Get A Clue: These “No Duh” Moments Prove Ignorance Is Not Bliss
Some people just aren’t the brightest bulbs in the drawer or the sharpest tools in the shed. Coming into contact with a clueless person can range from incredibly frustrating to absolutely hilarious, and no one knows that better than these Redditors who witnessed stupidity so intense, they had to wonder “how the heck didn’t they know that?”
1. Drumstick Dummy
This one blew my mind. My housemate, a 24-year-old post-grad student, did not realize that: 1. You needed to preheat an oven. 2. You needed to defrost frozen meat before cooking it. 3. You need to use a baking tray. I learned this one day after I caught her lining the bottom of our oven with frozen chicken drumsticks.
2. Baby Talk Spanish
A very pregnant checkout girl once heard me and my mom talking to each other in Spanish and asked us if it was hard to learn. Woof, this led to quite the conversation. Apparently, the baby’s father was from South America and, since he had gone home for good, she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to understand the baby.
After an awkward pause, my mom and I explained to her how the baby will speak in English because that’s what she speaks and it will learn it from her. She didn’t seem relieved, so I fear she might have not believed us.
3. Al Dente Massimo
I have many great stories about my former college roommate, but my favorite story is the pasta story. She wanted to make pasta. She put a pot on the stove and poured the noodles in, with no water in the pot, and turned on the stove. After a while, she asked me, “How come these aren’t getting soft like when my mom makes them?”
4. The True Villains to Adulting
My friend who was pushing 40 had literally never paid a bill before. She had gone from living with her parents, to living in a dorm, to living with her parents again until she got married. Then she got divorced and was living on her own for the first time. I got a text from her asking if my power was out too…then she realized it was just her. Her reasoning stunned me.
Her excuse was she never paid attention to the bills because she thought they were “receipts” and that the cost was included in her rent. Her water was cut off a couple of weeks later, and we had to talk about that, too.
5. Making the Bed
I had spent the night at my ex-boyfriend’s place and stayed a bit longer in the morning to help clean the house. I was folding some clothes when I noticed him go from one side of the unmade bed to another without actually doing anything. I looked at him and he looked clueless. He said, “Can you please make the bed? I’ve never done this, no idea where to start.”
I didn’t mean to have a strong reaction to it, but man did it leave me speechless…He was 26 at the time. That day, I realized his mother often visited his house to make the bed and clean… Yeah…
6. And That’s the Tea
I asked my husband to make some herbal tea for me the first year we were married. I walked into the kitchen to find him standing over the stove with a mug of water sitting directly on the burner. Poor baby.
7. Model Citizen
I was tending bar in LA when one of the cocktail waitresses, an LA model-type asked me to burp her—like a baby. I’m certain she wasn’t flirting since she was waaaaay out of my league, but I’m convinced she was just desperate for attention. She told me she never learned how to burp, like that was a normal thing to not know.
She must have read the revulsion on my face, because as she turned to leave, she let out this deep belly burp that filled the bar. She turned beet red as I called out “You’re welcome.”
8. Time to Go
My friend constantly asked what time it was, so by the sixth time I said “Bro, there is a clock right there.” He was a grown man, yet he replied, “I don’t know how to read it.” Except that’s not even the dumb part. A couple of weeks later, he posted something on Facebook making fun of people who couldn’t read cursive. So I came up with a devastating comeback.
I posted a picture of a clock and said, “What time does this say?” He blocked me. It was worth it.
9. She’s Come Undone
I had a roommate in university whose “cooking” method was to put baked beans in a Tupperware, seal the lid, turn on the microwave, and when the lid pops and explodes beans everywhere…they’re cooked. One time, I came home to find the oven on and billowing a bit. I opened the door to find what was an entire lasagna bubbling on the bottom of the oven.
