We’d like to believe that our friends and partners will be in our lives forever. Sadly, the fact of the matter is that we’ll often run into someone who isn’t the cool person we thought they were. From people who make false accusations to those who call for no reason, these are some immediate turn-offs.
#1 Taking a Joke
I had a crush on this older guy a while back. He was beyond gorgeous and he seemed to have an interest in me too. But, holy Moses, that man could not take a joke. I could say the most light-hearted joke and he would get incredibly serious about it. Sorry, I can't be with someone who can't laugh once in a while.
#2 Sharing Too Much
My co-worker once told me that her “insides hurt” and I asked why, thinking she was sick or cramping. Instead, she told me that she and her boyfriend did some “crazy things in bed last night.” I immediately walked out of the break room. Lady, if you see this, please stop telling me about your private life. I don’t care.
#3 A Mutual Friend’s Warning
I met a girl through a mutual friend. My friend warned me about her, but I was newly single, she was gorgeous and I was instantly smitten. On the first night I hung out with her, I was blown away by what we had in common. I just had an amazing night with her and woke up the next morning convinced she was the girl I would marry.
That morning, she and I went to Starbucks and on the way I passed a turtle in the street. I've got sort of a soft spot for the slow animals. Not wanting it to get hit and also thinking it would score some points with her, I pulled over, jumped out of the car and moved him off the road. I got back in my car and she went, “What was that?”
I told her that I didn't want it to get hit and she went off on this rant. She was cursing and saying things like, “Those stupid animals. You should have just hit it if it couldn't get out of the way." I wearily stuck it out for another day or so, but that set off some serious alarms that ultimately made me distance myself from her.
#4 I Said One
Back when I was in the seventh grade, I thought this girl named Brandy was really cute. One day, I brought in cupcakes and she wanted two instead of one. I thought she was being a totally greedy witch and instantly no longer wanted anything to do with her. Looking back on it now, puberty was an odd time for me.
#5 No, Not That One
There was this girl I dated a few years back. All seemed okay; she was smart, funny, attractive, the whole package it seemed. A few days into it, though, she started randomly stopping me from eating, pointing out that each food item was poisoned. Not the whole meal, mind you, but individual pieces of it. She’d go, “Stop, not that. It’ll hurt you, have this one instead.” She’d say it with a certain look on her face that made me unsure if she was serious or not.
#6 Just Live Your Life
I've been on dates where we drive somewhere basically to take a picture and then she doesn't care at all about actually being there. Every time, it reminds me of that Black Mirror episode “Nose Dive” where the main character nibbles a perfect bite out of her cookie, takes a picture of it posed with a coffee cup, then doesn't actually eat it. Like, all this effort to fake enjoyment when it's not even something they actually want to do. Jesus, live your life.
#7 Party Girl
I went on a couple of dates with a girl I had been friends with for a couple of years. After two or so dates she started calling me at odd hours of the morning for a ride home from some party she was at. It was inconvenient but I was usually up anyway, so whatever. I did this for her maybe two or three times. The last time, she got in my car and asked me to hold on a minute before we got going.
She then whipped out a baggie and proceeded to attempt to get messed up in my car. Come on girl, I'm not your personal taxi service so you can go partying every night. Plus, who thinks it’s okay to do that in someone else's car without at least asking first? It became kind of obvious to me that she had a habit after that. I lost all interest.
#8 Can’t Function
Once the red flags start flying, usually I dated a girl a few years back who was everything you could ask for in the looks and personality department (when she was sober at least). But Jesus Christ was she teetering on the edge of a non-functioning addict. I just couldn’t deal with any of that, so I called it quits.
#9 An Old Buddy
When my old high school buddy met the girl who would become my wife, he made no effort at all to be nice to her. But whatever, I guess he doesn't have to. The next time I saw him, he was flat out rude. It was that sort of like "men are talking" dismissive garbage. Yeah, I'm good with that. It's been a decade now probably. He's never met my kid or been to my house.
#10 Chocolate Donuts
This one person I knew actually fed their dog a chocolate donut. When I said, “Wait, that’s a chocolate donut! Chocolate is bad for dogs! Did you forget?” They replied, “No, but if they pass away, they pass away.” It totally changed my perspective on them. Who intentionally feeds their dog something they know is harmful?!
#11 Kind of Proud
She told me that she was "kind of proud of ruining" an ex who was very religious. It was to the point of not wanting to get in bed until marriage and pushing his boundaries. She then dumped him when he told her he loved her. She hurt me a lot before that. She said hurtful things. I thought it was in my head. It turns out, she just likes hurting people.
#12 Litter Bug
My mom and sister will be in a drive-thru and accidentally miss the garbage cans before the speaker. They’ll then just start to chuck garbage out the window. Every time, I get out of the car, pick it up and walk across the parking lot to a can and throw it out for them. They laugh, but I get upset. It’s a deal-breaker in other people.
