January 24, 2023 | Eul Basa

Totally Bizarre Exes

Love is grand. That is until bae turns bonkers. These Redditors share some tantalizing and terrifying tales of bizarre behaviors from their exes that left them scratching their heads and even running for their lives. Either way, they can have a sigh of relief as their crazy companions are now someone else’s problem. “Thank you, next”!

1. This Guy Was A Real Square Peg

My ex showed up at my front door about five months after we had broken up. He wanted to tell me about how he's joined a group that solves Rubik's Cubes competitively. I didn't believe it could get worse, but it did. He then quickly solved a cube in front of me and said, "Bam! That's what you're missing"!

I truly had nothing to say in return, and I just stood in my doorway and watched him leave.


Twisted factsPikrepo

2. Revenge Was Best Served Hot

One day, my ex was in the kitchen making some food, and I was just chillin' and watching TV. He came in, took my pants off, and started to go to town on me. I then started to feel this odd tingling sensation which turned into a full-out "Holy cow, I'm on fire" kinda feeling. He was mad at me for something, so he ate a habanero pepper and wanted to punish me.


Worst thing on the jobShutterstock

3. She Reached A Dead End

My ex-wife told me that her previous boyfriend lost his life in a car wreck. Naive me let her go to his funeral in Missouri. A year later, after I found out the disturbing truth. She was cheating on me with several other guys, and she left me for her “deceased” ex-boyfriend.

A year later, I laughed when she called me to tell me they were divorcing and wanted to know if I'd hang out with her during such a difficult time.


Revenge too farShutterstock

4. In A Hole

I dated a guy who was apparently really messed up. As our relationship started to go bad, I informed him that I was going to move out when our lease was up, so he wouldn't be financially hurt when I left.

I kept having what I thought were safe relations with him to keep things mellow for the next month. He didn't want me to leave him, so he started poking holes in the rubbers, resulting in my getting pregnant. He even admitted afterward to intentionally impregnating me so I wouldn't leave him.


Dads Know About Girls FactsShutterstock


5. The Target Of Trash Talk

My long-term ex used to trash-talk me as I was sleeping. He'd be playing his video games as I was sleeping over in our bed. After a while, he would get up and come sit on the edge of the bed. Then, he would start calling me every name in the book, saying what a terrible person I was for sleeping until he would get loud enough to wake me up.


Real mysteriesShutterstock

6. Things Went Down The Toilet Fast

I met a very pretty girl at a They Might Be Giants concert, and we started dating for a few months. Various issues led me to break up with her. We had gone out to lunch to talk about the breakup. I was not thinking straight and let her drive, figuring I would just walk home after.

I usually drove us everywhere, so she never really knew how to find my place. This turned out to be a huge mistake. At our lunch, she freaked out. She started to cause a scene, so I decided it was best if I just left.

Apparently, she thought she could change my mind by driving around every side street until she found me. She then tried to run me down with her car—multiple times. I never ran so hard in my life.

I eventually wound up hiding in a sewer pipe under a bridge for two hours until I thought she had given up. I haven't heard from her since.


Petty Revenges factsShutterstock

7. He Cashed Out On Condiments

When I was in college, I was in a long-distance relationship. My boyfriend at the time asked if I could loan him $60 to help with some groceries. His roommate and a mutual friend called me three or four days later and said that my ex had bought a video game with the money and was caught eating ketchup and other condiments on a plate for dinner instead.


Strangest Encounters in Online Games FactsShutterstock

8. Playing The Fool

I had an ex-girlfriend who came from a difficult home life. I was 21 living in an apartment off campus, and she was 20, living at home. Her stepfather's actions got so bad one time that she asked if her 13-year-old sister could stay with me until things cooled down.

Being a decent human being, I said yes. I slept on the couch while her little sister took my bed for a week. Then, my ex came over. She found out that I had been cast in a play where I played a gay man and would be kissing another man on stage.

She yelled at me, accused me of being gay, then threatened to go to the authorities, saying I was accosting her little sister. All of this was in front of her young sibling. I booted her out. I apologized to her little sister but told her she couldn't stay with me anymore and had her leave.


