People Share The Biggest Red Flags To Watch Out For When Meeting New People

People Share The Biggest Red Flags To Watch Out For When Meeting New People


November 25, 2019 | Eul Basa

People Share The Biggest Red Flags To Watch Out For When Meeting New People


Getting to know someone can be exciting. You learn about each other's interests, quirks, and what makes each of you tick. But if you're seeing red flags instead of sparks, it may be a bad sign. So how do you recognize when something is off? These people reveal the biggest warning signs to look out for when meeting new people.

people-2568645_1280Pixabay

Don't forget to check the comment section below the article for more interesting stories!

#1 They Don't Pay Attention

They don't really listen to you or pay attention to what you're talking about, but expect you to be totally engaged with whatever they say and act put out if you aren't.

couple-4495756_1280Pixabay

Advertisement

#2 They're Negative and Jealous

A lot of people will say something along the lines of, "When they say negative things about others," (which I agree with) but for me, a huge red flag is when someone can't let someone else receive praise or be the centre of attention. I've met people in the past who have shown small signs of jealousy when I've praised mutual friends, siblings, strangers, etc. and in each case, it was indicative of bigger jealousy and self-esteem issues.

Happy couple embracing at sunset in the natureCanva

Advertisement

#3 One-Ups

When they try to one-up you in everything you say.

Canva - Selective Focus Photo of Couple Stands Behind Green Tree at DaytimeCanva

Advertisement

#4 How They Treat Employees

How they treat waiters, cashiers, janitors, bus drivers and everyone in the service industry. A coworker friend of mine left a bunch of trash at the cinema after we finished watching a movie. I angrily picked up his trash, chased him and told him to throw it away at the bin three meters outside of the cinema. I couldn't look at him the same way again.

pizza-carton-4158098_1280Pixabay

Advertisement

#5 Critical of Others

When they're judgmental and critical of others, but never of themselves.

Guy Man Girl People Coffee Talking Dating WomanMax Pixel

Advertisement

#6 They're Unaware

If they are unaware of people around them in a social sense. They don't thank service staff or they stand in the middle of crowded walkways and not move out of the way of others. Congratulations, you have made friends with a toddler! This is not the biggest of red flags. Just ones that have recently upset me.

businesswoman-cafe-communication-computer-concentrated-connection-1435853-pxhere.comPxHere

Advertisement

#7 They Don't Listen

They don't listen to what you say and respond accordingly, they only wait for you to stop talking so they can talk about whatever they want to talk about.

Canva - Man Holding Orange Plastic CupCanva

Advertisement

#8 Problem Child

One of my bosses once told me that whenever you start a new job, the first person who tries really hard to be your friend is usually the problem child of the office. They'll start telling you about the people to avoid as well. I've found this very, very useful.

Smile Office Business Discussion People MeetingMax Pixel

Advertisement

#9 Pyramid Scheme

When they start talking about the tons of money I am going to be making with their new business venture in selling whatever door to door.

beard-blurred-background-close-up-coin-currency-euro-1529961-pxhere.comPxHere

Advertisement

#10 A Revolving Door

Usually, when people speak of having a lot of people in their life that somehow turned on them and now they don't speak anymore. I remember one old coworker would become super fast friends with someone, then within weeks they wouldn't take to them anymore. Once, I'll accept. Even twice. But when it's four or five times over... guess what? It's not everyone else.

blurred-background-colleagues-digital-device-discussing-eyewear-facial-expression-1536115-pxhere.comPxHere

Advertisement

#11 Asking to Borrow Money

When you barely know them and they act like your best friend...then later they ask to borrow money.

euro-hand-bank-note-banknote-money-wallpaper-previewPeakpx

Advertisement

#12 Word Choice

Their word choice. People who refer to anyone by a derogatory term pertaining to them is likely a bad friend. If we're already friends and they use it jokingly, that's different. But people complaining about others using derogatory terms are almost always people I don't want to hang out with.

man-person-woman-photography-fashion-yellow-180040-pxhere.comPxHere

Advertisement

#13 Alligator Tears

When the first thing they tell you about themselves is all the hardship and unfairness in their lives.

