Did you know that married couples live longer? It's true: research shows that married people enjoy better health than single people. They tend to live longer, have fewer health complications, and are more likely to survive a major operation—and those are just a few of the underrated advantages of marriage. These couples shed some light on the smaller things that make marriage so great. From codependence to feeling comfortable to having someone to share household chores with, these are some of the underrated advantages of being married.
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Having someone else who knows your habits so when you lose things or do something stupid, they can come to your rescue in the most efficient way possible. You do it for them too.
#2 Shared History
Honestly? People don’t get how amazing a shared history can be. Picture a bad phone call from your parent. You hang up and are in a complicated emotional funk. Being married often means your spouse not only knew this was coming, they know the next seven stages of emotional turmoil/calming/hilarity that will ensue and they roll with it. A good wife or husband normalizes your neurosis and keeps you on an even keel just by having been there throughout.
#3 Picking Up the Slack
When one of you doesn’t have your stuff together (sick, really stressed, lost a loved one), the other picks up the slack and keeps you sane. It’s teamwork in general. It’s basically doing life on easy mode if you choose the right partner.
#4 Having a Second Person
The other person is there to pick up the slack when you can't do it anymore. Times I've been too sick to cook he will grab what is needed from the store and make soup. His dad has cancer and it's easy for him to visit his dad out of state because I can just stay here and handle things while he's gone, rather than us having to worry about finding someone to watch the house and board the dogs, which if we had to do each time it would make the visits a lot more expensive and less frequent. It's just nice to have someone you can count on who has your best interest at heart.
#5 Comfortable Silence
Having a person you can sit with and not have to talk. "Comfortable silence," as Mrs. Mia Wallace might say.
#6 Making Good Decisions
Being forced to make good relationship decisions because you do really love that person even when they annoy you. Something about "marriage" made me take a breath when something annoyed or upset me, and I often think, "Is this worth being upset? Is this where I'll damage my marriage?" and the answer is always no. Then, I continue along with my decent life.
#7 Laying in Bed
Laying in bed before going to sleep and just laughing with each other about jokes and stuff.
#8 Back Scratches
Back scratching. And, having a good excuse to bail when work asks you to stay late or come in early: "Sure! I'm down as long as my wife is okay with it!" Then, after some time has passed ostensibly for you to call her, you just say, "Man, you know that I would totally be there, but, the wife has already made plans for us all day... Sorry!"
...That's the most underrated part of the deal in my opinion.
#9 Inside Jokes
The inside jokes.
#10 New Interests
Being able to know someone so well and be known so well that when you suggest things to each other, you’re almost guaranteed to like them. My husband has introduced me to so many movies, TV shows, books, musicians, podcasts, etc. that I never thought I’d enjoy but I LOVE! And vice versa. It’s a big part of our relationship and I don’t hear others talk about it at all.
#11 Blah Blah
Being able to clearly communicate without using intelligible words or sentences. Over the last few years, sometimes it’s just random nosies.
Becoming so codependent on someone you don’t remember how to sleep alone anymore. I don’t know why I like it so much, it might sound weird. But there’s just something about being so permanently tied with someone. They become such a part of you. You can’t imagine it any other way. And when one is out of town, or working a lot, or whatever, you realize how much you’ve grown to rely on them and the rush of gratitude and intimacy you feel is uniquely satisfying. I always think of that scene in 500 Days of Summer when the friend is talking about his wife and says, “No, she’s not the woman of my dreams. She’s better, cause she’s real.” Hits home. I’m gonna go hug my wife now.
#13 Team Approach
The team approach to every situation. "You get the table, I'll place the order," or "You get the seats, I'll get the popcorn and sodas," or "You put kid one to bed and I'll take kid two." Plus, always getting to order the best two things on the menu and sharing.
#14 Laugh Crying
Laughing because your spouse is giggling to the point of crying. My husband and I find a lot of the same things funny, but when he finds something extremely funny and can’t stop laughing it just makes me laugh too. Sometimes when we watch comedies we have to pause for laugh breaks so we don’t miss anything.
#15 Double Income
Two incomes. It makes a massive difference in lifestyle, but it is mentioned far less often than the emotional aspects.
#16 Dirty Work
Someone to do the dirty work you can't deal with. My husband can't handle puke, so when dogs or kids inevitably spew everywhere I've got that. On the other hand, one day we found a mouse in our bed and I fled screaming and crying (I was pregnant and a bit emotionally charged). My husband dealt with the mouse and cleaned up.
At 44 years in, the best part is comfort. Feeling SO comfortable with her.
#18 Love Language is Sandwiches
Sitting in bed on a Sunday afternoon and hearing some banging about in the kitchen. And then fifteen minutes later, he comes in and gives me a sandwich. A huge beautiful glorious greasy egg and bacon sandwich. My ex used to go into the kitchen, fry up all the bacon, and then stand at the pan and eat it all... and then be absolutely befuddled when our six kids and I would ask if he had saved or cooked any for us. It was for meeee! It was just a snaaack! It was all the bacon we had! So clearly mate selection is key and making sure their love language is sandwiches.
Being comfortable enough to be so, so weird and goofy together. A ton of our interactions with each other at home would be enormously embarrassing to have anyone else witness, but we have a great time!
I'm 63 she is 52. We've been together 32-ish years and been married 29! My favorite is when I am sitting at the kitchen table and she enters the room or she could be in the room. When we meet eyes, it is a smile for both of us. Understand it's not a tooth full laughing smile, but a closed mouth big smile that tells you I LOVE YOU TOO!
#21 No Dating
Not having to date around anymore!
Travel. And having traveled together. I'm sure journeys are very enjoyable even by yourself, but having someone else with whom you share the experiences, the wow moments, the beautiful vistas, the unique experiences, the museums, the architecture—it makes it richer for both of you.
