The Moment I Cut My Family Member Out
No family is exempt from drama. But sometimes the mess runs so deep, you’re forced to cut “family” out of your life. Here are a few stories of people whose family members went way too far and got the cut.
1. “We Don’t Talk About Barb”
My (former?) aunt Barb. She was my uncle’s second wife, things were looking good for them. They seemed happy, had three kids, and were making a life for themselves. Sure they had their issues as any couple does but no one expected what was to come. I always liked her, but my grandma and my mom didn’t really like her and she was never really part of the family. She was ostracized a bit.
Then the week before my cousin’s 18th birthday she says she wants a divorce. The reason why was truly deranged. She had gotten hooked on amphetamines and was leaving my uncle for her dealer. It took the entire family by shock. Then my uncle told us that over the past year, she had slowly been drifting away. Not doing housework, going out late at night, and being gone for a few days at a time.
Now about 10 years later no one mentions her. It’s like she never existed.
Occasionally conversation will begin to drift towards her existence but then everyone will realize where it’s going and the subject will be changed. Her name is never spoken with large groups present, only between small groups and in hushed voices, and no one ever has anything good to say about her.
To make matters worse she got a huge amount of money in a lawsuit and is now living it up. She worked for a small county government as a road grater driver. She was the only female employee at the time and was asked to clean the bathrooms. She then sued for discrimination (using my uncle’s divorce lawyer) and won. She gets monthly payments and is constantly going to Vegas as per her Facebook updates.
2. The Villainous Mother
It’s incredibly Game-Of-Thrones-like in my family. If my mother hated you for that moment, she would try to turn EVERYONE against you.
She’ll be up early in the morning, until nightfall, trash-talking you to your other siblings, cousins, aunties, grandpas, neighbor’s dog, everyone.
My siblings would then, in an attempt to win over my mother’s love/favor (which they yearned for because she never gave it), would start talking about that sibling also. The annoying thing is, they’ve all had it happen to them, yet they’re all so willing to turn on each other the moment she commanded them to. A few times my mother has straight up called me to call my sister to complain to her about something, usually, the way she parents her kids, and I nope out of that situation real quick. Do your own dirty work.
My family calls me Sweden because I’m neutral, I don’t get involved. I don’t want to hear about the family drama or who is in whose “faction”. I learned at an early age not to chase my mother’s love because she doesn’t know how to love us the correct way; with some semblance of warmth and support.
3. Finances And Fortunes
My uncle took our grandpa’s identity (his dad) and ruined him financially. Then when his brother passed, tried taking money from his sister (my mom) and conning his way into things that didn’t belong to him.
When my mom passed, he asked for her SSN and told me it was for an old insurance policy their brother (referenced above) worth like $400. I told him I wanted more info, looked into it. That’s when I made a disturbing discovery.
It was $76k that he was trying to claim entirely for himself instead of me and my sibling and getting my mom’s share.
I hate that guy.
His dad didn’t want him to go to prison so nothing came of the identity theft.
4. All Because Of A Woman
Uncle Steve. He lived with my grandma at the time and had this girlfriend who claimed she was a nurse. She acted like the nicest lady in the world and “took care of” my elderly grandparents. She ended up stealing my grandma’s identity, spending all of her life’s savings, and royally screwing her over.
We all found out about it after my aunt grew suspicious and hired a private investigator. It turns out she never even went to school and had scammed elderly people before. My family confronted her and she just walked away and disappeared. Steve went with her and he never came back.
He used to be the cool uncle who would give us rides on his motorcycle and light our fireworks with a torch. My other uncle ran into Steve a while ago and he’s a unemployable man married to that horrible ogre of a woman.
5. Old Habits Die Hard
There are many reasons beyond this, but the final straw was from the last time I saw my step-grandfather.
I went to empty the dishwasher for him, and he was at the sink, so I waited for him to move so I could wash my hands, and he looked at me and “Well why don’t you empty it then”?
I simply said “I’m just waiting for you to move so I can wash my hands”, and his response was “Stop being smart”! I told him “That’s pretty rude considering I’m trying to help you”.
And he decided that attempting to fight me over that was appropriate.
This guy is old and broken, he can barely walk, breathe or do anything for himself, the very definition of a decrepit old has been. And yet he still got all up in my face with his fists raised and his eyes filled with hate.
I said, “Really dude? Do you actually think you could do anything? I could puff on you and you would fall over”. I would never wanna fight someone in that condition, but I made it clear I would defend myself if he charged at me. He kept on trying to come at me. I knew just what to do to shut him down.
Eventually, I got fed up with his behavior, opened my arms wide, and said “Go ahead, I dare you. I’ll even give you the first shot, but I guarantee I’ll get the last one”.
And he finally backed down when he realized he couldn’t intimidate me like he could when I was a kid.
6. Evil Daughter
My sister did something I can never forgive her for. She took approximately $30k from my dad and $10k from my mom. She got credit cards in my dad’s name, too. He eventually had to file for bankruptcy. The money she took from my mom was all her savings that she desperately needed when she was leaving an abusive relationship. My parents were far from good parents, but they didn’t deserve to have their financial life completely destroyed.