He bought himself a frozen lasagna: Step 1, “remove outer packaging,” Step 2, “place on middle tray of preheated oven.” He literally thought that “outer packaging” was anything outside the lasagna, so he tore away that shell that the lasagna cooks in and placed it straight on the rack, so as it defrosted, it just fell through the rack and all over the oven. Genius.
10. Cracked in the Head
A 19-year-old dude asked me: “How do you cook a fried egg?” I gave him instructions and left him to it. Came back a while later to ask how it went. “Fine in the end, but it took a few attempts because the yolk kept breaking.” I stared at him blankly. “What do you mean kept breaking?” “Well I kept throwing them away because I thought breaking the yolk made it poisonous.”
11. Biting off More Than He Can Digest
I was dating a 19-year-old guy. I explained that eating raw nuts is healthy, so he bought a bag of peanuts. He complained two days later that he was going to stop eating them because they upset his stomach, so I got a free bag of peanuts, yay! He was stunned when he saw me shelling them and eating the nut. Because he was eating them shell and all. For two days. Surprisingly, that relationship did not end well.
12. The Inept Ex
My ex didn’t know how to hold a fork properly. All utensils were used by grasping it in a fist. He also didn’t know how to open up baby wipes. He tore open the bag, even though it has a lid, so they don’t dry out. He ignored the lid. Didn’t know how to merge or change lanes. Didn’t know to rinse vegetables or fruits before eating.
13. Slip and Slide
My roommate in college was 22, and he had lived in an apartment for three years prior to moving in together. He legitimately did not know how to remove a trash bag from a trash can, had never turned on an oven before, and, my favorite, complained one day that their bathroom was always sopping wet every time they showered. I finally realized that he never put up a shower curtain!
14. Substitute Ingredient
My ex and I were cooking together. One of the pans got too hot, and we had a minor grease fire. She grabbed a bag of flour. As tempted as I was to slap it out of her hands, I didn’t want to aerate a bunch of flour next to a grease fire, so I grabbed it with both hands and forced it over to the countertop, and then dropped the lid on the pan.
I asked her what her logic was, and she said “Well, you’re supposed to put baking soda on a grease fire and not water, right?” “Yes. Why did you try to use flour?” “What’s the difference? They’re both white powder.”
15. Because You’re Hot Then You’re Cold
Our kitchen sink has one tap, two knobs for hot and cold. I walked into the kitchen, and my partner kept switching between hot and cold. I asked him why. His reply was so stupid I was speechless. “Well the hot gets too hot, so I run the cold instead for a bit.” He literally didn’t know you could run both the hot and cold water at the same time.
16. Spoiling for Oil
My dad is a mechanic, so I’ve been very lucky to have the importance of vehicle maintenance drilled into my head from a young age. When my now fiancée and I were dating for about 6 months, I needed to change the oil in my car, so I asked when the last time she had changed her oil. She had never changed it, even after owning the car for three years.
17. Alarm Bells Are Ringing
My first year at university, a girl in my dormitory was microwaving some food and left it in the metal foil container…yep, massive fire. It took three fire engines to put out the blaze, and we had to have a new kitchen installed. Not to mention, this was at like 3:00 AM and I had an exam the next day. I was not impressed.
18. Gobble, Gobble
When I took a food-safe course, someone asked if they could wash a turkey with dish soap. He failed the course.
19. Lather, Don’t Rinse, Repeat
I once had my ex’s parents coming over and needed some help cleaning the house up to get ready for their arrival. I asked my ex to clean the bathroom for me while I cleaned the kitchen, and left him to it. I went in about a half an hour later and the bathroom was somehow dirtier, but the ex was sitting on the couch chilling.
When I asked him why he hadn’t cleaned the bathroom, he looked at me all confused and said he had. I asked him to come in and pointed out all the soap scum everywhere and how it was clearly not clean. He reiterated that he’d cleaned it. I asked him to show me how. His demonstration still haunts me to this day.
He proceeded to pick up a bar of soap, lather up his hands real good, and just…rub everything. He didn’t even rinse it after. Just rubbed everything with soapy hands. And couldn’t understand why I was staring at him open-mouthed.
