Sometimes, we can get over a bad date and move on—but some dates are SO bad, an eject button isn't fast enough. Here Redditors share their tales of when they got hit with the “ick” and took a nosedive into “never again” land.
I went out with a guy who would not stop grilling me, yet I couldn't get him to answer any questions about himself. Finally, I just said, "Look, it's cool that you're so interested in getting to know me, but I'd like to hear about you too. What do you do in your free time”? He sat there and stared for a bit, then started listing off TV shows, asking if I'd seen them.
I had not. Finally, he got to The Wire, which I'd seen a few episodes of, and because that was the only one I had any experience with. I said, "Yeah, I love it!" Worst mistake of my life. Apparently, that meant I needed a 20-minute monologue about what the show was about. I literally checked the clock when he started, and it was a full 20 minutes.
But here's the cherry on top: When he finally petered out, we just sat in silence for a second before he stood up, shook my hand, and left without another word.
He grabbed me by the face on the first date, “stroked” under my eyes, and said, “You need to take better care of yourself”. It took everything I had not to slap him. Sir, I’m a divorced 37-year-old with kids, and those under-eye circles were passed down from my grandmother; they’re family heirlooms, and get your hands off my face. We just met, and this is not a Nicholas Sparks movie.
Every single problem she had was someone else’s fault. Even when there was proof it was her fault, she would argue nonstop that it was someone else’s. She got in a car wreck and called the insurance over and over again to tell them that it was the other person’s fault. But there's one thing she didn't know: They checked the computer in her car because it saved the speed she was going right before the wreck.
It told them everything they needed to know, and she STILL denied it.
I had a guy once whose car smelled so bad I had to try not to throw up while sticking my head out the window. He couldn't smell it. I thought I was going to pass out. It turns out he forgot about a double cheeseburger in the back of his car for over two weeks in the hot sun. I don't know what bothered me more—the smell or the fact that it didn't bother him.
It wasn't the sole reason, but this was a big reason why I got out of the worst relationship I had ever been in. She constantly complained and talked trash about all of the closest people in her life—parents, best friends, AA sponsor, and co-workers. Eventually, this ire started getting directed at our mutual friends and then my friends. I could tell what was coming next.
It was only a matter of time before that vitriol was going to be directed at me, and sure enough, it was. She did not take the break up well. It was the scariest relationship I've been in.
In college, I was seeing a girl who lived in student residence with me but on another floor. She would always talk about how another guy, Tom, on her floor was obsessed with her and would show me texts between them. She said she only talked to him because he’s harmless and that they’re friends. I never met him. After a week, her old friend pulled me aside and said something sinister: In a very serious voice, she told me to NEVER trust her.
She said that the girl I was seeing was a notorious liar, that Tom didn’t exist, and that she added her own number in her phone as “Tom”, would text herself, and then delete the sent messages. The only reason her ex-friend knew that was that she saw the text message exchange happen in the reflection of a mirror when they were in the same room.
I was close with the front desk staff and asked if they could look up the names from that floor. They said yes, and told me that there was no guy named Tom on her floor. I noped out of that relationship real quick.
My brief girlfriend bought me some hair care products before she came over because the store was right by her house. In return, I said I would go grocery shopping and make her a nice dinner. I thought this to be an even exchange. I was very wrong. That night, I found her looking through my trash for the receipt for the groceries to make sure that the 30 dollars she spent on me was equal to the amount I spent on her dinner.
I went on a date with a guy I met at a party. He made me prove that I liked The Lord of the Rings by answering who said what when he quoted someone. He pulled out a notebook of really poorly drawn anime characters and asked me if he could draw me. I should have left there—but it was only getting worse.
He was also a lot shorter than me and asked if it bothered me. I said no, then he said, "Good, I like Amazonian goddesses".
He kept trying to put his jewelry onto me despite my protests. He asked what I wanted to order for food, then ignored me, ordered me something else, and got frustrated when I didn't eat it all.
The icing on the cake was when I wanted to leave. He got my knee-high boots, slipped them onto my feet, zipped them up, and said, "You should always be treated like a goddess. My Morticia Addams". All of this on one date!
I went on a date with a girl who seemed perfectly fine. She was really nice and made interesting conversation, clearly cared, and put effort in the date. But then, halfway through, I realized what she'd been hiding the whole time.
She got a call on her Bluetooth headset, which I hadn’t even noticed beneath her hair. Our whole date, she'd been wearing it! I don’t know why, but it turned me off so quickly. It was a coworker calling, too, and she started discussing some clearly stressful topic.
They got to near arguing, and she kept rolling her eyes and sort of half winking at me every time the coworker said something that annoyed her. She ended up saying she had just seen a car crash and she had to run, which weirdly got me back into her a bit since that’s a slick move, but then immediately called another coworker to complain about the first one. And she kept winking at me.