Worst Guests factsShutterstock

9. Drowning In Lies

My ex-girlfriend showed up at my swim practice, which was supposed to be a closed practice. She proceeded to very loudly tell the rest of the swim team and me that she was pregnant—she wasn't— and that it was mine. Then came the cherry on top. The new girl I was seeing was also on the swim team, and she quickly ended our relationship. That was a terrible day.


The Most Incredible ParentsFreepik, 8photo

10. Bae Was A Busy Bee

I was a complete prude in high school. The thought of even kissing a boy made me nervous, and the thought of holding hands made me sweat. I started going out with this guy who I thought was my friend. We went out for about six months when he convinced me to sleep with him if I loved him.

It was my first relationship, and I was happy to have someone stay with me for that long. So, I figured that what he was saying had some truth in it. I told him I would do it on the weekend his parents would be out of town.

That weekend came around, and whenever I showed up at his place, there were more than 20 people there. I decided to stay and hang out. I drank that night, and when it came time to actually go to bed, he came with me.

We did it, and  I passed out immediately afterward. I woke up later to find myself alone, so I decided to get up and look for him. When I found him, he was in his parents' bedroom, getting busy with another girl.


Inexplicable experiencesShutterstock


11. Obviously Not Over It

My first long-term girlfriend got a job at a lingerie store. All her coworkers were 4–7 years older than her. They took her out clubbing, and she met some guy who was nine years older than her and owned a few small businesses.

She drank a lot, hooked up with him, woke up at his massive house, and decided, "this is the guy for me". She decided she wanted a "break" from me. Basically, she scoped this guy out, found him to meet all her needs, and broke up with me.

A few weeks later, she drove to my house in the car he bought her. It was around 2 am, and I was playing games as per my normal routine. Under the street light, they began going at it. I opened the window to hear if someone was in danger, then realized it was her and him.

Not only that, but there was a special thing she used to say just for me that I always thought was cute and awesome. She was yelling that for him, and he was probably like, "What the heck?"


Totally Bizarre ExesPexels

12. Spoiled Little Daddy’s Girl

After an argument where I accused my then-girlfriend of being just the teensiest bit spoiled and selfish, she admitted that it was because she was an only child. Somehow, it turned utterly chilling. She then told me she had kept it that way on purpose.

Whenever her mother got pregnant, she responded by locking herself in her room and threatening harm until her mother relented. Her reasoning was, "That baby would grow up, and then it would want to ride my dad's horses. They're MY horses! No one else rides them"!

Needless to say, I got out of there. But a week later, I called her anyway because she was ultra hot. We decided to meet at a restaurant to patch things up. To my surprise, when I got there, her dad was there!

The dinner was weird. A nice time was had by all, but I was still upset that her dad was there. Then after dessert, as we were waiting for our coffees, my ex excused herself. I still can't believe what came next.

After she left for the ladies’ room, her dad looked me in the eye and said, "So, I heard you and my daughter had a fight. Well, she told me about it, and she's asked me to tell you that she doesn't think you two should be going out anymore".

I was a bit dumbfounded. My ex returned and asked her daddy if everything went OK, and he nodded. She smiled happily and hugged him, then told me she hoped we could still be friends.

Then, they offered me an aperitif with my coffee. I declined the aperitif and the coffee. I was way too flabbergasted to respond in a suitably quippy manner, so I just left.

About five years later, I saw her at a club. She asked me what I was up to, and I told her I was studying to become a journalist. Her response was, "I knew you would never amount to anything. Thank God I dumped you"!


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13. Dumped!

My friend's ex-girlfriend went into his house while he was gone to get her things; she still had the keys. As she was leaving, she decided she would go and leave a fresh poop right on his bed. Then she did something idiotic. She took a picture of it and uploaded it to Facebook.

She thought she was hot for doing it, too. Needless to say, everyone thinks she's completely insane now, and my friend got a lot of drinks on the house that night.


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14. He Was No Romeo

I had an ex who thought he was Shakespeare. When I had to break up with him, his response was, "Today, I lost my arm...but the stump will still always be waiting for you". He then proceeded to caress my deltoid muscle and kiss it repeatedly. I didn't know what to do, so I just laughed uncontrollably. He ran out of the room crying.