20. The Difficulties of Homeownership
When my friend bought a house, a month into homeownership she called me up and asked, very angry with steam pouring out of her ears, when the city was coming to cut her lawn because it was starting to look like weeds. It was an awkward experience; I had to explain that she needs to cut her own lawn or hire someone.
21. If the Shirt Fits
I guess we were still in high school, but we were 18. My buddy Ferris and I were just getting into going to the gym. We went with Ferris’s friend Tom. After working out, in the changing room during some small talk I saw Tom putting on a shirt. Tom put the shirt over his head, but didn’t put his arms through the sleeves. Weird.
He managed to pull the shirt over his torso so that it was adequately on before wiggling all about and bending his arms in odd ways to get them into the sleeves. I didn’t take much notice of it the first few times, but after a few months it was apparent he did this every single time. Tom literally didn’t know how to put on a shirt. At least efficiently.
Eventually, we asked Tom why he put his shirt on like that, and he said something along the lines of, “Wait what, don’t I do it the same way you guys do?” I guess he had never really thought about it before then.
22. Take Her to the Cleaners
My ex-best friend told me that she needed to buy another new vacuum cleaner. It was her third one that month. I asked her what was wrong with it and she said, “It’s not picking things up anymore!” So I asked her if she had dumped out and cleaned the container…to which she responded that she didn’t know that was a thing.
23. Who Said Tying Your Shoes Was Easy?
I was a drill sergeant in the US Army. The worst one was the 24-year-old male who didn’t know how to tie his boots. He had gotten through reception and pick up day by tightly lacing his boots and tucking the laces in. As they would loosen up throughout the day, he would just pull them tight again, but never actually tie them.
The first Sunday I noticed his boots were barely staying on as he was marching back from dinner. I asked him what was wrong with them, as it’s common for privates to have the wrong size boots when they get to us. Nope, he just didn’t know how to tie them. At all. Not a single knot. I spent an hour showing him how I tie my boots.
24. A Different Kettle of Fish
Years ago, I bought a friend an electric kettle as a gift. Her boyfriend came home one night to find her running out the front door of their apartment with the flaming kettle, and she threw it into the street. She was screaming about how it was a piece of junk because when she put it on the stove, over a flame, it caught fire and started to melt.
He was laughing uncontrollably when he asked, “What did you think the cord was for?” They broke up soon after.
25. Ahem, Grow up
I worked with a woman who forgot how to cough. She was in her 30s and rarely got sick, and when she came down with a bad cold one winter, she just kept making these pathetic little squeaking sounds. I tried to help, but it’s difficult to explain a natural reflex to someone. I hope she got better eventually.
26. Sheet Smarts
Three months into our freshman year of college, a friend of mine developed a rash. I suggested he look into hypoallergenic sheets and swap out his others. His response made everything terrifyingly clear. “I’ve used the same sheets without cleaning them since we moved in, it’s not the sheets.” Uh, sure buddy, sure.
27. A Sense of Direction
A person in my office building was standing at the door asking everyone coming and going if they’d seen a GPS unit in the parking lot as they’d lost it bringing it in. They were sobbing, so I figured it must be an expensive model. I helped them look around under cars to see if we could find it, and we talked as we searched for it.
Turns out, they weren’t crying over the price of losing it. They were crying because they didn’t know how they’d get home that night without it. Couldn’t drive home from their job they’d worked at for months with a GPS telling them how.
28. No Shortcuts Allowed
I was out with a friend doing some shopping in a part of a city we’d never been to before. We were in the parking lot of store A and wanted to get to store B, which we could see but there wasn’t a connected road between the two. My friend punches in the store on their iPhone to get directions and it somehow gives a 30-minute route that includes two toll roads.
I thought there was no way it should take that much driving to get there, so I looked at Google Maps and saw we could drive it in about three minutes. My friend? Said no. He simply couldn’t look at the map and then translate it to the real world. He ended up taking the 30 minutes route and paying the tolls because he didn’t trust the map.