I wish those were her only sins. She was evil for as long as I can remember. She emotionally abused me and put me down for as long as I can remember. I was a sensitive kid, so I sadly believed everything she said. She tried to take my friends and boyfriends. She ruined my clothes. She put me in unsafe and mature situations that took years of therapy to heal from.
Her theft, manipulation, selfishness, and narcissism took so much away from me. There was no money for a first car, college, etc. After she took what she wanted my dad was a shell of a person, so he couldn’t process how hard her actions had been on me, too. I lost all my protectors. I was alone.
There’s so much more I could share. I sometimes can’t believe I experienced what I did because it’s so bleak. I stopped all communication with her about 10 years ago and my life has positively changed as a result. I know she still tries to get friends and family to not like me because I’ve heard stories.
I don’t care what she does and I don’t care what anyone thinks.
I know the truth and the trauma and I’m just happy to be free of her!
7. The Arsonist Mom
My wife’s mum attempted to burn down my house—but that’s not the worst part.
Her daughter and grandson were inside at the time.
She’s a piece of work who’s going to die bitter and alone and that’s just fine by all of her kids. She’d always been a nasty piece of work. A horrible narcissistic woman. Only ever looked out for herself. Especially in years gone by whilst she raised her kids.
Although her kids definitely raised themselves and they did a cracking job of it.
On the event in question, she came around our house late one night unannounced and inebriated. I was away that night and probably a good job I was too because I would’ve actually ended her life. She wanted to see her grandson. My wife refused and left her on the doorstep.
A row occurred and my wife essentially told her mother exactly what her kids thought of her, and that she should leave. Instead of leaving, she started pushing lit paper from the recycling bin through the letterbox.
We had a lucky escape.
She managed to really shovel a lot of fuel onto the fire before my wife noticed a burning smell. If the coats hanging in the hallway had caught it could’ve easily been a different story.
The really sad thing is my son lost a grandma that night. We won’t/can’t have anything to do with her anymore.
Mentally ill or not. It doesn’t matter when someone brings such horrors to your life.
8. Surprise Divorce
My former aunt. She’d been married to my uncle (who is the one I’m actually blood-related to) and had three kids with him.
She seemed like such a great lady, and we all loved her as I was growing up. Really nice person—until we learned she was hiding a dark secret.
One day she suddenly announces she wants a divorce. Caught everyone off guard. Turns out she’d fallen in love with another man and wanted to marry him instead.
After nearly 20 years of marriage to my uncle.
My uncle was devastated. So much so that he moved in with my family for a while because he couldn’t bear to be in the house he had shared with her, even after she’d moved out.
Now we don’t speak of her. My cousins still see her regularly but even they don’t talk about her with the rest of us. My family has more or less disowned her entirely.
The good news is that my uncle got remarried and is very happy with his life now. And somehow during the divorce, he got ownership of the lavish, giant house my former aunt’s father had bought for them, which he is now selling for a major profit.
9. “Until Cancer Do Us Part”
My dad cheated on my mother while she was dying of cancer.
He was always suggestive and aggressive with girls. And he thought it was both normal and hilarious. He did this before, during, and after we lost my mom.
He is a pervert and a horrible person for so many reasons that only begin here.
I tried to forgive him, but I really, really shouldn’t have.
10. A Time And A Place
My uncle (dad’s brother) for trying to talk to me about what the “good book” says about “queers” at MY MOM’S FUNERAL. Twice.
The first time I told him I’d be glad to have that conversation with him. As a biromantic, atheist who has studied the history of the bible—it could have been a really fun discussion. For me. But that it was not the time or the place for it.
And then he tried AGAIN. I held my hand up, and said “STOP. I just told you I wasn’t having this conversation with you right now”.
And then I walked away. I haven’t spoken to him since—that was in 2020. And I never will again.
The pure disrespect shown to my mom, my dad, and to me cannot even be described.
11. A Mother’s Love
I supported my 46-year-old son all his adult life. Through raising two of his children.
I was spending too much money and I was going broke myself.
When he wanted to move in with his girlfriend I said no more. I told him that he had to stand up for themselves. Of course, I was a freaking witch for that. So I haven’t seen or heard from him for over a year. The worst part?
He hasn’t even checked on his kids, who live with me. Not birthdays or Christmas.
12. Holiday Spirit
My uncle punched me in the neck for no reason while inebriated. Cut him off that same night. On Christmas at that.
13. What Does Family Even Mean?
When I was at my sister’s funeral, I started crying. My family’s reaction was deranged. They told me I had no reason to cry because I wasn’t really family because I was adopted.
But the thing was: I was adopted into my own family.
We were still biologically related.
14. An Evil Vow
My mother is a grandiose narcissist who projects all of her negative qualities on any and everyone.
When I tried to have a talk about all the hurt I endured as a child I was swiftly told that everything was my fault.
She’s attempted to pit my brother and me against each other for most of our lives.
The memory that sticks with me was when I was 14 she said she’d make sure I never get to see my brother when we’re grown up.