Totally Bizarre ExesPexels

15. Silent Psycho

I'd been dating this girl for about two months. It was a long-distance-ish thing. Therefore, she came up with the idea of crashing at my place for a week or so, then going home for a while, then repeating.

I thought it sounded like an alright idea, so I said sure. I failed to realize the magnitude of my mistake. Until, that is, the first time she showed up at my apartment. She brought a suitcase, her computer, two laundry baskets full of clothes, and three boxes of her belongings.

She was pretty much moving in, but whatever. I'm a pretty easy-going guy, and this girl and I seemed to get along pretty well, I didn’t care. Three weeks after she'd moved in, she still hadn't left yet. I couldn’t find my phone anywhere in my apartment, so I asked to borrow hers so I could call it.

She handed me her phone. I flipped it open and was surprised when I saw her background. It was me sleeping. I kept an entirely straight face and pretended not to notice while I was frantically trying to decide in my head if this was endearing or creepy. Oh, but I hadn't seen anything yet.

Her saved pictures album answered that question for me. There were dozens of pictures—all of me—sleeping—from the entire span of time since she'd moved in. In some of them, she had pulled back the blankets so you could see my entire body.

In others, she was touching me. I broke up with her the next day. I couldn't be comfortable around her after she had done that. Her response to my breaking up with her was to give me the complete silent treatment.

She sat totally still on my bed and refused to look at me or speak to me, even as I moved around her, packing all her stuff for her. I tried to call her parents to come to get her, and they couldn't, so I had to drive her home. It was an hour and a half drive, in awkward, funereal silence.


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16. Throw The Book At Him!

I like manga and have a pretty large collection. As I was in the process of leaving a terrible ex-boyfriend for cheating on me with a 17-year-old, he went through and randomly took one or two books from every series I had.

He also bought me two kittens to try to get me to stay with him, but then refused to let me have them, even though he couldn't keep them. Instead, he set them free outside, where one was hit by a car.  I have no idea about the fate of the second one.


Totally Bizarre ExesFlickr, Nenad Stojkovic


17. A Chilly Homecoming

When I was new in the Army, my sergeant decided to go out drinking in the middle of the week without calling. He came wobbling in well after midnight. I saw him first thing the next day at work, in civvies—not in uniform—going to see the Sergeant Major. When I heard the whole story, I burst out laughing.

It turned out his wife took all his uniforms and a good bit of the rest of his Army kit and laid them out on the driveway. She then turned the garden hose on it all. It was February and about -40°C outside. All his uniforms and kit were frozen very solidly onto the driveway.


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18. A Clear-Cut Case Of Crazy

A few years ago, my ex decided to get back at me by calling the authorities and having me taken into custody for mistreatment. I never hit her, so I thought it would be fine. I got cuffed and released on my own recognizance.

Then, she got a temporary restraining order. I wasn't planning on seeing her again, so that was fine. The same night that I was served, she called the authorities to tell them I had broken the restraining order by calling her.

A thousand dollars in bail later, I went home for the night. The next day, she called the authorities again and told them that I had broken into her apartment and broken a bunch of my own things.

I was at work and had proof of that.  However, it didn't matter as I was questioned for two hours about it. That night, she called them yet again, saying that I had broken the order once more.

I got to spend the night in the pokey. It finally calmed down, until two weeks later when she called again with the same nonsense. The week after that, she took the stand during my hearing to tell the judge that, among other things, I had accosted her.

The judge ruled in my favor after my attorney cross-examined her and tore most of her lies apart. While giving me the ruling, the judge saved her some "face" by saying that this was an agonizing experience.

A week after that hearing, I had another for breaking the restraining orders. The charges were thrown out.  A month after that was my final hearing for the mistreatment charges, which were also thrown out. After all of that, she still wanted her stuff back.

She tried to get anyone from my past involved, but my attorney told her that I would drop off her stuff within a week and she could pick it up. The day after I dropped it off, my attorney called me and asked if I had defaced any of her belongings.

I hadn't and said so. According to her, she found human waste in her coffee mug. He told me not to worry about it. I did, but nothing came of it, and I haven’t heard from her since.