29. Frankenstein Battery
I had to jump a friend’s car when it wouldn’t start. It had a hard time, but I finally got it running. She immediately turns off the car and says, “Thanks so much, I’ll call you later!”
30. Are You Chicken?
There was one girl living in my university dorm who always bought chicken and kept it in the cupboard, despite being told by pretty much everyone else in the apartment that it was meant to go in the fridge or freezer. She flat out refused to listen, and she kept putting the chicken in the cupboard. I don’t know how she didn’t get sick.
31. You Say Potato, I Say…
I had a roommate who didn’t eat potato for almost a year. Why? He didn’t know how to peel them and didn’t want to try, even though we all tried to teach him. He only started eating them when he realized he could buy them pre-prepared.
32. It’s Been a Privilege
In college, I had a friend named Mally. She was a couple of years younger than the rest of the people in our group and still lived at home with her parents. They had very strict cultural beliefs about how an unmarried woman should not live away from home. Still, her dad was a doctor and also had family money, so they were quite wealthy for our area.
The sort of wealthy where for her 16th birthday, they bought her a Porsche, and when they didn’t think she thanked them adequately for it, they returned it. Anyway, I remember when the group of us were at some of the guys’ on-campus apartment, their toilet clogged. Mally, without really blinking, said we should call our plumber to get it fixed.
Of course, the guys were like “Uh, no? It’s just clogged. Why would we call a plumber?” to which Mally, who was very confused, replied, “Because that’s what plumbers do? Why would you do it yourself?” So we then explained first, how expensive plumbers are, and second, how the average person does not call a plumber for a slightly clogged toilet. But it took an even more ridiculous turn.
Mally was confused and then asked, “Well, what do you do when a light bulb burns out? Change it yourself?” and obviously, we were all nodding and saying “Yeah, absolutely.” So that was when we discovered just how sheltered and out of touch Mally was with how normal people do things. We specifically learned that she didn’t know how to change a light bulb. Or anything, really.
By anything I mean: change a light bulb, plunge a toilet, cook anything, put gas in her car. All because either their maids did it for her or her dad did. It blew her mind when we explained that those are very normal things to know how to do. Eventually, we ended up showing her how to do all those things for herself.
33. Take This Sitting Down
My girlfriend’s grandfather had started to be, let’s say “less accurate when peeing” standing and leaving a mess in the washroom. I suggested that there’s nothing wrong with sitting down for peeing and that would make life easier for everybody. All her family stared at me in shock. That’s when I learned my girlfriend and her family didn’t know that males can pee while sitting.
Everybody in that family thought that as a male, the only physical way to pee is standing. I was almost asked to demonstrate in front of them that it was possible.
34. Catching the Red-Eye
For as long as I can remember, my father had red eyes after showering. I didn’t even think about it. Then one day as a teenager, a friend slept over and in the morning she saw my dad dressed and ready for work, freshly showered and red-eyed. Timidly, she approached and asked him why his eyes were red. His answer made me look at him completely differently.
He simply said “shampoo.” She then, very carefully and as respectfully as she could muster, asked him why he didn’t close his eyes when he shampooed. He laughed and said “What do you think, I’m an idiot? Closing my eyes in the shower! Sheesh!” My dad did a lot of things that embarrassed me…But that one was prettttty high up there.
35. It’s a New Day
I work the graveyard shift, and I had to explain to a coworker that midnight is the start of a new day. She then had an anxiety attack because I was telling her that, “Today is not Monday anymore, today is Tuesday now.”
36. School’s out
I had a relative try to put her son on the school bus his first day of kindergarten and got upset when the driver refused to let him on because he wasn’t on the list. That’s when she got a nasty surprise. She didn’t know you needed to register your child for school, and just thought she could put him on the bus and send him.