People Disagreement Sorry Young Sad ConflictMax Pixel

Advertisement

#14 They Lie About Their Age

I have only ever met two men who lied to me about their ages (that I'm aware of) when we met. Both of these men turned out to be extremely unpleasant and abusive people. I think people who lie easily even over trivial things tend to have very complex psychological problems and are best steered clear of.

couple-1845620_1280Pixabay

Advertisement

#15 Can't Take No

If they can't take no for an answer.

adult-chairs-chat-couple-date-daylight-1516095-pxhere.comPxHere

Advertisement

#16 They Pretend

They try to project their voice as loudly as possible to overplay their actual feebleness.

people-2561578_1280Pixabay

Advertisement

#17 Together Out of Obligation

Subtle signs that they aren’t remotely interested in you and the only way you two are together is because of an obligation or favor. People change their tune often when they have to conceal their feelings of disdain for someone.

people-2943063_1280Needpix

Advertisement

#18 They Cancel Plans Last Minute

A few red flags for me are: They flake or cancel plans at the last minute constantly without reason; they rant about their personal problems and don't talk to you at all about common interests; they never have money on them but ask you to take them around to places; they start drama such as fights with you or others; when emergency situations happen, they're nowhere to be found or heard from.

hand-man-person-finger-telephone-communication-933434-pxhere.comPxHere

Advertisement

#19 They're Too Blunt

"People think I'm annoying, but I'm really just blunt and tell the truth. They can't handle that." Nah, chances are you're just annoying.

two-women-and-man-sitting-down-on-benchPiqsels

Advertisement

#20 Monopolizing the Conversation

When they monopolize a conversation, when they steer the conversation so that you end up being shown a phone full of photos, when they engage in a whole monologue about their health or relationship issues, when they brag a lot if not about themselves then their family members.

woman-and-man-looking-at-golf-balls-1325730Pexels

Advertisement

#21 Too Much Information

Too much information too quickly. People who divulge too much about themselves from the offset generally have poor boundary issues. I speak from experience. I am a recovering poor boundary haver.

bored-16811_1280Pixabay

Advertisement

#22 They Complain

People who gossip or complain about mutual friends or coworkers. You may feel special that they want to share this with you, and curious about what they are talking about, but they are likely saying the same type of things about you to everyone else. It's a similar situation with people who complain about their exes to you when you're dating. You will probably become another person they complain about to the next person they are dating.

frustrated-2681484_1280Pixabay

Advertisement

#23 They're the Victim

You immediately start hearing from them about all the time about how other people have hurt them, betrayed them, or otherwise been terrible to them. If everyone you encounter is a terrible person, chances are, you're the terrible person.

Grimace_2(1)Wikimedia Commons

Advertisement

#24 Three-Strike Rule

When they have “rules” for their life that they expect others to abide to. “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” kind of thing. The first time I met one of my old roommates, she told me she had a “three-strike rule” with people and then she was done with them forever. Everyone has general rules of thumb in life, but to take the time to essentially announce this to people you’re meeting is more or less of a warning about you.

Young couple with the love problems sitting in the city parkCanva

Advertisement

#25 Belittling Their People

Belittling their SO in front of people but insisting its a joke every time! Sadly in this situation, I used to be the belittled SO.

2093792440_6239164b7d_oFlickr

Advertisement

#26 Rambling On

If they keep talking, rambling or ummm-ing and don't let you get a word in (because conversations involve two or more people right?), making you "politely interject" more than once. If they start a monologue, you're no longer a participant in the conversation; you've become a hostage.

girl-1012862_1280Needpix

Advertisement

#27 No Filter

"Sorry, I have no filter!"

Canva - Man Standing in Front of Woman(1)Canva

Advertisement

#28 Leading With Trauma

People who lead with their trauma. None of that makes that person unique nor will it excuse their bad behavior, which almost without fail, will follow. I’m specifically referring to people that tell you about all of the ways they’ve been traumatized within an hour of meeting them. In no way do I think people should never talk about their traumas. Please go find a therapist. It’s important. That said, it’s a bit much and assumes a lot about the person you’re trying to become acquainted with to think your trauma is unique when you’re having an opening conversation. No one gets through life without trauma.

Canva - Man Wearing Heather-gray Crew-neck ShirtCanva

Advertisement

#29 Not Interested in You

When they only talk about themselves.