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19. My Ex Was Cracked

I was lending an ex my laptop when she dropped it, and the screen cracked. After that, she continued to use it with an external LCD monitor. She took it with her when she moved in with her new boyfriend, who was a mutual friend. Her reply made me see red. When I asked her to return it, she told me her new boyfriend had the screen replaced, and since he had paid for it, the laptop now belonged to her.


Totally Bizarre ExesFlickr, Warren R.M. Stuart

20. We Didn’t Stand A Ghost Of A Chance

On our first day together as a couple, we were sitting in the front passenger seat of her car, and she was in my lap. All of a sudden, she jumped up. I asked what was wrong, and she replied, "I just saw the body of a woman rolling over the windshield".

I was rather shocked because there wasn’t a body, so I said, "What"? She responded, "Um, sometimes, I see scary things like deceased people walking around and stuff like that". I asked if she was seeing deceased people walking around at that moment.

She pointed to the sidewalk and said that she saw two lifeless people walking around right now. She asked if it scared me that she saw such things. I was thinking, "My new girlfriend is crazy", so I answered aloud, "Yeah, kind of".

She said, "OK, then I won't mention it anymore". We didn't speak of it again, but later on, I regretted not getting her to talk more about it. I was initially shocked, but I could have spoken with her about it once I calmed down. So much happened so fast over the next few weeks. The relationship didn't last.


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21. He Was Kitty Corner In My Room!

At least six months after we had stopped dating, I woke up to my ex in my bedroom, sitting at the foot of my bed. He was giving me a foot massage and had my favorite breakfast burrito for me. It didn't stop there. On another occasion, I awoke to him in my apartment again, but this time he had my cat, which had been missing for several days.

He claimed he had found him after unsuccessfully thinking about jumping off a bridge, then wandering through a cemetery, which was where he found my cat.


Totally Bizarre ExesPexels

22. Rock Paper Scissors Rules

After my last ex and I broke up, we had one of those post-breakup meet-ups. After we were done, we were hungry, so we played rock paper scissors to decide which one of us would go downstairs to grab a snack.

Throughout our relationship, we rock paper scissored almost every situation, and I would win quite often. This time I lost. He agreed to a rematch, and I lost again. Then he told me an unsettling secret. He said that throughout our relationship, he had conditioned me to always use the same order when we played rock paper scissors and that he could manipulate any game to go in his favor.

If it was something he didn't mind doing, he let me win, but if it was something he really didn't feel like doing, he would make me lose.  I told him that was seriously disturbing, but went down to get snacks anyway. It's still one of the weirdest things I've ever experienced.


Totally Bizarre ExesFreepik, 8photo


23. It Was A Bad Call

One of my exes got so angry with me during an argument that she threw the closest thing to her, which turned out to be her brand new $400 phone. It broke in half after I dodged it. Her excuse was, "I thought that was the TV remote".

She then got mad that I didn't call AT&T to try to get her a new phone. After getting tired of her complaining, I called AT&T, and they couldn't do anything since her phone wasn't protected by insurance, which she also blamed me for.


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24. He Went Wacko In Walmart

My ex and I were walking into Walmart, and a little boy came up to me and asked me for money for some sort of charity. I declined. My ex then asked me, "What do you think would happen if I punched that little boy in the face"?

I told him, “I don't know” and continued walking to try to shop for dinner. He said, “What? That's your answer? You aren't even going to tell me"?

I was flabbergasted. I said, "I don't know. It’s not even a real question. You'd probably get locked up". I tried to take his hand, but he was infuriated and jerked his hand away, yelled, "Don't touch me" in the middle of the Walmart and stormed away to the frozen foods section.

I followed him, getting increasingly annoyed because the situation was so stupid. "Come on" I said, trying to take his hand once more, and he blew up and yelled at me to leave him alone. Suddenly, it clicked. I didn’t even actually like him.

Only a crazy person would ask what would happen if they punched a child in the face, and here I was, trying to reason with the person. My boyfriend was mad at me because I didn’t know what would happen if he punched some kid.

So, I calmly and without another word walked away and headed for the parking lot. At some point, he realized that I was heading outside, and he caught up. He yelled, "Were you just going to leave me"?

I told him that I was, and I didn’t care how he was going to get home. Then, I told him, “In fact, I'd really like you to move out. I'll give you a couple of days, but we're done. You can ride back with me or have a fit. I don't care," and calmly I drove home.  He was gone two days later.


