My ex-girlfriend is demanding half the equity in our house. Her name is on the deed and she wants me to sell or refinance to pay her share. Now what?

My ex-girlfriend is demanding half the equity in our house. Her name is on the deed and she wants me to sell or refinance to pay her share. Now what?


October 14, 2025 | Marlon Wright

My ex-girlfriend is demanding half the equity in our house. Her name is on the deed and she wants me to sell or refinance to pay her share. Now what?


You’re Facing A Legal And Financial Tangle

You and your ex bought a home together, but now that the relationship is over, she’s demanding half the equity. Her name is on the deed as part owner of the home, and she’s insisting you sell or refinance to buy her out. You want to keep the home, but you’re unsure what rights she has or what steps to take next.

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Understand What Being On The Deed Means

If your ex’s name is on the deed, she’s legal co-owner of the property. That means she has a right to her own share of the equity, regardless of whether she helped with payments. Ownership rights are determined by title, not emotional or financial fairness.

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Check How The Title Is Held

Find out first whether the title lists you as joint tenants or tenants in common. Joint tenancy usually means equal ownership, while tenants in common can specify different shares. Your rights and obligations depend heavily on this important legal classification.

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Separate Deed Ownership From Loan Liability

Even if your ex isn’t on the mortgage, her name on the deed gives her ownership rights. On the other hand, if she’s on the loan but not the deed, she’s financially liable but not an owner. Keeping this distinction clear helps you plan your next step.

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Get A Professional Appraisal

Before you start negotiating anything, get an independent appraisal of the home’s current value. Knowing the market value and the mortgage balance still outstanding will clarify how much equity exists and what her half would reasonably be worth.

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Calculate The True Equity

Once the appraisal has been done, subtract the mortgage balance and any other property liens from the appraised value. The figure that remains is the home’s equity. If she’s entitled to 50%, unless there’s a prior agreement you haven’t told us about that says otherwise, that amount would be split right down the middle.

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Consider A Buyout Via Refinance

If you want to keep the house, refinancing may be an option. You could take out a new mortgage solely in your name, pay off the old one, and use part of the proceeds to pay her share. But you have to make sure you can afford the new payments first.

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Watch Out For Closing Costs And Fees

A refinance to buy out your ex isn’t free. Closing costs, appraisal fees, and potential higher rates could make serious inroads into your savings. Run the numbers before you haphazardly agree to any buyout so you don’t end up in a worse financial situation.

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Check If A Sale Is The Only Option

If refinancing isn’t feasible, selling the home and splitting the proceeds may be your only practical route. It may be emotionally difficult, but it can be the cleanest way to separate finances and rid yourself of the situation once and for all.

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Review Any Written Agreements

If you and your ex signed a cohabitation agreement, joint ownership contract, or any other legal document when you bought the house, the terms of any one of those could override the default ownership laws. Always review everything you have in writing before you initiate hardball negotiations.

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Consult A Real Estate Attorney

This is much more than a breakup; it’s really a property dispute. A real estate attorney can clarify your state’s co-ownership laws, draft acceptable settlement terms, and protect your interests. Going it alone in a situation like this can lead to costly mistakes.

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Document All Financial Contributions

If you made the majority of mortgage payments, covered repairs, or invested in renovations, gather together all the proof you have. This means documentation; bank statements, receipts, and contracts can strengthen your case for a larger equity share during negotiations or mediation.

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Look At Mediation Before Litigation

Court battles are expensive, tedious, and stressful. Mediation offers a neutral forum to reach a fair agreement, possibly avoiding the cost and hostility of a lawsuit. Many states even require mediation before co-owner partition lawsuits.

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You Can’t Ignore Her Legal Rights

Even if you feel wronged, refusing to engage won’t make the issue disappear. She can file a partition action to force a sale through the courts. Taking the initiative to negotiate is often cheaper and faster than being the target of a lawsuit.

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Plan For Tax Implications

Selling your home could also trigger capital gains taxes, depending on your profits and how long you’ve lived there. A tax professional can help you understand exemptions, your reporting requirements, and how to minimize these liabilities.

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Protect Your Credit And Future Borrowing

If your ex stops contributing and you’re still sharing the mortgage, missed payments can damage both your credit scores. Settle your joint debts promptly either through refinance, sale, or formal agreements to prevent lasting harm.

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Consider The Emotional Costs Too

Holding on to a home tied to a failed relationship can be an emotional deadweight on your mind. Sometimes selling and starting anew offers not only financial relief, but peace of mind. Don’t let misplaced sentiments trap you in a costly stalemate.

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Learn From The Experience

Next time you co-buy property, think hard about the written agreements outlining what happens if things fall apart. A co-ownership agreement or domestic partnership contract thought out well in advance can prevent similar chaos in the future.

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Take Action Before Things Escalate

Putting things off won’t make the problem go away. Start gathering documents together, seeking professional advice, and reviewing all your options now. The sooner you put your strategy into action, the more control you’ll have over the outcome.

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Final Thoughts

This isn’t just a breakup; it’s a property negotiation with legal and financial ramifications. Know your rights, get sound advice, and pursue a solution that protects your credit, equity, and peace of mind. You’ll be back on your feet in no time.

Mikhail NilovMikhail Nilov, Pexels

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