The Grocery Aisle Used To Look Very Different
Walk into a grocery store in the 70s and some of the stuff staring back at you would look completely made up today. Some of the decade’s grocery-store regulars vanished so completely that younger shoppers would probably swear they never existed. And honestly—how many do you actually remember?
Koogle
Kraft apparently looked at ordinary peanut butter and decided it was not nearly exciting enough. Koogle came in flavors including chocolate, banana, cinnamon, and vanilla, complete with the Koogle Nut—a bizarre googly-eyed mascot who looked like somebody had turned a peanut into a Saturday-morning cartoon character. By around 1978, Koogle was disappearing from shelves.
Pizza Spins
These pinwheel-shaped snacks supposedly gave you the taste of pizza in crunchy chip form, which honestly sounds like something that should still be making General Mills millions today. Pizza Spins arrived nationally in 1968 and were still showing up in plenty of 70s lunchboxes. Then, around 1975, they were gone.
Janakiraman janaki, Wikimedia Commons
Marathon Bar
Eight inches of braided caramel covered in chocolate, with a ruler printed right on the wrapper to prove you were getting your money’s worth. Mars introduced the Marathon Bar in 1973, and its commercials promised it would last “a good long time.” Apparently the product itself did not. It disappeared in 1981.
Libbyland Dinners
Frozen dinners for adults were not enough. Libby decided kids needed their own, complete with names like Pirate Picnic, Safari Supper, and Sea Diver’s Dinner. They debuted in the early 70s and turned eating a frozen meal into an event. By the middle of the decade, though, Libbyland was already disappearing.
Dodge, Mary Mapes, 1830-1905, Wikimedia Commons
Kraft Squeez-A-Snak
Apparently crackers were too much work unless the cheese came shooting out of a tube. Kraft’s Squeez-A-Snak arrived in the 70s with flavors like bacon, garlic, pimento, and hickory smoke, plus a star-shaped nozzle so your snack could look fancy. It was weird, convenient, extremely 70s—and gone by 1975.
Crazy Cow Cereal
The real selling point of Crazy Cow was not necessarily the cereal. It was what happened to the milk. Chocolate Crazy Cow turned it chocolatey, while the strawberry version turned it pink. After hitting grocery stores nationally in the late 70s, Crazy Cow had a very short run before disappearing in the early 80s.
Reggie! Bar
Reggie Jackson was such a big deal that somebody decided he needed his own candy bar. The Reggie! Bar was a flat, round chocolate patty packed with caramel and peanuts, and fans famously threw them onto the field after Jackson homered. Introduced in 1978, the original version was gone by 1981.
Breakfast Squares
Breakfast Squares were basically what happened when somebody decided breakfast should come wrapped like a candy bar. General Mills introduced them in 1971 in flavors like chocolate, cinnamon, cherry, and orange, with plenty of sweetness thrown in for good measure. Somehow, this counted as breakfast. By the end of the decade, they were fading from shelves.
Morton Twinkie Supper
Somebody at Morton apparently asked the most important question in frozen-food history: “What if the TV dinner came with a Twinkie?” Around 1974, that became reality. Versions included things like spaghetti or a beef patty, plus sides and an actual Twinkie sitting in the tray.
Cool ’N Creamy
Birds Eye looked at pudding and apparently decided the obvious problem was that nobody was storing it next to the frozen peas. Cool ’N Creamy came frozen in individual cups in flavors including chocolate, vanilla, and butterscotch. It was around in the early 70s, but the freezer-aisle pudding experiment did not last.
Quake
Quake spent years battling Quisp for breakfast supremacy until Quaker did something wonderfully dramatic: it let customers vote on which cereal should survive. Quisp won. Quake lost. And Quaker actually followed through. Quake disappeared, although his cereal-aisle family tree did give us Orange Quangaroos for a little while longer.
Infrogmation of New Orleans, CC BY-SA 2.0, Wikimedia Commons
Great Shakes
Before every kitchen had a blender sitting on the counter, General Foods offered Great Shakes. You poured powdered mix and milk into a special shaker and did the hard work yourself. Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry were among the flavors. Apparently America eventually decided 30 seconds of vigorous shaking was asking too much.
Betcha Bacon
Long before bacon flavor got added to absolutely everything, General Mills was already working on it. Betcha Bacon arrived in the early 70s as crunchy corn-and-rice snacks made to look and taste a little like strips of bacon. The idea lasted only about four years. By around 1976, General Mills had apparently lost the bet.
cyclonebill from Copenhagen, Denmark, Wikimedia Commons
Danish Go-Rounds
Pop-Tarts apparently were not enough toaster pastry for Kellogg’s. Danish Go-Rounds arrived in 1968 as oval, fruit-filled pastries that were supposed to feel a little fancier. They eventually became Danish Rings, but the new name could not save them. By around 1980, the whole thing had stopped going round.
