I agreed to stay home with the kids, but now my husband says I didn’t “earn” half our assets during the divorce settlement talks. What now?

I agreed to stay home with the kids, but now my husband says I didn’t “earn” half our assets during the divorce settlement talks. What now?


December 23, 2025 | Peter Kinney

I agreed to stay home with the kids, but now my husband says I didn’t “earn” half our assets during the divorce settlement talks. What now?


What’s At Stake

You gave up a paycheck to raise the kids and keep the household going. Now that you’re facing divorce, your spouse is claiming that means you didn’t earn half the assets. That feels like betrayal. But in the U.S., income isn’t the only factor that courts take into consideration. You have legal rights and many different possible paths to a fair settlement. Let’s check out your options.

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Marital Property

In most U.S. states, assets earned or accumulated over the course of the marriage belong to both spouses. That means savings, the marital home, retirement contributions, and investments often belong to both of you equally, even if there was only one spouse earning income during that time.

Elderly couple smiling together on a couch.Vitaly Gariev, Unsplash

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Community Property Vs Equitable Distribution States

U.S. states follow either community‑property rules or equitable‑distribution rules. Community property often means a 50‑50 split, while equitable distribution allows the court to divvy up assets based on what seems fair, after weighing household and parenting contributions.

couple holding bricks simulating the equality between the twoDavid San Segundo, Shutterstock

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Your Non‑Financial Contributions Count

Courts understand that raising children, maintaining the home, and supporting your spouse’s career all help the family to succeed. Even if you didn’t earn a paycheck, your role has financial value that the law recognizes.

stay at home mumMikhail Nilov, Pexels

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Retirement Accounts, Pensions, And Investments

Long‑term assets like retirement savings, pensions, and investment accounts built during the marriage are also typically shared. A divorce doesn’t discount the years you spent supporting your spouse’s ability to earn and save.

Happy european senior couple holding pink piggybank in hands and embracing, sitting on sofa in living room interior, free space. Retirement savings conceptProstock-studio, Shutterstock

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Home Equity And The Marital Home: Shared Assets

Even if the home is in your husband’s name only, you could still have the legal right to a share of the home’s equity. Title ownership doesn’t necessarily determine who gets what after a divorce.

Entrepreneurs, business owners, accountants, real estate agents, focusing on tabletop home models with women using home equity budget calculators to assess their financial risksJirapong Manustrong, Shutterstock

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Don’t Believe Claims That You Didn’t Earn Anything

Monetary income is only part of what keeps a household functioning. Being a stay‑at‑home parent is emotionally, physically, and financially demanding. The court views marriage as an economic partnership, not a one‑person show.

Mom with her son stay at homeGiacomoTerracciano, Shutterstock

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Spousal Support Can Help You Regain Stability

If you put your career on hold to care for children, you could qualify for alimony to help you get back on your feet. The law acknowledges the sacrifices of homemaking and childcare when arriving at the final support amount.

Stay at home mom working on laptop with kid on her lapKaspars Grinvalds, Shutterstock

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Temporary Support During Legal Proceedings

While divorce is underway, courts may award temporary support to cover basic living costs, especially when one spouse has no current income. This helps maintain some measure of stability while negotiations drag on.

Judgment Day: A Family Law Judge at a Divorce Court.Andrey_Popov, Shutterstock

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Long‑Term Asset Division: A Stable Future

Dividing future assets is just as important as splitting up today’s accounts. Make sure pensions, 401(k)s, and other retirement funds are properly handled so you can maintain financial stability long after everything is all said and done with the divorce.

mediationcottonbro studio, Pexels

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Debt And Liabilities Are Divided Too

Just as you share the good assets, you also share the debt. This includes mortgages, loans, and outstanding credit balances. Plan carefully so you won’t be burdened with more than your fair share of responsibility.

Portrait of sad spouses couple signing decree papers getting divorced in lawyers office at desk. Unhappy married man and woman filing divorce, shares or mortgage assets with attorney.Dikushin Dmitry, Shutterstock

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Document The Work You’ve Done

List all the expenses you covered, time spent managing the home, and the career opportunities you missed out on. These records demonstrate the economic value of your domestic contributions during the marriage.

Focused on achieving our goals. a group of businesspeople waiting in line in an office.PeopleImages, Shutterstock

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Negotiation And Mediation

If your spouse is willing to work toward a fair resolution, a settlement agreement outside court may be the way to go. Mediation can be faster and less expensive than a knock-down-drag-out courtroom battle, and you’ll also still protect your rights.

Photo By: Kaboompics.comPhoto By: Kaboompics.com, Pexels

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Know Your State’s Laws Before Accepting Any Settlement

What’s considered fair varies from state to state. Understanding how your jurisdiction handles marital property puts you in a stronger position when negotiating or reviewing a proposed agreement.

Focus On One Debt At A TimeKaboompics.com, Pexels

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Don’t Sign A Divorce Agreement Without Legal Advice

If your spouse is pushing you to settle quickly, take a step back. A family‑law attorney can ensure that your contributions, custody of children, and long‑term financial needs are taken seriously in the agreement.

Sora ShimazakiSora Shimazaki, Pexels

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Taxes And Future Earning Potential

Some assets may look great now but cost more later because of taxes or market fluctuations. Your post‑divorce plan should include the costs of childcare, job retraining, and getting back into the workforce.

Gustavo FringGustavo Fring, Pexels

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Transition Support Helps You Get Back Into The Workforce

You could be eligible for support dedicated to helping you restart a career. This could be for anything from funding for education to training, transportation, or childcare. This can make the transition back to the work force a whole lot easier.

Woman, documents and reading on sofa checking billsHockleyMedia, Adobe Stock

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Child Custody And Support Affect Financial Outcomes

If you are the primary caregiver, child support will certainly be part of the equation. Courts prioritize the children’s well‑being, and this influences how the home and other assets are allocated in the divorce.

Divorce, custody and sad boy child with teddy bear in living room for stress, support and comfort at home. Family, crisis and kid with anxiety for toxic parents, argue or dispute, depression or fearPeopleImages, Shutterstock

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Stand Firm In Your Right To Fair Treatment

It’s easy to doubt yourself when someone you trusted minimizes your role. But homemaking and parenting are essential contributions to a marriage. You deserve respect and a fair financial settlement.

Edmond DantèsEdmond Dantes, Pexels

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Knowledge And Support Empowers You

You made sacrifices that helped your family thrive, and the law will never ignore that. With proper advice, documentation, and confidence in your own worth and contributions, you can fight for a settlement that protects your future and honors the work you’ve done.

Liza SummerLiza Summer, Pexels

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Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5


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