No bad move goes unnoticed, even though it might go unpunished. From random acts of meanness to petty revenges against innocent people, these Redditors saw the worst in their friends and acquaintances—and then didn’t hesitate to drag them for it. These total jerk moves will have you shaking your head.
I had a friend who was so anti-smoking that she'd go up to a smoker and say, "Hey, I'll show you a trick. Empty out all your cigarettes and give me the packet." They would of course oblige and hand her the empty packet, ready for a magic trick. She would then tear it up into little pieces and walk away. Jerk move, but smart.
In high school, we ditched class and were driving around town. My friend bought an orange slushy at the convenience store, but as we were driving away he decided he didn't really want to drink it. As we were driving past an old man strolling down the sidewalk, my friend leaned out of the window and chucked the bucket-sized, 98% full, slushy squarely at his head. The look on the old man's face will haunt me forever.
I had just gotten a brand-new Gameboy as a birthday gift when my cousin who was 5 years older grabbed it and smashed it to the floor. When I found out why he did it, my blood ran cold. Apparently, he thought it was a FREAKING CALCULATOR and said I didn’t really need it because I was “already good at math.” A jerk, and a dumb one at that.
I was in junior high when after class a slightly nerdy, very shy student lends one of the big, jerky jocks $5 for lunch, who promised him he will pay him back the next day. The next day arrives, and the student asks for his money back. He was relying on the money for lunch that day. The jock looks at him with a nasty look and then starts laughing.
He’s right in the shy student's face, saying he won't pay him back. He even had $5, but he just waved it in front of his face and continued laughing.
I worked as a pizza delivery driver when I was in high school and I went to this house with a huge order. The guy answered the door and was paying with a credit card. He filled out his portion of the slip and then looked me in the eyes and said, "I guess this is where I enter the amount for your tip." Then he drops it on the ground and slams the door in my face. No tip, and the biggest jerk move I've ever experienced.
Three days before a seven-week assessment was due, my design tutor told another student in my class that her work was terrible and that she had to start again. The girl had had the same design for five weeks, and the tutor could've told her at any point to restart, but chose to wait until it was too late. The girl burst out crying immediately.
I was in a youth hostel in Poland where two Norwegian guys had come in at about 5:00 am with a fast food order. They weren’t sober, and they were about to do something ridiculously stupid. Someone else was walking about in boxer shorts, so one of the guys just dropped his trousers, got undressed, and then went up to the young female receptionist.
He showed her his junk and then bizarrely stuck it in the burger he had and asked her if she wanted a bite. The burger had a load of chili sauce in it however, so moments later he was screaming in intense pain. For the remainder of his stay he was known by everyone else in the hostel as “Chili guy.” Serves that jerk right.
A very, very drunk woman in a black mini dress and high heels left the bar and was waiting for the valet to bring back her car. Then a homeless guy stopped and asked for any spare change she might have. Suddenly, she started yelling at him at the top of her lungs. "What?! You want MY money that I WORK HARD for?! You're probably just gonna go buy BOOZE with it!"
The guy just shambled off in shame. But that wasn’t even the worst part. Her boyfriend tried to tell her that maybe she had been just a tad harsh. She responded, absolutely serious, "Shut up. I probably just changed that guy's LIFE!"
I knew this acquaintance in high school, Bob. We are out at bar and closing the joint. The staff is making it clear that it’s time to pack up, so we make one final “cheers.” About 8 pint glasses are all in the air and touching when suddenly Bob slams his glass down on top of the rest, shattering them all and raining beer everywhere.
Then with a manic grin on his face, he sprints out. I despise Bob and tell all my friends how much I hate him constantly.
I recently went shopping for dorm stuff with my mom as I’d just graduated from high school. She had talked about helping me decorate my room. We went to the container store, and although I'm rather thrifty, my mother convinced me that I "needed" about $70 worth of stuff. I don't live with my mom and she hasn't put forth a penny for my education, so I figured this was my graduation present.
It wasn't. She waited until the cashier had scanned everything before saying, "You've got this, right?" and walking out of the store.
