We’re 60 With $2 Million And No Debt—But We Want To Help Our Adult Kids. Can We?
You’ve reached a milestone most people only dream about. You’re 60, you have $2 million saved, you don’t owe anyone a dime, and on paper, retirement looks pretty comfortable. But then there’s the part that doesn’t show up in retirement calculators—your kids. They’re grown, technically independent, and still struggling. Rent is high. Childcare is outrageous. Life feels harder for them than it did for you. You want to help, but you don’t want to wake up at 80 wondering where the money went. So… can you afford to support them?
The $2 Million Question: What Does Financially Secure Really Mean?
Two million dollars sounds like a magic number, but retirement isn’t that simple. Financial security isn’t about hitting a balance and calling it done. It’s about how that money fits into your real life—your spending, your health, your expectations, and yes, your family. Once adult children enter the picture, even a strong financial position deserves a second look.
First Things First: How Much Income Does $2 Million Generate?
A common rule of thumb says you can safely withdraw about 4% of your savings each year. On $2 million, that’s roughly $80,000 before taxes. Some retirees choose to be more cautious, especially at 60, and aim closer to $60,000 or $70,000 a year. That number matters because everything else—travel, hobbies, helping family—comes after your basic lifestyle is covered.
Don’t Forget Longevity: Retirement Could Last 30+ Years
At 60, you’re not “old.” You could easily spend three decades or more in retirement. That’s a long time for your money to keep working. Inflation, market downturns, and plain bad luck all show up eventually. The longer your retirement lasts, the more careful you need to be about giving money away too quickly.
Your Biggest Unknown Expense: Healthcare
Healthcare is the expense nobody can predict perfectly. Even with Medicare, there are premiums, deductibles, prescriptions, dental work, vision care, and the very real possibility of long-term care later in life. Many retirees are surprised by how much they still pay out of pocket. This is one of the biggest reasons your retirement plan needs breathing room.
Are You Truly “Debt-Free” In Retirement Terms?
Having no debt is a huge win, but it doesn’t mean expenses disappear. Property taxes still arrive. Homes still need repairs. Utilities still need to be paid. Groceries, insurance, and travel all add up. Before helping anyone else, you need to be confident that your own day-to-day life is fully funded.
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The Emotional Pull Of Helping Adult Children
Helping your kids isn’t just a financial decision—it’s an emotional one. You may feel guilty that they’re dealing with higher costs than you did. You might worry about their stress or feel proud to be in a position to help. Those feelings are normal. The trick is making sure emotion doesn’t quietly override common sense.
Supporting Kids Is Not All Or Nothing
Helping your adult children doesn’t mean saying yes to everything or no to everything. There’s a lot of middle ground. You can help in ways that are meaningful without putting your retirement at risk. The best plans are thoughtful, intentional, and realistic.
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The Most Common Ways Parents Help Adult Children
Many parents help with things like housing costs, childcare, education expenses, or occasional emergencies. Others offer help by letting adult children live at home for a while or by giving cash gifts. Each type of support affects your finances differently, which is why it’s important to think through what makes sense for you.
One-Time Help vs. Ongoing Support
One-time help is usually easier to manage. Writing a check for a specific purpose lets you see the impact right away. Ongoing help, like monthly transfers, can slowly turn into something permanent if no one talks about limits. If you help, it’s important to know whether it’s temporary or open-ended.
The Golden Rule: Your Retirement Comes First
This is the part many parents struggle with, but it’s essential. Your retirement has to come first. You can’t borrow for retirement, and you don’t get a do-over if the money runs out. Protecting your independence now protects your family later.
How Much Is Reasonable To Give?
A helpful guideline is to keep support relatively small compared to your overall savings. For many couples, that might mean helping at a level that feels generous but doesn’t change their lifestyle or future plans. If giving money makes you anxious about your own future, that’s a sign it may be too much.
Why Annual Gifting Can Be A Smart Strategy
Giving within annual gift limits can be a simple, structured way to help. It keeps things predictable and prevents spur-of-the-moment decisions that you might regret later. Just as important, it creates natural boundaries around generosity.
Beware Of Lifestyle Inflation—Theirs And Yours
When parents help too much, adult children may quietly build their lives around that support. At the same time, parents can get used to giving in ways that feel small but add up over time. Both sides can fall into habits that are hard to undo.
Should You Tell Your Kids Your Financial Details?
You don’t need to hand over your net worth statement, but honesty helps. Letting your kids know what you’re comfortable helping with—and what you’re not—sets expectations early. Clear communication avoids awkward conversations later.
Helping With Housing: Proceed Carefully
Housing help is often the biggest and riskiest form of support. Large gifts reduce your savings permanently, and co-signing loans can put your finances on the line if something goes wrong. If you help with housing, assume that money is gone for good and plan accordingly.
The Hidden Cost Of “Just Helping A Little”
Small acts of generosity can feel harmless, but over many years they can quietly turn into a large financial drain. Keeping track of what you give helps ensure that helping stays intentional, not accidental.
The Sandwich Generation Problem
Many people in their 60s are pulled in two directions, helping adult children while also worrying about aging parents. When that’s the case, your financial margin shrinks quickly. This is when boundaries matter most.
Can You Use A Separate “Family Support Fund”?
Some retirees set aside a specific amount of money for family help and stick to it. Once that money is gone, the answer becomes no. This approach removes emotion from decisions and makes generosity easier to manage.
What About Inheritances—Should You Give It Now?
Some parents like the idea of helping their kids now, when the money can make a real difference. That can work, as long as your own retirement plan still holds up under stress. Early giving should never create late-life worry.
Stress-Test Your Retirement Plan First
Before committing to help, it’s worth looking at worst-case scenarios. What happens if markets dip, healthcare costs rise, or you live longer than expected? If your plan still works, that’s reassuring. If it doesn’t, that’s valuable information.
The Risk Of Becoming The Backup Plan
If your kids assume you’ll always step in, they may delay building their own safety nets. Helping is kind, but independence is important too. The goal is support, not dependency.
When Saying No Is Actually Loving
Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care. In many cases, it’s an act of love that encourages responsibility and protects relationships. Financial stress later in life helps no one.
Professional Advice Can Change Everything
A financial planner can help you see the long-term impact of helping your children in black and white. Sometimes the numbers make the decision much clearer—and less emotional.
So… Can You Afford To Support Your Adult Children?
In many cases, yes—but not without limits. A $2 million nest egg gives you flexibility, not a free pass to ignore risk. Thoughtful, measured help can fit into a strong retirement plan. Unplanned generosity often doesn’t.
Generosity Works Best With Boundaries
You worked hard to get here. Helping your adult children can absolutely be part of your story, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of your security or peace of mind. When generosity is intentional, honest, and sustainable, it works—for everyone.
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