thanksgivingdinner-internal

How To Survive The Holidays With Your Dysfunctional Family


September 27, 2019 | Eul Basa

How To Survive The Holidays With Your Dysfunctional Family


As we head into the cooler months, many people are beginning to count down to the much-anticipated Thanksgiving long weekend, where we'll spend the weekend stuffing our faces with too much food, reminiscing about our childhood, and bonding with family members. But what do you do when you have to spend the holidays with a bunch of whackjobs?

Those of us who come from dysfunctional families often desire the kind of holiday perfection we see in the movies, but we all always inevitably fall short—very short. Whether you're dealing with a mother who prefers your older sister or a grandfather who judges your life choices, there are a few things you can do to survive the holidays so you don't come back feeling worse than you did before they started.

people sitting beside brown wooden table inside roomUnsplash/@kcurtis113

Don't forget to check the comment section below the article for more interesting stories!

#1 Manage your expectations

Let's face it, Aunt Karen probably hasn't changed since you last saw her five years ago. Uncle Joe will undoubtedly make inappropriate jokes and your cousin Kim will still be a spoiled little brat. Manage your expectations. Just because you've changed since Thanksgiving '08 doesn't mean everyone else has.

meat on plateUnsplash/@priscilladupreez

Advertisement

#2 Have an exit strategy

If things get too ridiculous for you to handle, be prepared with an exit strategy, even if it just means escaping to your bedroom for a 10-minute cooldown. Whether you're hosting your family or they're hosting you, find a quiet place where you can go when you get too overwhelmed. It could be the bathroom, the back porch, or maybe even the hallway where you can call a friend to mindlessly complain for a few minutes.

person slicing pie beside breadUnsplash/@element5digital

Advertisement

#3 Invite a friend

No family, no matter how dysfunctional they are, wants to look dysfunctional in front of others. If your family's too hard to handle on your own, try inviting a friend. It may help keep your Uncle Joe and Aunt Karen on their best behavior. If it doesn't, you have someone there with you to lean on when things get unbearable.

woman laughing beside woman smiling sitting on tufted sofa inside the roomUnsplash/@matheusferrero

Advertisement

#4 Look for cheerful moments

This isn't a cheesy Christmas movie. Your family's not perfect, but no family is 100 percent bad. Take a moment to look for the joyful moments. Maybe your grandparents are exchanging a loving look, or your two-year-old cousin is giggling while he plays on the floor. Enjoy the simplicity of your family members' presence while tossing all expectations out the window. If that doesn't work, just quietly sit in front of fire by yourself and enjoy that instead.

smiling man standing and mixing near woman in kitchen area of the houseUnsplash/Cooking In Color

Advertisement

#5 Ask yourself, "Do I really have to go?"

Ah, the golden question. Take a moment to determine if dutifully heading home for Thanksgiving is the right thing to do. Will you be insulted for hours on end about how you're not doing as well as your sister? Will your brother berate your job and life choices? If your family life is toxic, consider politely excusing yourself from the holiday. It doesn't have to be out of anger. Sometimes it's just healthier to let everyone have their space.

man sitting on the area rugUnsplash/@eugenezhychik

Advertisement

READ MORE

Two african american women girlfriends fighting at home

My mom made my sister executor and she wants to be paid for it. Mom's estate seems really simple, is she asking too much?

It can feel strange when your sister asks to be paid for settling your mom’s estate, especially if the paperwork looks straightforward. But executors are fiduciaries who take responsibility for gathering property, handling debts and taxes, maintaining records, and ultimately distributing assets. Compensation for doing that work is common and, depending on state law and the will, may be expressly authorized.
October 9, 2026 J. Clarke
The Management Trap

My boss says accepting a promotion means giving up your overtime pay. Could a higher title actually leave me earning less?

A bigger title sounds like a win, but it can come with a nasty surprise. Some workers are told that stepping into management or a higher-level role means losing overtime pay, even if they end up working longer hours. In certain cases, that promotion can leave your total pay lower than it was before.
October 9, 2026 Miles Brucker
My friend says I should never pay off my mortgage early

My friend says I shouldn't pay off my mortgage early because "banks hate when you do that." Is there any actual truth to that?

Your friend’s warning has a deliciously rebellious edge. Never pay off your mortgage early because the bank “hates it” sounds like insider knowledge from behind the velvet curtain. The truth is less dramatic, but still useful, because lenders do have financial reasons to prefer loans that last longer.
October 9, 2026 Miles Brucker
Internalfb Image (4)

My parents left me alone their rental property, but my sister wants half the rent because she helped renovate the place. Does she have a fair claim?

If you inherited a house in your name alone, it can feel like the answer should be simple. Then a sibling asks for half the rent because they helped your parents pay for repairs years earlier, and suddenly the family drama turns into a legal and financial puzzle. The uncomfortable truth is that help with repairs does not automatically create ownership, but it can still matter.
October 9, 2026 Miles Brucker
Facebook  Internal (3)

Our CEO wants everyone to buy company shares to prove "we're all committed to the team." Our jobs already depend on the company, is this a red flag?

If your employer is nudging workers to buy company stock to show they are “committed,” that can feel less like team spirit and more like a loyalty test. The basic problem is simple. Your paycheck already depends on the company, so buying its shares can tie even more of your financial life to the same risk.
October 9, 2026 Miles Brucker
Separate Inheritance - Fb

My wife wants to keep a large inheritance entirely separate while we use my salary for every bill. Is that financially fair?

A large inheritance can feel like a blessing until it collides with the daily reality of shared bills. One spouse may see that money as deeply personal, while the other may wonder why their paycheck is carrying the whole household. That tension is not just emotional. It raises real questions about fairness, legal ownership, and long-term financial planning.
October 8, 2026 Jamie Hayes


Disclaimer

The information on MoneyMade.com is intended to support financial literacy and should not be considered tax or legal advice. It is not meant to serve as a forecast, research report, or investment recommendation, nor should it be taken as an offer or solicitation to buy or sell any securities or adopt any particular investment strategy. All financial, tax, and legal decisions should be made with the help of a qualified professional. We do not guarantee the accuracy, timeliness, or outcomes associated with the use of this content.





Dear reader,


It’s true what they say: money makes the world go round. In order to succeed in this life, you need to have a good grasp of key financial concepts. That’s where Moneymade comes in. Our mission is to provide you with the best financial advice and information to help you navigate this ever-changing world. Sometimes, generating wealth just requires common sense. Don’t max out your credit card if you can’t afford the interest payments. Don’t overspend on Christmas shopping. When ordering gifts on Amazon, make sure you factor in taxes and shipping costs. If you need a new car, consider a model that’s easy to repair instead of an expensive BMW or Mercedes. Sometimes you dream vacation to Hawaii or the Bahamas just isn’t in the budget, but there may be more affordable all-inclusive hotels if you know where to look.


Looking for a new home? Make sure you get a mortgage rate that works for you. That means understanding the difference between fixed and variable interest rates. Whether you’re looking to learn how to make money, save money, or invest your money, our well-researched and insightful content will set you on the path to financial success. Passionate about mortgage rates, real estate, investing, saving, or anything money-related? Looking to learn how to generate wealth? Improve your life today with Moneymade. If you have any feedback for the MoneyMade team, please reach out to [email protected]. Thanks for your help!


Warmest regards,

The Moneymade team




✕