#13 Doing Dog Things
I was dating a girl once and it was going pretty well at first. I didn’t really have any issues with her. But one day, I heard her screaming hysterically at her dog for doing simple dog stuff. Honestly, that was the turning point for me. I just couldn't view her as a nice person after that day. I soon moved on.
#14 Hey, You Up?
Calling me at odd hours when it's not an emergency or anything worth calling late for. Partied out, can't afford an Uber or taxi, and don't want to drive under the influence? Call me, I'll come get you. Someone in your family is going to the hospital, you're really stressed and want me to come in for support? Sure, call me. Calling me in the middle of the night when you know I'm asleep because you want to make small talk? Get out of here.
#15 Going Over Poorly
I've had an issue with my lady. Any kind of lighthearted ribbing doesn't go over well, but I realize it's because she came out of a mentally and physically harmful relationship with a man who systematically broke down her self-esteem. People with high self-esteem can take a joke at their expense, those with low self-esteem are prone to taking it seriously, even if they know you're joking.
#16 Missing the Flags
I had a girlfriend who used to tell me about what she did in the past. At first, I thought it was kind of hot and it felt good that she trusted me enough to be open about her past experiences. But after a while, it became more about comparing me to her past partners and not always in a good light. I should've seen that red flag for what it was.
#17 A Wake-Up Call
I stopped hanging out with a guy I was interested in because he was weird about food. He was fine making food at home, but anytime we went out he'd eat a few bites, then start freaking out that the waitress had put something in his food. This kept happening no matter how I tried to logic him out of it. There were some other signs too. Eventually, I told him he really needed to get help because he might have schizophrenia. He lost it and stopped talking to me. He contacted me two years later thanking me for the wake-up call because that was what he needed. Apparently now, he's doing okay.
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#18 All About Me
She was unbelievably rude and self-centered. I thought she was really cute at first and we’d tease each other. But she just didn’t know when to stop, even when I was genuinely sharing concerns and thoughts. She also only wanted to talk about herself, what she was doing, how she felt, and (for some reason) who she was sleeping with.
#19 Not the First Time
I was ride-sharing with a friend for a long commute. One day, she spent the whole hour-long journey ranting at me about how all men are pigs, there's something wrong with my entire gender, men can't be trusted, etc. (Note: I am male, and have two sons). I could never look at her the same way after that, especially when it wasn't an isolated incident.
#20 Five-Finger Discount
We went on this really adorable date where we just wandered around a grocery store. It was fun and started conversations about foods we liked and places we traveled. As we were walking, he picked up a Vitamin Water and started drinking it. Not a problem, I do it sometimes when I'm thirsty. But when we were almost done with the whole store, he hid the half-drank bottle behind a bag of Little Debbie donuts.
I asked if he was going to pay for it and he said, "To heck with them, they get enough profit." He then went to leave, but I picked it up and paid for it. The rest of the evening was really awkward and it made me think of him as a total jerk and kind of a thief. I never really felt the same for him after seeing him do that.
#21 I’m So Popular
They bought fake Instagram followers. It might seem like something "small," but buying fake followers is basically the same as saying, "I'm okay with lying to people about how popular I am!" Well, wouldn't you know it, she ended up being a massive liar despite the otherwise good first impression that she set.
#22 Learning Too Much
I once met this guy through mutual friends. He was cute, easy-going, had his own place and owned an adorable dog. He also had a pretty good job and seemed like a great guy overall. Naturally, I wanted to get to know him better, so I added him on Facebook. Turned out, he was a flat-earther. No thank you, dude.
#23 Strike Two
Admitted to having committed fraud and being proud of it. I’ve met several people who will go into great detail about how they have defrauded the government and how clever they are for getting away with it. Also, those who immediately shoot down an interest when someone expresses an interest. Like, "Oh I went to see a movie, it was a lot of fun!" "I never go see movies. I don't like movies. Movies are stupid. I watch sports and cheer for my team."
#24 Cutting Her Loose
She went behind the back of my best friend, to whom she was married. I was friends with both the husband and wife for over 15 years, as we had all gone to college together and remained close after. But their marriage ended a few years ago when she found someone else and started sleeping with him behind her husband's back. They divorced, my friend moved on, and she’s with the other guy. She can't figure out why my wife and I want nothing to do with her or her new boyfriend!
#25 Complete Hypocrisy
Double standards. My ex-girlfriend always threw a tantrum when I wanted to spend time with my family, but it's the perfect excuse for her because she's such a "good daughter.” Whenever she wanted to have relations, she would force herself onto me, regardless of my opinion. But anytime I suggested it, she would start crying and tell me to stop making her feel bad about not wanting it. You get the picture. I’m so glad it's over.
