When your grandmother passed away and left you $80,000, the room felt quiet except for the shuffle of papers and a soft breath of relief. Now you’re holding onto a gift meant just for you—and your husband insists it’s “our” money.
If you’re wondering whether you’re wrong to keep it separate, you’ve come to the right place. Let’s unpack how inheritances are treated, what you can consider, and how you and your spouse can move forward with clarity.
Is The Inheritance Yours Or Ours?
By default, an inheritance received by you during your marriage is considered your separate property, not automatically shared with your spouse. This means that legally the funds belong to the recipient alone, unless they are mixed with joint finances or used in a way that signals shared ownership.
So right now, you’re starting from a position where the $80,000 remains yours—unless actions change that.
How Separate Turns Into Shared
If you deposit the money into a joint account or invest it in something titled in both names, the inheritance can become marital property.
In those cases, your state might view those funds as jointly owned since you effectively treated them as part of the marriage’s finances. That doesn’t mean you must share—but it means you may have already shared, even unintentionally.
What To Keep In Mind Moving Forward
Here is a clear list of things to consider so you can make informed decisions:
Open a separate account in your name alone if you want to maintain the inheritance’s separate status.
Avoid using the funds for joint purchases or paying off a shared mortgage unless you’re okay with those funds being treated as marriage property.
Keep documentation of the source of the inheritance and how you use it—this creates clarity if there’s ever a dispute.
Communication Matters
While you’re within your rights to keep the money separate, it’s understandable that your husband sees it as a shared financial resource. Emotionally speaking, transparency and respect go a long way. Explain that you value the inheritance’s origin—your grandmother’s gift to you—and invite him into a discussion about how to use the money together in a way that honors that while supporting your shared goals.
In the end, you’re not wrong for keeping the inheritance separate, but you’re also not wrong to want unity in your marriage’s finances. A balanced path could include making a portion jointly available while keeping the bulk in your name. If needed, a trusted financial advisor or estate attorney in your state can clarify how local laws treat inheritances so you both walk forward with confidence.