37. An Ocean Away
I was dating a 32-year-old, and he asked me if I wanted to get together to watch a TV show. I said, “Sure, what time is it on?” He looks it up and says to me “8:00 Pacific, 9:00 Central…?” in a very unsure voice. I asked what was confusing him, and he told me he wasn’t sure if the show was on at 8 or 9. My man did not know what timezone we lived in.
So I was like, “Ok, well you know what ocean we’re near, right?” because I was trying to get him to think about the Pacific time zone in terms of the giant body of water for which it was named, and he immediately got defensive and for real said, “Why would I know that? I’m from Texas.” He’d been living in San Francisco for five years and could see the Pacific Ocean out his window.
38. Quarterly Confusion
A girl I went to high school with asked me: “Why do people say a ‘quarter of an hour’? Like what does that even mean?”I responded by saying, “It’s 15 minutes. Because 15 is a fourth of 60, so that’s a quarter of an hour.” She looked at me like I’m an idiot for a while and then replied, “But a quarter is 25…” I didn’t know how to respond.
39. Show Me Your Teeth
I was out for a company lunch at a sports bar, and one of my co-workers discreetly told me that she had pulled pork stuck in her teeth. I always keep a thing of floss in my purse, so I offered to let her have it. She gratefully accepted and then asked, “How do I use it?” She had never flossed in her life! She hadn’t even had her teeth flossed at the dentist!
So I took this 40-year-old woman to the ladies’ room and taught her how to floss. The icing on the cake is that she’s English, so I teased her about perpetuating stereotypes. If you’re reading this, Viv, I love you!
40. That’s What Moms Are for
My cousin set me up with this girl. Things were actually alright, we connected via similar hobbies and interests, then about three weeks after we met, I ran over to her place for some reason and made a joke about how her laundry basket looked like it was about to explode. She just responds, “Oh my mom comes by on Tuesdays and does my laundry.”
Fast-forward a bit, and I learned that at 25 years old, she didn’t know how to do laundry, cook, clean, take out trash, how the dishwasher in her apartment worked, or actually pay her own bills. It was all taken care of by her parents. They would come by every couple of days and do some laundry, dishes, etc, and she would just occupy space in the area, I guess.
I did try to teach her some basic things, but it was a constant battle of “But my parents will do it for me” or “That’s what’s Uber Eats is for” or various replies like that. I eventually had enough of it, and told her I’m done unless she can learn to do everything her parents do for herself. My cousin didn’t believe me about these stories until his girlfriend went to the girl’s place to drop something off…and there was the girl’s mom doing laundry and making breakfast.
41. Troubleshooting Tea
Every few weeks, I catch my roommate trying to put his metal tea strainer in the microwave. This is in spite of the fact that our first week living in this apartment, he destroyed the microwave and had to pay for a new one because he put a metal tea strainer in the microwave. He never seemed to put two and two together.
42. Too Hot to Handle
One of my roommates in college would go through plastic spatulas like crazy. She’d melt them and wouldn’t say anything about it. She’d only tell me when I’d go to use it and wonder why it was messed up. She’d always say it was due to the spatula being made of cheap plastic. I didn’t believe her, but I didn’t know what she was doing. Then I finally caught her one day.
She’d be cooking something and would walk away…leaving the spatula in the pan while the burner was still on.
43. Now You’re Cooking With Gas
A girl I knew in college had her dad call to remind her that every so often she needed to put oil in her truck. She did. Then her truck started smelling like french fries, and then it broke down. Even after trying to explain it, she couldn’t understand that this was directly related to the quart of vegetable oil she put in the motor.
44. Ripe and Ready
My college roommate did not know how to wash his body. Yes. The SMELL. After a week, we threatened him. He took a “shower.” We sent him back again. With soap. Three days later, he stank again. We told him to shower every day. Then we taught him how to do laundry. He was a full genius dude, but had absolutely no idea how to care for himself.