I was trying to pull into a parking spot and waiting for a lady to put her shopping cart away and close her door so I could get in. For some reason, she leaves the cart right in the center of the spot I was clearly trying to park in. I ask, "Mam, are you really going to leave your cart there?” Her response made my blood boil.
She just gives me a snide, “See where that cart is? That's where it's gonna stay unless you move it!" So I got out of my car and put the cart right behind her car just as she was trying to pull out.
We were packing up to move houses when I was a kid. Right in front of my eyes, my mom sells a box full of all my toys…for $7.00. Jerk move, mom.
I was about 10 years old and playing Street Fighter 2 at the laundromat around the corner from my house. These kids, who had to have been about 16 or 17 years old, come in and one of them puts in a quarter to play me. He picked Ken, and I was M. Bison. I was absolutely demolishing him…until his friends held me back and made me lose.
9-year-old me was at a baseball game when a foul ball came dribbling down the side of the field. As the batboy ran out to get it, I ran down the steps, waving my arms for the ball. He looked right at me, tossed it to me…and some jerk behind me stood up and snatched it right out of my hands, saying, "Sorry kid." But I got my revenge.
Right after, all three sections surrounding us started chanting "Jerk, Jerk, Jerk,” and he got booed out of the par. Plus, someone who caught a foul ball earlier came and gave me his, telling me who hit it and what inning and everything.
I was in 7th grade and had a yo-yo at school with me to mess around with. Stupid toy, but it was fun to play with, and several kids had them. The biggest aggressor in school comes up to me and says, "Hey, can I see that?" I know the guy, never had a problem with him, so I say "Sure." He takes it, does a couple yo-yo things, and then without a pause, turns around and walks away with it.
I didn't say anything, just stood there. Only time in my life as a kid that I was ever treated like that. I was a big kid, and it would've been stupid to pick a fight with me, so no one ever did—but this wasn't about that, this was social power, and I was helpless. Going after this guy would've been a bad idea, and I knew it.
I resented that—that feeling of powerlessness—and I kept it my whole life. That incident stayed with me, and grew. That kid went on to basically own my whole town, kind of like a villain in one of those stupid 80s movies. He owns everything around here, you can't spit without hitting something he owns. So I eventually had a run-in again with him, but it wasn’t what I was expecting.
I learned a few years ago that my sister and brother-in-law are friends with this guy. He came up in conversation, and I told her, "If I ever see him again, I am honestly going to punch him right in the face." I was totally serious. Not a good idea to punch the guy who owns your town, but the years of resentment had just built up to the point where I thought that would be a good solution to finally get those feelings resolved.
I went on to explain about the yo-yo, and how I still resented it after all these years. They thought I was a bit nuts, but that was the end of the conversation as far as I knew. Then, probably a month later, I'm talking to my sister again, and she pulls out this little package. When I opened it, my jaw dropped.
It's a new yo-yo, and there is a small card signed by the guy that just says sorry. My sister kind of snickers, and after I'm done picking my jaw up from the floor, I do a polite laugh and tell her "Ha ha, very funny." I am fully aware that it was done mostly as a joke, and they all laughed a bit at my expense over this, but when I got home, it really hit me hard. I cried.
Holding that yo-yo, everything just flew into perspective. How I had let that stupid incident stay with me, how I had let it make me feel powerless for all those years, how I had always regretted just standing there quietly and not speaking up...everything just instantly flew into proper perspective for the first time since I was a kid.
My buddy won a full-ride scholarship to the local university and was overjoyed because his family are working-class stiffs and just didn't have enough money to pay for college. All he needed were three recommendations saying that the scholarship was deserved. He got the first two no problem and decided to go to our Latin teacher for the final one.
Because he was a Latin tutor, she said she would be willing, though she had never really like our group. Every single day for two weeks, he asked her before class if she had signed the papers yet, and she always responded, "I will." Finally, the deadline to turn in the acceptance form was due and she still hadn't signed it.
He approached her as I was walking into class and asked her why she didn't sign it. Her reply was utterly chilling. Her response was, "I purposely didn't sign it because I didn't want you to get that scholarship." Goodbye 55,000 dollars. Hello crippling debt.