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25. Roommate Rival

I moved in with my first "real" boyfriend; it was a new city, new life, with no friends and no connections. He and his roommates—two guys, one girl—messed with my head to the point where I thought I was crazy.

He introduced me to his female roommate, who seemed to be my twin in every way. He encouraged us to spend time together, and we became fast friends.

Then one night, while he was trashed, he told me has been in love with her since grade school! Meanwhile, she was dating someone else, and he swore he was over it.

That Christmas, which was our first together, he bought me this beautiful necklace. I was thrilled. Until the most jaw-dropping thing happened. She opened up her gift from him, and it was an exact duplicate of the necklace.

Neither one of them could understand why I found this upsetting. They convinced me I was being difficult, so I tried to forget about it. In the meantime, I had a full-time job that required me to plan dates well ahead of time.

There was a sci-fi movie I had been waiting years to see, and I really wanted to go see it on opening night. He told me it was going to be crowded and convinced me to go another day.

So, I planned my schedule accordingly and worked on opening night. The morning after, all three roommates bragged about how my boyfriend bought them all tickets to see the movie on opening night, and they had a great time.

His excuse was that he thought his female roommate was the big sci-fi fan, and he got us confused. I insisted that he take me to the next showing, and he did. Just before we left for the theater, his roommates ruined the ending for me.


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26. Past Life Lunacy

Once, as I was lying in bed next to my boyfriend, he grabbed me by the hand and led me to his workshop inside his studio flat. There was a rather strange collection of handmade swords. He told me they were Celtic, and based on his memories of his previous life as a warrior. Then, we walked onto the deck to look at the moon.

He began regaling me with stories about his link to his past Celtic life and his obsession with ancient armaments. One night a few weeks later, when we were supposed to be going out for dinner, he stood me up. I found out it was because he had joined the French Foreign Legion.


Totally Bizarre ExesFlickr, Ars Electronica

27. He Coveted My Cat

My ex came from an extremely religious family where he was forced into homeschooling and his religion. His childhood messed with him so much that his social issues were pretty bad.

He once choked my best friend for no reason and would purr and meow at me, but not in a funny way. One day, I was petting my cat and saying, "Aww, I love you, Maxyy”, as I did with all of my pets.

He then got up out of the chair and put the cat in the other room, saying he was too jealous to watch it.


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28. He Was Not Up To Grade

My ex and I broke up and got back together. He had dumped me the first time, so upon getting back with him, I felt very cautious about my behavior. I really wanted things to work out, and I was afraid he would dump me again.

I was out of town for a week on a trip. While I was gone, he told me that he had been hanging out with a girl he often flirted with in front of me. I got jealous. He told me he was going to write down things that needed to be addressed when I got back into town.

The things he wrote down eventually became a list of behaviors I exhibited that he didn't like. Looking back on it, the items were terrifying. It ranged from my jealousy to my unauthorized downloading of music and the biting of my nails. Every week, we would go through the list, and he would grade me on my improvement in those areas.


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29. Three’s A Crowd, Buddy

When I broke up with one of my exes, he had a bit of a mental breakdown. He was a sweet enough guy, but I was starting to realize that he wasn't my type around the same time he decided he was "in love".

When I left, he made sure to keep contacting my then-new boyfriend and me for over a year. He then decided that he would offer to be our "dedicated assistant" if he could just be with me and would live in our closet or spare room—anything.

After several pages worth of text that was both degrading, embarrassing, and occasionally raunchy, my boyfriend and I both decided to block him from all contact. He still occasionally tries to contact us both, to which he receives stony silence.


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30. Crazy Thought I Had Cooties

My ex and I were making out for a while before going to a party. We got into the car, and we each had a can of pop in a cup holder. I accidentally grabbed hers and took a sip. I realized my mistake and apologized.

She rolled down her window and dumped out the rest of her soda because "my germs were all over it". It was a decent indicator that things were ending.


Totally Bizarre ExesFlickr, Ivan Radic

31. Pet Peeve

For Valentine's Day, my boyfriend at the time wanted to go somewhere to eat iguana. This was totally cool with me since I loved exotic food, and the weirder, the better.