#26 Look on the Bright Side
He couldn't entertain the possibility that not everyone tells you the truth or has your best interests in mind. His co-workers would be fake and lie to him, but he’d eat it up. He then got depressed when he found out they weren't being truthful. He insisted everyone and everything was there to help you, I guess. The government was only around to help, that stranger who asked you for your information over the phone doesn't want to lower your interest rate, etc. It's like there was only one side of the coin, the "good" side.
#27 Unhealthy Relationships
Sensing desperation not to be lonely. There have been two guys I started to like, but I could tell their interest in me was driven mainly by their want to not be alone. It didn't feel like they genuinely liked me for me. I get everyone gets lonely sometimes, but not being able to embrace being alone is unattractive to me. I know what it's like, I used to be the desperate one, but I don't think it's healthy to go into relationships that way.
#28 Shameless Pride
I met a woman at the local corner shop and we started talking. We lived on the same road, so we met up a few times and I thought she might turn into a good friend. I was at her place one evening and we were talking about what we did for work. She told me, laughing, that she didn't need to work, she was being “taken care of.”
It turned out, she was scamming the benefits system in every way you can imagine. She claimed disability for a back injury she didn't have, got child benefit for three kids who lived with their dad, inflated the rent she was paying, and lived much, much better than me, working full time.
Now, don’t get me wrong here. I absolutely support the idea of social security, but she was so shameless and pleased with herself. It didn't occur to her for a moment that I would disapprove of what she was doing. I just avoided her after that. I considered reporting her, but it would be fairly obvious it was me.
#29 New Recruits
I have a neighbor who's a pretty nice guy. He even helped me clear the snow off my driveway. I had no problem with him until he tried recruiting my roommate into his Amway group. It took me a couple of hours to convince my roommate not to get sucked into it. Other than Amway, he's nice. I still don't like him, though.
#30 You Should’ve Known
When their behavior changes slightly in a negative way and their response is, " Well, you should have known this about me. I'm not sure why you're surprised." Oh, I'm sorry for thinking that people should be decent to one another. I’m also sorry I don’t use that excuse as a cop-out for blatantly terrible behavior.
#31 Making a Getaway
I’m reminded of a girl I had been talking to. We met on a double date, she was a friend's date, but she ended up liking me more. Things were going fine until she asked when we would be having kids. Not as a joke, not being cute, just a straight-up legit question. I ran, I ran far. I'm fat, I don't even like to run, but that day, I ran.
#32 Noping Out
She "needed to be partied-out to function.” I noped after the first date. Don't get me wrong, we still hang out and are good friends. She's struggling and I'm there for her. It’s just not in the romantic fashion I once intended. There's some other things that lead me to believe we're not compatible as a couple, but she's a truly great friend.
#33 Pause for the Cause
I met a woman one time I really liked, we had a lot in common. She was an aspiring singer and had released an R&B album on iTunes. I listened to it and it was pretty good. Once it got to the point where I was sleeping over at her place, I realized that very randomly, and loudly, she would burst into song. She had a beautiful voice but for some reason, that grated on my nerves. She woke me up several times while I was in one of those extremely deep, happy sleeps. We don’t talk anymore.
#34 Instant Deal Breaker
If they’re rude to waitstaff, it’s a deal-breaker. You’re not better than anyone else, dude. Don’t act like that cashier is less of a person than you are, especially after I’ve complained to you about rude customers. I’m glad your parents give you money so you don’t have to work a minimum wage job, but that doesn’t mean anything.
#35 Thanks, Captain Obvious
I had been talking to a person on Facebook for a little bit. He seemed nice, intelligent, was a deep talker, etc. When he met, he was a total jerk. He was completely self-obsessed and thought he was god’s gift to women. What really upset me was the fact he felt the need to point out every obvious thing about me. The way I stood, the fact my hair wasn’t soft, I had a big nose, you name it.
Everything about me, he just stated the obvious. It’s like I had never looked in the mirror. It was absolutely exhausting and it infuriated me. I wanted to punch him so badly. It was like he pointed out obvious things to make me feel self-conscious. I think he was just intimidated by my confidence because he admitted he didn’t like his appearance. Man, I’m never seeing that guy ever again.
#36 Learning English
I had a small crush on a gal at work. My words didn’t English well when I spoke to her. I always invited her to have a cookie when my department ordered them, even though she worked all the way on the other side of the “office.” I found out she was a major party girl, which is the opposite of me. When she asked me if I had substances, I learned how to English real good.
#37 A Little Respect
If you're mean to my dog, we will not be friends, lovers, or family anymore. It doesn't matter how many times we've been together. It doesn't matter if I owe you money (I'll pay it back though). It also doesn't matter if we were almost done with the ER marathon. If you’re ever mean to my dog, you’re out the door.