15. The Manipulative Mom
My mother manipulated my brothers and me as kids. She would routinely tell me how awful my maternal grandmother was, and how my dad never took her side against my grandmother. That created a lot of resentment towards my dad growing up, even thought we are now on fantastic terms as adults.
When I started dating my now-wife, she tried to break us up—and the reason why was seriously twisted. She said my wife wasn’t pretty enough. It led to her picking fights with my wife constantly. I remembered how upset she was about my dad not sticking up for his wife, so when I started sticking up for my wife, she got mad.
Then a fake cancer diagnosis.
Which she claimed was a mental health breakdown.
She fights with every single woman in the family because her life is out of control.
The final straw was after she gave herself brain damage and almost lost her life from drinking… And then started drinking within 4 weeks of being released from the hospital.
She was told if she starts drinking again, we were done. Her response? “It is what it is”.
If any good came out of this it’s that I’m an alcoholic myself. The day I accepted that, is the same day she went to the hospital and spent a month in ICU.
She has been a tremendous motivator to stay clean. January will be 2 years for me.
16. Ungraceful Guests
It was after a Christmas party. My mother manages a small hotel with rooms and two chalets. So she booked rooms for the family to sleep over after the party.
One of my cousins took a chalet with her boyfriend. It was only for one night, regular customers were coming the next day.
All the family leave early the next day and so did my cousin.
Customers who booked the chalet arrived early, so my mother show them the chalet, assuming that the chalet will be clean enough and that the customers could leave their luggage there til the bed was made.
There was pee on the wall. My cousin and their bf literally peed on the wall. My mother was shocked and made excuses for the customers. She call the dad of my cousin and we never saw her again.
17. Apparently Social Security Is Unfair
My brother turned me in for social security swindling. Needless to say, I’m not committing any such thing. Had I been convicted, I would have got a $250,000 fine and would have been imprisoned for five years. He does not exist to me.
He lived out of state for three years, during which he never saw me or knew of my disabilities. During that period he and his wife both applied for disability benefits and got denied. He said to me it was ridiculous.
He thinks he should be the one sitting home collecting disability instead of me…I have an issue with it.
Within 2 weeks I got a letter from SS stating they have reason to believe that I am fraudulently receiving disability benefits. I had to give them all my medical information proving I am disabled. I can’t believe that he’s jealous of me that I’m disabled!!
I’m a private person my family doesn’t know about all my illnesses.
I appear to be ok but am disabled—but he’s not the only one who betrayed me.
On top of it all, my mother said that I can’t prove anything so let it be!!
I lost my husband and I asked my entire family if they could help me out by watching my youngest while I worked a night shift. Every single one of them said no.
19. Sacrifices For The Child
I recently decided I’m done with my sister. It’s sad and I don’t feel great about it, but she is a cyclical addict who has had more chances than I can count to stay clean.
The real shift is that now she is lying to me (she used to confide) and I have a child who I, unfortunately, just don’t want around that life.
She is a spoiled brat narcissist who is as addicted to being taken care of as she is to drinking and after 40 years of dealing with her, I am just burned out.
Maybe I’ll soften at some point, maybe she’ll make an effort and get clean again, but for the moment I am done.
20. The Selective Grandfather
This was before I was born, but my family stopped talking to my biological grandfather. When I heard the story, I was shocked.
Apparently, he showed up with a present for my middle brother but not my oldest brother, who just so happened to have been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.
My mom threw the present back in his face and told him he could come back when he could treat both boys equally. He never came back.
21. The Opposite Of Sweet
I don’t speak to my grandma because every time I see her it’s super dark and gruesome.
She’s always talking about how she’s gonna die and how the politics suck, how I’m a terrible sister, and how I’ll never have a husband if I don’t gain some weight.
How my mom is bossy, how my brother is this and that…I can’t stand it.
I’m recovering from extreme depression, I can’t have negativity on my mind every day when I talk to you.
22. Discrimination Is Funny
I’m a white guy from Indiana who fell in love and married a Hispanic woman from Arizona.
We went back to Indiana for my grandmother’s funeral and my stepbrother wanted to tell prejudiced jokes to my wife. He said he wanted to “break the ice” and “lighten the mood” at the wake.
Yeah. I don’t talk to him anymore.
23. The Cranberry Sauce Debacle
My uncle is a real piece of work. He’s incredibly rude to waiters and customer service people, he’s a general creep, and he watches TikToks of young girls dancing. He’s a hoarder, which isn’t a moral failure on its own but he’s also a huge jerk to my aunt about it.
They came over for dinner on Christmas eve with my parents, and all my uncle said the entire night was “Why didn’t you make cranberry sauce”? and “I can’t believe there are no raisins in this rice pudding”
He then refused to eat any even after being offered raisins to add. My mom had made a delicious traditional Christmas dinner and he couldn’t think of a single nice thing to say.
We hadn’t talked in a long while before that, and I don’t plan to talk to him again. My aunt is a wonderfully kind woman, I don’t know how/why she puts up with him.