This was all on a Saturday morning. It was one of the weirdest dates I’ve ever been on.
I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy in my early 20s. It went well, so after dinner, we cuddled in the back seat of his car in a quiet country area listening to music. He gently played with my hand and fingers and gave me a little massage; it was so relaxing. When he got to my wrist, he looked at it and flipped it around a few times. Then said something that will haunt me forever: "It would be so easy for me to break this little thing right now".
I kind of just played it off like, "Tee hee, you're so strong", until he took me home. I tried to de-escalate things, so I didn't acknowledge that statement too much. I just kept the conversation moving to something else and was careful not to embarrass or upset him. I didn't keep seeing him. I was "busy" for the next dates he asked me on, and then acted as boring as possible until he lost interest in me. He started a relationship with someone else pretty quickly after that.
When I was in my senior year of high school, the son of one of my mom's work friends, who was my age, was into me. I wasn't as into him, but he seemed nice enough, and I went out on a single date with him. The reason there was no second date was that he kept trying to find out if I was still a virgin or not. It was creepy enough, but his reason why was the worst part: He said that if I weren’t, then it wouldn't matter if we slept together on the first date, and if I were, he would work for it.
I didn't tell him one way or another because it was none of his business, and his reasoning was utterly pathetic. I never spoke to him again after I called a cab and went home.
I went on a first date with a girl I met via online dating, and it started off fairly normal. That was just the calm before the storm.
We met up for some dinner, and my plan was if we hit it off, I would suggest we continue it elsewhere, like mini putt, a walk in a park, etc. About halfway through dinner, we had a lot of typical first-date talk, and we talked a little about our work. I very playfully mentioned how my one co-worker drives me up a wall.
I stressed this wasn't me ranting, but more of a passing comment of, "I work with this guy Greg. He is a good person, but he just has that personality that clashes with me. I can only handle him for about an hour". She laughed and made a joke about how I probably drive Greg nuts too. But this is when it started getting weird. She brought up this co-worker a dozen more times. It got to the point it started to annoy me, then weirded me out.
She even started asking questions about Greg. After the dinner, she clearly wanted to continue the date, but it just put me off too much. I thanked her for going out with me and politely excused myself, and went home.
On our first date, I was filling up with gas, and she started going through my phone. I saw her go through it and continued to fill gas as she read my text messages. I’m a fairly open person with little to hide, but I do value trust and honesty. As soon as the pump clicked, she put it back in a hurry. I didn't address it immediately, but I knew exactly what to do. Without telling her, I decided to skip the dinner plans and drop her home.
She didn't know I was driving towards her house until we got super close, at which point we had maybe two minutes left together. In a calm and “I’m disappointed in you” tone, I told her I caught her in the act and that blatant breach of privacy was a deal breaker for me. She's too old to be acting like an insecure teenager—she was 26—and she should address this behavior before pursuing serious relationships.
She knew she was in the wrong. She stayed quiet until we got back and left the car without a word, and still no apology. If I can’t even trust you with my phone, I can’t trust you with my future.
The dude was in the bathroom for a while, clearly taking a poo, which was no big deal. He lived in a weird little apartment where the only sink was in the kitchen. He came out and didn’t immediately go to wash his hands. I asked him about it, and he started a small argument where he then refused to wash his hands because “he was going to, but then I made him feel like a child, so now, he has to make a point”.
All attraction was lost in that very second. It was so gross. I can’t believe I let poop hands touch me. I wanted to vomit so badly.
When I was 16, I awkwardly ended up third-wheeling a really embarrassing date. The dude turned up in a white suit, blue sunglasses, and a trilby hat. It was so jarring that I started cracking up in the car as we drove past the restaurant entrance. Who shows up to a date looking like a cross between Michael Jackson and Guy Fieri? If he was a nice dude or at least caring, then I guess I could have let that slide. But this was just the beginning.
He absolutely would not stop talking about how he was the best at literally anything and everything. He talked so much that my friend and I had finished our food before he had even started his. The guy kept insisting that he was the best in the world at Guitar Hero and kept showing us screenshots of the leaderboard like we cared.
I know we were only 16, but it was really embarrassing. I’ve never felt so much second-hand embarrassment.
I went on a date with a guy who LOVED showing how wealthy he was. We went to a carnival, and he was pulling cash out of the ATM as I stood away somewhere close by. He "Psst" me over and was like, "Check it out". He had a whole $4K in his account. I was 19 or 20 years old when this occurred, and $4,000 is a lot of money for someone who grew up poor, like myself.
