It
About five years ago, I was at a friend’s apartment for the first time. He had just moved in and invited me and some other friends over. We were in the kitchen talking and having some drinks he made for us. The dishwasher was running on the side. After a while, it finished and the door opened up automatically, so we all saw what was in there.
A lot of cups, tableware and his toilet seat. There was an awkward moment of silence, and then finally somebody asked him about it. His answer was actually pretty logical, “Because it was dirty!”
27. Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover
In the tenth grade or so, I was paired with some dude from class to do a group project, and since he lived closer to the school, we decided to do it at his place. His house was a rundown shack, with bare walls, barely covered in cement and no paint. The neighbors were shady as well, and the entire atmosphere of that place was making me regret every single decision I made that led there.
I had no way to go back so I entered his place, through a door that was little more than a piece of metal with singles stuck to the outer walls of said giant shack. However, inside it was a completely different environment. It was more like a palace than anything else, and he had better conditions inside than my own house.
A living room with a brand new PS2, Xbox and Gamecube, tons of videogames and a giant TV. Expensive furniture all over the place, and his room was huge, with a double bed just for himself. The kitchen was full with top notch appliances, and his fridge was full of food, drinks, and he was just like, “take anything you want to snack.”
I had a grand day there to be honest. We did that assignment really quickly and spent the rest of the day playing video games and eating frozen pizza. It was all surreal, especially leaving their place and looking back to the shack outer walls that hid inside a home that would be the pride of any upper middle class family.
28. Where To Begin…
I helped a friend move, who’d been living with his dad, who had mental health issues. The apartment had deteriorated into something that might qualify as a hoarder state. There were several layers of carpet with dog poop in between them, as apparently the dad’s solution whenever the pets made a mess on the carpet was to just go and get a roll of surplus carpet and roll it out over the top of everything.
This had happened a few times. The dad also thought he was a carpenter and had installed “built-ins” all over, but what this really meant was random bits of wood screwed into the drywall as haphazard shelves and cabinets. Apparently, he did it all with wood screws and a manual hand screw driver, but they were surprisingly difficult to take apart.
I had to buy a crowbar from a harbor freight. The bathroom toilet didn’t have the seat attached for some reason. There were several layers of doormats at the front door, and somehow the bottom ones had rotted. My friend was so embarrassed at the state of things, but it wasn’t his fault, as his dad was the one doing it.
His dad had issues that made it not fully his fault either, but everyone felt kind of bad. At one point, I asked if it was even worth doing just to get the deposit back, and my friend said, “The deposit is gone. We’re doing this so my dad and I don’t get sued.” We got through it, eventually. We even rented a truck to drive stuff to the dump.
29. Creepy Corners
I had a friend whose mom loved these free-standing and almost life-sized dolls that looked like they were crying in a corner. It was disturbing to see what looked like a traumatized toddler in every other corner, wearing fancy little dresses.
30. The More The Merrier
There’s way too many mini fridges in my friend’s apartment. She has a spacious, three-bedroom apartment in New York City, but the kitchen is a stereotypical NYC kitchen—super tiny. Many of her family members still live there—about seven or nine people, give or take—and since there’s so many of them and the kitchen is tiny, they can’t get a bigger fridge in the kitchen.
I had the same situation when I still lived in the city but I just had a bigger fridge in the hallway. My friend, however, just had like seven mini fridges and I always wondered why she wouldn’t just get one big fridge and keep it in the hallway or living room. Turns out, all the mini fridges came from her siblings, who lived on campus when they were in college, and she just kept it and made use of it.
31. More Museum Than House
When I was a kid, my friend Mario had a house where the upper floors were off limits to kids. The front door was on the upper floor, so when I came to the house, I had to immediately go down to the finished basement where the grandmother lived and the kids played. I would pass the kitchen, which was considered too dangerous for kids.