24. Religious Dispute
Apparently, I mocked their religion by putting a cross over our father’s memorial. The religion was Christianity.
I’m still flummoxed by that one.
But I am still ghosted two years later.
The term vulnerable narcissist comes to mind.
25. “Not My Nephew”
My aunt bought a Christmas present for my son, not my stepson. I asked politely if we could buy a present for him and say it was from her. Her reaction was bizarre. She completely refused.
I returned the present unopened. After that, I’ve barely spoken to her for 20+ years.
26. Last Minute Will Alterations
My aunt got my dad to change his will in his last moments. Instead of everything going to my mum it went to my aunt. Some of the money went into a trust fund that my sister and I could only access at 25.
When she released the money it was nowhere near the amount in terms of the interest it would have accrued during the years, in my case 24 years.
When we questioned her she transferred a little bit extra but we couldn’t be bothered fighting it. My mum had to sell the house to pay funeral costs as his family didn’t want to help.
27. Trouble-Making Grandma
My grandmother told the whole family for years that I wasn’t my dad’s child, and that my mom had an affair—which is completely false. We had no idea and wondered why not many family members came around us until my aunt told my parents what she’d been saying.
She never apologized for any of that, and instead ignored us until she became sick. When she got ill she seemed to have changed. She couldn’t work due to sickness and was about to lose her house.
So we decided to move in with her to help out as much as we could. It was fine at first. But then she started snooping through people’s belongings, put up cameras everywhere so she could watch us, and would get unnecessarily angry at small things.
We all eventually just resorted to being hermits in our rooms and just came out to use the restroom and make food.
28. Messed Up Priorities
She used my wedding (destination wedding) to meet up with some dude half her age so that she could cheat on her husband—but that’s not the weirdest part.
To top it all off, did not say a single word to my now-wife at the wedding. On another trip, she wanted to have her 15-year-old nephew fend for himself, rather than wait with him to have a proper way of getting home.
29. Trophy Child
She was terribly prejudiced and has a severe white-savior Christian complex.
Even adopted a little girl from China to try and satiate it but thinks of her as “hers” more than a human.
The kid is unfortunately pretty mentally messed up now.
30. The Insensitive “Comedian”
She thought it was funny and laughed so blatantly when my dad had a seizure.
31. No Compassion
I stopped talking to him because he was hitting on the nurse in the room where my mother was being compassionately extubated. The worst part?
Oh yeah, he’s my dad.
32. The Case Of The Disappearing Father
The last time I saw my dad in person was in 1998.
He never wanted kids, and when my little sister was born, forced my mother to give her up for adoption. My mother went into a spiral of depression after that and took her own life when I was still a teen. I found her body, had to deal with the authorities and all that. When my dad came home days later, his reaction was chilling.
He threw me out. “You don’t have your mother to protect you anymore”, he said.
I had to graduate high school homeless, crashing on friend’s couches and guest rooms. My college dreams were crushed because I had to get a job to support myself, which was hard until I become a manager of a bookstore at age 18. That was in 1987.
Since then, I saw him only a handful of times. I got married and had a child. My wife, in her vain attempt to have some kind of family, tried inviting my dad and his new wife to be part of ours since they only lived 20 minutes away.
But he only made it over a handful of times: my son saw his relatives (distant cousins) in another country more than he saw his own grandfather. My father is very rich, and I was very poor, but my dad never offered to help. Because of this, we struggled for over a decade before we got out of poverty. He never spoke to us unless my wife made contact.
The last time I saw my dad, he invited me out for my birthday in 1998, but it turns out he just wanted professional advice from my wife (she was an insurance adjuster).
She was pretty insulted when she figured this out, and after that, she gave up on trying to have any kind of relationship with them. In 2000, they moved away, and said they had “no fixed address, and planned to travel the world”. I suspect that was a ruse because I have since discovered they bought a multi-million dollar beachfront condo that same year.
While my dad has been pretty good at hiding his address, his wife has not. She’s one of those “socialite wannabes” and while she’s not really a bad person, she’s not exactly “complicated by the realities of a common man”, if that makes sense. Imagine being born rich, under your father’s shadow, and never really having to have an actual job. Then, because of my work background check needs, I had to find out about their life and the money they made, because of the whole “possible foreign money influence” thing. I know that they are worth several million, have a lot of real estate, classic cars, and a 57′ pleasure yacht with a staff. The US government considers them safe, so I guess that’s good.
In 2014, I lost my wife of 25 years, and that was the last time I spoke to them. I figured “the mother to your only grandchild is no longer with us” was a good enough reason to speak to them, and I sent them a certified letter. I got back a generic email from the wife, which can be summed up as, “So sorry, it happens, but don’t worry, you’ll find someone else. Your father did”.
This may come off as callous, but I think that’s really how she sees things, and thought she was being mature and professional. No offers to help or “here’s my number, call me if you need anything”, or anything like that. Just a generic, “our condolences for a troubled time”, one might get from a vendor or something. She even signed it with her full name and professional credentials. No idea if my dad even knows or cares.
