When “Motivation” Crosses the Line: What to Do If Your Boss Sends Shirtless Selfies
Getting shirtless selfies from your boss every day—titled “Motivation”—isn’t very unprofessional, uncomfortable and possibly even unethical. And it’s even worse when HR brushes it off as “harmless”.
Here’s what to consider, ask yourself, and do to protect your well-being and navigate the situation effectively.
Acknowledge That Your Discomfort Is Valid
Just because HR says it’s “harmless,” doesn't mean your feelings aren't real and important. We're just going to go ahead and say it for you: Receiving daily, unsolicited shirtless photos from your boss isn't cool! Especially in a professional setting where power dynamics are at play.
Pattern and Frequency
Take note of how often this happens and try to determine whether there’s a clear pattern.
The more frequent or targeted the messages, the more serious the issue. If it’s recurring, it can't be excused as an odd one-off—and it can signal persistent boundary violations.
Determine the Communication Channel
How are these images being delivered? If they're sent via company channels like work email or Slack, that’s a serious misuse of workplace tools. Although, that being said, even personal messaging apps don't excuse unprofessional content from a superior.
Reflect on Power Dynamics
The fact that your boss holds authority over your position makes this situation even more complex (and disturbing). Power imbalances can make it hard to speak up or opt out, and inappropriate behavior from someone with influence may carry an implicit threat or pressure.
Talk to Trusted Colleagues
If you’re feeling a little unsure about how to interpret the situation, it could help to check in with a coworker you trust and see if they’ve experienced similar messages, and what they think of the situation. Having others back up your concerns can strengthen your case and reduce feelings of isolation.
Start Documenting Everything
Keep a secure record of every message, including: images, dates, times, and any follow-up correspondence with HR. Documentation gives you credibility and protection in case the issue escalates or legal intervention becomes necessary.
Revisit the Employee Handbook
Pull out, and dust off that employee handbook and search for sections on harassment, electronic communication, and appropriate conduct. These documents often have specific language that can support your argument when approaching HR again.
Research the Legal Definition of Harassment
Understanding what qualifies as workplace harassment can help clarify your next steps and clarify your belief in what you are feeling. Just know that unwelcome conduct that creates an intimidating or hostile environment may legally count as harassment—even if it’s not physically threatening.
Reengage HR With a Clearer Complaint
Don’t let a dismissive response stop you. Force HR to do their job. Draft a written follow-up to HR that outlines the behavior, how it makes you feel, and how it affects your work. Ask for a formal review and request that the company take steps to address your concerns.
cottonbro studio, PexelsEscalate the Matter Within HR or Leadership
Don't be afraid to go higher up the HR food chain. If your regular HR rep continues to minimize the situation, ask to speak with a more senior HR manager or company executive.
Ask for a Copy of the Investigation Policy
When HR says they’ll “look into it,” you don't have to take their word for it. Request the official policy that outlines how complaints are investigated and resolved. This keeps the process transparent and holds HR accountable.
Consult an Employment Attorney
If internal solutions keep failing, it may be time to consult with a legal professional who specializes in workplace issues. Many such attorneys will offer free consultations and can advise you on whether your rights are being violated—and what you could and should do next.
File a Complaint With the EEOC or State Agency
You may have grounds to file a claim with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) or your state’s labor board. These agencies investigate harassment complaints and can apply pressure if a company fails to act internally via HR or the higher-ups.
Sora Shimazaki, PexelsConsider Going to the Media or Public Channels (Cautiously)
In rare but serious cases, whistleblower protections may apply if the misconduct is extreme and HR refuses to act. However, you'll always want to consult a lawyer before taking this step. Public exposure can have lasting personal and professional consequences so make sure you have all the information needed to make that choice.
Explore Internal Transfers or Role Changes
If the environment becomes intolerable and leadership won’t address the issue, requesting a transfer to a different team or department could give you temporary relief while maintaining your job security.
Alex Green, PexelsWhistleblower Protections
Going back to the whistleblower thing for a moment—Many companies offer anonymous ethics hotlines or internal whistleblower protections. These tools are there to protect employees from retaliation and may be the safest way to report serious concerns without fear of backlash.
Protect Your Mental and Emotional Health
This kind of repeated, inappropriate behavior can wear you down emotionally. Use mental health resources, such as therapy or employee assistance programs (EAPs), to stay grounded and take care of yourself while navigating the stress.
Keep Your Job Search Options Open
Even if you like your job, you deserve a healthy, respectful environment. And if you aren't getting it at your work, then maybe it's worth looking at other employment opportunities. Keep your resume updated and be open to new roles—staying isn’t worth it if your boundaries are continually ignored.
Help Change the Culture (If You Stay)
If your complaint results in change and you decide to stay, then maybe you'd want to consider becoming part of a broader effort to improve company culture. Your courage can help protect others down the line.
You Deserve Respect at Work
Above all, remember that professionalism is not optional—especially from someone in leadership. You have every right to feel safe, respected, and supported in your workplace, and it's more than okay to fight for that.
You Might Also Like:
