Losing a parent is already emotionally overwhelming, but watching a sibling burn through a $150,000 inheritance on luxury trips, designer clothes, and clubbing can add frustration to grief. You may feel helpless or even angry. But the key is not to lecture or shame him. It’s to guide him before the money disappears completely.
Understand Where He’s Coming From
At 22, your brother may not grasp the concept of long-term financial planning. He’s likely associating money with freedom, escape, or status. He may also be using spending as a way to cope with loss. Instead of yelling at him, talk to him with empathy. Recognize that this money represents more than cash—it symbolizes connection, loss, and a sense of independence.
Start With A Calm Conversation
Pick a relaxed moment to talk. Avoid judgmental language. Ask questions like, “How do you want your life to look in five years?” or “Have you thought about how this money could help build stability?” Keep the focus on goals and opportunities—not what he’s doing wrong. This keeps him engaged, not defensive.
Share Stories, Not Just Advice
Sometimes personal stories resonate more than arm-waving technical-financial lectures. Share examples of people who used windfalls wisely—and others who blew through their money and regretted it. Real-life cautionary tales can plant a seed without sounding preachy. Make it clear that you want to help, not control him.
Suggest A Financial Check-Up
Encourage your brother to meet with a financial advisor—even for just one session. If he’s resistant, offer to go with him. A third party can outline what $150,000 can realistically do: cover tuition, start a business, fund a down payment, or grow into much more through investing. Hearing it from a professional may carry more weight.
Create A Simple Spending Plan
If he’s open to it, help him build a basic budget. For example: spend 10% (about $15,000) guilt-free; save or invest 50%; use 20% for education or skill-building; keep 20% for emergency needs. This allows for fun but also prioritizes the future, giving the money a purpose instead of letting it evaporate.
Talk About Passive Growth
Help him understand how money can work for him. A one-time $150,000 could turn into much more with compound interest or smart investing. Walk him through how an index fund or even a high-yield savings account can outpace inflation and provide long-term stability. Visualizing growth over 10 or 20 years may shift his mindset.
Introduce The Idea Of Guardrails
If he’s receptive, suggest automating savings. Setting up direct deposits into separate accounts, some for spending, others for savings or investing, can reduce temptation. You can also float the idea of putting some of the money in a trust or managed account where it’s less accessible but still his.
Ishan @seefromthesky, Unsplash
Use His Interests To Motivate Change
Rather than try to change who he is, work with what excites him. If he loves travel, talk about how saving or investing now could fund a lifestyle of international living later. If he’s entrepreneurial, explore how he could seed a future business. Aligning financial advice with his passions makes planning feel empowering, not restrictive.
Accept That You Can’t Control Everything
Even with your best efforts, your brother may continue spending recklessly. It’s painful, but you can’t force him to be responsible. What you can do is offer consistent, nonjudgmental support—and model good financial habits yourself. Watching someone close handle money wisely could plant a seed that grows later.
Consider A Family Discussion If Needed
If the situation gets worse: let’s say he starts borrowing money or putting himself at risk, you may want to consider involving another trusted family member. A group conversation may feel more serious to him. Be careful to avoid ganging up on him. The tone should still be compassionate, not confrontational.
A Chance To Build, Not Burn
Your brother is powering through his inheritance now, but all is not lost. With gentle guidance, real-life examples, and practical tools, you can help him press pause and reconsider how to get the most of what he’s been given. This money could be the beginning of a stable future, and you can be a constructive part of helping him make the change!
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