#38 Real Friends
Zero self-awareness. My roommate parties and yells about his boring job to anyone who will listen and then gets super creepy with girls. We've tried to assess these issues in a civil way. We’ve also tried to help him out as he always complains about how girls don't like him. He just gets upset and claims we aren't real friends. I can't stand him anymore.
#39 Getting Priorities Straight
He showed me pictures of his dog who he had named Flea Face. This dog was caked in so many fleas. It looked like an SPCA commercial. I told him to get him some help ASAP and keep him on a flea-preventative in the future. He said he couldn't afford flea meds for his dog or his cat (who was in similar condition). He then proceeded to tell me how excited he was about his new Xbox that he just bought. How can you buy an Xbox instead of taking basic care of your animals?!
#40 Who Asked You?
Usually, they say something incredibly pejorative and uncalled for. For instance, I had transferred universities and was showing an underclassman around my old school. We happened to run into a close friend of mine. She’s both proud and well off. We caught up and I told her I worked part-time at a wine store that had cool benefits like a free bottle every month. I’ll never forget her reply. “That’s good because you’ll need that free bottle to drown out your sorrows from working at a wine store.”
#41 I Hate That
We liked the same things rarely and different things often. The things we both liked, we talked about endlessly, we both got passionate about it, and I enjoyed our conversations. However, when I would say I liked X, he would go on and on about how he hated X and make a passive-aggressive comment that generalized people who liked X. “People who are into X tend to be dumber than normal.” So, I eventually stopped talking to him about my interests because everything I liked, he seemed to hate.
#42 Must Love Dogs
Yesterday I found out that the girl I like doesn't like dogs. If I’m being honest, it was a huge turnoff and a massive disappointment. I really like dogs and other animals, but I never expected it to influence how I felt about someone in that sense. It's kind of weird how I learned something about myself in the process.
#43 Boyfriend Narnia
Disappearing to Boyfriend Narnia. Anytime she got with a guy, it was as if everyone else in the world was gone to her. When it didn’t work out, she would come crying, wanting “girls’ nights,” etc. This happened three times until I called her on it. After six months of no contact to suddenly needing constant support, I was out. She was pretty surprised when none of her old friends were there.
#44 Walking Away
My best friend of 20 years was a perpetual whiner. He even ruined a couple of my birthdays with his "my sad life" attitude. I didn't like it, but I put up with it for the most part. Once I had a kid on the way, though, I cut him out of my life. I didn't want my kid growing up around this person thinking that that was healthy adult behavior. I miss him sometimes, but he's like a dog that doesn't know when to stop leaning on your leg. He treats you like it's your fault for pushing him away.
#45 Make a Little Effort
I went on a few dates with a girl I really liked from my job. We got close physically, but she would barely speak any time we were together. I mean, I tried repeatedly for hours to make conversation and share common interests and would receive very little in return. I can't be with someone who I can't have a real conversation with.
#46 Her Sister’s Savior
I overheard her talking about how she "saved" her sister from her eating disorder by saying that she was being selfish and starving herself for attention. That just made it clear to me that she has never had an emotional struggle in her life. As someone who has been told I was faking my depression for attention, that made me want to immediately cut all contact with her.
#47 The Exact Cent
We would go out to dinner and it was either just me and her or we’d be out with our other friend. She would pay the bill down to the exact cent, but we live in Canada where tipping is expected. She would send back her food sometimes or complain and ask for extra stuff, too. I couldn't stand going to dinner with her.
#48 You Can Tell Me
When I was a teenager, I went shopping with a friend and her mom at the mall. They both took me aside and said they knew I'd put something in my purse and they won't tell the shop manager, but I had to put the item back. My friend had made up the whole story. She even tried gaslighting me after I opened up my purse and showed both of them that I had nothing. "I know you took something. I saw you put it in your purse. You can tell me." I never spoke to her again.
#49 Mysterious Sad Boy
I grew to like him a lot because he was so forward and self-assured about what he wanted and how he was going to get it. He talked about communication and everything he wanted to do to make a healthy adult relationship work. The moment I said, "Okay, let's do this", everything changed. He was suddenly playing the role of Mysterious Sad Boy, lost, confused, and guarded. I have no idea what kind of game he was trying to play, but it flew directly against everything I was looking for. I completely lost interest.
#50 Falsely Accused
I had a friend who made false allegations against my dad. She then admitted to fabricating the whole thing because she was jealous of the relationship I had with my dad. I didn't like her after that. Neither did my dad, especially after her family claimed bankruptcy so we couldn't recoup our court costs. She tried to do this same thing a few years later to her boyfriend in college.