However, I lived in a mid-size city, so I asked, "Where in this town are we going to find a place that has iguana"? His answer stunned me. He replied, "A pet store". He actually wanted us to buy an iguana from a pet store, butcher it, and cook it ourselves, presumably, in my kitchen.

All this because he had seen it on TV—and he was serious! He became all hurt when I reacted with incredulous horror and an emphatic “negative”. To this day, it still shocks me that he thought that was a good idea.


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32. She Fiddled With My Facebook

I was viewing my Facebook news feed one day and realized that I was seeing a lot of people I rarely ever saw post on the feed. They were mostly guys sprinkled in with a few girls. Then, I realized I was missing about half of my Facebook friends.

I had consistently sat at about 820 for the previous three years, and now I noticed I was at about 450. I started going through my Facebook friends list. None of the girls I really talked to were on it anymore; it was almost all guys.

Then, it abruptly hit me—my girlfriend had removed all the girls from my friends list who were at least somewhat attractive. When I confronted her, her response was, "Why would you care? You shouldn't care unless you still want to talk to them even though you're with me". It was insane.


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33. Drain The Vein

I was dating an aspiring doctor. She started phlebotomy courses during our second year of dating. She got really into it and developed a love for protruding veins. One night after the bar, she asked if she could draw blood from me.

Apparently, she had had her eye on a particular vein for a while, and the drinking finally gave her the courage to ask.


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34. Jumping Jiminy!

One of my friends had been trying to break up with his mentally unstable girlfriend for over a year, but she would always threaten to take her life, and he would be guilted into staying with her.

The last time he tried to do it, they were driving to her parents’ house for dinner. They got into an argument, he said he could not do it anymore, and they needed to break up for good.

She opened her car door as they were going 70 mph down the freeway and jumped out. She got hit by multiple cars, but by some miraculous intervention, she lived. She then began stalking him and his new girlfriend. He had to get a restraining order.


Totally Bizarre ExesPexels

35. He Socked It To Me

Years ago, I dated a guy on and off. I learned every bit of what not to look for in a guy from him. He would get mad because I didn't buy him a salad dressing when I went to the market, he was not over his ex, he called his you-know-what “little general”, and he would ply me with drinks when I wasn’t in the mood.

One time, we had a Thanksgiving party with friends. Afterward, he invited me to his place. We were together at the time, and everything was okay. I went to the toilet, and when I came out, he had laid out this pair of white stockings—which did not look new—on the bed.

He told me not to ask where he got them from, but he thought I would look good in them. I understood straight away what was happening. They belonged to his ex. He broke up with her two years before, yet he still kept her stockings and even asked other girls to wear them.

When I confronted him, he went quiet, then turned angry and said, "Why does it matter"?! Then, he cried, saying that he was so lonely he made his mom fly from Costa Rica to visit him and that he was afraid he'd end up alone. I was completely speechless.  I just grabbed my purse and walked out.


Totally Bizarre ExesFreepik,wayhomestudio

36. Look What The Cat Dragged In

An ex that I dated for less than a month—but stayed friends with for a year or so afterward— broke into my place by telling the landlord that she was there to “feed the cat”. I never owned a cat.

She then left literature about addiction on my fridge and helpfully highlighted the parts she thought were relevant, left a box of stuff she thought was mine—most of which I'd never seen before—and took some of my new girlfriend’s stuff, including clothing and boots.

She also emailed the girl I was dating at the time and my mother, telling them what a jerk I was. She even ended the letter to my mother with, "I hope we can still be friends". I ended up getting the authorities involved, and if she ever contacted my family or me again, she would get charged with unlawful trespassing.


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37. Blogger Beware

I had an ex go off the deep end after I ended it with him. He set up an entire blog where he repeatedly trashed me, and wrote rants about wanting to be back with me, wanting revenge, etc. That was just the beginning. He also sent me emails that were 14 pages long, along with "anonymous" emails from "friends" who thought we should get back together.

He sent Facebook messages to all of my close friends about how he was worried about me and would try to gain access to my life through them. It was pretty much full-on stalking. I ended up blocking him on Facebook, email, and IM, and threatened I would have the authorities intervene if he continued with the contact.

