We agreed to sell our house and split the proceeds after our divorce, but my husband wants to sell the home himself without a realtor. Now what?

We agreed to sell our house and split the proceeds after our divorce, but my husband wants to sell the home himself without a realtor. Now what?


September 18, 2025 | J.D. Blackwell

We agreed to sell our house and split the proceeds after our divorce, but my husband wants to sell the home himself without a realtor. Now what?


An Unexpected Change

You thought you and your ex had a clear plan to sell the home with a realtor, split the proceeds, and move on with your lives. Now he suddenly wants to handle the sale himself, throwing out all professional guidance. This unexpected twist could cause conflict, but it doesn’t have to derail your financial outcome.

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Understand The Divorce Agreement

Your first step is to go back and thoroughly review your divorce decree or settlement agreement. If it states clearly that the home must be sold through a realtor, your ex can’t change that unilaterally. The legal document is what will dictate your joint responsibilities, and courts will enforce its language if there’s a breach or if challenged.

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For Sale By Owner Sale

When your ex suggests that he sell the house himself, what he’s really saying is a “For Sale By Owner” (FSBO) approach. FSBO sales save the 5–6% realtor commission but he also has to handle all the marketing, negotiations, and paperwork alone. You have to decide if you’re comfortable sharing that responsibility.

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Evaluate The Potential Savings

It’s true that selling without a realtor can save you thousands in commission. If your home sells for $400,000, you could save $20,000 to $24,000 in fees. But the research shows FSBO homes often sell for less, which may partially offset or even exceed whatever savings you get. Less buyer interest and weaker negotiations can also hurt the bottom line.

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Assess The Legal Risks

Selling property after a divorce adds yet another layer of complexity. With no realtor to make things run properly, mistakes in disclosures, contracts, or timelines can all lead to disputes. You, as co-owner, will share liability if something goes wrong, even if your ex is the one managing the sale. That’s a risk that can affect your finances directly.

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Bring In A Real Estate Attorney

Even if you end up agreeing to a FSBO sale, you should at least insist on hiring a real estate attorney. Attorneys can go over purchase contracts, ensure compliance with state laws, and oversee the closing. Their cost is quite a bit less than a realtor’s commission, and they’ll look after your legal interests and your financial security.

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Protect Your Share Of The Proceeds

A realtor typically acts as a neutral buffer who tracks costs, liens, and final disbursements. Without a professional performing that role, you have to be vigilant. Insist on a clear written agreement that breaks down how the proceeds will be divided after mortgage payoff, taxes, and fees. Don’t throw caution to the wind and expect handshake promises to hold up.

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Mediation To Avoid Conflict

If your ex insists on FSBO and you’re still against it, mediation can help. A mediator won’t take sides but will guide you both toward some kind of practical compromise. Mediation usually ends up costing less than litigation, gives more control over outcomes, and can prevent the disagreement from escalating into a court battle.

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Enforce Decree Depending On What It Says

If your divorce decree specifies selling with a realtor, you can petition the court to enforce the order. Judges generally enforce the terms of a signed agreement unless both parties agree to changes. Legal action can be expensive, but it ensures your rights are respected and that there are no deviations from the original plan.

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Work Out A Compromise

Sometimes the middle path works best. You might give him a chance to try FSBO for a set time, like 60 days, and then list the property with a realtor if no buyer shows up. This compromise may balance his interest in saving money with your need for certainty and fair market exposure.

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Set Out Roles And Responsibilities

If you do go ahead with FSBO, make sure your respective roles are clearly divided. Who’s going to schedule showings? Negotiate offers? Pay for inspections or staging? Set down everything in writing so that both parties are aware of their obligations and neither is blindsided later.

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Keep Your Emotions In Check During Sale

Selling a marital home may stir strong emotions, especially after divorce. Disagreements that come up may not have anything at all to do with real estate but about lingering resentments. Keep communication businesslike and professional and it’ll minimize the chances of emotional flare-ups that cloud your financial judgment.

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Explore Realtor Alternatives

If cost is that much of an issue, there are low-cost or flat-fee brokers whose services you can look into. These services list your property on the MLS for a fraction of the standard commission. They’re not as comprehensive as a full-service realtor, but they can expand buyer reach and bridge the gap between FSBO and traditional representation.

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Understand Buyer Perceptions

Buyers will sometimes approach FSBO listings with the expectation of getting a bargain. Without an experienced agent forcefully negotiating to get you the best price possible, offers may come in lower. Buyers also wonder about whether a potential deal will go through properly without realtor oversight. Knowing these buyer perspectives can help you weigh whether FSBO risks exceed the potential commission savings.

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Address Mortgage Payoff Issues

Make sure the two of you understand how the mortgage payoff will work. The title company or attorney will handle repayment at closing, but both of your signatures may be required. If your ex overlooks this step, closing could be delayed, which puts your finances and credit at risk.

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Tax Implications

Divorce doesn’t erase tax rules. Capital gains exclusions, property tax settlements, and reporting responsibilities still apply. If your ex is trying to take care of things on his own and makes any kind of mistakes in reporting, you’ll be left exposed. Talk to a tax professional to make sure your share of proceeds won’t trigger unpleasant surprises.

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Plan For Closing Costs

Even without realtor commissions, you’ll have to pay closing costs. Title searches, escrow fees, recording charges, and attorney fees must be accounted for and deducted before splitting the proceeds. Clarify in writing how these expenses will be shared. Maintaining transparency now will help you avoid disputes when checks are distributed later.

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Protect Your Credit

If your ex delays the sale, bungles the mortgage payoff, or is hesitant signing closing papers, your credit could be affected. Protect yourself by monitoring the process closely and staying involved in every stage of the process until the deed is transferred and proceeds are distributed.

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Prioritize Your Long-Term Goals

Remember that this sale is about financial closure, not achieving a personal victory over your ex. Ask yourself if resisting FSBO will help you reach your long-term goals, or just aggravate and prolong conflict? Sometimes the smart move is to agree to terms that secure your financial stability without adding any unnecessary aggravation.

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Sell Without A Realtor

If your ex insists on selling the home without a realtor, you still have options. Protect yourself legally with an attorney, clarify how the proceeds will be divided, and stay involved with the process. Balance the risks, enforce the divorce agreement if you have to, and always keep your focus on maintaining your financial well-being long-term.

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