45. That’s Not Right
My mother-in-law still doesn’t know the difference between right and left. When giving her directions, I have to say “like the hand you write with” if she needs to go right. She also doesn’t know the difference between north, south, east, and west, even though we live on an island where there are different elements (mountains and volcanoes) in each direction.
46. Choose Your Words
I used the word “pristine” when I was discussing backing up some files in an office meeting with my boss, as in, “the files will be in pristine condition.” My boss stopped the meeting. Got angry. He thought I was making the word up. Said he’d never heard of that word before, and told me not to use made-up words in a meeting or I’d be written up.
47. English, Eh?
I had to explain to a coworker that English is spoken in the majority of Canada. He had thought that French was the native language. Every time he talked to a Canadian, he informed them of the perfect English they spoke.
48. Galileo’s Fool
This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever had to explain to an adult. We worked nights, and on our lunch break, we were commenting on the stars and such, and this coworker was completely oblivious that the Earth revolved around the sun. “This whole time I thought the sun revolved around the earth!” She was close to 40 years old.
49. We’ve Got an Emergency
I work as an EMT for a private company, so we mostly deal with nursing homes and the elderly. One day when I was about 6-8 months in, I got assigned a partner who was in my orientation class. He was a little older than me at the time, like the mid 20s, but he seemed a little childish. “Maybe he’s just sheltered,” I think to myself. I was proven so, so wrong.
We got a patient I’ve had a few times before. She was a sweet, little old lady living at an assisted living center. The call was for pneumonia. She’s prone to this stuff so it wasn’t a huge deal, slap her on oxygen and keep her sitting up until we get to the hospital. The first red flag though, was that this kid I was working with didn’t know anything.
He didn’t know how to take blood pressure. He couldn’t find the medical history or medication on the paperwork, which is clearly labeled. He didn’t even push the stretcher, he just walked next to it with a hand on it. When I asked him about all that, he said “My partners usually do that for me.” So, I put her in an oxygen mask and sat her all the way up, mildly agitated.
I tell myself it’s just one shift with this kid. He’s in the back with her and I tell him to just switch the oxygen from the bag to the main tank because with the amount of oxygen we’re giving her, the bag will run out before we hit the hospital. It’s about a 25 minute drive. When we pull up to the hospital and I open the back doors, I’m shook.
She was pale, I can literally see her muscles moving as she’s struggling to breathe. And this kid was sitting behind her with a clueless half smile on his face. He looks at me and says, “The main tank is broken, so I left her on the bag.” This woman, who needs oxygen even without pneumonia, was barely breathing for at LEAST 15 minutes.
And this idiot didn’t even check. We take her into the hospital. I ask him to find an oxygen tank while explaining to this woman’s daughter what happened. He says he doesn’t know where to look. I found it and told him to talk to the daughter. When it’s all said and done, I check to see what’s “broken” on the tank. Guess what? He didn’t turn on the tank.
50. Preventative Medicine
I had a friend who took Mucinex A LOT. I’ve used it occasionally when I’ve been congested, but it seemed abnormal how often I saw him taking it. I finally asked him why he was taking it one time, because he didn’t seem sick at all, and he looked puzzled and said, “Well, I think I’m getting sick.” I pressed further, and he said “because it’s an expectorant.” It turns out he thought “You take an expectorant when you are EXPECTING to get sick.”
51. Making Your Own Money Luck
One of my old roommates was really bright academically, but he was terrible with money. Each semester he would start off with a pile of cash from his parents and proceed to blow through it in about two months. I first noticed it with his dining dollars on campus. Every day it seemed like he would buy the most expensive sushi option.
We’re talking maybe $18.00, which isn’t terrible if it’s once in a while, but this was every day. It’s also college dining hall sushi, so the quality was also just okay without even considering the money spent. Of course around midterms when his dining dollars would run out, and he’d sort of panic and whine that he couldn’t afford anything. That’s when I noticed something strange.