But the texts between him and his mom weirded me out the most. Later in the date, he showed me text messages between him and his mother where he was bragging about me being "phat", and his mom was like, "Get it"! I noped out. He would message me constantly after that. He was a weird dude.
I met a woman on Tinder a few years back and we hit it off really well. About a week after we had met, she deleted me and blocked me on all forms of social media with little to no explanation. I was texting her on my iPhone and after she sent one last text, it went from iMessage blue to regular text green. After that, I messaged her again a few hours later and heard nothing.
I checked my Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram and couldn't find her anywhere. I panicked because I thought I had genuinely connected with her. But after a day or two, I calmed down and thought, "If this is some kind of a test, I am out. This high school [nonsense]". So, I fired up Bumble and Tinder again and matched with someone on Bumble who showed genuine interest in me and started an awesome conversation.
The next morning, I got a text from the original woman. That's when she revealed her messed-up scheme: "I see you're back on Tinder. I made a fake account to see if you would get back on, and sure enough, there you are". I laughed to myself because I knew immediately I had dodged a big one. I responded by essentially saying, "Well, you blocked me on all social media and my number. How was I supposed to know you'd reach out"?
She literally said, "It was supposed to be a test of your loyalty, and you failed. I can never be with someone who would start talking to other women immediately after something so trivial". I responded saying, "Alright sounds good. Have a good one", then blocked her myself. I ended up marrying the woman I began talking to on Bumble immediately after that first one blocked me. I went from a crazy woman to the most wonderful person I've ever met in my life. Talk about an upgrade.
I had two rounds of dating him because I really liked him. On the first go around, I brought him home with me after our second date. I definitely planned on sleeping with him, but during foreplay, he was SO rough. I kept telling him over and over to slow down and be more gentle, but he just didn't listen. It was like he was mimicking racy movies he'd watched. It totally ended the mood and my interest in him.
I told him that I wasn't interested in dating someone who wouldn't listen to my needs and wants in the bedroom. But that wasn't the last time I saw him...
Months later, he hit me up again, and I agreed to go out with him. I thought maybe he had considered what I had said before. I met him at a great local spot to watch a basketball game since we'd initially connected over a love of the same team. I spent a lot of time getting ready for the date; I looked nice and smelled nice. He showed up after me, and the first thing I noticed was that he was dressed rather carelessly.
More specifically, he was wearing this old beat-up zip hoodie, but it was not a deal breaker. Then, he sat next to me, and we shared a quick hug, and, bam, that was it. I was done. He stank. He absolutely reeked of smoke, and his breath was awful like he hadn't even brushed his teeth. I still had a good time with him watching the game and eating wings and fries, but it was immediately not a romantic thing for me.
I was just watching the game with a buddy. I'm still really disappointed even now because I really liked him. He was super sweet and really liked me back. He just didn't seem mature enough to be in an actual relationship with. Bummer.
I missed a call from her on my cell phone, so she called the landline at my parents’ house because I was home from college on break. Want to hear the creepy part? I had never given her that number. She hadn't been there, met my folks, or knew anyone else that would have been able to give her that number, either. I hadn't even told her I had gotten back into my hometown, and she lived a few hours away.
I didn't answer the phone because I recognized her number on the caller ID and was dumbfounded. She called five more times, back-to-back. I answered none of them and broke things off completely shortly thereafter.
There was a girl I dated for over a year. We were very happy, never fought, and after a while, we planned on moving in together. At one point, I even bought a ring and planned to propose to her. The DAY before I was going to propose, and a week before we moved in together, she broke it off because she was worried we wanted different things in life.
I was ready to settle down and have kids. She still wanted to go to the bars twice a week and didn't want to be accountable to anyone, and there was nothing wrong with that. So, we broke up. If only the story ended there...
48 hours later, she wanted to get back together. I still loved her, so we got back together with no plans of getting married, which is what scared her in the first place.
We moved in together, and things were going fine for about one and a half months. Then, we were planning to go out for dinner, and when I got home, she was crying and wanted to break up again for the same reasons. We actually continued to live together as just "friends", and things were okay. One day, the two of us went shopping together and had a blast, then after we went to a nice restaurant and had a good night.
We got home, and I went to my bed. A few minutes later, she came in, got into the bed, crawled on top of me, started kissing me, and started trying to get it on. At that moment, I had instant "ick". After a year and a half of loving this girl, wanting to be with her and her rejecting me twice, then suffering as just being "friends" in the same house, and her wanting to get busy after a night out as friends were too much.
I felt like everything was on her terms, and I was being used. I just saw straight through it all in that moment laying there in the dark room looking at her. I had zero issues moving on after that, and she actually moved out of the house shortly after that night.