And that’s ultimately it: he doesn’t hate me. Hate is framed as the opposite of love, but really, they come from the same root. He is actually the opposite of love: indifference. He literally does not think of me or care, which is how he was about most people in his life. He sees people like appliances: you use them when you need them, otherwise, you don’t think about them much.
I mean, do you think about your toaster until you need toast? He’s like that about people.
And when the toaster has problems, throw it out and get a new one.
Once in a while, I have to look them up because I have to re-up clearance or something. I suspect when he dies, I will not be informed but will find out months or years after the fact.
33. The Family Left Him
My brother (a dangerous narcissist) robbed my mom into poverty, she sacrificed literally every penny and even went into debt to cover his lifestyle.
Every time I bailed her out I knew I was funding her unhealthy relationship with him. When she was finally dying of cancer, (and having a million other issues and struggles) both my sister and my brother were nowhere to be seen.
I stepped in and stepped up to help her out of her misery making huge sacrifices career-wise, financially getting indebted myself—medical bills through the roof, and her house basically needed entire renovations.
And that was all on top of being constantly exposed (mentally) to extreme hardship and misery of someone you love the most.
Even my big loved one, just left me 6 months into this rough situation. Because there’s nothing as unsexy as a man struggling, bleeding, and suffering to help out a loved one I guess.
Anyway, I carried my mum alone on my own shoulders till her very dying breath holding her hands while people close to our hearts just turned their backs and left us. Regardless of the fact that I showed them nothing but care and loyalty throughout my entire life.
Since the funeral almost day to day now 3 years ago (passed the first week after the new year, I haven’t spoken to any of them. may they all go screw themselves in eternity, to me they simply do not exist any longer
34. Gone But Not Forgotten
My uncle. He lost a battle with cancer when I was seven. It’s too upsetting, in a variety of ways.
He was a great guy and we all have fond memories of him, but a lot of less fond stuff happened after this and any conversation about him inevitably turns into “things would have been different if he survived”.
But the problem is, in my opinion at least, things would have been much worse if he was around. Not because of anything he did, but because of how his presence would have affected the choices of others.
That’s a hard thing to reconcile, knowing that this good man lost his life so tragically, but also that I’m better off because of it. It’s easier for everyone to just not talk about him.
I’m a 32-year-old man, and I no longer speak to my older brother, who is 38.
I worked for him through three failed business attempts. I sacrificed proper wages, holidays, superannuation that was never paid, and my mental and physical health.
All in an attempt to see his businesses grow and succeed. This was over a five-year period.
He finally decided to pull the pin on the last one and I moved away for a while. He went into some kind of psychotic break and stopped paying his bills, rent, and car payments. He stopped leaving the house and was barely eating or looking after himself. But then he really went off the rails.
He genuinely believed he was Jesus Christ reincarnated, and that he had found his trust funds from 2,000 years ago and was waiting on the millions of dollars to come in.
One night, he rang the authorities and told them he thought he was being poisoned with cyanide. The fire department arrived in hazmat suits and evacuated the entire street while they screened for unsafe substances.
They found nothing and the officers were able to enter the house. They found notebooks full of plans to fly to Russia to meet with Putin, and other plans to travel and meet with Edward Snowden, and a few other influential people.
He was sectioned under the mental health act and put in a psych facility for two weeks. During that time, my father stood in and began communicating with all of his creditors on his behalf. He was just trying to help his son and salvage what he could for him. This was taken by my brother as the utmost disrespect and he basically wrote my father off.
I had moved two hours away with my partner and 3-year-old daughter. Probably six weeks after he was let out, I get a phone call. He was in the small town I’d moved to and was asking for my address. I was in for an unpleasant surprise. He arrived five minutes later with his Ute loaded with what he could fit.
He asked to stay for a few days, I said yes. A few days turned into month after month. He had no income and wouldn’t go on welfare because he was waiting on his millions to come in. I was feeding him and his dog. And then he began robbing us. He was taking things from me and my partner. Taking weed, and eventually cash.
My partner had grown tired of his constant excuses and at times didn’t feel safe around him as he would sit on the couch in his own world and occasionally just start laughing out of nowhere. We guessed he was having conversations in his head. I told him he needed to move out. He refused to go to my parents due to our father’s previously mentioned actions. And on one particular day, when I again told him he needed to move out, he said “Yeah I’ve got a place here in town. I move in two weeks”. He even pointed to a house a few streets away on top of a hill and told me that was the house.
Knowing it wasn’t true but needing the confirmation anyway, I took a quick drive over to the house he’d pointed out. I googled the address and found no listings or anything indicating the house was available to let. I knocked on the door and politely explained my situation and asked if it was up for private lease etc. Their reaction made my blood run cold. I got a no for an answer.
I was furious, hurt, and pretty lost as to what I should do. I asked my partner to leave for the day with our daughter so I could confront him. That lead to me almost getting physical with him but I instead walked away and rang my parents.
The ultimatum was they come and get him, or I ring the authorities and have him removed. Mum rang my brother and said we’re coming tomorrow to pick you up, no questions, no ifs or buts.