My parents are Buddhist and are all about sharing. Because of this, even though I had the best super soaker in the neighborhood, I never EVER got to use it because my parents would order me to "share with the neighbors." So I was left using a pathetic squirter I got out of a pinata. One day, one of the neighbor kids shows up at the door asking to borrow my super soaker so he can take it to some family event.
Naturally, my parents make me lend it to him. He ends up getting it smashed into about 20 pieces. THEN when they hear about this, my parents decide to yell at me for two straight hours about not taking care of my stuff.
I was in a girl's dorm room with three other girls and a buddy of mine, and some kid I was friends with at the time stumbles in drunk. When he sees me, he’s not happy. See, for the whole year, he had been hitting on one of the girls. In a hammered attempt to impress her and take me down a peg, he mumbled out a random unprovoked insult at me as soon as he walked.
I sort of laughed it off, but then he proceeds to walk up to me and slap me as hard as possible in the face. I didn't want to try to fight this kid because he had a good few inches on me, knew judo, was wearing steel toed boots, and may have had a knife on him. So I basically said something to the effect of "What the heck man."
Then he just walks back up to me and tries to full on kick me in the nuts. With a steel-toed boot. He got a little bit too, my tip was actually bruised. At this point, my companions escorted him out of the room.
I was once at this restaurant when I saw a fight erupt between two fathers. They both had sons, one was probably seven or eight, and the other was younger, maybe four or five. The older kid pushed the younger one down and the young one started crying and bawling his eyes out, telling his dad what had happened.
The younger kid's dad then approached the older one's father and told him what happened. He was looking for at least an apology, maybe a reprimanding for the aggressor kid. That’s not what he got at all. The other dad just replied "Deal with it." I could tell the younger kid's dad was taken aback by it—but I wasn’t prepared for his next act.
He went up to the seven-year-old boy and shoved him to the floor, then took his family and left. I'm not quite sure who had the more jerk moves there, but it provided a good laugh.
I was chilling in a McDonald’s, drinking a coffee one morning when this guy walks in. Probably no older than 20. He goes up and demands an espresso. That's fine. Maybe he's in a rush. The person working hands him the espresso, he tastes it—and then takes off the lid and dumps it on the employee because it wasn't up to his standards or whatever.
He then said to go make another and not to "screw it up." JERK. I knew I had to do something. So I walked up to him and told him to please exit the store as if I was an officer, hoping it would intimidate him. It did. He left and I never saw him again.
My mom was terminally ill, so I needed paperwork signed by her doctor so that I could leave work in case of emergencies. I called him up and the doctor’s wife answered, as she was also his secretary. So I explained my situation. Suddenly, she began to scream and curse at me, saying that I need to be a patient in order to do this.
But I don't. She's just an idiot. So I told her to have the doctor call me. Long story short, he calls my mom and begins yelling at her about not wanting to sign the paperwork. Keep in mind, she couldn't even hold a phone at this point because her ALS had progressed so quickly. Not really the person to be screaming at. She started crying, so he told her to get a new doctor and hung up. But that was just the beginning of the nightmare.
The real "jerk move" of the situation was that he hung up on my mother and immediately canceled all of her prescriptions, including the hospital bed prescription which was already in the process of being sent to our house, and which we desperately needed. Having to get a new doctor was incredibly difficult because it was impossible to even get her into a wheelchair at this point, so it caused her a lot of pain to go visit a new doctor and get all her prescriptions again. I’ll never forgive him.
My friends and I were walking down the street on a warm afternoon when Alex, our shy philosophy nerd, breaks into a sprint toward the pastry store. He returned with a huge bag of donuts and cakes and proceeded to sit and stuff his face. About 2 minutes later, a woman walked by with her screaming, crying 4-year-old.
She’s saying, "I know I promised, but they were sold out. I can't get you a donut if they're sold out!"Alex just let out this slow, evil chuckle and took another bite.
I was at the mall and saw a couple meet one of the woman's friends. The two were talking and the husband was just standing there, looking down, waiting to go. At some point, the husband tried to join the conversation. His wife told him right away "Shut up John, you’re an idiot." The guy just looked down and hung his head.
