The Kids Are Not Okay
Finding out that your own parent used your identity to open credit cards can be devastating. It’s a betrayal of trust—but more than that, it can leave your credit, your future, and your sense of security in ruins. If you’re in this situation, here are the steps you need to take—each one critical to reclaiming your identity and your financial freedom.
Decide If You Want To Confront Your Parent
Before you do anything else, decide whether or not you want to confront your parent. This is an emotional decision, and you may not get the resolution you hope for—but it could help you understand their motives and protect yourself emotionally.
Think Through Your Goal First
Are you seeking an apology, a repayment, or a confession for court purposes? Be honest with yourself about what outcome you truly want, and whether your parent is likely to give it to you.
Prioritize Safety Over Closure
If you feel unsafe or fear your parent may lash out, do not approach them directly. Your safety must come first—there are other channels that can help you hold them accountable.
Call Each Credit Card Issuer
Reach out to every credit card company tied to the fraudulent accounts. Explain that your parent opened the cards without your consent and ask them to flag and close the accounts.
Be Prepared For Pushback
Some companies won’t close the accounts until you provide documentation, such as a police report or an FTC identity theft affidavit. Stay calm, take notes, and follow up promptly with what they need.
Request A Free Credit Report
Visit AnnualCreditReport.com and request reports from all three major bureaus: Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion. Review every section for unfamiliar accounts or loans.
Make A List Of Fraudulent Accounts
Identify which credit lines you did not open, including dates and balances. This will help you organize your evidence and clearly explain your case when you report the fraud.
Photo By: Kaboompics.com, Pexels
Gather Hard Proof
Start compiling documents that back up your claims—this might include credit card statements, collection letters, or emails. The more evidence you have, the stronger your dispute will be.
Save Messages From Your Parent
If your parent has ever admitted to using your identity—or even hinted at it—save those texts, voicemails, or letters. These could serve as key proof during investigations or reporting.
File An FTC Identity Theft Report
Head to IdentityTheft.gov and complete the online process. You’ll get an official report and access to recovery resources, including dispute templates.
Use The Report To Dispute
Most creditors and banks require this FTC report as proof that your identity was stolen. It also helps when filing a report and disputing credit report entries.
Tima Miroshnichenko, PexelsFile A Report, Even If It’s Hard
Reporting a parent to the authorities is incredibly difficult—but it’s a vital legal step. Without an official report, many financial institutions won’t take the case seriously or help you reverse the damage.
Know Where To File The Report
If your parent lives in a different city or state, file the report with their local law enforcement. Bring your FTC documents, credit reports, and any other evidence you’ve collected.
Push Back If You’re Dismissed
Sometimes authorities may tell you it's a “family matter”. If that happens, ask to speak with a supervisor—or go directly to your local district attorney’s office for help.
Freeze Your Credit With All Three Bureaus
A credit freeze stops anyone from opening new accounts using your information. Contact Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion individually to set up a freeze and prevent further damage.
Save Your Credit Freeze PINs
Each bureau will give you a personal identification number (PIN) or password to manage your freeze. Store this information securely so you can lift the freeze when needed.
Dispute The Purchases With The Credit Bureaus
After freezing your credit, begin formally disputing the fraudulent accounts. Use the FTC and reports to support your claims and request that the accounts be removed from your file.
Track The Progress Of Your Disputes
Credit bureaus have 30 to 45 days to investigate your claims. Once complete, they’re required to notify you of the results within five business days.
Change All Your Passwords
Your parent may have known or guessed your online passwords. Update all login credentials—especially for financial, email, and personal accounts—to stop further access.
Ketut Subiyanto, PexelsSet Up A Password Manager
A secure password manager helps you create strong, unique passwords and alerts you if any of your credentials are found in data breaches. It’s a smart layer of protection going forward.
Replace Compromised IDs If Needed
If your parent had access to your Social Security card, driver’s license, or other forms of ID, contact the issuing agencies. You may need to replace these documents to secure your identity.
Know That You’re Not Legally Responsible For The Debt
If you act quickly and follow the proper reporting steps, you are not liable for the fraudulent debt. Most credit card companies have zero-liability policies for verified identity theft.
Sora Shimazaki, PexelsDon’t Try To “Fix It” Privately
Trying to resolve the situation quietly with your parent can backfire. Unless the creditor agrees in writing to shift the account to your parent’s name, the damage stays on your credit report.
Remember: Reporting Is About Protection, Not Punishment
Taking legal action doesn’t mean you don’t love your parent—it means you’re protecting yourself from future harm. People who commit financial identity theft often do it more than once.
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