My ex-husband gained a LOT of weight because he chose not to take care of himself and ate enough for three people at each meal. That concerned me, if only for his health. Then one night, I brought home dinner and he did something that I could never forget: Instead of sitting at the table with me, he took his food into the bedroom. He took off all his clothes, laid completely flat on the bed, put his food container on his chest, and ate dinner like that.
It was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen him do. His laziness was completely off the wall, and he only ever made excuses about it. My feelings for him had already been wavering from a ton of other reasons, but THAT was the nail in the coffin. I could never look at him the same way ever again.
I'm over 40, and after this experience, I just gave up dating. I was seeing a guy last year. We met through a mutual interest, and he asked me out. We got on well, and I was hopeful. What did raise some concerns was that he mentioned he'd never had a relationship last very long. So I was cautious, but things started off well enough.
The first time we properly kissed, I almost choked. It was like he was trying to swallow my entire face. I mentioned it was a bit full-on and asked him to be more gentle. It worked for a few moments, and then he went back to the face eating. Despite this, I persevered—probably stupidly. He was generous, sweet, and into the same sort of things as I was. I guess I wanted it to work.
The first time I went to his house and stayed over just destroyed everything. Although he owned his own place and own business and had his life together financially, his house was unsettlingly juvenile. It was tidy and spotlessly clean but was like a bachelor pad for a 12-year-old. After an evening of chatting, cuddling, and watching movies, we went to bed.
It turned out that his kissing wasn't the only terrible thing. He would just completely zone out and totally ignore my requests to be more gentle and slow down. I eventually had to yell to finally get him to stop after gently asking him to stop had no effect, and that absolutely icked me out. I broke up with him the next day after a sleepless night lying next to him, feeling a mix of anger, pity, and ick.
I am still icked out now and have had absolutely no desire to try and get intimate with anybody since then. I appreciate that it's not easy for a bloke in that position, but it messed me up too.
He wore his hat to bed. NOT A BONNET/WAVE CAP, but a legit hat—sometimes woven, sometimes with an actual brim. The same hat he’d been wearing all day came to bed with him. There were other things, but he never went bare-headed. He had hair, but his head was shaped like someone went really hard with the forceps to get him out when he was born. It was a real almond of a noggin.
He also didn’t tuck in dress shirts—fine on some occasions—and tied ties like he was five. He didn’t need to dress for an office job, but I found myself wondering what it would be like if our relationship progressed and I wound up walking down the aisle to a man wearing a shirt like a dress, with a tie that hung lower than the crotch of his pants, wearing a baseball cap or beanie on our wedding day. I couldn’t handle it.
I was on the third date with someone, and everything was great; I really liked him. He was totally respectful...up until now. He was making me dinner at his house, and his three-year-old German shepherd was jumping up on him playfully and scratched him a bit. He picked up this fully grown dog by the scruff of its neck, carried it into another room, and slammed the door.
All I heard was yelling, banging, and the dog whimpering. I just sat in stunned silence. He came out after and told me how frustrated the dog makes him and said, "It's OK to pick up puppies by their scruff. That's how their moms carry them". This was a nearly hundred-pound dog. I didn't want to leave immediately in case it set him off, so I watched a little bit of TV with him.
He put Big Mouth on and kept pausing it to show me how Big Mouth is actually putting out secret messages to defeat the evil leftist propaganda and wake everyone up. He kept patting himself on the back about how not prejudiced he was and how he trained his ex-girlfriend how not to be prejudiced. He started showing me Candace Owen's clips and telling me, "You're good like her.
“She's one of the good Black women. She's a great role model for you". Then, he went on about how Black women are best with Black men because they are too violent and dominant for White men who are weak and submissive and can't properly keep them in their place. I am a Black woman, and he was a White man trying to date me. I went from being totally infatuated to hating him.
I traveled six hours to hook up with an old high school friend. She was a super cool goth chick growing up and super hot as well. We were a little flirty back then but never worked things out. She messaged me one day to catch up. It turned steamy pretty much immediately. If only I'd known what was coming.
We were planning on spending Friday evening through Sunday afternoon together in a weekend of debauchery. Once I arrived, I could not contact her to be buzzed into the apartment building, so I had to sit and wait until another tenant let me in. I got to her apartment and knocked on the door, which was a piece of plywood with a drawer handle screwed on. There might as well have been a literal red flag painted on it.
She eventually opened the door after I pounded for a while. She was still super hot, but her posture was non-existent. She was hunched over to where she was over a foot shorter than her full height when she stood.
We hugged and kissed, and she immediately dropped to her knees and went to town. I mentally forgave the inconveniences so far, as well as the cloud of thick cigarette smoke that filled the room. She then asked me to run an errand with her, so I agreed. We got into her car, and it took several minutes for her even to plug in her iPod because she kept nodding off. But there were still even more red flags to come...