Canva - Man and Woman Sitting on Chair in Front of DeskCanva

Advertisement

#30 Wanting to Go Out

When they say, "We should go out and get tipsy tonight," even though you just met. Mate, we literally just met two minutes ago. I don't even know your name and I am not going to make myself vulnerable through alcohol with you at night in a dodgy town that I've never been too just because we have the same phone.

Canva - Grayscale Photography of Man Standing Beside WomanCanva

Advertisement

#31 Ignoring Red Flags

Let's be honest. We often see these red flags but deliberately push on to form a relationship. If the relationship goes bust, we critique ourselves for not heeding the warning signs. This is an unjust self-criticism.

Canva - Silhouette of Man and WomanCanva

Advertisement

#32 Treating People Badly

Making disparaging remarks about other people or treating service people like they are beneath contempt. Sometimes I will call them out and say, "Why do you want to talk that way about her/him?" or, "Why would you treat a server like that?" This can start a whole conversation about negative behavior. Sometimes they just get upset and sometimes they make fun of ME but I like to hope that every once in a great while, someone gives it a second thought.

Canva - Man And Woman Wearing Brown Leather Jackets(1)Canva

Advertisement

#33 Specific Tattoos

More than two tattoo teardrops.

1280px-Lil_WayneWikipedia

Advertisement

#34 Instant Best Friends

If they tell that you're their best friends within the first week of meeting them... run. This is one of the first red flags to recognize an individual with a narcissistic personality disorder. It's counter-intuitive if you're not familiar with the disorder, but basically it's an indicator that the "love phase" has begun. Run. Clinical narcissists are dangerous people.

23245874391_1c90101d69_oFlickr

Advertisement

#35 Putting Your Opinions Down

When they constantly put down other people's opinions even in a "nice" way and they believe that only their way of thinking is right. They always say, "Yeah but..." or "Actually, I think..."

Canva - Man Standing Beside Man Holding Gray Club(1)Canva

Advertisement

#36 How They Treat Retail Staff

I feel like this is a basic one but, as someone who works in food service and has worked in retail as well, gaging how people treat customer service employees is a good judge of character for me. Showing patience and understanding when an employee messes up or something out of their control happens is a good character trait in my eyes.

Canva - Man Standing in Front of Food Stall(1)Canva

Advertisement

#37 Hard Handshakes

When they shake your hand way too hard. Like what the heck! I still remember you, Ben, you whackjob.

Canva - Shaking Hands After Selling a House(1)Canva

Advertisement

#38 Can't Remember Names

If they don’t even attempt to remember my easy name. I understand that some people are bad with names but I hate when I meet someone new and all night they are calling me something different, then they laugh and say, “I’m so bad with names, I’m just going to call you Suzy from now on.”Like, no, I’m not Suzy.

3460436086_89c12ec969_kFlickr

Advertisement

#39 Obnoxious About Names

I have an unusual name. I don’t mind when people ask me to repeat it, or even when they awkwardly ask about its origin (my dad is an immigrant), but when they’re obnoxious about it, that’s usually a good indication that they wouldn't make a good friend.

Canva - Man and Woman Sitting on HayCanva

Advertisement

#40 Facades

The biggest thing when meeting new people, for me, is to go with my gut. If it looks like there's nothing behind their eyes, there probably isn't. If they seem like they're faking being a nice person, they probably are. Most people can't keep up a fake facade totally. The clues will be there. Your gut is probably right when it comes to meeting someone new.

photography-of-a-man-and-woman-laughing-1165609Pexels

Advertisement

#41 Bringing Up Topics Out of Nowhere

When they bring up topics out of nowhere just so they can spout their opinions and not actually have a conversation. It's very telling about their personality.

couple-sitting-by-the-river-in-daytonGood Free Photos

Advertisement

#42 Has No Friends

If you meet someone who has absolutely no friends from more than a year ago and high-drama relationships with family members, that person is going to turn out to be an absolute drama llama. They don't need to have had the same bestie since kindergarten, but if they have NO cordial friends from growing up, high school, college, work, the last place they lived? That's because they're cutting a swathe of disaster through other people's lives and alienating everyone who gets close to them.

man-person-light-window-city-alone-1169900-pxhere.comPxHere

Advertisement

#43 Rude to Waiters

When they're instantly rude to waiters or strangers.

cuisine-2703164_1280Pixabay

Advertisement

#44 Lying

Lying. Lying about big things or small things. We just met and you're lying to me?

people-2585627_1280Pixabay

Advertisement

#45 Constantly Late

People that are not considerate with your time. Being five minutes late every so often isn't a big deal but when people are consistently 20 minutes late and make people wait, that's an issue.

