January 29, 2023 | Eul Basa

Women Reveal The Shallowest Reason They Rejected Someone


We’ve all had moments we’re not particularly proud of.  It could be a time that we judged someone based off the most obtuse of facts we learned about them. Maybe that person was also a potential significant other, and maybe the judging was actually us rejecting that person because we just couldn’t get over the way they pronounced “poutine.” Regardless, we’ve all been a little shallow, and these Redditors have decided to share with us their most shameful reason for kicking someone to the curb. Allow yourself to feel ever-so-slightly morally superior to these folks who couldn’t get over these tiny insignificant facts about their prospective mates.

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49. Beans, Eh?

He smelled vaguely like beans. refried beans.

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48. Sensible

I'm pretty sure that if I meet another person with the same name as two of my exes, I'll leave just due to the negative connotations.

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47. Don’t Come For the Queen

He didn't like Beyoncé. That's pretty much a dealbreaker for me as it is, but the fact that he couldn't give me any reason WHY he hated her just seemed...suspicious. Like you don't need to love her, but how can you literally hate someone you've never met without giving one reason as to why not?

Also, he seemed to think it was unheard of to not have intimate relations on the first date...which is a more valid dealbreaker to me, but just the icing on the cake that I didn't need to go on a date with him.

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46. Regional Humor

The subway commute between our apartments meant I had to change trains from the N/Q to the A/C/E.

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45. Crash Into My DMs

I'm a music snob in a way, but I will cut down anyone who says pop music is bad for being pop music.

There are a few select people in my life who only know me as "the girl who likes Ke$ha." Really? Because I like Swedish math metal and 80s synth pop and Canadian prog rock too, but you're too hung up on the fact that I own blue lipstick to have a conversation with me.

Related, the venn diagram of people who dismiss me as a person for liking pop music and people who loooove Dave Matthews is two circles laid directly on top of one another.

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44. Sounds Like a Real Interesting Guy

The last guy I went on a date with said everything was "interesting." I was "interesting." The beer was "interesting." Every story was "interesting." He needed a thesaurus. And to get over his ex-wife.

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43. Like Mother Like Boyfriend

His voice. It bothered me when we started dating. Then when I was commuting, two older women sat in the seat in front of me. They started complaining in a whiny voice (think George's mom from Seinfeld). I realized he sounded exactly like that. Called him up when I got into work and broke it off.

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42. You Wake Me Up, Ya Dead, You Hear Me, Dead

He phoned me.

I had already expressed my dislike for phone calls, and he could have sent me a text.

But the worst part—he phoned me on a Saturday morning, he woke me up with the unwanted phone call.

Unforgivable.

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41. Big Willie Style No More

I had a guy tell me that Will Smith was his favorite actor and he loved all of his movies. I (jokingly) asked even Wild Wild West?His response was, "yeah he's a great actor and that was a great movie." I was more turned off by him not having a sense of humor rather than his love of Big Will.

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40. Stay in School, Kids

"how r u lol"

It's the "lol" as punctuation that's the real deal breaker; the lack of proper spelling just confirms it.

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39. That’s Understandable, lol

One girl wanted to go out with me, but when we texted she ended almost every text with "lol," and I felt this weird pressure to start ending my texts with "lol" as well. Needless to say, we did not go out.

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38. No One Has Time For That

I just stopped conversing with a guy because he would only respond after four or five days, even though he initiated the contact. Screw that.

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37. Desperation

Any guy who texted too much when I was single was an automatic out. If I didn't answer his text yet and he sent more texts asking other questions to try to get a response, he was out. Ex:

Him: what's up?

Him: I forgot to tell you about so and so...

Him: work was crazy today

Him: well you must be busy text me later

Him: hope everything is okay.

Him: did I do something?

Me: I was in the shower for 17 minutes for dang sake, don't ever text me again.

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36. I Don’t Think They’re Just Talking About His Apartment

His flat was too beige. He was a lovely guy, but everything he owned was just so...bland. If there was a personality in there, I didn't see it.

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35. Must Have Been a Doozy

His name. I couldn't help it even though I know it's horrible.

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34. Yep, They’d Get Dropped

He wanted me to go to a Kid Rock concert.

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33. There’s a Joke in There

He chewed with his mouth open.

And another smoked with me and slobbered all over. Don't slobber all over.

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32. And the Fandom Went Wild

"Lol, Harry Potter is for nerdy little kids."

Nope'd out of that one.

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31. Fun Fact: No One Cares

I went on one date with a guy who punctuated every one of his points with the phrase, "fun fact..." And would push his glasses back up his nose while saying this. IT WAS SO DISTRACTING AND ANNOYING. I couldn't deal with it; I never saw him again.

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30. Too Much Confidence, We Can’t Have That

Because he said that he was prettier than me while staring into the mirror.

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29. Goo Goo Gaa Gaa Shut Up

I once broke up with a guy because he burped in my mouth when we were kissing (without apologizing!) and would always talk to me in a puppy voice. In college. Drove me nuts. I, too, have spent a lot of my life being educated, and being spoken to that way made me feel like an idiot. It's one thing when a couple either verbally or non-verbally agrees on talking to each other in a certain tone of voice, but we never got there. Sucks too because I had been crushing on him for a long time, but that did it for me.

Also, I was his first girlfriend ever. Married the woman he dated after me. Probably dodged a bullet with that one.

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28. Girl, Where’s Your Feminism? He Can Take Your Name

His last name was my first name with an "ow" tacked on to the end.

For example: Sarah, Sarahow

So if I married him, my name would be my first name twice with an "ow" at the end.

Disclaimer: Sarah is not my name.

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27. Science Isn’t Real!

Ex-bf refused to believe in evolution, even though he didn't know what carbon dating was at all. He instead believed that God put dinosaur bones in the earth to confuse the evil non-believers. I noped the heck out of that relationship veryyyy quickly.

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26. That’s a Rough One

He had fairly severe aspergers :(

I feel terrible, because my father works with people with learning disabilities, and from that I've always made myself consider that these people are real people and I should respect that they have certain difficulties with social situations that I take for granted.

Despite that, I know deep down that I communicate with body language, facial expressions, and tones of voice. I can't be with someone who completely doesn't understand me. I also can't be with someone who I can't truly understand, either.

It makes me feel terrible, but I'd rather that than be in a relationship I didn't want.

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25. Plays Sweet Home Alabama

Insulted Southern accents. I slip in and out of mine (it's much lighter with strangers and in academic settings like at college), so it's actually normal for people to suddenly realize that my accent is Mississippi-strong.

I don't have much tolerance for South-bashing generally because I live in the South and it just seems pointlessly negative (oh wow you hate the city too, go figure, you wild radical, so edgy). But the accent thing is a deal breaker.

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24. Physical Attributes

These are all separate guys:

  1. He had better eyelashes than me. It kind of creeped me out.
  2. I've been with small-endowed guys before and I never had a problem until him. Worst intimacy ever, and then he was small on top of that.
  3. His feminine hips.
  4. Too short.

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23. He Just Liked the Sound of His Voice

This guy always said the name of the city and the state, even in our home state or for "obvious" ones.

So I was in Miami, Florida...Have you ever been to Los Angeles, California? I had to drive through Chicago, Illinois.

Yeah dude, I know what those are. I wasn't confusing it for Miami, Kansas...

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22. Hot Dummies

He was really stupid, annoyingly so. Couldn't understand basic concepts within conversation. He was hot as heck and a really sweet guy, but even more so a complete idiot.

I felt bad mostly because it seemed like his lack of intelligence was due to genetics and not due to lack of trying.

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21. Make a Dang Decision Already

He would always ask what I want to do (lunch, hang out, etc.) and never wanted to decide. I'm not fussed, I just want to eat...so pick a place to eat already!