I, for some reason, let her drive to her friend's house, where she borrowed several pills. They ground up and snorted a couple of them before we headed back to her place. I had no idea what this "errand" would be until they started counting out pills and tallying up who owes how many to who in a notebook. I was just sitting there trying not to let too much "WTF" show on my face.
I drove us back to her place. She was still nodding off, more off than on at that point, for the rest of the evening. It took several minutes to exchange a couple of sentences with her. Once we got back, she offered me some mushrooms that she grows in a storage tote. I accepted even though I was super skeeved at that point. I felt a little buzz but didn't trip. She started tripping balls and crawled around the room for the next few hours with a flashlight, looking for something.
She was having some sort of mental break throughout the whole evening, talking about how her ex was listening in on us and knew what we were doing and all sorts of wild stuff. She really wanted to sleep with me, but I just didn't have a rubber heavy-duty enough for me to risk it. While she was inspecting the perimeter of her room, I pretended to go to sleep and excused my way out of there at the crack of dawn on Saturday.
She asked me to go run some errands with her, and we did. It was a fun day, but the entire time we both were talking about how hungry we were. When we finally got back to her place, I was starving, and she said how she couldn’t wait to eat something. She then proceeded to cook an entire artichoke and ate the whole thing in front of me without ever offering me any or showing any concern for the fact that I was hungry as well. The attraction was over. I’d never want to be with someone that selfish.
I met her for the first time at a cafe. She brought her bestie along, which was fine and, from a safety standpoint, not a bad idea when meeting someone for the first time. What happened next was most likely rehearsed beforehand, and they probably saw it played on TV or in a movie sometime. My date excused herself to go to the bathroom.
Typically, that's where women go in pairs, from my understanding. It's the custom for chatting or whatnot, but not this time. My date went alone, and the bestie stayed. That's when I realized what was really happening. The bestie leaned in and said, "If you hurt her, I will hunt you down", or something to that effect. I sort of get the intent of it, and I've seen this before on TV. It's supposed to be kind of this funny little moment, but her delivery was off, and it was super serious and creepy.
I got the ick, and I knew that I wasn't gonna come back from it. When the date came back, I put some money on the table, shook her hand, wished her luck, and left. I didn't really feel it was necessary to explain, as they probably could figure it all out, and by then, I was over it.
In my 20s, I met this fun, cute girl at a wedding reception and asked her out on a date for the following weekend. She said she'd swing by my place, and we could head out from there. I answered my door, and she was carrying a few DVDs. She came in and asked if I wanted to skip dinner and instead get busy while watching homemade movies of her and her ex.
I thought she was joking. She laughed and said she was not. She popped in a DVD, and I got to see...more than I ever wanted to see. I declined, and she left shortly after. It was the shortest first date of my life.
Within a conversation, I briefly mentioned that I viewed their family as very well off, to which they jumped back and scoffed and said, “Me?!? Well off?!? We’re poor”. I realized that I guess I shouldn’t have assumed and said, “Oh! I mean, I kinda just assumed ‘cause you know you guys got two houses. What? Like six cars? And I mean, in the last few months, you guys went to Japan and Austria for family vacations”.
They said, “Well yeah, but like my friends, most of them have four houses. So and so has a house here in town, a lake house, a beach house, and an apartment in NYC”. I was fully expecting them to say that it was because they were actually bankrupt or their parents recently got laid off, and they were struggling, or something along those lines, but no. They just had zero sense of reality and were extremely sheltered. It was an immediate nope from me, someone who grew up below the poverty line.
One summer, I dated this girl, and things were going well. One day, she decided to show me her tap dancing, and for some reason, I just really did not like it. I told her it was cool and all and kept my true feelings to myself. She kept doing these little tap dancing routines from when she was in middle school all the time after, and I hated it.
However, the nail in the coffin was when she tried telling me “creamy” was a flavor and not a texture. She decided to really press the issue and was adamant about this. It was so random, but it wiped out any remaining attraction I had for her.
When I started dating again after leaving my fiancé, I met a really nice gentleman who was a bit of a silver fox; I was 33, and he was 55. We hit it off great. He was intelligent, cultured, and witty. He invited me to a fancy bar, for which I wanted to look nice, so I got dolled up and went to go meet him. Fifteen to 20 minutes went by, so I called him, and it turned out he fell asleep.
He apologized profusely and ran to meet me but showed up in shorts and flip-flops. He then proceeded to sit next to me and paw at me/try to kiss and touch me all over, all while I was trying to hold a conversation. I was totally weirded out.