Water Girl Alone Sitting Waiting Woman PeopleMax Pixel

Advertisement


READ MORE

Retirement Planning Internal3

10 Brilliant And Fun Ways To Beef Up Your Retirement Bankroll

Discover ten fun and easy strategies to boost your retirement income. Transform your golden years into an exciting new phase of life with these practical financial tips. Dive into dividend-paying stocks, explore peer-to-peer lending, consider annuities, and more. Add a twist to your retirement planning and make your relaxation years even more rewarding.
September 15, 2023 Allison Robertson
Cheap Hobbies Internal

Beat the Cold Without Burning Cash: Unique Indoor Hobbies on a Budget

Discover 15 unique and budget-friendly indoor hobbies perfect for the cold winter months. From DIY crafting to culinary experiments, this guide offers creative ways to stay entertained without straining your wallet. Dive into these cost-effective pastimes and make the most of your indoor time.
September 15, 2023 Allison Robertson

The True Cost of Cheap: Why Opting for Lower Prices Now Might Cost You Later

Explore the unforeseen pitfalls and hidden costs of opting for cheaper products. This in-depth article unravels the financial, ethical, and personal impacts of choosing lower-priced items and provides alternatives to help you make savvy, sustainable spending decisions, ensuring your choices are economical and ethical in the long run.
October 15, 2023 Miles Brucker
Toys R Us

44 Famous Names That Built Empires Then Watched Them Crumble

Big business once meant household names and logos etched into memory. But dominance doesn’t guarantee survival. The marketplace turned, and these corporate giants stayed still.
June 18, 2025 Jane O'Shea

Top 10 Careers of 2023: Where Opportunity Meets Demand

Discover the top 10 best jobs of 2023, encompassing sectors like technology, healthcare, renewable energy, and digital marketing. Learn about the roles, salaries, and reasons why these jobs stand out in today's evolving job market, offering exciting opportunities for professionals across various industries.
November 20, 2023 Allison Robertson

The Most Dangerous Jobs in the World

Discover the 15 most dangerous jobs in the world, and how much they pay. Learn about danger pay, PPE, and the risks associated with each job.
December 12, 2023 Allison Robertson


Disclaimer

The information on MoneyMade.com is intended to support financial literacy and should not be considered tax or legal advice. It is not meant to serve as a forecast, research report, or investment recommendation, nor should it be taken as an offer or solicitation to buy or sell any securities or adopt any particular investment strategy. All financial, tax, and legal decisions should be made with the help of a qualified professional. We do not guarantee the accuracy, timeliness, or outcomes associated with the use of this content.





Dear reader,


It’s true what they say: money makes the world go round. In order to succeed in this life, you need to have a good grasp of key financial concepts. That’s where Moneymade comes in. Our mission is to provide you with the best financial advice and information to help you navigate this ever-changing world. Sometimes, generating wealth just requires common sense. Don’t max out your credit card if you can’t afford the interest payments. Don’t overspend on Christmas shopping. When ordering gifts on Amazon, make sure you factor in taxes and shipping costs. If you need a new car, consider a model that’s easy to repair instead of an expensive BMW or Mercedes. Sometimes you dream vacation to Hawaii or the Bahamas just isn’t in the budget, but there may be more affordable all-inclusive hotels if you know where to look.


Looking for a new home? Make sure you get a mortgage rate that works for you. That means understanding the difference between fixed and variable interest rates. Whether you’re looking to learn how to make money, save money, or invest your money, our well-researched and insightful content will set you on the path to financial success. Passionate about mortgage rates, real estate, investing, saving, or anything money-related? Looking to learn how to generate wealth? Improve your life today with Moneymade. If you have any feedback for the MoneyMade team, please reach out to [email protected]. Thanks for your help!


Warmest regards,

The Moneymade team