I returned home and he emerged from his bedroom and said: “I’ve had a think and I’m going to go to mum and dad’s tomorrow”. This increased my anger as I know it wasn’t his decision at all. The ego and narcissism were insane. He’d always been very egotistical and narcissistic but this was a level I’d never seen or experienced.
It took him another two years at Mum and Dad’s before he was working full time again and got himself into a house of his own. We barely spoke over those two years. Fast forward another 5 years to the present day, and we had still barely spoken properly.
I’ve made numerous attempts to have a line of communication with him, but it never went anywhere. I guess he felt disrespected by me as well.
In those years, I separated from my partner at the time, bought a house with the woman I ended up marrying, and that all fell apart in 2022. He came to my engagement and wedding but barely spoke to me at all.
On Christmas day 2022 at mum and dad’s, he’s drinking. Something he’s never really done.
We start having a conversation and I start telling him what my plans are for the future (I’m at rock bottom at this point in my life) and he flat-out tells me my business idea will fail, and that he knows business better than I do. That was my final straw.
He then gets extremely arrogant and tells me I’ll never do anything with my life. By this stage, he’s standing over me which he’s done in the past. I told him to get out of my face otherwise I was going to drop him. He stood over me, said “You won’t do it you sissy, come on then”, and proceeded to tip a liter of coke on me.
To which I stood up and swung at him for the first time in my life. I got him right above the eye and stunned him. He charged at me and ended up on top of me, to which I kicked him off me and Dad was now between us.
Mum tried to calm him and he told her to screw off, which made me almost jump to the table and go at him again. He had two directions to walk away and chose to come around the side of the table I was on. He threw his shoulder into me on the way past. I turned and gave him another left to the chin, further bruising his fragile ego.
He hid in the spare room for the rest of the evening and left at 6 am the next morning without a word to anyone. Mum has tried to contact him but she’s been ignored which isn’t fair at all to her.
I’m done with him. I’ve always been the little brother to him and he has no support or kind words despite everything I’ve ever done for him. His “older, bigger, better” attitude is something I refuse to deal with anymore.
I just want to be spoken to and treated like an equal human being with some basic respect sprinkled on top, but his ego and narcissism won’t ever allow that to happen.
He’s always right, always will be, and everyone will always be beneath him. He already cut me out of his life so I’m not missing anything anyway.
It hurts, but holding a space for him in my heart has just brought me pain over these years.
Guess I needed to get it off my chest.
36. Suspicious RV
For the sake of discretion, I’ll call him Uncle Dave.
Uncle Dave was cool to me. I was 5 years old and my sisters were both 11 years older than I was. We always went bowling with Dave and he would tell us about all the cool stuff he thought about. Aliens, everything.
He lived pretty far away but he visited a lot and we went out in his RV.
One weekend my parents went out of town and left my sisters with me at our house. They decided to throw a party.
When my parents got back, Dave gave them a call to let them know that they had a party. He even went as far as telling them that my sisters were talking about taking drinks from the fridge and replacing it before they got back. But there was something off about his story.
He wasn’t even near the house. He never came in, and according to his wife, he was at home all weekend. After my parents confronted him, thinking he was stalking us or something. They got him to confess to some weird things.
This man put microphones in our lamps and vents.
He kept a receiver in his RV and parked it outside the house at night.
They filed a restraining order and the officers didn’t find anything in his possession. But there were wires and microphones hidden in our house.
37. Bail, Flee, Repeat
One of my second cousins is my mom’s direct cousin. Two of my second cousins were born later in my great aunt’s life and I was born to a teenage mom so we aren’t that far off in age. This cousin and I used to be somewhat close growing up.
Anyway, he got into heavy substances and ran off many years ago. The only time we hear about him is when he gets thrown into prison and needs to be bailed out. As soon as he is bailed out he vanishes again.
I know my great aunt worries and his brother worries as well, but he’s also angry and exhausted with the situation. We don’t talk about him much as no one really knows how he’s doing, where he is at, or what he’s up to.
You get the occasional, “When was the last time anyone saw Kevin”? “I think Mike bailed him out of a situation a couple of months back but he ran off again”. “Oh… that’s a shame”.
I know if he cleaned up the family would love to have him around again but I don’t see that ever happening unfortunately.
38. Holier Than Thou?
My sister-in-law. She’s a lesbian, although she preferred “Christian struggling with same-sex attraction”, and I’m attracted to both men and women. I got sick of being told how awful and wrong I was.
She was obviously having a hard time with her identity, swinging between total celibacy and trying to force relationships with men twice her age, and periods where she would give up completely and binge on unsafe craigslist hookups. (Nothing wrong with casual intercourse, but going to strangers’ houses without telling anyone where you’re going and ignoring any and all red flags is a problem.)
I tried to be a stable friend when she needed it and not to judge too much about what she was going through. She knew my position on all of this and I won’t say we never disagreed. But I figured it was her choice to accept it or reject it.
But man, she did not hold back in return. During the times she was trying to be celibate she had no issue telling me that I only liked women because of daddy issues and because I was trying to emulate “adult” stars. And during the times she was sleeping around she had no issue trashing women she encountered that had an orientation similar to mine.