I went to a guy’s house for dinner. It was a hoarder’s paradise. He “vacuumed and cleaned” before I came over—the trails, between the junk, maybe. There were nine dogs inside. I lost count of how many were outside; there was no back door on his house. Everything was covered in dirt, there were no windows at all, and the toilet didn’t flush.
The only running water in the house was the bathtub. Maybe the washer on the front porch had water, but I didn’t check there. Dinner was served in the dining area. The dining room table was stacked so high with junk I couldn’t see him sitting across from me. I balanced my plate in my lap, dropping bites of food onto the floor where the dogs ate it.
I was afraid to eat it because there was no kitchen, so I didn’t know where it was cooked. I left immediately after and never returned. That was about 20 years ago, and the smells are still in my nose!
I went on a first date with a guy and told him a crazy and sad story about something that had happened to one of my customers earlier that day. My customer was officially blind, so he was in the passenger seat of his van while his wife drove. While sitting at a stoplight in broad daylight, a woman ran toward them screaming, followed by a man brandishing a blade. The man caught the woman up against the passenger side of the van and stabbed the woman to death.
My date said, "It's too bad your customer is blind". I replied, "Yes, I'm sure he felt extra helpless, though I don't know that there's anything he could have done”. Then, my date said the most messed up thing I've ever heard: "No, I mean, it's too bad he's blind, so he missed the chance to watch someone be murdered".
I had been seeing a girl for a few weeks, and I was away on a business trip. One night at about 2:00 AM, I got a call from her panicking, saying her roommate and she got into an argument, and she needed a place to stay. She told me she was parked out front of my house, and I needed to let her in, knowing that I was out of town. She begged me for my garage code or if I had a hidden key so that she could get in.
She had only been to my house once before, and it was so early in the relationship, so I had zero trust in her. I said to her, "You're almost 30. You can handle this. Get a hotel or call a friend who is home".
I live in a pretty isolated area, so I started online dating because it was my only reasonable option. I met this really charming guy; it was a long-distance situation. We met up in person a few times and had been talking for months at this point. A few months into the relationship, I took off work for a week and flew down to see him.
When I went back to his apartment, I walked in a made a horrifying discovery. It turned out he had a dog but didn’t take it outside to use the bathroom. So, it just pooed and peed on everything, and only the poo got picked up—sometimes. I nearly threw up from the smell.
There was a year of build-up. I had taken my shoes off at the door, and I deeply regretted that. A few steps in and my socks were soaked in dog pee.
I screamed and yanked them off, stepping barefoot into what I thought would be the sweet relief of clean kitchen tiles, but no. It only got worse from there. The kitchen floor was tacky with dog pee! It was like stepping in a fly trap. He ran and grabbed his vacuum, apologizing profusely while I leaped across the floor back to my shoes. Looking around, I saw the edges of the walls near the floor were stained a sickly brown, and there was stuff piled everywhere.
I could hardly pay attention, though, because the smell was making me nauseous. So, I ended up getting a hotel for the week and made up some excuse about how I wasn't comfortable staying with him yet. Over the week, I had the pleasure of discovering more of his unsanitary habits, such as never once washing his sheets because he didn't believe it was necessary.
He didn't believe in brushing his teeth and claimed plaque was healthy and protected your teeth. He drank an entire 12-pack of Diet Coke a day, would cook with expired food, he'd leave a pizza sitting out on the table for days eating out if it, and—I kid you not—he spent more time burping and passing gas than not. He also never cleaned the apartment.
When the dog peed or pooped, the pee would be left to dry, and the poop would get scraped up. There was buildup across the entire floor from that. He would only eat burgers at restaurants, and anything I got, he'd wrinkle his nose and tell me, "How gross".
I dated a guy I met at work who drove a sports car and bragged a lot about the things he owned and did. He was nice, but he was in his late 20s and lived at home. He was so completely not housebroken that I had to break it off. He didn't know how to do laundry or fold it, and he didn't know how often he changed bed linens because that's something his mom did. He didn't know how to pay bills because his dad did that. He just cashed out his full-time salary and had fun.
I suspect his mom expected me to continue to mother him as a good wife would.
We talked for a while on Tinder and had our first date at a museum. When I first saw her, I didn't even think it was her and nearly walked past her. It was weird because I don't think she manipulated any of her photos, but her face definitely looked far different in them. She wasn't super ugly, but it was startling not seeing what I expected, and I got turned off almost immediately.
However, I tried rationalizing it and told myself we had a good time chatting, so I went through the date. Huge. Mistake.
It went well at first, so we went to her apartment after. It just immediately smelled like poo and pee. To the left of the door was a puppy pad with poo all over it. Then, I looked at the carpet for the living area, and it was just one giant pee stain.