I would then pass through the living room/dining room, which was decorated like it was frozen in time for a cover of House Beautiful, complete with place settings, artistic folded napkins, and a floral centerpiece. The sofas and chairs were covered with clear plastic. The basement/rec room was a normal chaos of a kids area, though.
One day, I asked to use the bathroom, and Mario said, “there’s one under the stairs,” while pointing up the stairs, so I went upstairs and used that one. I was done, but couldn’t find soap to wash my hands. Looking around, I smelled soap, and discovered a bowl of soaps formed like roses and seashells. I used one of those, dried my hands, and went back to the rec room.
A little while later, Mario’s mom called down and asked if someone used the guest bathroom. I said I had. She called me up, and seemed very put off. She asked if I used one of the little soaps and the hand towel. I said I did. “Okay, but you are not supposed to use that bathroom, those are for guests.” I replied I was a guest.
She stared at me for a few seconds and told me, in a flat tone, “I think you better go home now.” So I did. Later, Mario told me I was not supposed to use that bathroom. I had used the decorative soaps and hand towels, which were for displaying only, not for using. I was eight, why would I know that? Mario told me that the upper floors were off limits, and I had violated this sacred rule. I had ruined her perfect decor, and I was not allowed back. Apparently, the parents and kids had bedrooms on the upper floors, but they were only used for sleeping.
They also had decor like shelves full of art and fancy things, but the kids were not allowed to touch them. The only place they could be kids was outside or in the rec room.
32. Trash Dog
My friend and her family have a doggy door, but no dog. What do they use it for? They allow raccoons to come in and they feed them frequently. They are all so nonchalant about it.
33. Unsettling Sequence Of Events
A giant iguana, like five feet, including the tail. After I walked into the room it just slowly, quietly, looked over at me from its inclined perch in its floor-to-ceiling cage, gazed at me, let out a long mournful groan and released a ponderous, unprompted dump. All of this while never breaking eye contact. It was weirdly impressive.
34. That’s One Way To Break A Game
When I was 12 years old, I went to the house of a neighbourhood boy who I guess qualified as a friend at the time. He had an NES, which interested me, as I grew up in a Sega household. When I mentioned it, he said something pretty disturbing. “Oh, yeah,” he said casually, playing with a Stretch Armstrong, “that thing. My mom attacked her boyfriend and he collapsed onto it, so it doesn’t work anymore.”
This was my first exposure to not just the world of adults, but the world of super messed up adults who attack each other. I just burst into tears.
35. As Clean As A Whistle
Her mom had a “white room”, with white carpet, a white couch, a piano and a credenza filled with china and figurines. Nobody was allowed to ever go in there because it would dirty the room. The couch was even covered in plastic. It was just really bizarre to me, as a five-year-old, to have a room that nobody could go in.
I had other friends whose parents were hoarders, and unfortunately you see how many people are hoarders. That, or I just somehow made friends with lots of kids of hoarders.
36. Paul Bunyan’s Pants Prank
I was responsible for the weird thing in my friends house. Back in the day, my fiancé—now my wife—and I went to the Goodwill once and saw a giant pair of pants for sale. When I say giant, I mean these things were comically large. I’m a pretty big guy and I could fit in one leg. You could even put three people in these pants, then button and zip them up with no problem whatsoever.
Not only that, but whoever had them before was so large they were busting the crotch out of them. Seeing these pants for sale we did what any normal person would do and bought them with the intent of having as much fun with them as possible. I don’t remember who came up with the idea but we eventually started taking them to friends’ houses.
My wife would shove them in a rather large purse she had and after we had been at that friend’s place for a while, she would excuse herself to go to the bathroom. While she was in there, she would pull the pants out and hide them in the friend’s dirty laundry hamper and then come back out, play to cool and not say anything.
Imagine doing your laundry and at one point pulling out a pair of pants that are so big there is nobody you even know that would wear such giant pants. It’s one thing to find another person’s underwear in your house but a pair of pants that huge is another thing altogether. Almost every time we’d end up getting a phone call asking if we’d left pants at their house though just because it seems like something we would do.