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20. Come to the Table Fully Realized

As a lesbian, if your appearance gives any hint of you being a baby-lebsian, then I won't date you.

For reference, a baby-lesbian is a young lesbian who is just coming out and is probably going through a weird transitional stage in their appearance and mannerisms to adjust to being gay. Examples are: wearing a beanie, having an awful haircut just because you think it makes you look gay, anything on your person that is rainbow (the exception being for femmes who want to do something subtle so other lesbians/queers will know they're gay), constantly talking about things you read about in autostraddle, etc.

Being gay and discovering yourself is totally fine—just call me when you're able to crank it back down from an 11 to maybe like a 7, ok?

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19. Well, Hindsight and What Have You

In fifth grade I broke up with my first boyfriend because he had armpit hair and none of the other fifth grade boys had it.

He's Spanish and like six-foot-five gorgeous as heck and a pilot now, so...that was my bad. Hahaha.

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18. It’s Important to Try

In his OKCupid profile, he had filled out the "You should message me if..." section with something like "If you don't mind that I don't have a car."

Granted, it was the cherry on top of a completely unlikable profile that pointed to him being lazy, but as I closed the window, I thought, "Yes, yes I do mind."

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17. Honestly? This Sounds Awesome

This was in high school. He was a sweet guy, we made a date to go to see Lord of the Rings. He wrote me a love letter in Elvish. The love letter was creepy in and of itself, but the Elvish was just nope.

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16. Too Much Emotion

A guy I was dating wore flip flops with jeans one time and I was done.

Also, one time I accidentally elbowed my ex in the mouth and he started CRYING hysterically because he thought I chipped his tooth (which I didn't...and he continued to cry even after he knew that). Couldn't deal with him after seeing that.

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15. Nobody Understands Me!

I thought his taste in movies sucked. We'd see a movie, and I would be like what a piece of trash, waste of time! And he'd be like, "I loveeeedd it!!!!" Bye.

Relatedly, I said that I loved Fight Club and made him watch it, afterwards he was like, "Meh I don't really get it, you just like it for Brad's body." I thought to myself, you don't get me at all!

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14. That’s Actually Insane

Dude here. Once in college, a girl rejected me once she found out that I really enjoy cooking. Said it was kinda feminine and that she wasn't into "that."

It's funny...I worked out, was on teams, and I'm not very talkative, but the cooking threw her off.

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13. Ignorance Is Stupidity

He didn't care for politics at all. And I really mean at all. He had no idea which political parties are conservative and which are liberal—he didn't even know who the prime minister at the time was, or which party he belonged to! I'm not politically active per se but I love to discuss and exchange political opinions.

Example: His best friend, my bf-at-the-time, and I would hang out. His best friend easily engages in political talk and knows a lot. He and I would often end up talking politics (because that's a rather common subject to discuss in general), to which my bf had nothing to say, obviously. So he'd just lay down, head on my thigh, and take a nap. And later he'd complain about us talking about things "he didn't understand." WHAT?

Though I don't expect everyone else to be like me, I think there is a certain level of "I don't care" you have to be above.

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12. High Standards, or Basic Standards?

I reject about 90% of the men who express interest because they're not smart enough in the book way. And anyone of any gender who doesn't identify as a feminist is an automatic "no," and even if they do, I still might reject them if they're too wishy washy or un-critical about it. And politically, if you're not a leftist I'll give you a couple chances, but it'll still probably be a no. I feel bad, but like, not that bad.

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11. What if He’s Right, Though?

He legit believed there was scientific evidence to prove the existence of the Loch Ness monster, Bigfoot, etc. I mean, those are fun to think about and if that's your quirky hobby that's cool, but thinking there is actual science that confirms their existence just makes me wonder what other flavors of pseudoscience he'd fall for. But it sounds shallow to say, "I rejected him for believing in Bigfoot." There were other things, though, too.

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10. Gotta Shift Those Gears, Boys

I've rejected a few guys because they couldn't drive a manual and had no desire to learn.