One time she broke up with a girl entirely because that girl had had a boyfriend in the past and she didn’t want to be anywhere a man had been. And when I questioned that reasoning (what adult believes in cooties?) she told me I wouldn’t understand and my attraction to women doesn’t count because I was in a committed relationship with a man (her brother) so my queerness was “over now”.
Everyone I’ve talked to about the situation has said she probably needed a shoulder to cry on and to get away from the church influence, but man I cannot be that person.
She has switched churches before because the one she was attending wasn’t sufficiently anti-gay. And at this point, she is the unhealthy influence, and I will not listen to her anymore.
We had a fight over something else and when it came time to reconcile I just….let the distance stay.
39. Keeping Score
My grandmother liked to treat her children and grandchildren as collector’s items. She even had a little tree with snowmen on her mantel with each of our names on them—but there was a twisted side to it.
When she was mad at you your snowman would disappear for that Christmas.
Everything revolved around talking about our accomplishments as if she was the cause for them, and it was very draining to be around her.
We no longer speak, but the last Christmas card I got from her said “Sorry you don’t want to be around us anymore” so that was nice.
40. The Disappearing Aunt Dawn
Let’s see, between the fact that she destroyed evidence that would’ve helped convict her mom’s then-husband of taking advantage of her cousin.
She illegally took her three kids halfway across the country while divorcing her first husband, to keep him from getting custody.
She kept lying to my parents about why she and the kids showed up at their apartment in the middle of the night (see above).
Plus refusing to get a job or parent her kids for months while they lived with my parents, who had just gotten married a year before and weren’t super well off at the time
And lastly, she disappeared without a trace—leaving her kids behind with my parents, vanishing from all of our lives for 15 years, and then showing up when her mother was dying to demand money and her inheritance.
So that’s why we don’t talk to Aunt Dawn anymore.
I didn’t know I even had an aunt until I was 12 when I found family photos of her with my dad and uncles. I thought my grandmother had only had four boys because those were the people we talked to.
41. Holier Than Who, Exactly
My dad sold illicit substances to kids at church and lied to his folks so he could sponge off them for a living for eons. He committed identity theft against his own elderly dad. Lied to his adopted kid and said they were formally adopted when they were not. All because he wanted the monthly foster check.
He also ran a Ponzi scheme in his church, and married bigamously in that same church after abandoning his family & getting them evicted from their house with 24 hours’ notice…
All while playing holier than thou Evangelical Dad.
42. The Baseless Personal Vendetta
We stopped conversing with her several months ago, for many reasons. But the main one was her vendetta against me in particular. Here are a few examples of how much she loves me: She told my parents it was their fault that I have autism. She said she wanted to hit me for the way my friends and I talk to each other. (“Too casual, proper young ladies don’t talk like that even to their closest friends, etc”).
When I experienced an episode of sensory overload and a subsequent panic attack, she told my mom that I was obviously faking it because I wanted attention. She told my dad to punish me for vomiting. He didn’t, thankfully, because he is a decent parent. Seriously, if you think it’s okay to punish kids for being sick, please don’t have kids.
She had a hissy fit upon finding out that my best friend is Hispanic. The family member is VERY prejudiced and tried so hard to get me to sever ties with my best friend. I’m proud to say that my bestie and I are still going strong, after 7 years of friendship. She constantly used her religious beliefs to try and justify her blatant hate. Literally, everything is a sin in her eyes. I’m sure she even considers blinking to be a sin.
Anyway, my whole family is going to suffer eternal damnation, if you ask her.
43. Blood Isn’t Always Thicker
My brother met a women that totally had him do whatever she said.
He quit his well-paying job. He doesn’t get to have his own phone and he isn’t allowed to talk to me alone because “I try to get ideas in his head that she is no good”. He always asks for money from our retired parents for food, gas, and you name what else. But here’s why it makes me so mad.
They won $100k in some lottery and the money was gone in three months. She bought cars for friends and family on her side. They didn’t pay a single debt that they already collected before.
I tried to talk to him. But he just got angry with me. So…we don’t talk anymore.
44. The Final Straw
When I was a teenager I was having difficulties getting along with my mom. So my parents decided the best this for me would be to stay with my aunt and uncle while mom and I did counseling to mend the relationship. Big mistake.
Fast forward about a month in I received a phone call late one night and it absolutely set my aunt and uncle off as they’d been drinking and it was a bit late. Like 10:30-11:00 or something like that. I apologized and said it wouldn’t happen again.
The next morning they sat me down and I tried to explain I can’t control when my friends call to which my uncle replied that if anyone ever calls that late again he’d rip the phone out of the wall and beat me with it. Needless to say I called my parents and said I’d like to come home. Haven’t spoken to him since.
45. Code Of Silence
I went through a hard break-up this year. My dad knew the whole story, but mom never even met him. My ex and I had been together two and a half years. Anyway, I was super sad. Then September comes along and I get fired from my job.
I’m stressed but trying to keep it together. My dad calls and for once I didn’t want to talk about what had happened. There was no point to relive it all, so I said “ I don’t want to talk about it” and was kind of short with my answers, so we hung up.