I was in line to check out at the grocery store. I moved back maybe two feet to grab a box of cereal. As I turned around, a guy was pushing my shopping cart and walking in front of it to cut me in line. Me: "Did you...just cut me??" Him: "YUP." He then turns his back, ignoring my shocked comments except to call me a witch.
One of my previous housemates, who was also a guy I worked with, was one of those guys who seemed OK at first, but was really an absolute nightmare to deal with. The guy didn't know the meaning of “personal space”—he would often bust into my room uninvited—and was just plain obnoxious. But one day he took it way too far.
The other housemates and I ended up having to sit down and have a chat with him, as it turned out that our electricity was going to be switched off. Why? Because this idiot was hiding a load of electricity bills from us. Not only that, but he took many other unpaid bills with him when he left. It turns out that the electricity bills were under his name, and he would grab the bills before we could find them and stash them away in his room.
When we confronted him about this, he told us that the only reason he hid them away was because he didn't like how we were opening mail that was under his name. So, he would stash the electricity bills away in his room so we couldn't find them. Of course, when he left, he failed to pay us money he owed us for many other unpaid bills.
I was about 10 and playing Pokemon Yellow. I'd JUST caught Mewtwo after ages of trying. I was so happy, and my 6-year-old cousin could clearly see this. So she ran over to me, snatched the Gameboy out of my hands, turned it off, and ran away laughing. Jerk move. Needless to say, this sent me into a fit of rage.
I'm not proud of what occurred next, but...I then caught her and performed the Walls of Jericho wrestling move on her until she started crying.
I was going through a ridiculous amount of pain when I was 17. I was being eaten alive by my own immune system but it was undiagnosed. My mother was so worried because I was screaming from the pain every night and passing out and having pain nightmares. She finally decided to let me have pain medication to ease my suffering.
I went to the doctor, got a bunch of blood tests, and the doctor said that even though he didn't know what it was I was obviously in a LOT of pain. My mom got the script and filled it and was about to give me one at home. But then my sister storms into the kitchen and starts berating her about how I would get addicted and that she was a horrible mother.
Mom started to cry and my sister just went off on her so bad and threw the medications down the drain. I ended up having to wait until I was 18 to go to my own doctor and get the medications. But this story has an even darker twist. Turns out entire time my sister was doing all kinds of substances, probably even mine.
I was at work at my restaurant one time and this old lady was in line behind a family who had a small girl with them. The family finishes their order and goes off to the side to get some napkins, and the little girl's behind them. Said girl is standing kind of in the old lady's way, but not severely so—the old lady would have just had to take a half step to the left to get around her.
No biggie. Instead, the old lady places her hand on the girl's head and PUSHES her off to the side, then walks up to the counter as though nothing happened. It wasn't a violent push or anything, and it was strangely hilarious, but still...who the heck pushes a small child when it takes less effort to just walk around? Jerk move.
I had been working at Tim Horton's, and a female co-worker of mine had served a man via drive-thru. He had ordered a large coffee, two sugars, two milk. At Tim Horton's, their coffee is always fresh, therefore always boiling hot. The man noticed his coffee wasn't precisely what he ordered. This is where it got really bad.
Instead of going in and saying, "This coffee isn't what I ordered, can I get another one?" or something along those lines, he angrily whips the steaming hot, not to mention completely full, coffee straight at the girl. She had first and second degree burns on her chest, and I think mild burns on her face. They never found the guy.
My friend Eddie once took my smokes and destroyed them, saying “Smoking is bad, I did you a favor.” Then I saw him at a party a couple of weeks later where everyone was underage. He had a bottle of bourbon and wasn't sharing with anyone. As soon as he let it out of sight, I snatched it and took off the lid, then put it upside down in the kitchen sink with the opening pinned in the sink-hole.
When flipped out, all I said was, "Underage drinking is bad.”
One time, I was taking the bus home from the gym. The stop after where I got on, a guy in a wheelchair gets on the bus. Someone helps him raise a set of seats and he rolls into his spot. Cool and fair. Stop after that, the Turbowitch 9000 gets on the bus. She at most 50 years old. Not in the least bit disabled, except for having a critical case of Jerk-in-Brain Syndrome.