I broke things off that day and never gave her reasons. She even messaged me a week later, pleading for a reason, but there was no way I was going to admit that I thought she was absolutely disgusting.
I dated a dude who introduced me to his 6-year-old daughter after about a week and a half of dating. His daughter was wonderful, very smart, and well-behaved, but she would very easily get annoyed with him and would always prefer to sit by me, hold my hand instead of his, and ask me to play with her. He shared custody with his baby momma, and right after I met his daughter, he started talking trash about his ex with me. I got unbearably uncomfortable so fast.
He would constantly make his daughter say that he was a better cook and smarter than her mom. He told me his ex cheated on him, that she had toyed with him emotionally, and that she’d still try to send him pictures of her even though she was remarried. We broke up very shortly after that because he was mad at me for working overtime instead of going to a park with him and his daughter. That's when he crossed the line.
He tried to guilt trip me about ending the relationship because he felt like I was abandoning his girl when he had trusted me enough to introduce me to her. After the breakup, he’d send me voice messages from his daughter saying she missed me a lot and that she wanted to see me again, asking me when I could come over. It got out of control. I finally contacted his ex and told her about it; she ended up gaining full custody.
Many years ago, I went out on a date with a woman I met in college. She was incredibly attractive, and I was VERY interested in her. I had a nice evening planned, a movie and dinner at a nice and EXTREMELY expensive restaurant. I picked her up at home, and we headed out. It was a fairly long drive to where we were going, maybe 45 minutes.
The whole time, all she talked about was her old boyfriends, what kind of cars they drove, how much money they made, etc. Everything was about appearance and wealth. She was born to a rich family, drove a really nice car, and had never had a job. I was from a poor family and barely had two nickels to rub together. After about a half hour, I'd had it. I got off the freeway, turned left at the end of the off-ramp, crossed over, and went back the way we came.
She asked what the heck was up. I told her, "This isn't going to work. All you care about is money and how things look. I don't care about any of that stuff. We're just not tethered to the same world. Let's just both of us pretend like none of this ever happened". She cried all the way home, but it didn't bother me a bit.
This might sound quite horrible, but I was dating this girl once. We were together for around six months, and she decided to invite me to her family home. I was actually quite excited to meet her family as I had heard great things about them, and it was also my first serious relationship. I met her dad, who was a lovely guy. He was sitting on the sofa, spilling over it, munching on Cheetos in the most disgusting way ever.
However, that’s not what bothered me, though, as he was genuinely one of the nicest and most intelligent people I had met. What bothered me was that somehow his daughter got every single facial feature he had, so I couldn’t look at her in the same way ever since that. It seriously freaked me out.
I tried looking past it as I thought my brain was just being stupid, plus she made me quite happy, but I broke up with her two weeks later with the lame excuse of, “I need to figure myself out before falling any further into this”.
I was on my third date with a guy. We traveled 70-80 minutes to his town to hang out for the weekend. His employer had offices in both of our cities, and he was working on a project in my city pretty regularly. I drove home with him on a Friday after work. The plan was for him to drive me back Monday morning when he’d be heading back.
The first night was okay. We had dinner and hung out at his place. The second night was going to be dinner, then a pub for a band we both knew. It was supposed to be a mild to moderate night as we had planned to go hiking the next day. He got so plastered he managed to curse out a convenience store employee for no reason after just two pre-drinks when heading to the bar.
Then, he got booted out of the bar/show we were at, got tossed out of two cabs on the way home for acting like a moron, lost his wallet between cab one and two, and peed in a car’s open window while walking the last few blocks to his place. I got him back to his place, and he passed out immediately. I packed my stuff and left; I didn’t leave a note.
I knew some friends were in town at that same concert, so I messaged them and got a ride home. He called and texted me the next day around noon. I made him wait it out until the evening, called him, and told him what went down. I saw him around my town a couple of years later. We spoke for a minute on the street, and within that first minute, he said I didn’t do enough to help him and that it was wrong of me to leave that night. I was polite, then walked away with a kind goodbye.
The attraction really wasn't there, to begin with, but he was a decent fellow with a kind heart. However, he was pretty lazy and didn't take care of himself. He was a basement-dwelling gaming nerd, weeb posters and all, etc. I am not judging, but he was definitely a "type". The worst thing for me was that it was obvious he didn't wash his rear crack.
He would hang up his towel after a shower, and there were these brown streaks. Maybe the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. After a day or two of use, they would reek beyond words. I honestly had no idea how to approach this subject with him. I once casually mentioned that he should shower both in the morning and at night. Generally, he didn't have a lot of BO, but he absolutely did not wash his behind.
