My mom named my brother and I co-executors of her will, but he won't answer my calls or texts. What can I do to get probate moving?

My mom named my brother and I co-executors of her will, but he won't answer my calls or texts. What can I do to get probate moving?


July 10, 2026 | Jane O'Shea

My mom named my brother and I co-executors of her will, but he won't answer my calls or texts. What can I do to get probate moving?


Probate At A Standstill

Being named a co-executor can seem like a straightforward responsibility until one person simply stops participating. If your brother will not answer calls, texts, or emails, probate can quickly stall. Fortunately, the legal system provides several ways to keep an estate moving even when one co-executor refuses to cooperate.

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What Co-Executors Do

Co-executors generally share equal authority and equal responsibility for administering an estate. Depending on the will and state law, they may both need to approve financial decisions, sign documents, gather assets, pay debts, and distribute property to beneficiaries.

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Equal Authority

Neither co-executor automatically outranks the other. Unless the will specifically grants one executor additional authority, both generally have the same legal standing throughout the probate process. That shared authority is intended to provide oversight, but it can also create delays.

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Silence Creates Problems

If one co-executor refuses to communicate, everyday tasks can become difficult. Opening estate bank accounts, selling real estate, filing tax returns, or obtaining court approval for certain actions may all require signatures or cooperation from both fiduciaries.

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Start With Documentation

Keep detailed records of every attempt to contact your brother. Save emails, text messages, certified letters, voicemail logs, and notes from phone calls. Good documentation demonstrates that you made reasonable efforts to work together before seeking court intervention.

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Send A Formal Letter

If informal communication fails, consider sending a polite written letter by certified mail requesting a response within a reasonable period. A formal request often carries more weight than repeated text messages and creates another record for the probate court if necessary.

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Contact The Probate Attorney

If the estate already has a probate attorney, notify them about the communication problems. The attorney may be able to reach the other co-executor directly, explain the legal responsibilities involved, or recommend the next procedural step.

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Petition The Court

When cooperation completely breaks down, the probate court may be able to help. Depending on state law and the circumstances, you may ask the court to issue instructions, authorize certain actions, or address the nonresponsive co-executor's failure to fulfill their duties.

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Removal May Be Possible

Courts generally prefer to keep the person chosen by the deceased in place. However, if a co-executor refuses to act, abandons the administration, or seriously interferes with probate, the court may remove that individual and appoint someone else if permitted under state law.

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Delay Costs Money

Every unnecessary delay can increase estate expenses. Property taxes, insurance premiums, mortgage payments, maintenance costs, and legal fees often continue while probate remains open, reducing the assets eventually available for beneficiaries.

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Family Tensions Grow

Disagreements between co-executors frequently spill over into family relationships. Other beneficiaries may become frustrated by delays, misunderstand the legal process, or assume someone is acting unfairly even when the real issue is simple inaction.

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Stay Professional

Avoid turning the disagreement into a personal argument. Communicate politely, focus on estate business, and avoid emotionally charged messages. If the dispute eventually reaches court, professional behavior can strengthen your credibility.

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Understand Fiduciary Duties

Executors owe fiduciary duties to the estate and its beneficiaries. Those responsibilities generally include acting in good faith, protecting estate assets, maintaining accurate records, and avoiding unnecessary delays that could financially harm the estate.

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Know Your Timeline

Probate rarely moves quickly, even under ideal circumstances. Missing deadlines because a co-executor refuses to participate can create additional complications, making early action preferable to waiting indefinitely for someone to respond.

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Mediation Can Help

Some families resolve executor disputes through mediation before asking a judge to intervene. A neutral third party may help identify practical solutions that allow probate to continue while preserving family relationships whenever possible.

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Protect Estate Assets

Continue taking reasonable steps to safeguard estate property whenever you are legally permitted to do so. Maintaining insurance, securing vacant homes, and monitoring financial accounts may prevent avoidable losses while the dispute continues.

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Avoid Acting Alone

Resist the temptation to bypass your co-executor if both signatures or approvals are legally required. Acting without proper authority could expose you to personal liability, even if your intentions are entirely reasonable.

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Seek Local Advice

Probate procedures vary considerably from state to state. An attorney familiar with your local probate court can explain what options are available, whether court approval is needed, and how judges typically handle uncooperative co-executors.

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Consider Future Planning

This experience may influence your own estate planning. Many people choose a single executor or name alternate executors instead of co-executors to reduce the possibility of deadlock after their death.

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Court Intervention Works

Although asking a judge for help may seem intimidating, probate courts regularly handle disputes involving executors. When someone refuses to perform their duties, the court has tools available to keep the estate administration moving forward.

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Focus On Your Mother's Wishes

It is easy for probate disputes to become personal, especially among siblings. Whenever possible, keep the focus on carrying out your mother's instructions fairly, efficiently, and in accordance with the law rather than winning an argument.

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Moving Probate Forward

An unresponsive co-executor does not necessarily mean probate will remain frozen forever. Careful documentation, professional communication, qualified legal advice, and timely court intervention can often overcome the deadlock and allow your mother's estate to be administered as she intended.

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Sources: Reddit, 2, 3, 4, 5


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