37. That Friend Who Can’t Function On Their Own
So for a suitable comment on this thread I, a 28-year-old male, have been trawling my brain and had delved into my childhood, before realizing that one of my friends, a 20-year-old male, is one bonkers guy and the last time I was at his flat made me realize he is the perfect example. The first time I was at his I noticed a pretty well-decapitated chair, like there was foam everywhere.
I asked him about it and he said, “oh yeah, I just wanted to see what it would be like if I took an angle grinder to it.” Standard. Another time, I was using his toilet and couldn’t have been in for more than five minutes. He never knocked on the door or anything to say he was desperate to use it. I came out and he said, “you were taking your time so I had to use the bucket.”
He then points to this mop bucket, with the mop still inside, which was now floating in his urine. He seemed quite proud of the fact that he had a “mini ensuite” AKA his pissy mop bucket, in his living room. He’s never really been given the life tools to know what he should be doing with self-care, so I kinda feel sorry for him, but he seems comfortable with how he lives for the most part.
38. Big Fans
I was at a friend’s apartment shared by a couple of guys in their 30’s. One of the roommates put up a poster of Jessica Alba in the common area that literally took up an entire wall. Like, you would come out of the kitchen into the hallway and just see a giant Jessica Alba. My friend who lived there found it embarrassing but was outvoted, so it stayed up until that roommate moved out.
Similarly, I had a friend who worked at Kohl’s and won a cut-out of Hayden Panettiere when they drew names to see who would take it home after the Candie’s display changed. Their kitchen bordered on the rec room and had a tiny window cut out between them for some reason, so they taped Hayden to it, which led to unintentional scares.
You would just be standing by the sink, turn, and jump because there was a face staring at you through the window.
39. Child-Like Priorities
Her family had a removable backseat of a van in their living room, being used as seating. They did a lot of odd things like that; such as foregoing things most people would consider essential—like vehicles or furniture—so they could spend their limited income on more luxuries. When my parents bought new living room furniture, they gave her family their old sectional with a pull out bed.
My friend mentioned how stoked her and her sisters were to not have to share a bed with their cousins anymore. But when I needed a camcorder for a school project, her family were the only ones I knew who had one, and her brother had a Playstation. It always baffled me.
40. Extreme Diet
One of my friends had a padlock on their refrigerator. When I asked for some toast with butter and jam after school, she had to ask her mom, who kept the key on a chain around her neck, to open the fridge.
41. Use A Different Drawer
I dated a girl when I was in college and during the summer I’d go see her at her family’s house. She lived about 90 minutes away so I’d usually stay the weekend there. We were cooking dinner one night and I reached in a drawer to get a spatula. In unison, her family said, “Don’t use that one!” Turns out, it was the cat spatula.
By that, I mean they used it to clean-up cat poop. Why they kept it in the drawer with regular utensils is beyond what my feeble brain could handle.
42. It Gets Weirder And Weirder
Where to begin. A pot of 40 year old butter and a system of sandstone hideout tunnels from the 18th century that was accessible from an old well in the yard. A black, dried, severed hand of some saint in a glass box—he works as an antiquities restorator. Oh, and a complete lack of a bathroom. I asked the friend where the toilet was, and it turned out that it didn’t even exist.
She led me, holding my hand, through a wardrobe to a neighbouring flat in complete darkness and told me we absolutely, under no circumstances, could we wake up their baby, or else we’d have a big problem. And beware the scattered lego pieces and bowls with cat food. I almost accidentally stepped into their bedroom where they were sleeping, as they had a curtain for a door.
The flat, which was merely a giant kitchen and bedroom, was exceptionally cheap for the center of Prague, she said.
43. Not So Family Friendly Movie Night
This reminds me of a time during middle school when I went over to a friend’s house and the whole family was watching Girls Gone Wild together. The mom, the dad, the uncle, my 12-year-old friend, his 10-year-old sister, and a couple little kids who weren’t paying attention but were in the room. Sometimes they laughed and made fun of the girls.