I had co-workers and friends watching out for me in case he took it further than the internet and phone. It was definitely one of the scariest periods of my life.


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38. Bordering On The Insane

A couple of years back, an ex-girlfriend of mine, who happened to be German, went over to South Africa with her church group on a cultural exchange. She ended up cheating on me and subsequently leaving me for a local man.

A few months later, I had moved on, and we hadn't had any contact since the breakup. Then, I got the weirdest call of my life. My phone rang from an unrecognized German number. On the other end was my ex, swearing and screaming at me.

It turned out that her new guy was due to visit her and her family in Germany for Christmas, but for some reason, his flight involved an eight-hour stop over at Heathrow in London. In the UK, we had a slight problem with South Africans overstaying their visas.

So, when the ex's new man rocked up in the UK with the story that he was on his way to Germany to stay with his German girlfriend of four months, needless to say, the UK Border Agency was a little suspicious, and they decided to detain him until they could get his story cleared up.

In the end, they decided to keep him in their waiting bay until his flight to make sure he didn't abscond. Apparently, this was all my fault, and I was a horrible human being who couldn’t get over the fact that she was in love with this fantastic man who was one thousand times the man I'll ever be, etc.

I waited for her to finish, then said, "Look, sweetheart, although this makes me feel all warm inside, we haven't spoken since we broke up, so how could I know where he was or what he was meant to be doing”? I then told her to take a hike.


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39. The Stupidity Of Youth

My ex was the most controlling person ever. Back in high school, I couldn't even talk to other female friends because she'd get angry and jealous. Even just replying late to her texts got her mad.

She went so far as to get a new number, pretend to be another chick, and seduce me as a test of "loyalty". I'm glad I left that. Sometimes I just wanna boot my 14-year-old self in the butt for wasting my time.


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40. Crushing On A Crazy

I dated a guy for about two years before I realized he was absolutely nuts. Having a childhood crush on him made me blind to his insanity. We were living with my brother, and one day, the dude just walked into the bedroom holding my brother’s machete.

He then said to me, "I love you and would never hurt you" and just walked back out of the room.


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41. She Blew Up My Phone!

An ex-girlfriend of mine was mad at me about something I had done during our relationship. She called, so I canceled the call. She called again, so I just put my phone on silent mode since I was going to sleep. I'm still shocked at her actions. I woke up to 96 missed calls and 40 messages.

At that point, we had already been broken up for over a year.


Totally Bizarre ExesShutterstock

42. Black Magic Woman

I lost my virginity to my ex-girlfriend of six months. It was amazing and romantic, like in the movies. One week after we had done the deed, she told me she thought she was pregnant because she was having cravings for chocolate and was being an emotional basket case.

I was dumbfounded, seeing as how we used protection, and she had stated that she was on birth control. I soon found out this was not the case. She had lied about the birth control and had poked holes in the rubber.

I asked her to take a test, and she kept delaying it, saying she loved the suspense. She began referring to us as a family and the "baby" as her little pea. I wanted to break up with her, but I couldn’t do that since I could possibly have knocked her up.

After a couple of weeks, she decided she had enough suspense and took the test. It came back negative. She responded to me with, “Congrats, you are not a daddy”. She then broke up with me because she claimed I had used some weird black magic to cause a miscarriage, even when she wasn't pregnant to begin with.


Totally Bizarre ExesPexels

43. GF Was On The Hunt

My brother once dated a crazy. He went out with this girl for about two to three months before we moved from Ohio to Houston. He broke up with her before we left, and said that we were moving, so he definitely had to end it.

She asked that he send her a postcard when he got there. This was actually part of her disturbing plan. He sent the postcard, and about a week later, some lady rang the doorbell and asked if my brother was home.

I was only about 12 years old at the time, so I said, “Yeah, hold on” and made her wait outside. I went up to get my brother, and he looked kind of puzzled because we had just moved down to Texas, and he didn't know too many people.

He talked with the woman for a little bit and came back inside. Then, he instructed me never to open the door for her again. It was his ex-girlfriend. She had driven the 1,400 miles to Texas and started asking people at gas stations if they knew where the suburb we lived in was.

Then, she started asking people for street names. All of that was from a little postcard.