#23 Big Spoon
As a woman, I would say being big spoon is very underrated. It's much less constricting than being little spoon, it keeps your tummy warm, and of course, it's a nice way to express affection.
#24 Lifes Challenges
For me, I suffer from anxiety and depression. I don’t even need to say anything to my wife. She just knows if I’m not feeling “good” and will sit and cuddle with me which 99.9 percent of the time changes my mood. It’s the little things, just knowing you have someone by your side to work with you through life’s challenges.
#25 Sharing Germs
When you both get sick at the same time and you get to watch several days worth of horrible movies together while sharing one tub of vap-o-rub. Bonus: since you’re both already sick you don’t have to worry about not sharing germs.
#26 The Fights
The fights. It's like you've got a second pair of eyes on your decisions. Loving, invested, and judgmental. You know when you're making a bad choice. And if the marriage is right, if you both respect each other, it's great. It's not an anti-friend pointing out your shortcomings to elevate their own status. It's not a teacher taking out personal frustrations on someone who can't talk back. It's someone who cares deeply, who wants what's best for the both of you, expecting a better version.
I hear other people talk about their conflict-free relationships, and I can't stand it. I would never be with a woman too blind to find my faults, and I especially wouldn't tolerate a woman too meek to communicate them. Marriage shouldn't make you happy, it should make you better, and that should make you happy. Find someone you can spar with.
#27 Cat Cuddles
Sometimes if your cat is cuddled up on your lap but you need something from another room, you can ask your spouse to get it for you without having to disturb your comfy cozy cat.
Getting wrinkles. Teasing them about the wrinkles. Arguing and feeling safe about disagreeing with them. Being completely unable to sleep without your own personal “white noise machine." Holding hands. Whining about doing dishes. Meals with the in-laws and playing bingo. Making up silly games with the other. Farting in public and blaming them.
#29 Talking About Other People
Talking smack about other people together.
Finding someone who fills in all your shortcomings, and whose shortcomings you are perfectly suited to fill. My wife is a god damn superstar at planning things. Once she’s got a vacation, or an event, or any other kind of plan in mind, she absolutely owns it from top to bottom. However, if one little thing goes wrong, she can lose her mind and not know how to react or pivot. She’s the long-term, I’m the short-term, and when our powers combine, we’re one fully-functioning adult!
#31 A Personal Investigator
Having someone else investigate the strange noise. I get very cold at night and my husband is a human furnace. So now I don’t need two blankets, socks, and long sleeves. Having someone else to push the stupid cart at the grocery store.
#32 Saying I Love You
Unconditional love. Saying "I love you" as often as you both want and it never gets old it never gets corny or monotonous and you don't feel like its losing its meaning ever. I say "I love you" to my wife at the most random times like when we're sitting and watching TV. I'll say "I love you" she says "I love you too". Or she'll just look over at me no matter what we're doing and say "I love you" and I respond in kind. We've been doing this for four years and it always feels new. I love being married to my wife.
Tag-team embarrassing your kids: "Hey, honey, let's wear our matching Disney t-shirts out to dinner tonight!"
#34 "My Wife"
Not having so say “fiance” anymore. It sounds pretentious.
#35 Having Someone to Find Your Things
The little things. I lose things like crazy so when we are at the airport, I just hand over any paper to him AND HE TAKES IT. Get this, he then knows to do something with it so I don't have to. When we're shopping, he carries my bags without asking. If I go outside to take the trash and it just is too long, he comes right out looking for me. When his check engine light comes on, I just take care of it because he doesn't speak car. It's amazing if you stop and list the things.
When you both make the same stupid pun at the same time and laugh like fools. Also playing video and board games together.
#37 No More Having to Choose!
Having someone to split breakfast orders with at restaurants: No more choosing between sweet and savoury, you can have it all!
#38 Weird Habits
I get that the whole butterflies at the beginning is nice but not always having to keep up the appeal is really nice. Not saying I let myself go, but I can be me without fear of judgment. He knows all my weird habits and I his, we don't have to hide that from each other. If I'm having an off day, instead of feeling like I look like terrible, he says I'm beautiful like any other day. It's just nice that I fully satisfy him with my prescience alone and vice versa.
#39 Spousal Exuses
Using your spouse as an excuse to get out of things, as long as your spouse is cool with it.
#40 Believing in Someone
Having someone who believes in you when you’re not sure you believe in yourself. I can’t even tell you how much more confident and successful I am simply because my wife says things like: “You are amazing. You can do anything.” Even when I feel like I am not particularly good at ANYTHING.
#41 Going to Sleep
Going to sleep every night with someone you love.
#42 Increasing Lifespan
I am genuinely going to live longer because my wife makes me go to the doctor when I’m sick. I am terrified of doctors and really hate the expense, so on my own I put it off as long as possible or just don’t go. But my wife won’t take no for an answer; she doesn’t hesitate to step in and insist that it is PAST time I see someone about something.
And—just as good—she always offers to come with me when I go. I don’t always take her up on it, but she always offers and that alone makes me feel better/braver. I know there are stats floating around about how married men live longer, possibly partly for this reason. While I am not a man, I can 110 percent vouch that having a wife can measurably increase one’s life span. So that’s my underrated thought—increases lifespan.
#43 Someone Who Has Observed Your Life
I have someone who has observed 30 years of my life and still loves me. There’s a gravity to her presence that would be near impossible to match.
#44 Someone Who Can Check You
Having someone that can check you in a respectful and loving way. Do I smell weird? Is my hair messed up? Did I say "uh" too many times when we role played for a job interview? My husband is always honest with me and I need that grounding in my life. It's amazing.
#45 Calling You Out
A very underrated part of marriage is having someone who will call you out and you know they just want you to be the best person you can be.