My dad set up an annuity but is asking me to borrow money at the end of every month. What options do we have to set up his finances better?

My dad set up an annuity but is asking me to borrow money at the end of every month. What options do we have to set up his finances better?


June 9, 2025 | Penelope Singh

My dad set up an annuity but is asking me to borrow money at the end of every month. What options do we have to set up his finances better?


Annuities are often marketed as a reliable income stream for retirement, but reality doesn’t always match the promise. If your dad set up an annuity but still asks you for money every month, it’s a sign that something isn’t working. Whether it’s poor payout timing, rising costs, or bad planning, the good news is—you do have options.

Understand The Annuity Details

Start by getting a full picture of your dad’s annuity. Is it fixed or variable? Immediate or deferred? What’s the monthly payout? Some annuities have rigid payment structures, while others allow adjustments or partial withdrawals. Read the contract and contact the annuity provider if needed. Knowing the terms will help you identify whether it can be optimized or needs to be restructured.

Steshka WillemsSteshka Willems, Pexels

Review His Monthly Budget

Sit down and review your dad’s income versus expenses. Include annuity payments, Social Security, pensions, and any other income. Then tally essentials like housing, groceries, medications, and utilities. Look for spending gaps or unexpected costs—medical bills or rising insurance premiums are common culprits. This simple act of organizing can reveal where adjustments might be made.

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Avoid Mixing Family And Finance Without A Plan

While it's natural to want to help a parent, lending money monthly with no plan can strain your own finances and emotional wellbeing. Instead of continuing to give sporadic support, focus on creating a sustainable financial structure that reduces his need to ask for help. A one-time effort to restructure could save both of you ongoing stress.

Explore Adjustments Or Withdrawals

Some annuities allow for partial withdrawals, often up to 10% annually without penalties. Others might offer riders that increase payments or provide cost-of-living adjustments. Before making any changes, be sure to check for surrender charges, tax implications, or impact on future payouts. A financial advisor can help navigate these fine-print details effectively.

Mikhail NilovMikhail Nilov, Pexels

Check For Additional Assets Or Income

Aside from the annuity, does your dad have any IRAs, savings, life insurance cash value, or property that could be tapped or restructured? Even small accounts or low-value assets can help cover shortfalls. However, be cautious—early withdrawals from certain accounts may trigger taxes or penalties. Knowing what’s available opens up more planning options.

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Consider Downsizing Or Cost Cutting

If his monthly expenses are outpacing income, downsizing may be necessary. Could he move to a smaller home, reduce transportation costs, or cut discretionary spending? Also review medical and insurance plans—he might qualify for more affordable alternatives, especially through senior-specific programs. Every bit of saved money extends his financial security.

Look Into Public Assistance And Benefits

Many seniors qualify for programs they’ve never applied for. These include energy assistance, prescription subsidies, and even food benefits. Medicaid and supplemental security income may also be available, depending on his income and assets. A visit to a local aging resource center or nonprofit senior support agency can uncover these options.

Kindel MediaKindel Media, Pexels

Talk To A Financial Advisor

This is the type of issue where a fee-only financial advisor can be invaluable. They can review the annuity, suggest investment or distribution strategies, and even recommend a 1035 exchange if a better annuity option is available. Paying for expert advice now could save thousands in missteps later.

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Build A Real Plan Together

Your dad’s annuity was supposed to offer peace of mind, not monthly stress and financial dependence. By reviewing his income, tightening the budget, exploring available benefits, and possibly restructuring the annuity, you can help him move toward a more sustainable and independent financial life—while preserving your own peace of mind in the process.

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