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44. This Family Tradition Blew My Mind

I went to school for glass blowing. As soon as I moved into the freshman mandatory co-ed dorms, there was a girl who lived below me who blew glass as well. We became buddies, but nothing really more, and she became my glass partner.

It takes between 2–4 people to blow glass, and usually, you keep your glass partner for a long time. This way, you get to know each other’s signals, etc.

I would go to her house sometimes during breaks and such, and her parents were super nice. They gave me my designated bedroom and paid for everything. Her dad taught me how to homebrew and took me under his wing on beer making.

It was fantastic. We started visiting on weekends, and by then were pretty much living at her place. Nearing her 19th birthday, she said she wanted to have a talk with me, as it was something that had some sort of time deadline.

She waited until we got into the car to drive back from her parents’ house. Then, she told me about how it was a tradition in their family that dated back as far as their lineage went that the daughter finds a guy to move in with her when she is 18.

When she is 19, they get married and live at her parents’ house until they are 20. Then get their own house together. No, thank you.


Totally Bizarre ExesPexels

45. It Was Like A Bad Dream

My ex-fiancée would sleepwalk every once in a while and do all sorts of crazy stuff in her sleep. One night we went to bed, and I woke up to her on top of my chest, choking me. It was completely dark, and I didn't know what was going on.

I threw her into the nightstand and broke the lamp. She had no idea what was going on. Another time I woke up in the morning for work and went to get a drink from the fridge, and there were two rawhide bones in the fridge decorated perfectly in some sort of design with ketchup and mustard.

It was a pretty intricate design, and she had no idea that she'd ever done it.


Scariest experienceShutterstock

46. Dude, It’s Over!

My ex broke into my house—twice. The first time I was home, but he regretted breaking in and snuck out before I found out he was in the house. The second time, his friends got him out of my house before I got home.

He then refused to get in the car with them after they got him out of my place, and he began wandering around my neighborhood. My neighbors ended up calling the authorities on him because, ironically enough, "He had a crazy look in his eye".

We were broken up for over a year and had had no communication. Then, I learned from mutual friends that he and his new girlfriend tried to jump me a couple of months ago.


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47. Once Bitten

When I was about 14, my first girlfriend and I were experimenting with French kissing. We were kissing, without tongues, and then she said,  “Okay, I'm ready. 1, 2, 3”, and I went in. It was glorious. She tasted like strawberries and gum, and her mouth was warm and inviting.

She started to suck on my lip, and then, she then bit it—hard! There was blood spurting out of my mouth, gushing onto the floor and my clothes. She had bitten a hole clean through the skin below my lip. It was not a small hole.

She had ripped a hole that was about half an inch big. She just stood there, dumbfounded, and asked me if that was normal. I, very calmly, screamed like an animal, and she ran away.


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48. Twin Freaks

I dated a girl who had an identical twin. After a couple of months of dating her, I found out that she and her sister would occasionally "switch places". It turned out that her sister was jealous, and they decided to share me as if I was some toy—even when we were intimate.

After I found this out, the three of us, er, got together. Then, I never talked to them again.


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49. Computer Creeper

My ex hacked into my "hidden" app, which was supposed to be an app handy for when your laptop gets lost. Only, he changed my login and used it to take pictures of me on my computer. He had screenshots of what I was doing and would literally sit for hours and track every move I made on my computer.

When I discovered the folder on my computer where the files were stored, I lost my mind.  He was a psycho.


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50. Son Of A Screwball

A couple of months after we broke up, my ex sent me a series of Facebook messages detailing how a girl he had slept with shortly before we met had come to him and told him that he had a year-and-a-half-old son.

Apparently, she was losing her life to cancer, and he had to take over care of the boy. He even sent me pictures of the boy and said he had had a paternity test done.

He told me all about how he was making child support payments and getting a bigger place for them to live in. I was like, "That's nice, good for you, best of luck".  I guess he didn't feel like it was getting him enough sympathy. His next actions were deranged. A couple of weeks later, he sent me a message telling me his son had passed.

Then, he laid out an elaborate story detailing how the boy had never been his son, that the mother had borrowed the kid from her neighbor and made it all up. I stopped answering any of his messages and changed my phone number.


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Sources: 1, 2

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