As soon as I see her, I know this isn't going to end well. She looks at the disabled guy, sighs, and says "Y'know, us old people need to sit down. We aren't like you—we don't have the luxury of wheeling ourselves around. Would you move please?" Pro-tip for you all—don't make me angry just after I hit the gym.
I stand up. As I do, the witch immediately starts moving for my seat, but I stare her down. Then I say "Excuse me, ma'am. This gentleman is seated because he cannot use his legs. He can't move for you because he's bound to a chair. If your “age” is such that you must sit down, I suggest you look for a seat at the back of the bus. Otherwise, you can stand."
If she had said anything, I don’t know what I would have done. Fortunately for her ugly mug, she went to the back of the bus.
In the middle of the night, I popped a tire on the freeway, so I pulled over onto the shoulder and called my Dad. I was only 16 at the time, after all. He told me to grab my purse, turn on my hazard lights, and move away from the car because people often hit cars on the emergency shoulder and he wanted me to be safe.
I climbed out and quickly tried to move to safety when I see a man leaning out of the passenger side of an approaching car. Next thing I know...BAM! The guy had chucked a Big Gulp full of orange soda at me. It was so darn painful that once I reached a safe spot, I sat sobbing and dripping with soda until my dad got there.
Who does that to a 16-year-old girl who's obviously in distress, in the middle of the night?
I was working as a waitress in a restaurant and the head chef told me to taste some sauce. Puzzled, I said, “May I have a spoon? He tells me, “Just dip your finger in.” I was weirded out and tried to insist, but he kept pushing me and telling me it was fine. So I went to dip my finger in the sauce—and he grabbed my wrist, stuck his face into my face, and aggressively said, "Don’t ever dip your finger into my sauce again."
It was some kind of bizarre power move. Terrified me. He actually got fired a few months later for threatening someone with a knife.
A few years ago, one of my friends had given up on trying to meet girls…so his chat-up line of choice became, "You'll do".
On my eleventh birthday, my mom bought me a Gameboy because my sister had begged and begged and begged me to get one so I could trade Pokemon with her. When my dad got home from a long trip and saw the birthday gift my mother had purchased for me, he was furious. See, my dad didn’t like me very much, and he soon let me know it.
He loaded my seven-year-old sister up in the car while my mom was at work and took her to K-mart, where he bought her a Gameboy Advance, a Gameboy kit with all sorts of wonderful LED screen lights and chargers, and a new Pokemon game.
A Holocaust survivor came to our high school to give us a first-hand account of the era. She recounted losing her home, being moved to Buchenwald, losing her family and loved ones, and how she herself was on the verge of passing toward the end. She also told us about her friends and family who went to Auschwitz and were tattooed like cattle with an identification number.
At the end, there was a Q&A and a kid, while holding back laughter and with a bunch of friends who are also laughing, said, "Show us your tattoo!"
There was standing room only on a bus. A lady wanted to switch seats with a young girl to be by her friend. While in the process of doing this, a young man who was standing sat down in the lady's seat, which had been empty for maybe two seconds. When they protested, all he said was, "What are you talking about? The seat was empty."
My old roommate was the worst. He started an affair with his live-in girlfriend's friend. He then pretended everything in their relationship was fine, all while he made preparations to move out with the other girl. He continued to sleep with the girlfriend so she wouldn't catch on, because if he broke it off before he moved, things would be so awkward in our house.
When I was working at a video store in San Francisco, I saw one of our regulars come in, stop, pick something up off the ground, and walk to the nearest employee. The nearest employee was Christine, who was off to the side talking on the phone with someone. "Hey," the regular says. "Someone lost their membership card."
Christine rolls her eyes. "I'm actually on my break." She says it as if it’s a big effort, and then turns away from the guy. The regular didn't know what to say. I was standing nearby and I didn't either. It was like we were watching someone step out of a bad sitcom, that is how over-the-top the situation seemed. But I had to do something.
I walked up to him and apologized for the way she acted and thanked him for picking up the card. I knew the guy’s name, so I hooked up his account with a free rental, and went back to shelving returns. I wish that was the end of the story.
I was coming up from the back when I saw the regular checking out and leaving. It's important to note that we had trouble with the front door when it was windy; if it wasn't shut all the way, the wind would catch it and keep it open, directing all the cold wind right to the counter where we rang people up and checked in.
Christine was back from her "break" and saw the regular leaving, and somehow she had the nerve to ask the regular: "Can you shut the door, please?" Without slowing down, he said over his shoulder, "Sorry, I'm on my break!" I didn't even try to hold in my laughter.
My friend invited me to play kickball with a group of his friends when we were both in our early 20s. Being a shy, quiet girl, I thought it would be an easy and fun way to meet new people. I was on third base and one of the guys on the opposite team kicked the ball directly toward me. I caught it and was feeling pretty awesome about what a sweet catch it was, when suddenly the dude comes over and throws a fistful of sand into my face, including my open eyes and mouth.
It was so mean, I immediately started crying in front of the entire group. He gave me a weak apology when some of the other people called him out on being a jerk. I spent the rest of the game alone on the sidelines.
In high school, one guy struck a deal with his friends that he would wear his Harry Potter T-shirt every day for a month without washing it. If he made it to the end of the month without washing it or taking it off, he would get $20 from each of his friends. They were general jerks about it and smeared a lot of stuff on him throughout the month.
Basically, they were trying to make it harder for him to keep up his end of the deal. The absolute worst was on the last day of the bet. One guy didn't want to pay up, so he peed in a cup and threw it all over the other guy—at school. The dude went to first period smelling SO horrible, it made all of us gag. Halfway through first period, he finally gave up, walked out of class, went to the gym, and changed into his gym clothes.
I felt so bad for him that he'd lost the bet, I gave him $20. Seriously jerk move.
When I was in high school, I had dated a girl for almost a year. One week before our anniversary, she was going on a five-day vacation with her family. I talked to her that morning and she acted like everything was fine. We made plans to go to a theme park when she got back to celebrate. I even told her on the phone that I was going to buy the tickets after we got off.
All she said was "Ok, I love you" in an excited tone. So I get off the phone, spend $90 on tickets, which took forever to save in high school, and started watching a movie. In the middle of it, my mom went to get the mail and brought in a letter that was sitting on the porch. It was from my girlfriend. Its contents broke my heart.
She broke up with me in it, and she had set it on my porch on her way to her vacation with no way to contact her, and less than an hour after telling me to buy the tickets for our one year. Jerk move.
So to start the story, I need to say that at the time, when I was 10-years-old, my family wasn't one of the richest ones. Actually, we were dirt poor. All because my mom divorced my dad a long time ago. So our relatives helped us out with different things. Bought us some furniture, a TV, and even helped us get some stuff like curtains for our house.
Even so, the house we lived in was pretty nice, so these relatives came every year to spend their summer there. In total, there were about 8 people for three months. Now, our house wasn’t huge, so it was pretty crowded. Still, they’d helped us out so we were okay with it. Then one day, my aunt wants to replace our coffee table.
Oh, and my uncle wants to build a new entertainment set. Little by little, they start changing our house to their tastes, all while throwing out stuff that was sentimental to us. My dad managed to keep his cool about all those things (I couldn't have). Then one year, my dad starts going out with a woman and they eventually move in together into our house.
Everything is okay until the summer comes. My dad calls my relatives and asks if it would be possible for them to maybe spend their time this summer somewhere else so that he could have some privacy with the woman. They agree to it…and come anyway. Again, he keeps his cool for a bit. But when just happens to mention it, they blow up.
All of my relatives freak out and start yelling at him. Saying he must hate them and that he’s ungrateful. Then they’re just saying, “Okay, we will go since you hate us so much.” They were even saying it to us, the kids. I was stunned. You just don't say things like that to a 10-year-old boy. Then they left. We didn't think we’d see them again—but they had a surprise in store for us.
The next day, my dad went to work and drove me to school, suspecting nothing. But when we came back, our front door was open. We thought someone had broken in, but it was worse. Most of the house was empty. These relatives had taken all the things that were meant as a gift. Even the curtains. They also had circled yesterday’s date in the calendar and written: "the day (my fathers name) threw away the people who loved him the most." THAT was the biggest jerk move I've witnessed.