When he would start to run low, he’d sort of laugh about not knowing how to avoid going broke while continuing to buy only the most expensive option. But he’d also get really defensive when people wanted to talk to him about this. Eventually, when he moved off campus, it was the exact same thing, but even worse.
For the first two months, he’d feast. He’d get delivery constantly, ordering just way too much food, and of course he’d never share it. But then once he’d nearly run out of cash, he’d buy like an emergency 50-pack of hot dogs and only eat that for the rest of the semester, while telling everyone else that they were lucky they had money to spend.
52. Monster Mash
I asked my ex to mash some potatoes I’d boiled while I plated up dinner. He very literally did so, without draining out the water. Straight up just mashed the potatoes and water together and called it mashed potatoes. He didn’t think what he’d done was in any way wrong, despite the weird texture and look of the potatoes.
53. The Anti-Clean Freak
I had to ask my roommate to please wash his hands after touching raw chicken. He was cool to just…go about his day before I asked. He thought I was being a wacko neat freak. The same guy also thought his sheets wouldn’t fit in the washing machine, so he just…never washed them. He also said I had too many house rules.
This story is about me. I just moved into my first home in February of this year. I live alone and am single. Earlier this month, I mowed my lawn for the first time. I have never mowed a lawn before, but I’m thinking, how hard can it be? Prior to that, I had roped my brother into coming over and doing it for me, but this time I figured I need to actually learn.
The lawnmower is an old push mower of my dad’s that he had brought over about a month ago, and he quickly gave me the rundown on how to use it, but I was half paying attention, plus…it’s a lawnmower. So anyway, I go to start it up, and it takes me at least 10 tries of pulling the cord as hard as I can with no luck until finally it fires up.
I then proceed to begin mowing, and I KNOW this thing is self-propelling—it says so right on it, but I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why it’s so hard to push. The wheels aren’t locked or anything, so I just figure it’s a combination of me not having much upper body strength and my lawn having a lot of divots that prevented the mower from moving smoothly.
I finally finished, sweating like I had just finished seriously working out. Upon reflection, I’m still not convinced that the mower was self-propelling. So I’m sharing this story with friends and coworkers like “what did I do wrong,” and they’re all asking me about this lever, and I’m like yeah, obviously I had to hold the lever down or the motor kills.
Well, turns out there’s a SECOND lever that you have to squeeze in order to propel the lawnmower. I manually pushed that thing around my whole yard, divots, hills and all, and ended up with a blister on my thumb, and sweating profusely through my shirt. So, at the age of 32, I have finally learned to use a lawnmower.
55. Well, Hot Dog
One guy I knew decided to take a nap while cooking sausages for dinner. He just left them in the grill and only woke up when the fire alarms were going off and the whole building was being evacuated.
56. At Least She Greased
One time, my roommate decided to make brownies from a box. The box instructions say “grease the bottom of an 8×8 pan before pouring in the brownie batter.” I couldn’t believe what she did. She picked up the 8×8 pan, flipped it over, greased the BOTTOM of it, and then flipped it back over and poured in the brownie batter.
57. Momma’s Not Always Right
My friend in college once lamented, “Ugh. I have to pee and I just put a tampon in like five minutes ago.” I was confused, but Her next words made my jaw drop. “I hate having to pull them out dry. Also, it’s such a waste.” Yep, her mother taught her that there is only one hole down there and peeing with a tampon in is not possible.
58. Clean and Clear and Out of Control
In the late 90s, I had a co-worker who complained about her computer being slow. I took a look, and the hard drive was full. The largest folder was her recycle bin. She had never, ever emptied it in years of use. I emptied the recycle, cleared the Temp folder, and the PC started working fine. She was happy until…her big Excel tracking sheet was gone. Oh, No!
She did not know where it was on file explorer, so I asked her to show me how she opened it. She goes to the little storage container on her desktop, named…Recycle Bin. It was normally at the top, but now it’s gone. No backup. Oops…She cried to management that I “destroyed her computer.” The manager laughed when I told her the truth.
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