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9. Someone Has Watched Hair One Too Many Times

Lack of long metal hair. I know it's dumb, but I just find long hair so incredibly hot. If my guy doesn't have it, I think my eyes would wander too much, and I'm not the kind of person to feel okay with that.

I also auto-reject any guy who spells words like "you" and "are" as "u" and "r" when he types.

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8. Being Considerate Is Always in Fashion

Is not being punctual for an initial date shallow? I’ll keep this generalized in case he sees this. I waited about 15 minutes after our arranged meet-up time. I found out later that he was late because he woke up late due to having gone clubbing/dancing the night before.

It bothered me that he didn't give me a head's up, and while it was a casual date, I just thought it was inconsiderate. He's a good person, but it just left a bad impression. I learned I won't wait that long for a date. I've since learned that, unfortunately, it's not an uncommon thing to happen.

I've also completely skipped over guys whose profiles show the following errors: your vs. you're, their vs. they're vs. there, than vs. then, would've vs. would of, should've vs. should of, to vs. too vs. two, etc. They're my personal pet peeves in general and when I see people making those mistakes, I don't call them out but I do stop reading the rest of the comment.

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7. I Drive an Acura, What’s That Mean?

With one guy, there wasn't any chemistry there, so I would have not gone on a second date anyways, but he also had one annoying habit that added to my decision. Whenever he would tell a story or mention anyone, he would also include what kind of car they drove and a fact about that car.

Like when talking about what he'd done the weekend before: "oh, I went to the little festival with my friend Carl, he drives a '96 Ford Taurus that I helped him switch out the passenger side door with one from the junkyard, so it's a color, and we saw a cool band play. While we were there, we ran into another friend Amy, she drives an '06 Civic that gets great gas mileage, and she introduced us to her new boyfriend Ray, who I think I saw get into a F150, but I couldn't tell what year it was, but probably newer than '06 because it had the newer hood design. He seemed like a cool guy."

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6. Imagine Reading This About Yourself

Let me tell you the story of the saddest man I ever dated.

He was nice enough, not really intimidating, average. Really average. He was the sort of guy you wouldn't look twice at if you entered a room, he just blended into the shadows.

The first shallow reason I had for thinking we should break up was the fact he didn't like to read (I later found out he couldn't read). But perhaps the worst reason was his fear of female anatomy.

The first time we slept together, he told me, "I've never gone down on a woman before, too much is down there and it confuses me." When I told him I could teach him he just said "no, I'm scared."

We were intimate a couple more times, but the break up was instigated by the fact that after one night this painfully boring, uninteresting, stupid man burst into tears and said "I just want to be famous, or on TV!"

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5. And Regrets, I’ve Had a Few...

Mine is not that funny and it's actually something that I regret.

He was a really great, nice guy. I was attracted to him, he was different, he was so thoughtful and intelligent. We had a great time together. But I couldn't get serious with him because he was 19 and I was 23. I just couldn't get past it, and I was a bit of a jerk to him.

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4. Yeah, That Would Be Uncomfortable

He is in a wheelchair.

It never would have worked, regardless. He was very immature in general and there was zero chemistry between us. But I still dumped a guy in a wheelchair.

I doubt I'll ever not feel like a horrible person because of it.

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3. Eww Gross, Not OK

My stomach growled and he pointed to his crotch and said "oh, are you hungry?" I had just met him. I walked away very quickly.

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2. What About Across the Forearms

He had his own name tattooed across his chest.

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1. Insert Creepy Clown Laugh

I rejected a guy I had met because of his laugh. We had so much in common, from the programs we were taking in school to the genre of movies/books/music we liked. But every time he laughed, I wanted to hide myself from the public area we were in. It was so LOUD and obnoxious that it just turned me off completely. I stuck through the night, kept enforcing that I pay my own tabs, and went for a handshake when I left...he did attempt contacting me, but I never responded. Years later and that laugh STILL haunts me.

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