Do I Really Still Have To Keep Paying?
Everyone thinks that alimony automatically ends when an ex remarries. And usually that is the case...but the truth is that it’s not always that simple. Laws, court orders, and contract language can all play a role. Here’s why your obligation might not disappear even after your ex says “I do” again.
The General Rule: Alimony Ends When the Recipient Remarries
In most states, spousal support ends when the recipient remarries (also, notice we said "most"). The idea is that the new marriage provides financial support, making continued payments unnecessary. But there are several exceptions—some legal, others contractual—that can override this default rule.
Exception 1: The Divorce Agreement Says Otherwise
Your divorce decree or settlement agreement can override the default rule in your state. If it specifically indicated that payments continue after remarriage, that clause can be legally binding. Courts will typically uphold signed agreements between ex-spouses—even when they go beyond the actual state law. So, check your divorce agreement.
Exception 2: It’s a Lump-Sum or “Alimony in Gross”
If your alimony is a fixed total amount—called “alimony in gross” or a lump-sum award—it usually doesn’t end upon remarriage. You see, these payments are treated like property settlements, not ongoing support, which means you’re still responsible for the full balance regardless of her new marital status.
Exception 3: It’s a Private Contract, Not a Court Order
Some couples agree to spousal support privately rather than through the court. Those arrangements are enforceable contracts. And unless the agreement specifically says remarriage ends the obligation, then you're out of luck and the payments will continue under standard contract law.
Exception 4: Cohabitation Isn’t the Same as Marriage
You might think your ex just living with a new partner ends your obligation—but it depends on where you live. Some states only terminate support upon legal remarriage, not cohabitation. Others allow you to ask the court for modification if cohabitation is proven.
Proving Cohabitation Can Be Complicated
Even in states that allow alimony termination for cohabitation, proving it can be tricky. Courts look for signs of a shared household, combined finances, or long-term romantic relationship. Without clear proof, the obligation often continues.
Exception 5: State Laws Differ Dramatically
Every state handles alimony differently. In California and Florida, it typically ends automatically upon remarriage. But in New York or New Jersey, a court order—or even specific language in the decree—may be required before payments officially stop.
Examples of How States Handle It
For instance, California automatically ends alimony upon remarriage. Florida does too, but allows modification if the ex is just cohabiting. New York requires a formal motion, while Texas and New Jersey have unique exceptions written into their statutes.
Exception 6: The Court Retained Jurisdiction
If the divorce court kept jurisdiction over your case, you can’t stop paying until you file a motion and the judge approves it. Even if your ex remarries, alimony technically continues until the court formally modifies or terminates the order.
Exception 7: Delayed or Transitional Alimony Clauses
Some agreements include “transitional” or delayed termination clauses, allowing payments to continue briefly after remarriage. These are designed to give the recipient financial breathing room and are legally binding if clearly stated in the decree.
Photo By: Kaboompics.com, Pexels
Exception 8: You Still Owe Back Payments
Even if remarriage ends future alimony, you’re still responsible for any unpaid amounts from before that date. Courts enforce arrears like any other debt, meaning those missed payments won’t vanish just because your ex has a new spouse.
Exception 9: Annulled or Void Marriages
If your ex’s new marriage is annulled—legally declared invalid—some courts can reinstate alimony. Since annulled marriages are treated as though they never happened, your obligation could technically return depending on state law and court orders.
Exception 10: It’s Rehabilitative or Temporary Alimony
Some support is meant to help an ex-spouse get back on their feet—like rehabilitative or transitional alimony. These often continue for a set period regardless of remarriage unless the decree specifically states otherwise. Always check your agreement’s wording.
Why You Got That Letter from Her Attorney
That letter likely points to specific wording in your divorce decree or your state’s laws. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re right—but it means you need to have your own lawyer review everything before assuming your payments should stop.
What To Do If You Think It’s Wrong
Don’t just stop paying—that can trigger contempt of court or wage garnishment. Instead, file a motion to terminate or modify alimony with the court. Once the remarriage is proven, a judge can officially end your obligation.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Many people stop payments too soon or fail to document proof of remarriage. Others ignore court notices or miss filing deadlines. These small missteps can lead to fines, garnished wages, or contempt orders. Always handle changes through the court.
Gather These Key Documents
Collect your divorce decree, settlement agreement, and proof of remarriage (such as a marriage certificate). These are crucial for your attorney to determine whether the alimony truly continues or should legally be terminated.
Consult a Family Law Attorney
A qualified family law attorney can review your case, interpret state laws, and file the right paperwork to protect you. Getting professional advice early can prevent costly mistakes—and may even stop those payments sooner than you think.
When Courts Might Still Side with You
If your decree doesn’t mention remarriage and your state law says alimony ends automatically, the court will likely rule in your favor. But you still need a formal order to stop payments legally—be aware that letters or assumptions aren’t enough.
When Courts Might Side with Your Ex
If your agreement explicitly says alimony continues after remarriage, or if it’s structured as lump-sum or contractual support, you could still be obligated. Courts tend to enforce clear agreements—even if they now seem unfair.
It’s All in the Fine Print
In the end, it really comes down to the exact language in your divorce paperwork and how it interacts with your state’s laws. Just a few words—like “regardless of remarriage”—can completely change the outcome of your case.
The Bottom Line is...
Alimony usually ends when your ex remarries, but exceptions can keep you paying longer than you might've expected. Review your decree carefully, understand your state’s rules, and consult your own attorney before making assumptions about what your financial obligations are or aren't.
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