I finally found a job two weeks later in another city. I was staying with my mom, who he detests. That’s when he sent me a WhatsApp message out of the blue. What it said was devastating.
He wrote: “You know? I’m tired of your telenovela life, you reap what you sow, and you deserve what you get. You will end up alone just like your mother”.
I was shocked. All I responded was: “Wow, the ONE time I don’t want to talk about something and you tell me all this”? I haven’t spoken to him since then.
46. Can’t Escape Them
I cut off my sister for so many reasons. I finally went no contact after I found out she started dating my really awful ex. Just another attempt to hurt me, I guess. What really sucks is that she rents the other side of the duplex I live in, and I see him over here almost every day.
47. The Cold Shoulder
My aunt blamed me for my great-grandmother’s death, right to my face, when I hadn’t seen my grandmother for two weeks. But somehow, it’s my fault.
That aunt has since tried to talk to me. That’s when I gave her a taste of her own medicine. I was at work and I completely just stared at her blankly and pretended I never met her in my life. Just stonewalled her.
I had a name tag that clearly said my name there was no getting around it was me. But I just kept telling her: “Ma’am I have no idea what you’re talking about, I have to get back to work”, in the most robotic blank voice possible and I walked away.
She followed me. I just kept repeating when she would try to talk to me, and I just kept walking. She came into my work and did this a few times and I kept doing the same exact thing. She hasn’t bothered me since.
48. Aunt Karen
My aunt is a massive Karen, and always has to control everything. I just had a baby a couple of months ago and for weeks before the birth she was freaking out on me, screaming at me, calling me every name in the book, and making threats all. The reason why was unhinged. It was because she didn’t get to be in the delivery room. We were only allowed 1-2 people and why would I pick her anyway?
The day before the birth she told me that she refused to watch my older son while I was in the hospital and so I did what she told me to and found someone else to do it. This made her lose it more and she continued screaming at me, making threats, and calling me every name in the book. We even collected all the curse words we know like trading cards from her messages.
Throughout the entire birth (which didn’t go all that well) she was sending all family members nasty messages and voicemails, and even sent us a series of pictures of her crying face.
She kept trying to make everything about her. She refused to come to visit the hospital, then claimed I was banning her. Refused to come to the coming home party. Refused to visit any other time and then claimed I was keeping her from seeing the baby.
She “apologized” and then the next day immediately started the same stunt again. She did the same sending everyone nasty messages all through Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. . .
It’s absolutely exhausting and I just do not want to deal with it and it baffles me how someone can act like that, especially during a birth that was going wrong and we could have easily lost me or the baby.
She just doesn’t understand that nobody cared about her and her shenanigans at that moment.
49. Family Mix-Up
Before my dad married my mum, he supposedly had a child with his ex and had custody over him. That child became my older brother until I was around 8 or 9 years old. I always remember every night there would be some kind of argument at the dinner table. He was in that rebellious teenager phase. But he still cared about me and my brother as any other sibling would.
That being said he was also really rough and mean and nearly broke my nose once on the stairs (I was so young I forgot why but I remember my mum getting mad at him).
Then it all hit the fan. I don’t exactly remember much but I remember him staying with my grandparents on my dad’s side since they spoiled him so much. Not long after that, we distanced ourselves from the entirety of my dad’s side.
It was only a couple of years ago that we found out the disturbing truth. He was never my dad’s son to begin with, which was really confusing and heartbreaking for my dad.
It’s kind of awkward and rude to talk about it since it wasn’t the most popular topic.
And since we distanced ourselves from my dad’s side, I never got to know many of my relatives until I got to high school and made friends with another girl—at the end of the year it turns out that that girl and her sister were our second cousins. Makes the realization awkward when she tried flirting with me a couple of times that year. Both of us never even knew.
50. From Heartbreaking To Infuriating
My cousin had a kid at 16, but it died suddenly in its sleep after six months. Those 6 months were absolutely awful for her and her mom. I felt terrible—but then she decided that she wanted a second kid when she was 18.
Now she’s pregnant with kid number 4, at 21. She and her husband who she argues with every other week of the month are living with her mom. Her mom is the only one that works. So everyone else has to chip in to make sure the kids are eating well.
She, of course, isn’t actually helping at all. She’s bipolar but doesn’t take her meds. She and her husband decide they want to move or break up every other week. She has been thrown behind bars multiple times for petty stuff, and once for assault. She spent a few months behind bars, even. She got paroled for good behavior, then proceeded to go AWOL.
They decided to give her an ankle monitor instead of jailing her again, because she was a mom of two at the time. Well, she cut the ankle monitor off to go to Cuba with her father, who is estranged from her mother and doesn’t help with his grandchildren. Because that guy is just a grade A piece of trash.
Now they’re all living in a one-bedroom apartment. We’ve blocked her and her husband on our phones and any social media they know of. They’ve of course called themselves the victims on Facebook. Tried to do a GoFundMe, then hurled unkind words at everyone when it only got $300, which is still helpful.
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