Thick N’ Frosty
Why make a milkshake with ice cream when you could buy a tub of frozen stuff specifically designed to become a milkshake? Thick N’ Frosty came in flavors like chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. You scooped it into a glass, added milk, and stirred. It showed up in the early 70s and was gone within a few years.
Sir Grapefellow
Apparently breakfast cereal needed old-school flying aces. Sir Grapefellow arrived from General Mills in 1972 with grape-flavored cereal and little marshmallow “starbits.” He had the goggles, the scarf, the whole flying-ace routine. But every great cereal pilot needs somebody chasing him through the clouds.
Baron Von Redberry
Enter Baron Von Redberry. He arrived at the same time in 1972 with berry-flavored cereal and his own flying-ace persona, and General Mills turned the two into breakfast rivals in their commercials. Sadly for both pilots, the real enemy was time. By 1975, both cereals had disappeared.
Seven Up Bar
No, it had nothing to do with the soda. The Seven Up candy bar was divided into seven separate sections, each containing a different filling. Depending on the era, you might get caramel, fudge, coconut, cherry, or other flavors. It somehow survived for decades before finally disappearing in 1979.
Swanson International Style Dinners
Apparently a regular TV dinner was not adventurous enough. Swanson’s International Style lineup brought things like Mexican, Polynesian, German, and English-inspired dinners to the freezer aisle. Nothing said international travel quite like pulling back aluminum foil in your kitchen. By the mid-70s, these particular trips around the world were over.
Campbell Soup Company, Wikimedia Commons
Freakies
Freakies cereal came with a whole gang of bizarre little creatures who looked like they had wandered in from the strangest Saturday-morning cartoon nobody remembers. Kids could collect Freakies toys, magnets, and other goodies, which may have been half the reason anyone wanted the cereal. It arrived in 1972. Around 1976, the Freakies freaked off.
Libby’s Fruit Float
The 70s really loved foods that required explaining. Fruit Float came in a can, contained pieces of fruit, and turned into a pudding-like dessert when you added milk and stirred. Libby introduced it in 1974 with plenty of flavors and advertising. Still, Fruit Float had an amazingly short trip through the grocery aisle.
Aspen Soda
Apparently Pepsi looked at cola, lemon-lime soda, and root beer and thought, “You know what America needs? Apple.” Aspen arrived in 1978 as a clear, crisp apple-flavored soda, and for a minute, people were curious. Not curious enough, apparently. By 1982, Aspen had disappeared.
Orange Quangaroos
Somewhere in the 70s, Quaker decided orange-flavored breakfast cereal was worth trying. Orange Quangaroos featured Simon the Quangaroo and arrived after Quake lost its famous cereal showdown with Quisp. Unfortunately, Simon did not have much more luck than Quake. Within a few years, Quangaroos had disappeared too.
Mug-O-Lunch
Long before instant mac and cheese cups took over pantry shelves, there was Mug-O-Lunch. Betty Crocker sold packets of macaroni and cheese, spaghetti, beef noodles, and other quick meals that could be prepared with boiling water. Introduced in the 70s, the wonderfully literal Mug-O-Lunch was gone by the early 80s.
Fruit Brute
Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry survived. Fruit Brute was not so lucky. General Mills added the werewolf-themed cereal to its monster lineup in 1974, combining fruit flavor with marshmallows. It hung around longer than many cereals on this list, but in 1982, Fruit Brute was sent back to the cereal vault.
Jonathunder, Wikimedia Commons
Quirst
Yes, Quirst. Seven-Up introduced the noncarbonated lemonade drink in 1978, apparently deciding the English language needed a cross between “quench” and “thirst.” There was only one problem: Squirt thought the name looked and sounded a little too familiar. A trademark dispute followed, and by 1980, Seven-Up was barred from using the Quirst name.
Adryan R. Villanueva, Wikimedia Commons
Space Dust
If Pop Rocks were not strange enough, General Foods decided to grind the whole idea into powder. Space Dust arrived in the late 70s with flavors like Galactic Grape and Cosmic Cherry. The name eventually became Cosmic Candy, but the whole experiment was short-lived. By the early 80s, the popping powder had disappeared.
The Shelves Moved On Fast
One year they were in commercials, lunchboxes, freezer cases, and kitchen cupboards. A few years later, good luck finding anyone under 40 who believes something called Orange Quangaroos or Quirst actually existed.
Bill Branson (Photographer), Wikimedia Commons
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