I swear this dude was allergic to eating or something because every time he’d eat, he’d sneeze. I can excuse weirdly-timed sneezes, but the problem was that he wouldn’t cover his mouth, so the food he was chewing would just go spewing everywhere. The first couple of times it happened, I thought maybe it was just a coincidence, but no, it was a regular thing. And, instead of apologizing and wiping away the food bits with a napkin or something, he’d pick it up and put them back in his mouth. Years later, it still makes me gag just to think about it.
I was talking to a guy about a scandal around here where a girl took a shower at a party, and a guy came in and accosted her. This was a musician and her mentor, who also invited her to the party and refused to take her home. I was horrified...but then he kept talking. This guy said it was the girl’s fault because she could have known something like this could happen and she should stay home at night.
He sympathized with the perpetrator, saying that because he said it was consensual—who knows if it was true—and now his reputation was smeared. He said he could totally imagine being in that situation himself and someone accusing him of doing the same because he's a musician and mentors kids as well. But I had the perfect response.
I just told him that he should just stay at home at night and not put himself in a situation where he could be accused and there would be no problem. Apparently, that wasn't what he meant. I left the conversation then.
They started talking about past relationships with me like I was a therapist. At first, it was a way to express they were trying to change and take things slow because they often jumped in too fast. I stated I understood, and instead of moving on with our date, they described who, how many, how long, where they lived, etc. It felt more like a venting session, and by the end, I was emotionally drained and never spoke to them again.
I went on vacation, and the person texted me every day asking me to buy things for them and do errands. She had done this several times in the past, which was never reciprocated, and I decided that this time, I was just going to ignore her texts. I was only gone for six days, and I had told her that I would reach out when I got back. After four days, her contact became relentless when I was still on vacation, and after I got back, it was even worse.
She simply wouldn’t take no for an answer. I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath because they just wouldn’t stop pestering me. I wasn’t trying to be a jerk; I was just trying to have some peace. I finally had to tell her not to contact me anymore at all. Naturally, then she insulted me, but I never looked back.
I went on a date with an outwardly "normal" girl. We started kissing and getting frisky back at her place, and she started "meowing" and acting "cat-like". It was little meows at first, and then it led to her stopping, licking her fingertips, and "grooming" her ears. She saw me make a face and questioned why I had. I was straight with her and said, "Because you're pretending to be a cat".
I wasn't prepared for her response: "Oh, was I? Sometimes it takes over when I'm [frisky]". We tried again, she meowed again, and I noped out of there pretty quickly after that.
I dated this girl for a short while—about a month or so—and I visited her home once while her family was out of town. It was just a mess and smelled bad because she had a lot of pets—birds, cats, a micro pig, and some very neglected dogs. The doggies were matted up, smelly, and seeking love and attention. It broke my heart. I inquired about the dogs, and she said, “I don’t know. They’re not mine”.
When I said goodnight later from the car, she leaned in to kiss me. I just didn’t feel connected anymore. I couldn't get the dogs out of my head. I called her later and asked her more about them. They were her father’s, and he was never around. She and her sisters didn’t care for them. That's when I decided I had to do something. So, after a couple of nights, I grabbed the dogs and took them to a rescue shelter.
They’re currently with a new loving home, and the girl’s family never even flinched at the dogs not being there anymore. I broke it off a few weeks later once I knew they were blissfully ignorant of their dogs being gone. She was a sweet girl and liked me a lot, but I couldn’t be with someone who could just ignore some innocent lives that way.
I was not in a serious relationship but a casual hookup. We only knew each other for about four months, and he pooped his pants twice in that time period. The first time, I was like, “OK, people get sick, and things happen”, and I tried to let it go. But the second time, he texted me to tell me about it and said it happened as he was walking out of the bathroom. It never happened around me, but he would tell me about it and also bring it up in front of my friends.
He thought it was very funny and normal for a grown man to do. He also passed gas while we were getting busy, which I ignored because things happened, but then he proceeded to bring it up right after and wouldn’t let the conversation go. He was PROUD of it. There were so many other issues with him that were red flags, but that was enough for me to nope out.
After my divorce, I was on a first date with a woman. We met outside a restaurant and talked for a bit; things were going well. We went in, ordered our food, and kept talking. The conversation came around to, "Where do you work"? She worked in a duck processing plant as an inspector, which was kind of interesting. As our food arrived, she was still talking about inspecting ducks.
For the entire meal, she kept talking about inspecting duck carcasses, saying things like, “Know how to spot tuberculosis in a duck's lungs? I do. I really wish I didn't, but I do”. No matter where I tried to steer the conversation, she wouldn't talk about anything but her job and the various things that can be wrong with duck meat. I paid the check, and we went out to the parking lot and went our separate ways.
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