One time, when I was very young, I was at a family dinner. I had just gotten one of those Nano Pets and my very young cousin wanted to play with it. I didn't want her to because I was worried she would break it. She went and told her dad that I wouldn't share. Now, they had just gotten a new puppy, and I love puppies.
So he came and told me that I couldn't play with their puppy if my cousin couldn't play with my Nano Pet. I was sad, and my mom noticed. She asked what was wrong, and I told her. She, of course, thought this was just plain mean on my uncle's part, so she tells me that I can play with the puppy if I want to, regardless.
My uncle comes into the room, sees me playing with the puppy, and loses his mind. He starts getting angry and my mom comes in to defend me. This ended up resulting in the biggest fight my family has ever had, with literally my entire family ganging up on my mom, including my dad, saying that she had no right to go against anything any of the men in the family say. Jerk move, family.
There used to be little herbs shop near my apartment that specialized in medicinal herbs. I walked in one day and asked if he carried yohimbe, which is a bedroom enhancer. There were a couple of customers browsing around near the counter. Instead of just saying "No," he made a point of letting me know, in front of the other customers, that he did not carry any enhancers and implied that I was a sleazoid for even asking.
This is an herb that I had found before in whole food markets, by the way. I left feeling pretty ticked off at his self-righteous attitude. Anyway, a few weeks later I was walking past his shop on the other side of the street. He was in the shop's doorway talking to someone on the sidewalk. This yuppie-looking guy strolls by, walking a very large dog—a Great Dane or something similar.
He's talking on his cell phone. The dog stops and takes an enormous poop on the sidewalk, right in front of the herbal shop, a few feet from the shopkeeper and the person he was talking to. As soon as the dog finished, the yuppie guy started to walk away, still talking on his phone. The shopkeeper yells, "HEY! Your dog just took a giant poop in front of my store! Clean it up!"
The yuppie didn't even pause his conversation. He looked back for a second at the shopkeeper, then kept on walking. The shopkeeper was furious, but he had customers in his store and couldn't follow the guy. I saw the whole thing. It made me happy.
When I was five or so, my family went to Legoland in Denmark. One of the activities there was building a car out of Lego and racing it down a slope against other guests. Two older kids challenged me to race; I accepted. We built our cars and dropped them at the top of the slope. Mine completely obliterated theirs, gaining speed fast and going completely straight while theirs veered right and stopped.
One of them then ran down and smashed my car before it reached the finish line, while the other manually guided theirs down the slope.
In high school, I was a pretty good long distance runner, and one of my close friends was way more athletic than me, but not as good at distance running. It was seriously the one sport I was good at, and he was good at everything else. So we're doing a cross-country run, and he's managing to keep up with me pretty well.
We're in front of the rest of the class by a comfortable distance, so I suggest we stick together and cross the line at the same time. He agrees. 50 feet from the finish line, he suddenly breaks into a sprint and beats me. He got entered into regionals and I didn't, even though I could've left him in my dust at any time. Jerk.
I was the jerk, pretty much. Today I was being tailgated pretty hard. I wasn't driving that slow, though. However, apparently this guy couldn't handle it, so he started honking and tailgating me. He eventually went so far as to scream "Move it, jerk!" At that point, I just gave him a thumbs-up and slowed down to 10 miles an hour.
Considering it was an incredibly twisty road and there was no real way for him to pass, he got pretty angry. Which was really fun to watch... for the next five miles.
There wasn't enough room for this one kid at our table, so he sat alone at the one next to ours. No one felt like getting up and sitting with him, so I did. I couldn’t believe his horrific response. He then got up and took my spot at the table. Total jerk move. Luckily, everyone at the table started calling him out, so he moved back. When he did, I took my old seat back.
I'm at the club with a good friend of mine. He's playing wing-man for me since he has a girlfriend and I don't. He introduced me to a nice looking girl, and we hit it off. Or so I think. I go to the bar to buy a round, come back, and they are nowhere to be found. I call him, no reply. Fast forward to the next day—he texts me to say he had hooked up with the girl. Thanks, bud.
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