Other times, they sat there quietly as if we were all watching Schindler’s List.
44. Gross Game
My friend and I were just sitting around, kind of bored, so he suggested we play a board game. They almost never played board games at the time, so the closet that the games were in was a mess. After some digging, we found a box of dominos and took it out. When we opened it, a bunch of the dominos had these weird brown smudge marks on them.
It looked like someone rubbed their poop on these things, even though it was probably something else. So then we started throwing them at each other, and since then, they have been immortalized as the legendary ‘poop dominos’.
45. Crafty But Crude Contraption
My friend had this contraption, that was about the size of a 10 gallon aquarium, and had two stuffed chihuahuas inside on a type of revolving machine. When you put a quarter in it, it would start up and one chihuahua would pop up onto the other and begin vigorously drilling it from behind. It was weirdly fascinating, to say the least.
He kept it on top of his refrigerator and rigged the coin slot so it did not need coins to operate. Instead, every single time someone went in to get a drink, you’d hear it start up.
46. Answer Raises More Questions
The weirdest thing I saw at a friends house was a single pancake on the stairs. No plate. Just a bare pancake. When I asked why there was a pancake on the stair, my friend responded, “because I didn’t want to eat it” as if that explained anything.
47. From Bad To Worse
I slept over at a friend’s house once, and like many sleepovers, there was no sleeping, but this wasn’t for a fun reason. My friend had warned me that they had cockroaches, but never specified how bad. I figured it would be a couple scurrying out when lights were off and that would be it. Little did I know, it was much worse than that.
Wall to wall crawling cockroaches. I had to shake some off of the mat I was supposed to sleep on. Her dad told me about how they oiled the inside of their leftover pop bottles and left bits of food at the bottom to lure them in so they could get rid of them. He then kindly offered me some cotton for my nose and ears so they didn’t crawl in while I was asleep.
I convinced my friend we should stay up all night watching movies, and then wait to see the sunrise outside.
48. He’s Not Bothering Anyone
Back in the 90s, a family friend’s dog had passed. I ended up going over a few days later to play basketball, and the dog was laying in its usual spot, in a small bed near the TV in the living room. I said, “oh, I thought spot passed,” and he said, “he did.” That’s when it all clicked into place. The gears started turning and the horror of it all became crystal clear.
Turns out, they left the dead dog just laying there and they were gonna bury it that weekend when the sister came home from college. But in the meantime, they just left it laying there. It was an emaciated old chihuahua, so it’s not like it was a gassy, swollen, stinking mess. More like a tiny little dog mummy, all dried out. But still, who does that?
49. Not A Normal Thing To Share
When I was a kid, my friend’s mom used to use the toilet with the bathroom door open. Number one or number two, the door would be wide open and we could just go and have a chat like it was normal. Another time, I stayed at their house and the following morning, I came out of the bathroom after brushing my teeth and washing my face.
The parents saw me and asked, “have you washed your bum?” I was a bit confused, as it’s not a normal thing to ask a guest. Then they said, “the flannel is there for you to wash your bum.” So yeah, this family had a bum flannel that they all used to wash their buttholes with and then expected me to use it.
50. Indiana Jones’ Nightmare Bathroom
It was 1996 and a 13-year-old me was walking around the town with my mates. I needed to pee and my mate W said I could use the bathroom at his house. His house was huge. We lived in a village that was mostly two to three bed terraces and semis but this was a double-fronted, detached house in a tiny, hidden avenue and the inside was beautiful.
I reached the bathroom, shut the door, pulled down my pants and sat down. As I was peeing, a movement caught my eye. It was a bathtub full of snakes! Suffice to say, it’s a good job my bottom was already over the bowl. I’m not ashamed to say that I didn’t even wipe, and I almost fell down the stairs getting out of the house. I never went back.
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